Wat will u do when a divorced man over 20years older than u pressurizes you for marriage

Mature responsible answers pls

Accept and save ur self the pressure

I think 20 years age difference is too much, secondly, i don't think you should allow anyone pressure you into marriage, its a life time commitment, look before you leap.

Op what is wrong with you? Are you sure you are ok upstairs? With all sincerity I don't want to insult someone before going to bed so I'll Just leave this thread.
When you are not lame, even lame ppl get good suitors. Mtcheeeeewwww

1st how old re u?do u wana accept coz he is pressuring u or coz u wana spend the rest of your life with him?
If he is serious,honest and truly loves u,and u know your parents will accept den no biggie.bt search deeply sha,also if u can cope with the pressure,backbiting and tales that would be running in d society that's if ur in Nigeria sha Eg your marrying him because of money.you know how ppl think?

Why would you consider such proposal? abi age is not on your side? difference IMO should be maximum of ten years between the man and the woman, you wan become widow quick?
btw what ended his first marriage?

You know what you want to do,you just want us to give you a good reason to do it.

Safe journey.

age is just a number

20 years difference is like marrying your daddy's age mate, do you know why he is divorced?

The age gap is too much. He wants one that will be younger... Whom he will enjoy and everything will go well for him.

What about you? Are u planning for a life where the husband will be sending ur kids to school using his pension?

Think twice!

What ended his first marriage and are there children from the union? l think 20yrs is way too much, it is like being married to a fatherly figure though there are cases where such marriage has worked but we are all different.

If you are 55 and he is 75, then it may be OK

But if you are 20 and he is 40, then its not

I would have liked to write an epistle to justify my position, but I will leave that for someone else to break down

Also the cause of the divorce is also very important so you dont end up chopping the left over cane that the first wife chopped

As for pressure, no one should pressure you into what may well end up be a prison. You need to walk into a marriage under your own free will after considering it all very carefully.

Aceptar

Good and fulfilling marriage is not measured by age. Choosing a life partner should be based on the ability to live with a partner lovingly, peacefully and respectively till DEATH do them part.

IF children should be involved, that's cool as both of you should work towards it. YES, it is good to have and train children at any earlier age but it isn't a guarantee that they will be successful in what the do. THE DESTINY of a child had little or no influence from their parents and secondly the idea of my child would be this age and my partner is already this age is not only inconceivable but also delusional. No one has ever taken his/her children to the grave. We all pray our children to live after US.

Statistics has shown that children who were left to struggle on their own became more successful than children who were direct beneficiary of parental obligations. My point is, if you'd love the man and think you can have a fulfilling marriage with him, give it your all.

I didn't write to be insulted but to be adviced pproperly im in my mid twenties and he is 45 I love him but im scared his been married b4 in church I want to knw if its ok I can marry a divorced guy his wife was cut cheating dat is y he divorced her

You do realise if he had gotten his gf preggy at 20, you could be the same age with his first child? Do you think you are matured enough to handle being a stepmum to his kids? Have you taken into consideration that at a point in his life he might want his kids to move in with you guys? What does your family have to say about yr r/ship with him? Do you want this marriage becos you feel this is the best person for you or becos of pressure from him? Do you feel uncomfortable when with him in public becos of the age diff? How does he treat you, like a kid or a partner who needs his experience and guidance as a stepping stone? Does he allow you make any decisions that would involve the both of you and trust your judgement? There are a million and one questions, pls set your emotions aside and critically analyse yr r/ship. If at the end of the day you are satisfied and happy where you are, then by all means go ahead.

Pressure should make you run.

qizick: I didn't write to be insulted but to be adviced pproperly im in my mid twenties and he is 45 I love him but im scared his been married b4 in church I want to knw if its ok I can marry a divorced guy his wife was cut cheating dat is y he divorced her

You are 25; he is 45 and divorced

Have you lost hope? Are things that bad?

I am sure you want kids with him; say you marry him, @47, he will have your first child with him. When the child is in sec sch, he is past his prime. Does he have processes in place to ensure the kids can survive if he passes on/retires?


When you are 40 hitting your prime, he is past his. Do you think the se.x will be same? companionship? etc.

You say pressure: from him? family? colleagues?

Did he tell you his wife cheated or you found out? Do you know the wife?

He told me his wife cheated he respects me and my opinion he has one dadaughter 8 years old I hv tot of all these thanks alot I dont knw how to tell him off

qizick: I didn't write to be insulted but to be adviced pproperly im in my mid twenties and he is 45 I love him but im scared his been married b4 in church I want to knw if its ok I can marry a divorced guy his wife was cut cheating dat is y he divorced her

Do yourself a favour and do your homework very well

Its always the other persons fault . . no one is going to blame themselves for a divorce.

I am not completely ruling out the fact that his wife might have been the cause of the divorce, but dont swallow everything, but be wise, put your ear to the ground and know the man that you are dealing with.

bukatyne:

You are 25; he is 45 and divorced

Have you lost hope? Are things that bad?

I am sure you want kids with him; say you marry him, @47, he will have your first child with him. When the child is in sec sch, he is past his prime. Does he have processes in place to ensure the kids can survive if he passes on/retires?


When you are 40 hitting your prime, he is past his. Do you think the se.x will be same? companionship? etc.

You say pressure: from him? family? colleagues?

Did he tell you his wife cheated or you found out? Do you know the wife?

I have not told anyone yet non of my fiends or family knw abt it I need critical advise without centiment dats y I brought it up here

Been here before. In my case dude was 15years older, divorced and no kids ( well that was what I was told.) According to him, it was his ex wife who caused the breakup, but I didn't allow likeness cloud my judgement.

As I got to know him, I actually found myself emphatizing with the ex wife and I just couldn't see myself dating him even though I liked him. So I walked.

Before you jump into anything, please keep love and feelings aside and apply some logic.

Qizick you know very well that the pressure you talked about doesn't exist
You have seen some material gains,hence the interest
Probably he is comfortable so you prefer to stick your arse there
So no young guy around
If anyone was persuading you to become a boko haram member,would you have opened a thread or better still run away
Well do your home work properly sha

some responses are just cracking me up.

You deserve better,20 years is way too much of an age difference,there's going to be clashes of interest a lot of times, be wise.

If you've got no other choice, marry him


Its better than marrying some younger than you.

Was told once about a woman who was complaining that her 70+ husband cant do it any more and she is wishing he dies so she can move on, she is the man's second wife and she is probably 30 years younger. And I ask myself, if she didnt think about it when she was marrying him?

qizick: Wat will u do when a divorced man over 20years older than u pressurizes you for marriage

He must be rich for you to even consider marrying your dad's age mate.

Can you afford to let your meal ticket slip past your hands? Better grab him before the girl next door does. Rich daddies are hard to come by these days...

qizick: He told me his wife cheated he respects me and my opinion he has one dadaughter 8 years old I hv tot of all these thanks alot I dont knw how to tell him off

Just tell him you are too young for a second hand man, shikena. Chances are, he lied about the wife cheating thing, do your research well. 25 is to young to settle for okrikaoooo!!

Marriage is not something you rush into,take your time. Its obvious he is not what you need,make him know that asap.

Aside money whats the attraction to him?