Am really confused, actually my dad was a very fun man, like going on tour and left the family to suffer, my mum used everything in her reach to send me to school, now I am a banker, but mum never want me to look my dad side even for once, she said she will dislike me if I give my dad a penny. Am really confused..what do I do?

ayomidegambari: Am really confused, actually my dad was a very fun man, like going on tour and left the family to suffer, my mum used everything in her reach to send me to school, now I am a banker, but mum never want me to look my dad side even for once, she said she will dislike me if I give my dad a penny. Am really confused..what do I do?

A tricky situation, indeed.

One's got to feel for your mum, and all she's gone through to care for you.

But SHE NEEDS TO FORGIVE HIM! Then, and only then, can she be free...

That being said, whatever issues your parents have is theirs and theirs alone.

They can't make you suffer for their past mistakes.

It may sound unkind, but YOU NEED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.

And if BONDING with your dad will make you happy, then by all means GO FOR IT.

Use your discretion.

ayomidegambari: Am really confused, actually my dad was a very fun man, like going on tour and left the family to suffer, my mum used everything in her reach to send me to school, now I am a banker, but mum never want me to look my dad side even for once, she said she will dislike me if I give my dad a penny. Am really confused..what do I do?

If you don't tell her she wouldn't know,it was his speerm that made u no matter what.just appreciate him and do it for god,also see it as a lesson.

Don't partake with the annoying grudges. Just follow your heart. Dad or not help those in need especially the ones you Love.

U should do it because its your responsibility as his child and not because he cared or not. Do the little u can and leave him for his maker to judge. From same xperience

Oh please... You shouldn't bring this here. Oh my! Sighs!

Do you have a relationship with your dad
why does your dad need your jhelp now

ayomidegambari: Am really confused, actually my dad was a very fun man, like going on tour and left the family to suffer, my mum used everything in her reach to send me to school, now I am a banker, but mum never want me to look my dad side even for once, she said she will dislike me if I give my dad a penny. Am really confused..what do I do?

Op,you have your discretion to forgive. The same thing happened to me. We were abandoned for 19yrs. We went through hell. Now Ali is a man. When I was about to marry,I realised he has a role to play as a father. All I had to do was to forgive him before he asked for forgiveness, and looked for him to take his place on my day of wedding as a father of the groom.
Yes,he offended you but you just have to forgive him to have peace within you. You are the only one that can talk to your mum to forgive him.

Mom knows best

They run away and remember they have kids when the kids are full grown.
When all the work has been done
When the suffering and sowing is over.
Show up during reaping season.


Well Op follow your heart.

Always remember that Joseph wouldn't ve become a king in Egypt but not for his brothers betrayal, I. Know ur Mum is still pained it's ur duty to make Her realize that there's nothing in this world that happen by chance, she suffered yes but it all Over now, yesterday is gone Care for ur Dad today U may be sending a Message to one Irresponsible Man out there.

Forgiving such a man is not easy but God's grace gives us the strength to do so.

U ve d blood of ur dad flowing in ur blood vessels. If u can't forgive ur own blood who can u forgive if ur mum is a christian read d story of d prodigal son in d bible to her she ll forgive ur father in tears.
Forgive ur father as soon as possible n start caring for him where u can even if it means living apart.

That is your choice!

God in heaven will not forgive u if u don't take care of him COs on earth they are our GODS....my parents separated wen i was 6months,my dad took me in but today i give them d same amount of money COs God will be my rewarder......goodluck

Lacomus: Always remember that Joseph wouldn't ve become a king in Egypt but not for his brothers betrayal, I. Know ur Mum is still pained it's ur duty to make Her realize that there's nothing in this world that happen by chance, she suffered yes but it all Over now, yesterday is gone Care for ur Dad today U may be sending a Message to one Irresponsible Man out there.

What message?

That they will be rewarded for the abandonment of their kids?

Just asking.

carefreewannabe:

What message?

That they will be rewarded for the abandonment of their kids?

Just asking.

that the child u abandon today may be of help tomorrow, do u think he won't feel a shame when he takes anything frm u ?

Your mother's relationship should be different from your relationship with your dad.Your mother is hurting, hence her instruction.
Do you have a relationship with your dad?The choice of giving him gifts will depend on your heart of forgiveness.
Follow your heart but be discreet.Your mum won't take it lightly.

They have said it all, nothing to say anymore #Don'tthinkibookedspace

Lacomus: that the child u abandon today may be of help tomorrow, do u think he won't feel a shame when he takes anything frm u ?

How would seeing his face make me any happier?

@ayomidegambari

Did you ask your father why he abandoned you?

carefreewannabe:

How would seeing his face make me any happier?

@ayomidegambari

Did you ask your father why he abandoned you?

no good reason bt am happy his absence has made me stronger

Abeg forget that man, heart like yours is why they keep abandoning with the hope that you will come looking for them to play son when you are made. Abandon those that abandon you, shikena.

Lacomus: no good reason bt am happy his absence has made me stronger

I didn't ask him coz I know he doesn't have a tangible reason

Bro,you old enough to make decision.

And secondly,must you tell her if you did something for him?

Don't allow them drag you to their own life,you have got your life to live.

ayomidegambari: Am really confused, actually my dad was a very fun man, like going on tour and left the family to suffer, my mum used everything in her reach to send me to school, now I am a banker, but mum never want me to look my dad side even for once, she said she will dislike me if I give my dad a penny. Am really confused..what do I do?

I don't blame you op. I blame the woman that sacrificed everything within her reach to give you life. If she had abandoned you like your dad did, you won't be here asking this silly question. She should have equally abandoned you people and enjoyed her life like your dad so that finally everybody gets to reap where they didn't sow na.
To those telling him to forgive & talking about prodigal son bla bla bla, where did you read that the father has asked for forgiveness? If the man wants forgiveness, he can lay his apparent useless ego aside and start with the mom & not going to the so called banker abi him no born another pikin for where he waka go?

You see a Fun loving man, I see a gold digger

ogawisdom: U ve d blood of ur dad flowing in ur blood vessels. If u can't forgive ur own blood who can u forgive if ur mum is a christian read d story of d prodigal son in d bible to her she ll forgive ur father in tears.
Forgive ur father as soon as possible n start caring for him where u can even if it means living apart.

Though I didn't read that the father apologized to his family, After reading about the prodigal son, I also read Gal 6:7 ' Be not deceived, God is not mocked, whatever a man Soweth he shall reap' Why can't the man go n reap where he sowed na, is that too much to ask?

Rose2014:

I don't blame you op. I blame the woman that sacrificed everything within her reach to give you life. If she had abandoned you like your dad did, you won't be here asking this silly question. She should have equally abandoned you people and enjoyed her life like your dad so that finally everybody gets to reap where they didn't sow na.
To those telling him to forgive & talking about prodigal son bla bla bla, where did you read that the father has asked for forgiveness? If the man wants forgiveness, he can lay his apparent useless ego aside and start with the mom & not going to the so called banker abi him no born another pikin for where he waka go?

You see a Fun loving man, I see a gold digger

I won't blame you, that's your own opinion tho, but where did I made mention of dad asking for forgiveness in my write up? Tnx anyway

ayomidegambari: I won't blame you, that's your own opinion tho, but where did I made mention of dad asking for forgiveness in my write up? Tnx anyway

Op, he's your father so follow your heart, I have a neighbor who happens to be the only son of his father, the father left the mother and married another woman and his mother married another man too but died shortly after, so they took him to his father who rejected him, he said he begged the father as a young boy for him to forgive him the man refused ,, years later the father is depending on him for survival, he told me that if his father is demanding too much from him, he will have a rethink but still give to the father and the stepmother.

Same thing happened to me, he abandoned his 5children and while my Mum sacrificed everything to provide for us he was enjoying his life with different women and alcohol. As they always do he came back when he was old and broke, we gave him the very basics I.e rent for a very modest apartment in a modest neighbor hood and basic feeding allowance. I would never buy him a car or a ticket, those are luxuries that he doesn't deserve. The person who did the work deserves the best and it would be unfair to give them the same. Remember that in the story of the prodigal son the father took in him and gave him food but all his fortune were to be left for the faithful soon. One must reward faithfulness otherwise that is the type of thing that makes all these irresponsible men feel it's no big deal. They are wicked and they know that after the woman had sacrificed her life for the children they will turn up and beg for forgiveness. How come they never come and beg while the children still need them financially? They only realize their mistake when the children are financially secure? Gold diggers .

OP , give him the most basic things but you owe him no extras. Pamper your Mum extra and give her all the luxuries you can afford so she'll know you appreciate the sacrifices she made

Pls give him wat wateva u feel ur mind wants. See, d fact dt he is even want u to give him ur hardearned and u r givin him in forms ofd gifts or cash , it is a curse he is placing onhimslf. dt is wat yoruba calls" ounje omo toh n koro lenu obi".as 4 ur mum ,she is still pained so u can bear with her n also she m ight see wat u don't see and knw things u don't knw afterallna her husband.

Rose2014:

I don't blame you op. I blame the woman that sacrificed everything within her reach to give you life. If she had abandoned you like your dad did, you won't be here asking this silly question. She should have equally abandoned you people and enjoyed her life like your dad so that finally everybody gets to reap where they didn't sow na.
To those telling him to forgive & talking about prodigal son bla bla bla, where did you read that the father has asked for forgiveness? If the man wants forgiveness, he can lay his apparent useless ego aside and start with the mom & not going to the so called banker abi him no born another pikin for where he waka go?

You see a Fun loving man, I see a gold digger

tnk u very much,

so on point.

there is difference between repentance and opportunism. if he didn't repent until the kids made it, he's not repentant. only coming to steal what he did not work for.
if the son was poor and struggling,would he come for forgiveness or even offer assistance if he can?