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Help And Save Her Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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Help And Save Her Marriage by Austindumas1(m): 9:18am On Sep 08, 2014
I have been married for 3 years plus and I am at a
point where I resent my husband and his
presence irritates me.
This is an aftermath of abandonment when I was
pregnant 4 months into the marriage and his
repeated infidelity to the point he got someone
pregnant.
I can not just bring myself to trust him and I
always see an ulterior motive in all his actions.
At this point in my marriage I feel like throwing in
the towel because I don't love him and care less
what he is up to.
I am most happiest when I spend time with my
son or when I am at work, but in his company I
am aggravated.
I need advice, because I am very close to calling
it quits and I know if and when I do he will not
stop me from going and that seems to fuel the
desire in me to end the marriage
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Nobody: 9:29am On Sep 08, 2014
This your story is incomplete.
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Austindumas1(m): 9:33am On Sep 08, 2014
how
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by hushmail: 9:45am On Sep 08, 2014
Elantracey: This your story is incomplete.

d story complete abeg

gve advise if u have any
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Nobody: 9:52am On Sep 08, 2014
hushmail:

d story complete abeg

gve advise if u have any


why would someone just dislike her husband just 4 years after marriage for no reason its incomplete joor.
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by ammyluv2002(f): 9:54am On Sep 08, 2014
Elantracey:


why would someone just dislike her husband just 4 years after marriage for no reason its incomplete joor.
Nne, read the post again

2 Likes

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Austindumas1(m): 9:57am On Sep 08, 2014
Elantracey:


why would someone just dislike her husband just 4 years after marriage for no reason its incomplete joor.

hey sis reading is fundamental, she clearly stated her reasons for the hatred...
her husband abandoned her and went after other babes when she was just four months gone, he even went to the length of getting some girl pregnant, isn't that enough reason?

3 Likes

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by thorpido(m): 10:23am On Sep 08, 2014
You have every right to feel the way you do.Trust if lost takes time to build again.
Have you sought avenues to make your husband change?From your post it seems as if he is unrepentant.

HIV and veneral diseases are real.For your sake and the sake of your child,you'll do well to keep yourself safe from your husband infecting you.

Move on with your life if the situation cannot get better.

I wish to know how your courtship was however.Was he this way before marriage?

2 Likes

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Nobody: 10:50am On Sep 08, 2014
Half your problem solved for acknowledging your problem,next thing is,opt for divorce and continue living you happy life and leave the melo drama of marriage,marriage isn't a do or die affair,its about your life,you decision and your happiness.

2 Likes

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by smokescreen4: 11:37am On Sep 08, 2014
I will and can never love a man who cheats on me, the truth is I would wish something bad happens to him . It's good op keeps herself busy with other things dat makes her happy.

1 Like

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by vickson64(m): 1:02pm On Sep 08, 2014
Hello friend, if all u just narrated is all that there is, i will like to advice you in tbe following way:
First u must acknowledge the truth that u married this man not cos u love him but because u felt he was the only one proposing marriage, so u had to lower ur standards and marry him. (Never be in a hurry to marry to the extent of marrying the wrong man) 100 wrong bf and one right husband is better than let me just be married cos who i love is not yet ready.
That being said, u have to forgive him for what he has done to u and forgive urself as well. Also u need to accept the fact that for a marriage to work, a woman has to do 80% of the work. These are hard truths, but the sooner u accept it, the better for ur family.
A broken home is never good for any child, so if ur child means d world to u as u just stated, then stay, forgive him and learn to love him again. He must not deserve ur love but u need to love him all the same.
Pray for him and always bless him. Speak positive words about ur marriage and picture a blissful marriage life and in d long run, u will live in d picture u see.
Provided he does not lay hands on u, u are alright. I know u are bitter now, but dont allow people advice u to leave ur husband's house.
See the good man u want him to be. Ignore his current flaws.

1 Like

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by usermane(m): 2:25pm On Sep 08, 2014
Why not sit and discuss with him or the family?
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Nobody: 2:32pm On Sep 08, 2014
Nne, sorry. E don happen.

There was a place in the Bible that had this sentence, "...and there was no saving Abel..."

Substituting that here, "There is no saving your marriage."

Sorry.

BTW what did you do that made him seek comfort between the thighs of another woman?
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Amopeekun(f): 3:42pm On Sep 08, 2014
I feel your pain o but look at it from here:
Did you marry him for the wrong reasons?
How well did you 'know' him before the marriage?
Were there warning signs?
Just as pDude asked," what did you do that made him seek comfort between the thighs of another woman?"
Please think deep. It is not right for whatever reason for a partner to cheat but if you contributed to it, you also need to make amends. Please stop hating him, you are only cheating yourself. When your heart is filled with love, you are happier. Do a lot of activities that give you joy. Be nice to him. It is not going to be easy but you have to try for your child's sake. Do not just pack and go. Do your best to make it work, well except you married him for the wrong reasons.
Lastly, pray for wisdom. You need it.
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by shizzleStar: 4:19pm On Sep 08, 2014
Austindumas1:

hey sis reading is fundamental, she clearly stated her reasons for the hatred...
her husband abandoned her and went after other babes when she was just four months gone, he even went to the length of getting some girl pregnant, isn't that enough reason?
Is this a story of someone you know? cos this seem very much like a copy and paste from some online source/news media and in this case, the affected person is oblivious of the contributions here. Anyway my point is, always acknowledge its someones story if it is.
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by shizzleStar: 4:24pm On Sep 08, 2014
Its obvious the trust, happiness and harmony in this marriage can hardly be redeemed, since the wife is so disenchanted with the husband even the sight of him alone obviously pisses her off. The likely option at this point is seperation first, she needs some time off to put her thoughts together
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by sayoberry(f): 11:29pm On Sep 08, 2014
.
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by raumdeuter: 12:44am On Sep 09, 2014
You hate him now, You are happier when alone or away from him

Then what else do you want?

Go ahead and do the divorce

1 Like

Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by Nobody: 10:58pm On Sep 09, 2014
Austindumas1:

hey sis reading is fundamental, she clearly stated her reasons for the hatred...
her husband abandoned her and went after other babes when she was just four months gone, he even went to the length of getting some girl pregnant, isn't that enough reason?
oh i think i missed that part you must have gotten the advice you needed by now
Re: Help And Save Her Marriage by izaray(f): 12:20pm On Sep 10, 2014
thorpido: You have every right to feel the way you do.Trust if lost takes time to build again.
Have you sought avenues to make your husband change?From your post it seems as if he is unrepentant.

HIV and veneral diseases are real.For your sake and the sake of your child,you'll do well to keep yourself safe from your husband infecting you.

Move on with your life if the situation cannot get better.

I wish to know how your courtship was however.Was he this way before marriage?
It will be more better, if u go on wit ur life, now dat is not too late, cos some men dnt even deserve to be called married men! Cos life is to sweet and short, to let anytin boda u jare.

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