This concerns a very close friend of mine..... She started dating a guy during her service year (bauchi state) in 2012, The guy passed out before her though they continued to communicate until the girl finished NYSC too....After some months, the guy got a job with a basic salary of 30k.

The girl returned to bauchi & started doing an adhoc work while squatting with a friend. Last year , she got a good job paying close to 300k/month.

The problem now is that they are planning to get married, the lady is 26 while the guy is 27 yrs old. The guy have agreed to join her in bauchi after some deliberations though the girl knew she will have to set the guy up with a good biz( d lady is at least worth 3.5M now).

She discussed the issue with me asking for my own contributions & i decided to ask you guys to help me because I dnt know what to say considering the type of men we have this days....

Please reasonable advice..... Thanks

...Its a game of luck....If she know she can withstand the presure of being the bread-winner (for a period of tym), then she can go ahead and marry him

Please dont just view without commenting....

tnx @ temigracie.... I appreciate ur advice

I don't think getting married is a good idea now , the lady should test wether they are compatible let them live together for like 8months or 1year the lady should give the guy a reasonable amount of money each month and let him feel he is the bread winner then his through behaviour will show , I also doubt the age gap just a year , I don't think the marriage will last caution is require here but through long courtship a lot of things can be ammend.

Thanks @ Olowo..... though the girl said she cant spend her money on a guy without commitment wc is marriage...

Truth is that they are on a long thing. Considering the girl's age, there might already be pressures from home for her to get married since she has a good job. The guy on the other hand by average standards still has some time. Also, they might think love alone will sustain them but the way I see it, marriage ain't bf/gf stuffs...problems will come and what happens then? The typical African man will see everything as an insult because she earns more than he does...the girl at some point will start feeling like she's trapped cos believe me every girl wants to be showered with good things by her man. So my advice: if the girl CAN WAIT for him, good and fine...if not, she should move on...but they SHOULD NOT get married now...

Love is all that matters,,,that's what I think...so,if they feel they r inluv,they should carry on

Thanks @ ideyhere for ur advice.... its really a very complicated situation

I don't know what you mean by she said she can't spend her money on a man if she can't why is she dating the guy if she want the relationship to work she must sacrifice or else ditch the guy and keep waiting for a guy that has money she still has a choice for a lady she is not that old most educated ladies nowadays marry at age 29-30.

@ olowo... what she meant is dat she doesnt want to set d guy up without commitment because no one knows tomorrow.

She needs counselling! Let me have her number!

I agreed what I mean is that all the money for food stuff and a little pocket money should be given to the guy each months and let see how he will spend the money just make sure he has extra money to spend let see how selfish or caring he his.

I understand @ Olowo.... Tnx very much

Sori for d cynism oh, but wot kind of job in bauchi state pays up to 300k per month...abi bauchi day sell oil? Am just thinking out loud.

Okay now to d voice tin u asked for. 1. Is ur friend humble enof? As in can she really love, and respect a man she earns more dan? Dats sth she has to work on first cos if she cant and he has a big ego like me, kapush!

2. I tink der is notin wrong in giving him a little money assistance to help him set up sth na, abi she want marry house-husband?

If she can work on both points above, den IMO, she's on d rite track.

From my own observation, they have not spent enough time together and it will go along way to demolish d relationship.
They should not think of marriage now, let them court for sometime staying close to each other or even staying together cus they really need to test run d whole thing first. Marriage is not something you go into and after few misunderstanding you jump out. As for d monetary issue, I don't see a problem with that as Long as d girl is humble and can set her guy up.

I don't think their love is strong enough to withstand trying times,sometimes when we look back at the type of marriages we have nowadays we realize that friendship is somehow sweeter than marriage only if that boyfriend and girlfriend truely love themselves,if she doesn't love him she should forget about marriage.

Thx @ obongproff, alex & Philismary for ur candid advice.
@ Obong..... she is working with an NGO