Call me all the names you want, Nairaland don turn me to office tatafo

One of my colleagues recently got promoted after doing a very good job of meeting all his targets this year and has been given a prestigious position to work as manager in our UK branch. Now there's no need saying how much he is going to gain from this in terms of finances and new opportunities. We were all happy for him, small jelousy enter small I no go lie

The strange thing now is, he has refused to sign the acceptance letter and is opting for a higher position or even a similar post as long as its in the country(Nigeria).
His reason is that he:s worried about his kids. He has two sons and a daughter, the eldest is 7, the youngest 2yrs. He says his wife beats them 'mercilessly'. He was brought up in a home where corporal punishment was with words and yes there was the occasional caning but not so much. However he is complaining that his wife even uses her bare hands to beat the kids on their back, bumbum, pulls their ears and gives them heavy knocks on their head. He said the last one was when the eldest was given assignment from the summer vacation school and he didn't even know what happened the next thing he heard screaming and on coming in saw the boy crying and the wife pushing him into the guest room to lock him in for 'some time.' He confronted her and she said yes she beat him and wanted to lock him up cos he was being stubborn. The man had to bring the boy out despite heavy protests from the mother and do the assignment with the boy and he said the boy did it well that all it required was a little patience.

He says his wife feels he is spoiling the kids, that that was how she was trained when she was little. He disagrees that all she needs is to be patient that even if she must discipline the highest she can use is cane and not her bare hands.

Because of this he feels he will be 'abandoning his kids to a terrorist'(his words) and his conscience can't let him do so.

But this opportunity is once in a lifetime and will open doors one can only dream of, so some of us are encouraging him to go but be calling often and besides his family can come and join him in a year or two. Others think he should stay and take the higher Nigerian post since the salary is almost the same.

What do you guys think?

Well, tell him to give you the chance since he aint interested. Am sure you would have been the one if only you had stopped eying that babe across your office....

is there any issue with travelling with his family

How is the relationship with the inlaws.. his or her mom

He needs to get this sorted out with his wife. My problem is not even with the traveling after all his wife has been doing a lot even with him in the country. But he should know that he can't be with the children 24/7..

[size=5pt]well, since he is not use to all the wife's kind of upbringing, even the smallest bum smack can be exaggerated sha. But which one is even better:bare hands or cane??[/size]

This ur so called company doesn't know that he is married
The family can't relocate with him?
Na wa for this kind promotion

5minsmadness: Call me all the names you want, Nairaland don turn me to office tatafo

One of my colleagues recently got promoted after doing a very good job of meeting all his targets this year and has been given a prestigious position to work as manager in our UK branch. Now there's no need saying how much he is going to gain from this in terms of finances and new opportunities. We were all happy for him, small jelousy enter small I no go lie

The strange thing now is, he has refused to sign the acceptance letter and is opting for a higher position or even a similar post as long as its in the country(Nigeria).
His reason is that he:s worried about his kids. He has two sons and a daughter, the eldest is 7, the youngest 2yrs. He says his wife beats them 'mercilessly'. He was brought up in a home where corporal punishment was with words and yes there was the occasional caning but not so much. However he is complaining that his wife even uses her bare hands to beat the kids on their back, bumbum, pulls their ears and gives them heavy knocks on their head. He said the last one was when the eldest was given assignment from the summer vacation school and he didn't even know what happened the next thing he heard screaming and on coming in saw the boy crying and the wife pushing him into the guest room to lock him in for 'some time.' He confronted her and she said yes she beat him and wanted to lock him up cos he was being stubborn. The man had to bring the boy out despite heavy protests from the mother and do the assignment with the boy and he said the boy did it well that all it required was a little patience.

He says his wife feels he is spoiling the kids, that that was how she was trained when she was little. He disagrees that all she needs is to be patient that even if she must discipline the highest she can use is cane and not her bare hands.

Because of this he feels he will be 'abandoning his kids to a terrorist'(his words) and his conscience can't let him do so.

But this opportunity is once in a lifetime and will open doors one can only dream of, so some of us are encouraging him to go but be calling often and besides his family can come and join him in a year or two. Others think he should stay and take the higher Nigerian post since the salary is almost the same.

What do you guys think?

orbis: Well, tell him to give you the chance since he aint interested. Am sure you would have been the one if only you had stopped eying that babe across your office....

D position is not transferable

pickabeau1: is there any issue with travelling with his family

How is the relationship with the inlaws.. his or her mom

He can't travel with them just yet. No provision for it. They are entitled to one month vacation with him over there travel expense paid by the company and that's it.
No problems with in laws as far as I know. Why asking?

He should be careful that the 2-yearold doesn't become estranged from him?

5minsmadness:
He can't travel with them just yet. No provision for it. They are entitled to one month vacation with him over there travel expense paid by the company and that's it.
No problems with in laws as far as I know. Why asking?

Normally,,, this is expected.. he will be housed for a period of time and then move to a place of his own
Other have gone and come back
Let him talk to them.. let them move with him

I was expecting objections such as her career etc.. if this is so.. let her rtake a study leave and move


if they cant move to uk for any reason,, the mIL or mum can move to the house

He should tell his wife the reason he is about to reject the offer, so she knows she is compromising the safety of her kids and her husband's job. But I think the beatings would reduce when he isnt around as she might be dishing it out to level up the husband spoiling them. But most importantly, she gats to stop that rubbish.

Shouldn't this guys have discussed how they were going to raise there kids when they were courting? This are things you talk about before you get married.
I guess these things are not important to most Nigerians based on what i read here, all they are concerned about is just getting married asap.

So he is going to have to give up a choice position that the woman too will enjoy just becasuse she cant control herself.

Let him tell his wife the reason why he is not taking the position . . .which is that he cant trust her not to beat his kids to death. Maybe that will make her review her methods of discipline.

Let me just go before I start another topic on kids and discipline, but one thing I have seen time and time again is that naughtiest kids I have seen are the ones their parents beat the most.

Send your collegue the link to the news story where one woman was sent to jail for 11 years a few days ago for beating her 2 year old to death

He should pick up the offer and I am sure the company will make provision for his family as well.
One more thing, you guys should let him know the kids are no slaves and their mum should understand that you turned out good and she was proud to marry you despite not been treated with corporal punishment.

egopersonified: He should tell his wife the reason he is about to reject the offer, so she knows she is compromising the safety of her kids and her husband's job. But I think the beatings would reduce when he isnt around as she might be dishing it out to level up the husband spoiling them. But most importantly, she gats to stop that rubbish.

It won't change anything. I know someone like that woman. Stubborn as a mule. Totally incapable of learning. She'll finally learn in her 60s when her daughters would rather have their MIL with them for omugor

Trishiaprinkle pls send message directly to my email nkpablo@yahoo.com