A

No be by force to serve. Make she go collect exemption letter now

D husband must be high on a new species of weed named - plan urself.May God no let us jam enemy of progress 4 road o. Kai, frm 2010 to 2014 na die o. My advice is dat she shd talk to her husband abt registering dia marriage. She shd stop putting d cart b4 d horse. Meaning: marriage certificate shd be b4 any other thing.

Op to get a reasonable response please make your write up clearer


And why is it that most times a story starts like this " a friend of mine is..." the friend in the story happens to be the so called writer of the same said story


Well make I go for now

What advice does she needs again?

She's the architect of her future,so education is important to her,before she opt for marriage?

She can't eat her cake,and have it.

Let her face her marital life,and take exemption letter,and stop whining like a possessed witch.

What does registering a marriage mean

na wa o! is your friend even married? if she has not registered her marriage, she is not married o! i think your friend has bigger problems than NYSC. se na only traditional she do? your friend is looking for trouble.

Not registered their marriage? Ha! All these love-love gooey-eyed indomie people. Five years of marriage and three kids and your marriage is not registered?

Let them go and register their marriage so she can get the certificate and go for Youth Service if that's the issue.

soulglo: What does registering a marriage mean

When you get married in a church whose certificate is not recognized by law or only had traditional marriage you will go to a registry and register it so it becomes recognised by law for legal purposes like Visa and National service.

For the posters friend she is not ready to serve, she is okay having all her needs provided, if she was ready to serve she would have served, I no get time for whinny women

Why can't she be the one to start the procedure of the marriage registration? I was the one who sorted out all our marriage registry details so there is no law that says she can't start the process.If she is truly ready to serve let her quit whining and decide to go with the next batch by kick starting the process of getting the marriage registered.If after she has done the legwork and he decides not to budge ehen we can then crucify him as enemy of progress.

In Life sometimes (most times actually) if you want something done do it yourself.

damiso: Why can't she be the one to start the procedure of the marriage registration? I was the one who sorted out all our marriage registry details so there is no law that says she can't start the process.If she is truly ready to serve let her quit whining and decide to go with the next batch by kick starting the process of getting the marriage registered.If after she has done the legwork and he decides not to budge ehen we can then crucify him as enemy of progress.
In Life sometimes (most times actually) if you want something done do it yourself.

Thank You. They can be very draining, every word that comes out is "My husband will do this" "My husband will get this" "My husband has not done this" "My husband said this"as if without the husband they would be totally helpless and when the load becomes too much for the husband and he starts acting out the say he is now maltreating them.

So many of them, like I said she is not ready to serve, the man probably has to work double to care for the family while she sits home waiting for him to go and register the marriage for 5 years she has failed to organize herself and is now crying and whinning. Like I said she is not ready to serve let her find one corner and whine well.
My husband does not know half the details of the marriage process, I just do it and inform him later then when he is needed to sign he comes and signs and we both work, this one is sitting home waiting for him to go register the marriage or else she wont serve.


She just wants something to emotionally blackmail him with "It is because of you I didnt serve"

Your friend didn't plan her life well and now she's whining.I'm a strong advocate of a woman sorting herself out before jumping into marriage.Finish school and start service and then get married.Marriage certificate is not the ultimate.She never get the certificate sef.

Your friend should take the bull by the horn and start the process of getting her marriage registered.

Five years without a marriage certificate? Didn't it occur to her that she needs that certificate more than the man? Well,she should forget about NYSC and get an exemption letter. I wonder who would take care of her three kids if she is posted far from her home.

aisha2:

Thank You. They can be very draining, every word that comes out is "My husband will do this" "My husband will get this" "My husband has not done this" "My husband said this"as if without the husband they would be totally helpless and when the load becomes too much for the husband and he starts acting out the say he is now maltreating them.

So many of them, like I said she is not ready to serve, the man probably has to work double to care for the family while she sits home waiting for him to go and register the marriage for 5 years she has failed to organize herself and is now crying and whinning. Like I said she is not ready to serve let her find one corner and whine well.
My husband does not know half the details of the marriage process, I just do it and inform him later then when he is needed to sign he comes and signs and we both work, this one is sitting home waiting for him to go register the marriage or else she wont serve.


She just wants something to emotionally blackmail him with "It is because of you I didnt serve"

It can actually be frustrating when you always have to take the initiative for another fully grown adult.

aisha2:

When you get married in a church whose certificate is not recognized by law or only had traditional marriage you will go to a registry and register it so it becomes recognised by law for legal purposes like Visa and National service.

For the posters friend she is not ready to serve, she is okay having all her needs provided, if she was ready to serve she would have served, I no get time for whinny women

So basically she's not married to the man. Smh. She's not a serious person. She has basically reduced herself to a baby mama.

Married for 5 years and the marriage isn't yet registered, chineke Nna! What is really wrong with all these women sef?

The man obviously doesnt give a damn about marriage certificate. The lady herself isnt serious about going for service, cos if she were, it wouldnt have taken her this long. Obviously the man doesnt want her to serve and he keeps giving stewpid excuses and her fish brain continues to buy those excuses.

Left for me, with three kids now, she hould just forget about servive, btw is she still within the age limit?

Traditionally and religiously she may be married but legally she is not

The implication of this is far reaching beyond serving or not serving
God forbid should something happen to the husband and she isnt listed as next of kin or her kids plus if he has no will and unfortnately leaves no will she is on her own as the law cannot offer her any protection.

Let her be there whinning and waiting for him to do everything

Tell your friend to start preparing for batch a. She should go to court, do the necessary stuff then call her hubby to come and sign, if he also refuses she should start saving to get her result and exemption letter or work it to her state of residence if she so want to serve. Its either her hubby is really afraid of the distance thing or is not comfortable with her being empowered. Do you still need to tell her to start making decisions that concerns her happiness herself so that she will not wait for him to look for job for her.

Floodgater: Tell your friend to start preparing for batch a. She should go to court, do the necessary stuff then call her hubby to come and sign, if he also refuses she should start saving to get her result and exemption letter or work it to her state of residence if she so want to serve. Its either her hubby is really afraid of the distance thing or is not comfortable with her being empowered. Do you still need to tell her to start making decisions that concerns her happiness herself so that she will not wait for him to look for job for her.

Let not be quick to blame the husband he simply said she didnt plan well, married women who served from their husbands house help me out do you just get up and go to camp? Aint there documentations you are meant to prepare and sumbit so you could be posted close to your family?

I don't see how a woman who worked hard to earn her degree will be giving this as an excuse for not serving. To serve never hungry am....did she really graduate?

^^dont go there o!
Many r like her.
U see some ladies who suffered to go to school and on marrying while at school will just abandon everything.

Some may hv paper work to sort or failed exam, but will be shifting it till thy kingdom come.
Giving one excuse or the other like this lady.

Unserious modafkers

Hunger never kpai her. She will do the needful.
She never pass d serving age sef(abi football age)

nairalanders una too much ooo, when she read all the comments and some comments made her cry ooo, I asked her why? she said " I have never been a fighter, henceforth I stand strong to make a difference in my life" opsss! thanks all for ur contribution

aisha2:


Let not be quick to blame the husband he simply said she didnt plan well, married women who served from their husbands house help me out do you just get up and go to camp? Aint there documentations you are meant to prepare and sumbit so you could be posted close to your family?

Yes there are documentations you submit earlier in school, then send 2 copies to the NYSC office, Finito.

moca: ^^dont go there o!
Many r like her.
U see some ladies who suffered to go to school and on marrying while at school will just abandon everything.

Some may hv paper work to sort or failed exam, but will be shifting it till thy kingdom come.
Giving one excuse or the other like this lady.

Unserious modafkers

Hunger never kpai her. She will do the needful.
She never pass d serving age sef(abi football age)

That's unfortunate, marriage is no excuse abeg.

STACYM: nairalanders una too much ooo, when she read all the comments and some comments made her cry ooo, I asked her why? she said " I have never been a fighter, henceforth I stand strong to make a difference in my life" opsss! thanks all for ur contribution

Na wa oh, whinning and crying galore. Who is asking her to be a fighter? Abi she wants to sit pretty and let others fight her battles always? Life is not like that oh, she is a mother not a baby enough with the constant crying, I feel sorry for the husband.

I have a feeling this was meant to be a "bash the husband" post, where he would be described as controling, wicked and bla bla bla, thank God Nairaland women saw through this and hence no gender debate, but them no go see this thread oh. Hmmmmm.

Your friend is begining to annoy even me, I can imgaine what the husband puts up with "Have you done this " response "Tears" "Ha ah, why didnt you do this? " response "more tears" always playing the helpless victim waiting on prince charmings rescue.

A few years on if she doesnt sit up she will come and open a post on how her "wicked" husband didnt "allow" her to serve hasnt "allowed" her to work and is maltreating her.

Everybody has tears, its not exclusive to her, no one is asking her to fight we are asking her to DO HER OWN WORK FOR HERSELF

@Aisha a fighter that she used here simply means GO GETTER, cool ur temper people re different, some re strong some people re weak,and try to be strong while others just remain on their comfort zone , she is a wonderful woman anyway, I have known her for years now a good friend to behold

No one can love you as much as you love yourself

If you dont do it, no one will

If she really wants to serve, she knows what to do

My question is does that mean that she hasnt worked at all since her graduation?

I dont understand our women sometimes.

Any opinion one person has, the rest follows sheepishly. If the first respondent had bashed the hubby then they would follow suit. What an interesting section.

STACYM: @Aisha a fighter that she used here simply means GO GETTER, cool ur temper people re different, some re strong some people re weak,and try to be strong while others just remain on their comfort zone , she is a wonderful woman anyway, I have known her for years now a good friend to behold

So If she knows she is not a go getter why the first attempt to blame her husband for her own issues?

Why present the husband like some dictator not allowing her to serve so he can be bashed left, right center here?

aisha2:

Na wa oh, whinning and crying galore. Who is asking her to be a fighter? Abi she wants to sit pretty and let others fight her battles always? Life is not like that oh, she is a mother not a baby enough with the constant crying, I feel sorry for the husband.

I have a feeling this was meant to be a "bash the husband" post, where he would be described as controling, wicked and bla bla bla, thank God Nairaland women saw through this and hence no gender debate, but them no go see this thread oh. Hmmmmm.

Your friend is begining to annoy even me, I can imgaine what the husband puts up with "Have you done this " response "Tears" "Ha ah, why didnt you do this? " response "more tears" always playing the helpless victim waiting on prince charmings rescue.

A few years on if she doesnt sit up she will come and open a post on how her "wicked" husband didnt "allow" her to serve hasnt "allowed" her to work and is maltreating her.

Everybody has tears, its not exclusive to her, no one is asking her to fight we are asking her to DO HER OWN WORK FOR HERSELF

Abeg take it easy on d woman. She no kill person!
@op, she has gotten useful advice here so she should go ahead and sort herself out and inform her hubby when her posting letter is in her hands.
I had this family friend that the husband slyly prevented from working. He told her till they complete their family of 3 children b4 she can work meanwhile that wasn't the agreement ab initio. She agreed grundgily for peace to reign. For the man to release adequate money for housekeep was even with quarrel and insults. Fast foward to when she weaned her last baby@ 2,the hubby started suggesting she becomes a stay at home mum. She just did her homework,applied for a job,went for d interview and got d job. The hubby was threatening fire and brimstone but she was calm.she told the husband no jupiter can make her forfeit the job. She also reported him to her MIL as the man has deep respect for the mum. They kept malice for 2wks. She started work,was doing school runs and got a cleaning lady,after 2 months the man came around and he's now proud of the wife. End of long story! So atimes desperate times need desperate measures

@soonest u re such a darlyn, ur words re really encouraging I am learning as well, nice one .