Funbii: My younger ones wouldn't behave themselves, they won't stop pinching, squealing or shrieking unless I promise to give them money or buy them goodies... I make sure I "settle" them whenever we got visitor(s) so as to avoid embarrassment.

Last night one of them went to my mom to negotiate, like "if I get 100naira to make my bed, how much to set the table? What if I make my sister’s bed, do I get 200naira? Fine, u can take away 100naira for not brushing my teeth...."... seriously? I was astound

Most parents and child care providers have resorted to bribery, at least on occasion, to secure good behavior from a child. That's when an adult says, "If you behave in class and don't cause any disruption, then I'll take you for an ice cream afterward." So, is there anything wrong with bribing a child to secure good behavior?

Funbii:
My younger ones wouldn't behave themselves, they won't stop pinching, squealing or shrieking unless I promise to give them money or buy them goodies... I make sure I "settle" them whenever we got visitor(s) so as to avoid embarrassment.

Last night one of them went to my mom to negotiate, like "if I get 100naira to make my bed, how much to set the table? What if I make my sister’s bed, do I get 200naira? Fine, u can take away 100naira for not brushing my teeth...."... seriously? I was astound

Most parents and child care providers have resorted to bribery, at least on occasion, to secure good behavior from a child. That's when an adult says, "If you behave in class and don't cause any disruption, then I'll take you for an ice cream afterward." So, is there anything wrong with bribing a child to secure good behavior?

Joavid:
Paying kids to do chores? Makes no sense to me.
How do you instill a sense of responsibility in them if you 'bribe' them to do what they are suppose to do?

Oyinbo style of parenting eh?

coogar:


it's very effective!
try it and the results will shock you. i disagree with the OP calling it a bribe. when you pay people to do what they should be doing, it's not bribe, it's motivation, reward or bonus. it's only when you pay people to do what they shouldn't be doing that you can use the word bribery e.g. paying exam officers to get expos.

kids are not stüpid!
set them a week's task. tell them what to expect if they complete their task that week and the reward would motivate them to complete your task. they won't forget the task or find the task boring unlike when you just order them around without a promise to reward them.

this is the 21st century - kids have rights too.

Joavid:

How long do you intend to keep rewarding them? And when you stop, will they remain eager to continue doing their chores?

Taking the kids out for a treat occasionally or buying them gifts for being hard-working and good kids (at home and in school) are better ways of rewarding them.

If you are not old enough for pocket money and it's not your birthday, am not giving you a dime.

mutter:
My kid`s get their fixed pocket money every month. This is very important for me because children need to learn how to handle money and save.
Pocket money starts when you enter primary school and increases gradually.
starting from 10 € in primary one then 20€ as from 5th class 30€ and so it goes on to a maximal of 150€ a month.
The pocket money is their "salary".
If you mess up you might end up with a reduction or a month without pay
They know that I am on the look out on any way to save money so can`t wait for you to mess up . If you loose your school materials, you have to replace them from your pocket money.

Children need to be motivated. much more important is with praise and kind words.
My children just love to bring home good notes because I "perform" for them. Carry them in the air sing dance, shower them with praises .
That makes them so happy.
However what makes a good note depends on the child.
I have a child who had slight learning disabilities. One day he got a pass in the fourth class, I was so excited praising him, a mother was so curious asked me what he got. When I told her a four she looked at me baffled and said her son made a 2. I told her my son`s was much better than the two because he worked so had for it. He really did! We had to spend hours learning the first 4 years of school. He found simple things difficult.
So too it is with behavior. Each child is different and we have to make room for their short comings.

coogar:


for as long as you want them to do those chores. we are not talking about N100,000 here. we are talking about token. money for yoghurt, ice cream or whatever flavour of the month interests them.



the kids need to know why you are rewarding them. similarly, they need to know why they are being punished. it goes both ways. tell them what is expected of them & what the reward would be if they do as they are told, you would soon realise kids aren't as clueless as we thought of them - they know what to do.



it doesn't have to be cash......
just find something to reward them with. it could be snacks or toys or video games. they all count. you will find out you won't even need to remind them to do the chores.

a boy that wants to play video games on friday evening knows there's a task to complete before he can play - and you think he wouldn't do that task to get his game?

this mother does it to her kids and this is how he rewards them......tasks & rewards.

LordReed:


With this how do you teach that certain tasks are their own reward? I suppose you keep your home clean does anybody reward you for it? If kids are brought up expecting some kind of favour for tasks that in the real world nobody but the individual involved gives a rat's arsé what do you expect will happen when they are older and mummy and daddy can no longer offer them any reasonable incentive?

coogar:


for as long as you want them to do those chores.

the kids need to know why you are rewarding them. similarly, they need to know why they are being punished. it goes both ways. tell them what is expected of them & what the reward would be if they do as they are told, you would soon realise kids aren't as clueless as we thought of them - they know what to do.

it doesn't have to be cash......
just find something to reward them with. it could be snacks or toys or video games. they all count. you will find out you won't even need to remind them to do the chores.

a boy that wants to play video games on friday evening knows there's a task to complete before he can play - and you think he wouldn't do that task to get his game?

LordReed:


With this how do you teach that certain tasks are their own reward? I suppose you keep your home clean does anybody reward you for it? If kids are brought up expecting some kind of favour for tasks that in the real world nobody but the individual involved gives a rat's arsé what do you expect will happen when they are older and mummy and daddy can no longer offer them any reasonable incentive?

Flytefalls:

I agree. A task that benefits your child is a skill/behavior that will in time prove itself worthy.

I am in agreement that rewarding good behavior should be tangible (at times) but why the need to attach significance always? I think it's fair that a child be able to challenge a parent who may be being unfair (it's so so important for a child to feels itself to be heard); I'd encourage that. But rewarding what I feel is for their own benefit, nah, not all the time. Plenty of hugs and kisses regardless,.

Funbii:
My younger ones wouldn't behave themselves, they won't stop pinching, squealing or shrieking unless I promise to give them money or buy them goodies... I make sure I "settle" them whenever we got visitor(s) so as to avoid embarrassment.

Last night one of them went to my mom to negotiate, like "if I get 100naira to make my bed, how much to set the table? What if I make my sister’s bed, do I get 200naira? Fine, u can take away 100naira for not brushing my teeth...."... seriously? I was astound

Most parents and child care providers have resorted to bribery, at least on occasion, to secure good behavior from a child. That's when an adult says, "If you behave in class and don't cause any disruption, then I'll take you for an ice cream afterward." So, is there anything wrong with bribing a child to secure good behavior?

nurey:
I normally pick my niece from school and when she sees me, she just start crying and all the teachers would be looking at me as if I am one pervert it always pain me but after 10mins she stop crying and I bribe her with playing with my Tab. I am a sweet carrying adult so inorder not to sleep I always have one form of sweet lying around in the car as time went on she adjusted to sweet bribe so now everytime she sees me, she runs and hugs me infact all children in class will start hugging me after hugging and I don't want her to cry I have to follow this her order I WANT TO BUY if you don't follow that nah cry will make you deaf. She has never bought anything worth more than #50 everyday so sometimes when I am late or early warranty us not to wait in school I don't bribe. I know as time goes on she will out grow the brib

coogar:


this only teaches them how to be responsible. it's called "catching the good behaviour" and rewarding them for it. parents only ever focus on bad behaviour of their kids, they rarely talk about their good behaviour - this system is a way of setting your kids to succeed & it also teaches them that in life, you earn exactly what you work for. nothing is given freely on a platter of gold.

Flytefalls:

I agree. A task that benefits your child is a skill/behavior that will in time prove itself worthy.

I am in agreement that rewarding good behavior should be tangible (at times) but why the need to attach significance always? I think it's fair that a child be able to challenge a parent who may be being unfair (it's so so important for a child to feels itself to be heard); I'd encourage that. But rewarding what I feel is for their own benefit, nah, not all the time. Plenty of hugs and kisses regardless,.

LordReed:


For tasks like making your bed, doing your homework, etc that have a direct benefit to the child I don't think that it applies. I think teaching children to succeed at their tasks simply for their own satisfaction should be more emphasized than making them think everything they do will have a reward.

Joavid:

These are their chores. Things they do daily,weekly or on weekends.

They know the chores they are suppose to do and they should do it. It's a duty, a responsibility.(That's how you teach kids to be responsible - to the society, no one gets paid for being responsible)
They would get a reward from time to time if they have been doing well at home and at school - all round.
And they'll get a punishment too if they misbehave after several warnings.

If he keeps playing video games without doing his chores, after several warnings i'll take the video games away, now that will make him do his chores, when he's through, he gets it back.

coogar:


it does....
kids are ready to sleep on their beds whether made or unmade. it's not a benefit to them if it's made. what gets rewarded gets done!

anytime i visit my nephews, their parents marvel at the way their kids listen to me 100% of the time. i simply reward their good behaviour. something their parents consider spoiling

kids aren't stüpid.
they are very wise. the moment you attach a reward to their task, you suddenly see activities - who no like better thing? even the youngest of them is flexing his muscle he wants to participate too.

LordReed:


It might be because you are the doting uncle. It's a whole different ball game when you have to talk to your own kids and the only thing they want to hear is what reward is in it for them.

coogar:


they get the job done when i am around.
that should be the main focus......as long as the job is done.....the end will always justify the means.