ihedinobi2:
That's how it was in Yoruba land?

Yes, at least Yoruba Kingdoms

Nashville:

Yes, at least Yoruba Kingdoms

Oh I see. Wow. I've always wanted to study more African history. I didn't realize the Yoruba were that different from the Igbo. But it does make sense when you think about it.

Ok. I think I'll rest here. For now, at least. Thanks for the bit of education, Bros Nash.

ihedinobi2:
Oh I see. Wow. I've always wanted to study more African history. I didn't realize the Yoruba were that different from the Igbo. But it does make sense when you think about it.

Ok. I think I'll rest here. For now, at least. Thanks for the bit of education, Bros Nash.

I didn't know it was different with the igbo culture too. I guess we all have limited knowledge and we are learning from each other.

ihedinobi2:
I already told you: all the hypergamy nonsense wasn't always the norm.

You call it nonsense

I call it nature..

Its not new...most women have always married up. ...
Security, intelligence, strength, prowess etc

Its better nowadays... Some will take a chance on a guy now...

pickabeau1:

forthrightness and simple

I wonder why the other ladies are remiss to accept this

Accept what?
Not everyone is looking for the same thing. I require ambition. My personality makes it necessary. I can't understand people who have no direction/drive.

EnlightenedSoul:

Accept what?
Not everyone is looking for the same thing. I require ambition. My personality makes it necessary. I can't understand people who have no direction/drive.

That most women have always looked for mates who have higher desired parameters money intelligence etc

pickabeau1:

That most women have always looked for mates who have higher desired parameters money intelligence etc

Most people would want it all, but I think we all have our special set of highly valued characteristics.

EnlightenedSoul:

Most people would want it all, but I think we all have our special set of highly valued characteristics.

Ok

Nashville:

I didn't know it was different with the igbo culture too. I guess we all have limited knowledge and we are learning from each other.

Yes we do and we are.

Thanks for this topic. It has been tremendously insightful.

pickabeau1:
You call it nonsense

I call it nature..

Its not new...most women have always married up. ...
Security, intelligence, strength, prowess etc

Its better nowadays... Some will take a chance on a guy now...

You're still making claims, my brother. And I'm still waiting for the irrefutable arguments that hold up your claims.

ihedinobi2:
You're still making claims, my brother. And I'm still waiting for the irrefutable arguments that hold up your claims.

In one word are u saying hypergamy is a modern phenomenon

Nashville:

I will just like to make a few points.

1. Cheating: If a man has to cheat with a woman, then it means men cheat as much as women. It all just depends at what stage of one's life. Because if a man sleeps with a woman, why is the man the only one cheating? And even if the girl were not married, she is cheating on her boyfriend and even with another woman's husband. So cheating is not a problem with men alone, both men and women do it cos it takes a man and a woman to have straight seex.

2. Now you say that it is better to marry a rich bad man than a poor bad man. Honestly, it is best not to be married at all than to be married to a bad man - whether he is rich or poor. Marriage is for a lifetime and I cannot imagine a lady going into a marriage with a guy that treats her horribly, just because he is rich. To me, that is suicide. And please, not all men are bad, most ladies are too obsessed with money that they will willingly marry a horrible rich guy and dump a good poor guy or even a good average guy. So if guys realise that their attitude has nothing to do with their chances of getting a babe, the next thing is to get rich or die trying. And then, when they get rich; they couldn't give a rat's ass about their babes cos they know they can always get a finer babe.

I am actually learning from this thread and we have a huge societal problem.

@Cheating: I will say men do more/boast of doing more and women bear cheating more than men (Then again, nobody stopped the women from leaving). On the average, the wife cheats and boom, she is gone that's why I am not highlighting it. Besides, some cheating husbands humilate their wives with their gfs. In reality, how many women can flaunt their bfs in front of their hubbys?Can they bring their lovers home and tell hubby to pay for their cabs? How many hubbys do you see fasting and praying for their cheating wives or wearing sexy satin boxers and building six packs so that wifey stops cheating? How many husbands are told to walk on egg shells so they don't arouse the anger of their abusive wives?

2. Bad hubby: I will never advice my enemy to marry a bad rich hubby but if a lady believes all men are bad, then she should please choose a rich one. Like a lot had said, money has wings but character lasts.

I have never prayed for a rich husband. Even when people prayef that I see a rich husband then, I don't say amen. Abeg pray I grow in my career or something more profitable

But that's me.

I never looked for 'potentials'

pickabeau1:

In one word are u saying hypergamy is a modern phenomenon

That's an annoying question, pickabeau1.

ihedinobi2:
That's an annoying question, pickabeau1.

Ok

bukatyne:

@Cheating: I will say men do more/boast of doing more and women bear cheating more than men (Then again, nobody stopped the women from leaving). On the average, the wife cheats and boom, she is gone that's why I am not highlighting it. Besides, some cheating husbands humilate their wives with their gfs. In reality, how many women can flaunt their bfs in front of their hubbys?Can they bring their lovers home and tell hubby to pay for their cabs? How many hubbys do you see fasting and praying for their cheating wives or wearing sexy satin boxers and building six packs so that wifey stops cheating? How many husbands are told to walk on egg shells so they don't arouse the anger of their abusive wives?

2. Bad hubby: I will never advice my enemy to marry a bad rich hubby but if a lady believes all men are bad, then she should please choose a rich one. Like a lot had said, money has wings but character lasts.

I have never prayed for a rich husband. Even when people prayef that I see a rich husband then, I don't say amen. Abeg pray I grow in my career or something more profitable

But that's me.

I never looked for 'potentials'

So on cheating, ladies just tend to be more discrete than men. But they cheat as much as men and truth is that most men brag about cheating as an ego booster.

On your second point. Why would a sane young lady believe all men are bad. Are all men truly bad? No. So if you know that some men are good and decent like your wonderful husband, why would you advice a lady that thinks all men are bad to choose a horrible rich husband. Why not advice her that there are good men out there and she should be patient enough to find one, or more like be a wife material herself so that she can find a good man. To me marrying a horrible guy is the same - whether rich or poor. Some bad guys wouldn't even let the wife enjoy the riches. They will rather spend the money on girlfriends and prostitutes.

Matthewbriggs: I measure potential with 3 yard sticks irrespective of sex.

1. Vision :- Does he have direction, a clear picture of what he expects the future to look like. Does he have a clear understanding his purpose and reason for existence.

2. Dedication to the vision : Is he dedicated to that vision, How well is he able to convert his vision into a workable plan with him taking key steps to achieving that vision. Irrespective of the challenges and difficulties is he putting in the required effort, learning and hard work to seeing that vision is achieved. Is he a fighter Or simply a day dreamer.

4. Track record : Growth is the greatest measurement of potential ... Where was he when you met him 6 months ago and where is he now. Mentally, financially, socially, Is he moving towards the direction of the vision or just stagnant. Because based on his ones track record you can effectively to a greater degree predict one's future

In summary Is his hunger to succeed greater than his fear of failure.

#Matthew Briggs

Excuse me brother! Is your surname "Wisdom" or "Intelligence"?

Broz i swear u just dey make sense wit ur comments jare

Huuuum! Waiter please give this guy a plate of Beans with fried Plantain and Custard. The bill is on me

Trust me when I say some ladies believe all men are bad. I have discussed with some and when Isee it seems like I'm bragging, I keep quiet. I have also been told several times that all men cheat and there are only two types: those that are caught and those that are not. After a while, I leave them.

A neighbor of mine then used to say all men are bad that just choose anyone and I will smile that mummy abc I don't think so.

You can even see some on NL.

Nashville:

So on cheating, ladies just tend to be more discrete than men. But they cheat as much as men and truth is that most men brag about cheating as an ego booster.

On your second point. Why would a sane young lady believe all men are bad. Are all men truly bad? No. So if you know that some men are good and decent like your wonderful husband, why would you advice a lady that thinks all men are bad to choose a horrible rich husband. Why not advice her that there are good men out there and she should be patient enough to find one, or more like be a wife material herself so that she can find a good man. To me marrying a horrible guy is the same - whether rich or poor. Some bad guys wouldn't even let the wife enjoy the riches. They will rather spend the money on girlfriends and prostitutes.

cococandy:
Some guys mistake potential to be plans or dreams. Hence a graduate young man hoping to get a job at Shell while doing some unfulfiling job will think he has potential because he's educated and has big dreams.

Potential is the guy who turns lemon into lemonade.

He's focused and doesn't waste his time regaling the babe with his 'plans' for the future.

He's calculative.
The guy who didn't get a job when he left school but his shop that he started with 200k is worth millions now because he doesn't mind traveling to the north or to Togo to buy goods cheaper and doesn't mind driving a keke napep to deliver his goods to his clients on time. Thereby creating a huge customer base and more success from his little capital.

Potential is not by mouth.
If you're driven,it won't be a secret.

I read this post last year and was so motivated, especially by this comment cococandy made. I sleep and wake up with this comment for the past one year now. I have just graduated - a two time best student, ND and B.Eng. But I never considered it as a potential - waiting for Shell, Exxonmobil job. I now want to invest my last scholarship pay - 250,000naira into starting up a PALM OIL SHOP. The vision is to own a Palm Oil processiong plant both for local need and export in the future. I'll be 30 this year and i've met my fiancee while in the University - hoping to settle down soon. So I thank everyone that contributed to this post. If not this post perhaps what had happened in the narration of the OP would have happened to me.

You're blessed.

Oduok:
I read this post last year and was so motivated, especially by this comment cococandy made. I sleep and wake up with this comment for the past one year now. I have just graduated - a two time best student, ND and B.Eng. But I never considered it as a potential - waiting for Shell, Exxonmobil job. I now want to invest my last scholarship pay - 250,000naira into starting up a PALM OIL SHOP. The vision is to own a Palm Oil processiong plant both for local need and export in the future. I'll be 30 this year and i've met my fiancee while in the University - hoping to settle down soon. So I thank everyone that contributed to this post. If not this post perhaps what had happened in the narration of the OP would have happened to me.

Fvck potential. Get money...sh1t tons of it.

For yourself...

pickabeau1:


In one word are u saying hypergamy is a modern phenomenon

E dey there from Adam.

That woman that seduced the biblical David, for example (King Solomon's mum)

Eve sef for upgrade, follow serpent - if say serpent want am.

Hypergamy is what it is. Same way men tend towards young chics.

cococandy:


You're blessed.

I just read that your post and I'm inspired...

Thank you

keppyy:


I just read that your post and I'm inspired...

Thank you

Awww. Thanks too.

And I can't believe I was attacked for that post. Lol.
Glad to be of help.

Is a guy who has a plan for the future and is working towards it to make that plan a reality.

cococandy:

Awww. Thanks too.
And I can't believe I was attacked for that post. Lol. Glad to be of help.

oh cocobaby see you affecting lives, that's beautiful.

zeb04:


oh cocobaby see you affecting lives, that's beautiful.

I'd even forgotten this post.

I think we all do. Someone once tagged me to thank me for one post since 2012 with my former moniker that really helped him. I didn't even know which post he was referring to.

You would be surprised to know you've helped someone in the past without knowing it.

I've learned many things here.

BuddhaPalm:


E dey there from Adam.

That woman that seduced the biblical David, for example (King Solomon's mum)

Eve sef for upgrade, follow serpent - if say serpent want am.

Hypergamy is what it is. Same way men tend towards young chics.

Correct

pickabeau1:

Correct

check ur mail bros.... long time

flyca:
OP, Personal Experience.

Sometime ago, I started "seeing" one of my sister's old time classmate, an Architect from a Federal University, graduated with a good result and have a Master's degree, and with two year experience too. These were the sketchy details I knew about him before we started dating. So yes!, he has potentials.

Ok. Two months into the r/ship, I noticed this guy was broke, broke with the necessities of basic living. I started becoming worried. I lived in a city two hours from his, but he couldn't afford t-fare (not time) once in a week or two to come and see me. Calls nko?, na me dey call most times. Ok o. I was still on it.

Once, I went to his office see him, by the time I set out by 5pm back to my city, I drank a bottle of coke. Even the taxi fare to the park, he didn't give me. Hmmmmm. No need to say, I was "down". Another day, I went back to his residence to visit him on a Sunday o, I nearly fainted at what I saw. His room in the family house even had a leaky roof

The one that broke the Carmel's back, was the day he asked me to transfer some call credit to his phone. At this time, I had completely lost grip!

So am I a gold-digger? Am I impatient? I'm I unrealistic or simply unreasonable? I leave the answers to you.

As much as having potentials is good, if its not translated into financial ability(lack of better adjectives), there is no need to bring out a lady from her father's house to starve her.

Lol..this ur reply gt me really crackin.well-written dou.anyway,im stl followin