Akpors is here. you can laff till you break your back. will be back to open it, it will be a pidgin / English story (throws grammar out of the window). Update up soon.

Take dis wan take hole belle, is not the story just a regular akpors joke

TEACHER: All stupid people should stand up
AKPOS Stands Up
TEACHER: So Akpos you are stupid?
AKPOS: No Ma, I just can’t bear you standing alone.

Chapter One

Overweight

Akpors walked with his girl friend sonia (I know how this small warri boy take dey magnet babes ) inside the bar and they began waltzing to the tune of Wizkid's Pakuromo, he gazed into her eyes he could see love.

"I've finally caught the girl of my dreams" he thought tucking his hands under Sonia's blouse. He knew how many months he had spent toasting her, how many jokes he cracked to make her fall in love, now here she was.

Wizkid got to the part where he was singing "I want to kiss my baby, Fumoke, Pakuromo "

Fear gripped Akpors as Sonia bent for him inviting him to taste her beautiful rosy lips. He pushed his pot belle forward and tried to bend over to kiss her, it was impossible for him to do it with the excess baggage he carried. Then he stepped on her toes and mistakenly droppped her.

Everybody looked towards their direction, Akpors smiling innocently, Sonia then ran out, Akpors tried to chase her but she bolted away at faster than usain bolt speed.

He knew he had to get rid of the fat and fast.

On his way back as if God has answered his prayers he saw a 1 day 15kg loss program, the managers had proof that it worked so he ordered it.

The next day he heard a Knock on the door and opened to see a girl completely naked except for a pant that covered her large behind, she wore a sign 'Catch me and have me ' Akpors salivated and chased after her but some how he couldn't even touch her and after almost 4 hours she left him on the ground exhausted but he suddenly felt light. this was good he upgraded to the 20Kg loss plan.

He heard a knock on the door and opened to see two geisha girls completely naked no pant. he felt his manhood rise, they told him he could have them if he caught them, their voice was music to his ear. He gave chase not knowing what he was in for, the girls would play tag with him and he would run all over the place finally he gave up, this was good he thought. 25kg was gone. He knew he had to go for the 50kg weight loss.

he called the office and asked for it.

"This is hyper intensive" The manager warned him. he bought it.

The next day he wore a condom and running shoes preparing to catch and bleep, get heard a knock and opened the door to see a 7' tall muscular man naked and with a condom on, on his neck was a sign. " I catch you and you are mine. Muahaha " Akpors ran carrying his life on his head. After that day he lost 70kg.

I fit continue?

Fixgoo: I fit continue?

continue biko!!