How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women - Family - Nairaland
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| How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Nobody: 5:18am On Sep 10, 2014 |
In my interaction with both men and women over the years, I have heard women make such comments as ALL MEN ARE CHEATS, ALL MEN ARE ABUSIVE ALL MEN ARE IRRESPONSIBLE among other disheartening comments like that.. I have tried to understand why a lot of women think that way and after years of thinking, I came to the conclusion that the two biggest factors that contribute to this conclusion by women especially in the contemporary Nigerian society is their UPBRINGING AND EXPERIENCE CONSIDER: A woman is born into a family and from an early age she watches in horror as her mother gets thoroughly beaten by her father. She equally gets her own dose if beating from time to time. As time goes on she gets to find our that her father has multiple affairs brazenly and fails to take responsibility for the upkeep of his family. The mother struggles to fend for her in the little way she can while still staying in such marriage, Some Other men around her such as her neighbor or relatives may be suffering something similar to her plight. That girl most likely will grow up with a pre conceived idea that all men are the same and they are all cheats liars and wicked. This is the story of many women I come in contact with. Even on this forum, a lot of women who make such conclusions as raised at the outset of this thread men are cheats among others, deep down, many of them must have experienced it at home or their relations or neighbors to come to such conclusion. All I'm trying to suggest with the long story above is that we should better understand such women when they come up with such assumptions, prove it wrong by our individual conduct as men and most importantly for fathers to be more responsible and live by example in Nigeria. If we do these, the perception of men as being beasts or cheats etc will be reduced in our society. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by cococandy(f): 9:49am On Sep 10, 2014 |
And nairaland dudes can also help your ministry by dropping the all men are cheats anthem they sometimes sing. Yous are not helping y'alls image at all. 1 Like |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by crackhaus: 10:48am On Sep 10, 2014 |
It's not necessarily about upbringing and preconceived notions all the time. Most often, personal experiences are what shape an adults opinion of the opposite sex at the end of the day, this however does not exclude the psychological hard-wiring experienced by some people as a result of upbringing. Going by my personal experiences and by those I have been able to witness in other people, I decided that it's never wise to have full confidence in any one...and when I say anyone, I mean everyone. Is this as a result of my upbringing? Absolutely not! It's more about giving people the benefit of a doubt and giving no quarter should they end up disappointing you at the end of the day. |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Nobody: 11:02am On Sep 10, 2014 |
crackhaus: It's not necessarily about upbringing and preconceived notions all the time.I agree totally with you. That's why the heading of this thread capture both upbringing and personal experience. I would talk about experience later on... But that would be much later. |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by coogar: 11:03am On Sep 10, 2014 |
PocketEconomist:  |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by bukatyne(f): 11:58am On Sep 10, 2014 |
@OP: Totally agree That's why I hate staying for kids advice; it is demonic @Cococandy said: Most NL men don't help matters. I can only count about 3 I have noted who condemn cheating & abuse |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Kanwulia: 12:04pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
You need to read the life of AMBER ROSE OR WIZ KHALIFA darling! Just one example that the hand of fate is always yours!  What ever you have experienced in life. . . it is still your choice to make the best out of it. YOUR CHOICE. No negative experience should have a hold on you. Never give anyone or ANYTHING such power over you! NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH. . . . THERE IS SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. It is your responsibility to have the right MINDSET TO BE ABLE TO GIVE AND RECEIVE THAT LOVE IN RETURN. The world can only talk with their mouths and anuses while YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEsynEd2vyU MEET ONE OF MY ROLE MODELS WITH THE ULTIMATE SELF-ESTEEM EMMY/GRAMMY/BET/OSCAR AWARD!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4Ava3jHQTk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIgvUtDHfOg |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by crackhaus: 12:06pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
bukatyne: @OP:Shey I follow?  |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Kanwulia: 12:08pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by bukatyne(f): 12:14pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
crackhaus: You know the answer na |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Nobody: 12:19pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
bukatyne: @OP:Se my name dey among  .... |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Kanwulia: 12:19pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Nobody: 12:24pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
Judging people as a whole because of one experience or the other is simply myopic....Try and explore and have a sense of uninfluenced thoughts and get the best out of life. All men are not the same |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Kanwulia: 12:49pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
The reason we shall always have THE BEYONCES VS THE SOLANGES of NL!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC_ZatD60mA Both women with the same FATHER OF A CHEAT. . . . . But one always BITTER. . . the other always happy. WOMEN! RELAX. You will marry a CHEAT. You don't have to leave your marriage for that! Men CAN NEVER BE MONOGAMOUS. . .YA POOSIES AIN'T GOLD! DEAL WITH IT! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADTAB3bzWB4 [size=20pt]ALL MEN WILL CHEAT!!! NEVER LET A MAN AND HIS BLOKOS COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. . . .AMEN!!!![/size] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VXU3bRaBm4 |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Danhumprey: 1:03pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
Odilafta: Judging
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| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Nobody: 2:58pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
Danhumprey: |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by cococandy(f): 3:05pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
The biggest contributor is that when young hormone driven and mostly unreasonable dudes start saying it,the older mature ones don't call them to order. Silence is agreement. So what do you expect the ladies to think? Don't blame us o  |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by tpia1: 3:48pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
cococandy: The biggest contributor is that when young hormone driven and mostly unreasonable dudes start saying it,the older mature ones don't call them to order. being older and mature doesnt rule out cheating. Its a sex addition most times, going by various names but all saying and meaning the same thing. not all young men cheat, likewise not all older men are faithful to their partners. In addition, many women also see nothing wrong in men cheating. After all, the men dont cheat by themselves, it takes one or more willing participants. |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by cococandy(f): 4:18pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
tpia1: I get that. My point is that it would be easier for younger up coming men to listen to older supposedly wiser men. So when they do nothing and say nothing to discourage such utterances,they don't realize it's a tactical agreement to what's being peddled around. I know women cheat too. But you'll hardly see women cheering another one on to cheat in the name of being polyandrous. In fact women judge others harder and will hardly make any excuses for anyone who's trying to (For lack of a better word) So when guys give others subtle pats on the back for their conquests. Why do they blame anyone who says all guys cheat? Na their fault jare. Yea some women see nothing wrong in it because they have come to believe it is normal for a man to cheat. Guess how they came to such conclusion? Our igbo people say: 'ihe ojoo gba afor,o buru omenala' Translates: 'when an evil/bad deed is practised continuously,it becomes the custom and tradition of the people practising it'  They've heard it long enough to believe it 1 Like |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Nmeri17: 1:56am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Kanwulia: The reason we shall always have THE BEYONCES VS THE SOLANGES of NL!!! madam I am monogamous. I never cheat. don't stereotype cos u haven't met ¼ of the males on earth 1 Like |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by Kanwulia: 4:56am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Nmeri17: Na only you WAKA kam? Wey the others? I nor fit smell ya BLOKOS abi? Even me sef don dey celibate since last week ke! You are monogamous now does not mean you will remain monogamous or you have ALWAYS been monogamous! All MEN will cheat at one point or the other! Period! |
| Re: How Upbringing And Experience Affect The Perception Of Men By Women by pickabeau1: 7:07am On Sep 11, 2014 |
So people still look for old wise ones online to advise them on how to live their own life? Lol Peoples mindset are made up based on their own experiences so it is pointless trying to change it All these chants will never change As you lot say all men cheat only that your husbands, brothers and male cousins are exempt as usual. No need to dissuade anyone from his or her mindset It is what it is |
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