TV01: Ihe hi, how far?

I read it. You will try NL' patience with the length of your write-up !

I'll say this much.

Hypergamy & the female imperative have to be properly understood and placed in context.

It would be madness for a women to take a husband without a sense of his long-term economic ability to provide for her and her offspring. Think of it in reductionist terms. She's tending the nest and the children, he's making provision. Can she, should she be expected to do both?

My point is about when this desire becomes hyper in women and it is considered above and to the exclusion of other important criteria. And further when they are decietful and manipulative about it.

Hypergamy in it's basic sense is not bad or wrong (marrying up), especially given historical context. It simply makes good sense for a woman to find a man who can give her 1.the best genetic material for her offspring and 2. provide for her & them.

I may touch more on the Female Imperative later.


TV

how do you mean "to give her the best genetic material for her children"

moca: Choose one that compliments u, that's all and work as a team.
Shikena

Yellowpawpaw, how are you

bukatyne:

You do not believe a man & woman is equal?

Ok, then

As far as it works for you

Equality is relative.

miredia: how do you mean "to give her the best genetic material for her children"

Women ideally want the best mates as well as the best providers - why do you thing short, ugly dark brodas are not smiling? !


TV

Buky Buky, I full ground o
I can see u r glowing
Lovely!

I'm preparing for omugwo
I can't wait

miredia: Equality is relative.

Bros, not willing to pursue in order not to derail the thread

Notice my post was close ended.

Ihedinobi2: A man who has made money today can and frequently does lose it tomorrow. And there has never been a guarantee that a history of wealth will be repeated. I personally come from a home replete with examples of that statement. So insisting that a man show that he can provide by what material asset is emergent actually does little to actually guarantee tomorrow's comfort. I have seen it enough: a man has it today, tomorrow his wife is the one who's providing for day-to-day existence. The argument that because he did it once he'll know what to do to fix lost wealth does not account for the lull that gain draws people into. You can say that "achievement is its own worst enemy". The feeling that one has made it is generally why one is paralyzed when one loses "it".

Which is why I say potential and resource at hand are never and can never be the same thing.
Any bloke can get lucky. Make it in a few. Because he happened to be in the right place at a very opportune moment.

moca: Buky Buky, I full ground o
I can see u r glowing
Lovely!

I'm preparing for omugwo
I can't wait

LOL!

Thought the NL tsunami swept you away for good

Be preparing o!

TV01:
Women ideally want the best mates as well as the best providers - why do you thing short, ugly dark brodas are not smiling? !


TV

Are you inferring a desire to have beautiful kids?

bukatyne:

Bros, not willing to pursue in order not to derail the thread

Notice my post was close ended.

fair enough

Hi @ihedinobi2, I really enjoyed your write up! Very interesting POV on this particular subject, it was well thought out, intelligent and very logical. In fact, logic, is the characteristic of a man that I enjoy the most. Now, I may be superstitious, and probably very weak minded to believe in astrology, but I do to an extent. You see, I am a Libran, and by the definition of our astrological sign, we are more balanced in nature. Now, as for astrological predictions and whatnot, I am not a fan at all. I do see, however, a probable logic when it comes to astrological signs and the supposed personalities each sign is said to possess. Now, that can be discussed on another thread; so I won't ponder or show examples on what, at the root of it, is my personal opinion.

However, with that in mind, I will retort with a balanced approach in mind. You see, I believe that when communicating a certain message, one must be mindful on who one is communicating with. Your thread, in my opinion, was meant to be directed to women. Your syntax is where I find that you failed. I believe that you could have communicated the exact same message, but in a different manner as to effectively evoke the attention of those you are trying to preach to. As I said earlier, your message is correct, but presented in a logical manner. Being a man, at a minimal level, I'd expect nothing less; however, you cross me as an intelligent man. Thus, the onus is on you, using the intelligence you most ubiquitously possess, to change the manner in which you convey your message.

The heart of my argument is that men are logical, but women are emotional. Now, that is not to say that men cannot be emotional, and conversely women cannot be logical. That would be illogical (no pun intended ) The fact does remain, as it has been exhaustively studied in both physiological and psychological capacities, us women tend to feel our way out of things, and not think our way.

With this fact in mind, how could you have presented the argument to the intended audience? With emotions, and not logical equations. If I have understood you correctly, for a woman to have her basic and instinctual need of stability and provision met, she should not look to already made men, but rather the stuff that makes a made man, made. There are certain qualities, that if she can just tap into, and reciprocate, she will truly find compatibility with the said fellow.

That leads us to now translate this statement from "man-speak" to "women-speak". Although, I cannot go through all the points that you made, due to time constraints, I will say the following:

Women should find that person whose happiness and self-fulfillment brings them totally honest and unassuming joy and that the same should exist in her partner,

Now that, tugs at the heartstrings of a woman. To find a man, who finds true satisfaction in working hard to be a better man, whether in a material, emotional, spiritual, social or emotional capacity, and that satisfaction brings you true joy. I mean, what more can a woman wish for?

Above all, our heart yearns to be free, at peace, and safe. Someone who enjoys and, dare I say, lives for the moment when your heart obtains that position is a keeper. Someone, who sees the goal you have set in mind, and truly desires to help you obtain them, not for their own good, but to see you smile, is a keeper. That's what a woman should look in a man, because 9/10, a GOOD woman, will reciprocate that feeling a hundred fold, as there is no limit to the depths of a woman's love.

If you are searching for material gain or security only; you are searching to be comforted in a skin deep fashion. If you seek someone whose aspirations and work ethic, give you a sense of pride, belonging and determination; you will always find joy. Why? Because, iron sharpens iron. It's a verse, we often interpret solely on the basis of Christian unions. However, once you understand the beauty that is being the iron to someone else's iron, you will begin to comprehend how couples can be together for decades.

As you said OP, at the base of every man is the need to work. Without working, one simply cannot survive. If you have ever sharpened knives, you see that it takes, strength, energy and durability; in other words, it takes work. We can now translate that to finding a good man, and what it takes to keep that good man. It takes work, on both ends.

A man can only toil towards the benefit of his family for so long unless, he feels that his efforts are not in vain, and appreciated. When a man is validated for his labor by the woman he loves, in words, deeds, loyalty and faithfulness, he is a force to be reckoned with. He will do his best to succeed at all costs. Conversely, when a woman find a man who will make her heart feel safe, and her dreams, goals and aspirations feel valid and possible, she will be cornerstone of her family; steadfast and strong.

This is why, and where we get lost in translation. A woman, has to appeal to part of a man that makes him a man, and a man has to appeal to the part of a woman that her a woman. That is the formula, it really is quite simple. The hard part comes in recognizing the importance in choosing the right quality of iron to sharpen your own. To do that, one must be honest of who they really are. Embrace the iron within you, and then you can search the right type of iron to sharpen you.

lofty900: interpret jor, by the way, where u dey since ?

I just asked him for summary. Dear I dey o. Hope u're good.

ihedinobi2: Is a woman wrong to demand that a man should be able to take care of her? Not quite. At least not until she fails to realize that it goes both ways. A man can make it his duty to care for a woman (in fact, he has a natural imperative to do so) but he needs her faith in him - which is demonstrated not by friendly advice and connections but by a commitment of her resources to the fight to
achieve his dreams such that his failure is her failure and his success every single bit her success as well - to survive and thrive...

Brilliant!

ihedinobi2:
Summary: to choose your man in today's post-post-modern world, get a grip on what your life is about and where you want to end up and find a man who's headed the same way. But you can simply marry money and think that that is a practical move. Time, global recessions, market crashes, wars, terrorism, new industries and whole new economies and innovations, and peacetime will tell just how practical that is.

Hmmm your point is quite fathomable and very true. But with the maximum rate of male liars,pretenders and gold-diggers don't u think the chances and hope of getting that man who's genuinely headed to a likewise direction is quite thin and discouraging?

TV01:
Point. And that is why understanding motives and reasoning is important for one who would marry well. So far example "equal rights" doesn't mean that women will now actively seek to "marry down" like men have done forever. It doesn't mean that they no longer prefer assertive or dominant men - whatever they say to the contrary

I think that I understand you. The issue that I have with the marrying up/down/laterally theory is that it does not necessarily bear out in real life. Nor does it make sense to me existentially. Since we are both Christians I'll use the Bible to explain what I mean.

Isaac was the son of an incredibly wealthy man. Rebecca was not the poor cousin really but I don't think Bethuel was as rich as Abraham came to be in the land of his sojourns. Still, it could be said that Rebecca married up. The same could be said of Ruth and Boaz although this was more of a case of responsibility on the part of Boaz - he was obliged by law to take his relative's widow and preserve the name of his heritage through her as well as shelter her from the pains of widowhood.

Then look at David. He was on the run. He couldn't even afford to carry his family with him. He became a leader of stong men but these men were more likely ruffians and misfits than anything else. He wasn't much as far as material wealth goes. But Abaigail, Nabal's widow, agreed to marry him. Nabal had been stupendously wealthy and if marrying up is a natural female imperative it wouldn't make all that much sense for her to go from wealth to running all over the country to escape the king's assassins.

Let's talk Adam and Eve since we know that the beginning of a matter defines the end of it as well. We could say that God was Adam's dad and Eve was the woman He married for him. Adam was endowed with all the wealth of the earth. Did Eve marry up in that case? Technically, she was also God's child and she had the same inheritance, only this time she inherited everything by inheriting Adam himself.

Ok, finally Christ and His Church. There's this very compelling statement: if we (the Church, His Betrothed) have suffered with Him we will also reign with Him. There is also the place where He said that ye are they that have been with me through my travails. Now, it can be said that He after all had a vast inheritance already but we were just poor sinners languishing in spiritual poverty and He elevated us by giving us His Name. But consider this that He said about the Church: the Kingdom of Heaven is like a man that found a precious pearl in a field and hid it again and went and sold all that he had and bought that field for that singular pearl. Interpretation can make the Christian the man who found Christ (the pearl) or it can reverse it. The reverse works better because it was Christ Who says He came to seek and save.

So, there was inherent value in the Church itself that attracted Christ enough to make Him put everything He had on the line. In other words, the Bride here is, in a manner of speaking, as valuable as all the wealth that the Man has. Somehow, it looks like a lateral marriage more than a vertical. I do understand though that this value the pearl possesses depends heavily on the finder's perspective. However, I think you get my point.

What I'm getting at is this: it is not the natural that has women tending to a position where they have little to lose. It is the bent that came in through sin. Women were built specifically to help men fulfill their function: just like the body serves to help the head carry out its desires and purposes. The head can mean to have a glass lifted off a table and put in the washer but it can't do it itself, so it instructs the hand to do it. It provides the hand with not only a task but all the resources it needs by drawing upon the entire body in a coordinated manner to enable it to fulfill that task and thus satisfy the goal of its existence.

The same way, it is not by natural imperative that a woman looks for a well-to-do man to guarantee her a comfortable life. It is more by natural imperative that she looks for one through whom she can express her usefulness. If marrying up then means that she seeks a man with whom she can combine her incredible ability to execute to accomplish wonderful things then, of course, she marries up. Such a man would still be assertive and dominant every bit like Christ is too with the Church. But if marrying up is marrying better financial positioning, then evidently that is not the expression of true nature.

Those arguments are for the most part a money grab. In fact they are pretty much redundant now. Divorce laws are now such that a woman - with offspring - pretty much cleans up in the event of divorce in the West; regardless of her input.


In some ways it the same special pleading. But whilst it's legally redundant in the West, it's needless for a proper understanding of marriage anywhere. A woman who tends the home and children does not need to validate the importance of her role or strain to demonstrate financial input. Her role, even if it was limited to the hearth & home is just as important.

Yes they are. But even for that they evince something within the woman that wants to lay claim to the fruit of work that a man does. Whether the way they help is by praying or by tending to hearth and home, as you say, she likes to think that she made considerable input in the fruit that a man's work produces.

That's why I say that a woman has something inside her that makes her feel like it is wrong to leave a struggling man merely because she could marry ease right away.

Even the Bible says the younger widows should marry. Who really wants to be alone? We are not meant to be. And marriage is by far the best pair-bonding arrangement for humans and any children.

Yes. I totally, unreservedly agree here. I do not hate that Orpah turned back and headed home. She had done her duty by her dead husband already. However, it can't be denied that Ruth's actions are considered more admirable. Whybis that? Her husband was just as dead. So why did she go on to commit herself to Naomi even when it was bound to be a very uncomfortable situation for her? She was young enough to still snag a well-positioned man for a husband and she was a widow too.

I think the answer still lies in what I have been saying: commitment to something that defined the man rather than the conditions that surrounded the man. Ruth had bought into WHO her husband was so completely that she just ended up thinking of herself as an Israelite. That was why she left with Naomi and ultimately married Boaz.

But those systems are being dismantled and subverted. In some countries - Sweden for example - a woman can have a child and be totally supported by the state. Men are not directly needed. In others, a man can slave for his family and his wife can, on a whim decide she wants out. He is then liable to support her and any kids in the house he purchased.

Marriage is now a poor value proposition for men. Most especially as they can get all the intimacy they want without it. As Christians the imperative is marriage, and intimacy within its confines. Hence the need for us to choose wisely - someone from the Sarah end of the spectrum


We are almost a totally dumbed downed society. Driven by lusts, feelings and sensations. No fear of God or real understanding.


Be wise and be a man. Place high worth on yourself and don't settle for anything less than high value in her. With a biblically renewed mind and HS leading, you'll know when you meet the right one/s


It's a great yardstick. And at a time when women were mostly considered chattel. Truly Christianity emancipated and empowered women. It's why I laugh when our homegrown crypto-feminists cry the bible is patriarchal. It's still less so that our indigenous cultures are till this day.

Not only is the bible way superior to any feminist notions - as it captures human nature perfectly - without the emancipation it granted, feminism wouldn't have been able to get off the ground. Show us feminism in countries without a Judeo-Christian heritage.


TV

I agree. My push now is to assert what I know to be true.

I deliberately refuse to marry someone who is unwilling to get down and dirty with me. I refuse to be with any such person regardless how popular their views are about how a woman should hedge her bets because of the almighty biological clock. If a woman will not buy into who I am and what I'm about I'm well rid of her.

And I have zero interest in living in the West. Those people have problems I don't mean to deal with except remotely. I much prefer to tend to the more practical needs of underdeveloped economies than the existential problems of sophisticated economies.

Indeed, those who insist that the Bible tramples on women are, like their close cousins the atheists, remarkably ignorant about what it says.

moca: Choose one that compliments u, that's all and work as a team.
Shikena

Lol. Way to sum it up. You're right.


Why do you keep reincarnating, YPP?

bukatyne:

You do not believe a man & woman is equal?

Ok, then

As far as it works for you

No I don't. But then I don't think either is superior to the other either.

cococandy:

Which is why I say potential and resource at hand are never and can never be the same thing.
Any bloke can get lucky. Make it in a few. Because he happened to be in the right place at a very opportune moment.

Very true indeed.

@vivalableue, you make sense. I think there is a really good reason that traditionally, women have been the ones to raise young girls and men to raise young boys. I don't find woman-speak, as you call it, all that easy, lol. And I'm also wary of female need to keep everything playful and undemanding. I don't care for that, I find it very annoying and irresponsible.

I may have titled it to attract female attention but I was essentially thinking out loud so I was willing to risk having no takers. I'm a lot like that.

Having said that, I like your translation. I do have reservations though. All the happiness-seeking has produced a lot of trouble in today's world. People are forever looking for a thrill and another shot of adrenaline and becoming more and more stupïd and irresponsible for that. Ask them and they'll tell you it's all just to be happy. I do enjoy.laughing and having fun but life is work. We were put here to govern this earth, to guide it toward a worthy destiny not to romp about eternally like never-aging children with nothing better to do. That's why I made it so cutting and unapologetic. I don't mean to pander to the world's foolishness if I can help it.

miredia: Are you inferring a desire to have beautiful kids?

Why do women mostly desire tall, strong, physically endowed men?

Good genetics does not only mean good looks - although it encompasses that as well.

Just as men prefer youth & beauty - which is a metaphor for fertility - womens preference is as stated above.

We'd all instinctively want the best and what's best for our children. Before and after birth.

TV

LyndaRoyce:
Hmmm your point is quite fathomable and very true. But with the maximum rate of male liars,pretenders and gold-diggers don't u think the chances and hope of getting that man who's genuinely headed to a likewise direction is quite thin and discouraging?

When you consider that men are saying pretty much the same thing about women, you realize that the chances are not all that slim. It's just terrible selfishness killing everybody.

vivalableue: Hi @ihedinobi2, I really enjoyed your write up! Very interesting POV on this particular subject, it was well thought out, intelligent and very logical. In fact, logic, is the characteristic of a man that I enjoy the most. Now, I may be superstitious, and probably very weak minded to believe in astrology, but I do to an extent. You see, I am a Libran, and by the definition of our astrological sign, we are more balanced in nature. Now, as for astrological predictions and whatnot, I am not a fan at all. I do see, however, a probable logic when it comes to astrological signs and the supposed personalities each sign is said to possess. Now, that can be discussed on another thread; so I won't ponder or show examples on what, at the root of it, is my personal opinion.

However, with that in mind, I will retort with a balanced approach in mind. You see, I believe that when communicating a certain message, one must be mindful on who one is communicating with. Your thread, in my opinion, was meant to be directed to women. Your syntax is where I find that you failed. I believe that you could have communicated the exact same message, but in a different manner as to effectively evoke the attention of those you are trying to preach to. As I said earlier, your message is correct, but presented in a logical manner. Being a man, at a minimal level, I'd expect nothing less; however, you cross me as an intelligent man. Thus, the onus is on you, using the intelligence you most ubiquitously possess, to change the manner in which you convey your message.

The heart of my argument is that men are logical, but women are emotional. Now, that is not to say that men cannot be emotional, and conversely women cannot be logical. That would be illogical (no pun intended ) The fact does remain, as it has been exhaustively studied in both physiological and psychological capacities, us women tend to feel our way out of things, and not think our way.

With this fact in mind, how could you have presented the argument to the intended audience? With emotions, and not logical equations. If I have understood you correctly, for a woman to have her basic and instinctual need of stability and provision met, she should not look to already made men, but rather the stuff that makes a made man, made. There are certain qualities, that if she can just tap into, and reciprocate, she will truly find compatibility with the said fellow.

That leads us to now translate this statement from "man-speak" to "women-speak". Although, I cannot go through all the points that you made, due to time constraints, I will say the following:

Women should find that person whose happiness and self-fulfillment brings them totally honest and unassuming joy and that the same should exist in her partner,

Now that, tugs at the heartstrings of a woman. To find a man, who finds true satisfaction in working hard to be a better man, whether in a material, emotional, spiritual, social or emotional capacity, and that satisfaction brings you true joy. I mean, what more can a woman wish for?

Above all, our heart yearns to be free, at peace, and safe. Someone who enjoys and, dare I say, lives for the moment when your heart obtains that position is a keeper. Someone, who sees the goal you have set in mind, and truly desires to help you obtain them, not for their own good, but to see you smile, is a keeper. That's what a woman should look in a man, because 9/10, a GOOD woman, will reciprocate that feeling a hundred fold, as there is no limit to the depths of a woman's love.

If you are searching for material gain or security only; you are searching to be comforted in a skin deep fashion. If you seek someone whose aspirations and work ethic, give you a sense of pride, belonging and determination; you will always find joy. Why? Because, iron sharpens iron. It's a verse, we often interpret solely on the basis of Christian unions. However, once you understand the beauty that is being the iron to someone else's iron, you will begin to comprehend how couples can be together for decades.

As you said OP, at the base of every man is the need to work. Without working, one simply cannot survive. If you have ever sharpened knives, you see that it takes, strength, energy and durability; in other words, it takes work. We can now translate that to finding a good man, and what it takes to keep that good man. It takes work, on both ends.

A man can only toil towards the benefit of his family for so long unless, he feels that his efforts are not in vain, and appreciated. When a man is validated for his labor by the woman he loves, in words, deeds, loyalty and faithfulness, he is a force to be reckoned with. He will do his best to succeed at all costs. Conversely, when a woman find a man who will make her heart feel safe, and her dreams, goals and aspirations feel valid and possible, she will be cornerstone of her family; steadfast and strong.

This is why, and where we get lost in translation. A woman, has to appeal to part of a man that makes him a man, and a man has to appeal to the part of a woman that her a woman. That is the formula, it really is quite simple. The hard part comes in recognizing the importance in choosing the right quality of iron to sharpen your own. To do that, one must be honest of who they really are. Embrace the iron within you, and then you can search the right type of iron to sharpen you.

Excellent rejoinder.

TV

ihedinobi2:
I think that I understand you. The issue that I have with the marrying up/down/laterally theory is that it does not necessarily bear out in real life. Nor does it make sense to me existentially. Since we are both Christians I'll use the Bible to explain what I mean. Indeed, those who insist that the Bible tramples on women are, like their close cousins the atheists, remarkably ignorant about what it says.

Ihe, I totally get and agree with you. But I am not trying to explain how the market should act, I'm explaining how it does. Like I said, it's a spectrum from Sarah to Jezzy, and it's restrraints, from strong or loose. And indeed, a real Sarah doesn't need restraints

ihedinobi2:
What I'm getting at is this: it is not the natural that has women tending to a position where they have little to lose. It is the bent that came in through sin. Women were built specifically to help men fulfill their function: just like the body serves to help the head carry out its desires and purposes. The head can mean to have a glass lifted off a table and put in the washer but it can't do it itself, so it instructs the hand to do it. It provides the hand with not only a task but all the resources it needs by drawing upon the entire body in a coordinated manner to enable it to fulfill that task and thus satisfy the goal of its existence.

The same way, it is not by natural imperative that a woman looks for a well-to-do man to guarantee her a comfortable life. It is more by natural imperative that she looks for one through whom she can express her usefulness. If marrying up then means that she seeks a man with whom she can combine her incredible ability to execute to accomplish wonderful things then, of course, she marries up. Such a man would still be assertive and dominant every bit like Christ is too with the Church. But if marrying up is marrying better financial positioning, then evidently that is not the expression of true nature.Indeed, those who insist that the Bible tramples on women are, like their close cousins the atheists, remarkably ignorant about what it says.

Again, you are absolutely spot on. Hypergamy is evidence of the base/carnal nature

ihedinobi2:
Yes they are. But even for that they evince something within the woman that wants to lay claim to the fruit of work that a man does. Whether the way they help is by praying or by tending to hearth and home, as you say, she likes to think that she made considerable input in the fruit that a man's work produces.

That's why I say that a woman has something inside her that makes her feel like it is wrong to leave a struggling man merely because she could marry ease right away. Indeed, those who insist that the Bible tramples on women are, like their close cousins the atheists, remarkably ignorant about what it says.

Not if she is on the wrong side of the spectrum. And not just individuals, but the whole of society tends that way these days.

ihedinobi2:
I agree. My push now is to assert what I know to be true.

I deliberately refuse to marry someone who is unwilling to get down and dirty with me. I refuse to be with any such person regardless how popular their views are about how a woman should hedge her bets because of the almighty biological clock. If a woman will not buy into who I am and what I'm about I'm well rid of her.

I think for you personally this is key. High virtue, high ideals. If you have an attraction for any that are not such. Kill it. Dead!

ihedinobi2:
And I have zero interest in living in the West. Those people have problems I don't mean to deal with except remotely. I much prefer to tend to the more practical needs of underdeveloped economies than the existential problems of sophisticated economies. .

We deal with the situation on ground bro'. God be with us.

ihedinobi2: Indeed, those who insist that the Bible tramples on women are, like their close cousins the atheists, remarkably ignorant about what it says.

In truth there are mostly one and the same.


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ihedinobi2: @vivalableue, you make sense. I think there is a really good reason that traditionally, women have beenusually to St e ones to raise young girls and men to raise young boys. I don't find woman-speak, as you call it, all that easy, lol. And I'm also wary of female need to keep everything playful and undemanding. I don't care for that, I find it very annoying and irresponsible.

I may have titled it to attract female attention but I was essentially thinking out loud so I was willing to risk having no takers. I'm a lot like that.

Having said that, I like your translation. I do have reservations though. All the happiness-seeking has produced a lot of trouble in today's world. People are forever looking for a thrill and another shot of adrenaline and becoming more and more stupïd and irresponsible for that. Ask them and they'll tell you it's all just to be happy. I do enjoy.laughing and having fun but life is work. We were put here to govern this earth, to guide it toward a worthy destiny not to romp about eternally like never-aging children with nothing better to do. That's why I made it so cutting and unapologetic. I don't mean to pander to the world's foolishness if I can help it.

Yes, I do agree with you when you say that emotion seeking has taken over the world. It leads people to irresponsible behavior, usually to dire consequences.

Keep this in mind, I associated the emotions, not just happiness but I mentioned pride, determination, belonging and joy to a particular action. That action being hard work and drive to better oneself in any capacity and being satisfied with the process.

I purposely attached action with emotion because it appeals to the inner workings of both sexess.

Although emotions on their own are incomplete, they still make up the fabric of our humanity. In fact, I will leave with this point:

One never expects a woman to marry simply based on the logical potential of a man because it is unladylike. It is a deeply emotional decision nonetheless.

I'll try to remain PG, but if you consider the act of love making, a man penetrates the woman. She has to be the one to open herself to receive him. And if she doesn't feel safe and loved, the act will be quite mechanical and only for physical enjoyment. If a woman loves you, enough to leave her family and marry you, because of the strength and strong will you have shown her over and over again. You have inspired her to be the best woman she can be, and her reaction to your work pushes you to do so even more. Then the love making becomes more than that, you will truly cleave to your wife and become one flesh.

It's the combination of both energies, it's the beauty of God's plan, for a man and his wife.

moca: Buky Buky, I full ground o
I can see u r glowing
Lovely!

I'm preparing for omugwo
I can't wait

YPP, so that is you. Why una dey change moniker now? Family section has been less exciting without YPP. Now I don know.

Bukatyne, you didn't tell me about the twins!

TV01:
Ihe, I totally get and agree with you. But I am not trying to explain how the market should act, I'm explaining how it does. Like I said,it's a spectum from Sarah to Jezzy, and it's restrraints, from strong or loose. And indeed, a real Sarah doesn't need restraints


Again, you are absolutely spot on. Hypergamy is evidence of the base/carnal nature


Not if she is on the wrong side of the spectrum. And not just individuals, but the whole of society tends that way these days.


I think for you personally this is key. High virtue, high ideals. If you have an attraction for any that are not such. Kill it. Dead!


We deal withthe situation on ground bro'. God be with us.


In truth there are mostly one and the same.


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Thanks bro. I'm at peace now thyat I understand you. It is necessary to see both how things ought to be and how they indeed are. I'm enormously grateful for the compensating viewpoint you have given me.

And you're right about the feminists and atheists. I've noticed that too

vivalableue:


Yes, I do agree with you when you say that emotion seeking has taken over the world. It leads people to irresponsible behavior, usually to dire consequences.

Keep this in mind, I associated the emotions, not just happiness but I mentioned pride, determination, belonging and joy to a particular action. That action being hard work and drive to better oneself in any capacity and being satisfied with the process.

I purposely attached action with emotion because it appeals to the inner workings of both sexess.

Although emotions on their own are incomplete, they still make up the fabric of our humanity. In fact, I will leave with this point:

One never expects a woman to marry simply based on the logical potential of a man because it is unladylike. It is a deeply emotional decision nonetheless.

I'll try to remain PG, but if you consider the act of love making, a man penetrates the woman. She has to be the one to open herself to receive him. And if she doesn't feel safe and loved, the act will be quite mechanical and only for physical enjoyment. If a woman loves you, enough to leave her family and marry you, because of the strength and strong will you have shown her over and over again. You have inspired her to be the best woman she can be, and her reaction to your work pushes you to do so even more. Then the love making becomes more than that, you will truly cleave to your wife and become one flesh.

It's the combination of both energies, it's the beauty of God's plan, for a man and his wife.

I already liked your mind from reading that first post. You've only made me like it more.

I do agree with you. Reservations that I have right now are nothing to do with your views. They are more to do with my experience.

Women have to feel safe and loved, you say. I agree that you do. But I have seen women claiming such a feeling in places that third parties have looked with them and wondered what was wrong with them. What do you say to that?

ihedinobi2:
I already liked your mind from reading that first post. You've only made me like it more.

I do agree with you. Reservations that I have right now are nothing to do with your views. They are more to do with my experience.

Women have to feel safe and loved, you say. I agree that you do. But I have seen women claiming such a feeling in places that third parties have looked with them and wondered what was wrong with them. What do you say to that?

I can say, that coming from my own experience that this usually has to do with her environment, and more often than not being taught the wrong principles from those around her.

I firmly believe in being responsible for one's own actions, and we are all to some extent taught the right and wrong things to do. Therefore, when we make the wrong decisions, we must be ready to accept the consequence. The problem is that when someone is taught through either direct teacher or the wrong environment that bad is good and good is bad.

I'll give you one hypothetical and very real example (from a family I know of very dearly). The woman has a husband who constantly beats her, he's a hard worker, but when he's mad he lashes out on his wife. She works hard, in fact owns a successful business, and when he was in time of need, helped to cover the bills and family expenses. In fact, when he decided to change career, and in turn move to another part of the country, she covered the moving cost and put up the down payment for the new house. So you can say that she was very supportive of her man's decisions. The family has 3 sons and 1 daughter. What the children see is that when Daddy needs money, he is in a bad mood, and lashes out on Mum until she relents and gives money to help him out. Other than that, they are good parents, they teach the kids right from wrong, good morals, hard work discipline and the other tenets of being a good man and woman. Expect, they know that when Daddy needs money, mommy better pay. Mommy, at times, pulls daughter aside and begins to teach daughter that she needs to find a certain kind of guy, like daddy but not as violent. Daughter sees mums tears, and gets confused. She determines within herself to never be in the position that mommy is in; under the thumb of a seemingly kind but ruthless tyrant called Daddy. She gets to the age where she begins to date guys, and although she has the right stuff, like humility, passion, discipline and others, the seed of something else begins to grow. She starts to demand more from men, and not tolerate being in a give and take relationship, she starts to ask for money straight up. She begins to accept no love, on the condition of being taken care of. She starts to do "runs" and develops a rather tumultuous relationship with a certain rugged guy. I can continue, but I think you see where my story is headed.

We can point to several reasons why this girl, who was taught the right things, has become a wayward, and materialistic woman. We can say that she was exposed to violence and abuse, that because of that she lost respect for her parents. This lack of respect translated to a lack of respect for men, stemming from her daddy issues, and herself, stemming from her mummy issues. We can say that she was taught the wrong way to handle and view money as her parents demonstrated irresponsible behavior in that regard. We can say a lot of things, and I can say that the answer to your question boils down to a lot of things as well.

Everyone has a past, in fact it is apart of the human experience. We all react and learn from the same experience in different ways. We can only pray that true healing come to these individuals, and that they learn from others mistakes, and not repeat them. When it comes to how others act, we can only advise as best as we can... the one who does the real fixing is the Almighty!

@vivalableue, I don't think I can argue with that. Still, I think we are both agreed that however emotional women are as a definition, there is a place for "logical" choices. A woman has to learn to make the right emotional associations for her emotional responses to mean jack.

Space things.

Nashville:

YPP, so that is you. Why una dey change moniker now? Family section has been less exciting without YPP. Now I don know.

Bukatyne, you didn't tell me about the twins!

I will kill bukatyne for this any time I see her!
My bro, I catch my fun this way.
Hope family is well and kicking?

Don't mind buky, I don full ground for her. My omugwo things r ready

moca:

I will kill bukatyne for this any time I see her!
My bro, I catch my fun this way.
Hope family is well and kicking?

Don't mind buky, I don full ground for her. My omugwo things r ready

Familt dey o my sister. How your people? Hope all is well.

Bukky no tell me about the twins o.