I'm in a big mess, and I don't know how to get out of this...here is my story. About Seven years ago, when I was still in the University, I did something very stupid and childish and I paid dearly for it, and right now its looks like the ghost of the past has come back to haunt me.

I was in my 2nd year in school when I met Tosin (not real name) she was my Roomie that year and we became quite close. She was dating this cool guy who bought her so many things and took her to the coolest parties, despite our (the girls in the hostel room) plea to meet her boo, she refused, saying girls are not to be trusted. After about seven months of dating him, she entered the room this particular day crying...continue...

...telling us how she caught the guy with another girl. She cried for days, she was devastated. Then she came up with this ridiculous idea of setting the guy up and treating his f**k up. I was picked to be the bait, because I was the innocent and quiet one. I collected the guy's phone number and he fell for the sweet voice. That was how Jide and I started our relationship but it was a Revengetionship on my part. The deal was to make him fall for me and then I dump him. Jide was sweet to me, but I never allowed him to come see me in school, and once he found out that I was a virgin, oh he treated me like I was the rarest of all gems. After about four months of this charade, He found out the connection between Tosin and I, and to say he was angry is an understatement. He called me names and we went our separate ways. He was hurt and this was good news for Tosin.

Six months later, I met this wonderful guy, Frank. He was so smooth and jovial, he charmed me and we started dating. After about three months, on this particular day, I got a call from Frank, he told me he was not feeling fine that I should quickly come over. Like every young lady in love, I dashed down to his house, but to my surprise, I met Frank playing scrabbles with two of his friends, looking quite healthy. He told me he just wanted to see my face. I sat down and watched them play for some minutes, then the door bell rang, and to my utmost mortification, Jide strolled in. It was at that moment that I knew I was in deep mess. To cut it short, my virginity was taken in a brutal way. I was raped by Jide, Frank and their two friends, I was then warned never to breathe a word to the police about it or they will kill me. I went back to the hostel and Tosin was the only one who knew about it, she was my rock and anchor, and she kept apologizing for putting me in the mess. We finished school and everyone went their separate ways.

Ever since the incident, I was not interested in men or any relationship, I kept to myself, focused on my future, I got a Job with a Telecommunications company and all was well in my world. Then early last year, I met this amazing guy, who gave me a reason to love again. Oh he loves me, and I love him too. Three months ago, he proposed and I accepted. It was that time that I found out that he is Tosin's very close cousin, Since then, Tosin has been threatening to tell him about the rape, that I should leave his cousin alone. She said if I don't, she will tell my fiance's family. I was shocked. She was the reason I went through all that, and she is threatening to take the little happiness I just found away from me again. I'm confused, I'm angry, I'm sad. I don't want to lose my man. I accept that I was stupid back then but I've paid dearly for it. Should I be deprived of this too? Someone please help!

FTC....
my advice: tell ur man everything dat happened, if he truly loves u he'll stay

I wouldn't say your story was pure lies cos alot of shit happens in relationship.
Just tell him.If he really loved u,he would stay wth u and if otherwise u will surely find love again. That's nt d end of the world.

I would advice u tell him the truth just like u have stated it to us here...I knw it's hard but it would be much better because the way u would tell him won't be the same way Tosin ur so-called friend would. It's better he hears it frm u than from someone else. If he's urs he'll stay but if he doesn't let him go, just like the poster above me said...it's not the end of the world...Also if u are a christain I would suggest u pray to God about it for guidance preferably b4 telling ur man. I just hope this helps

Like posters before me said, please tell your man. God-willing, he'd understand. But then, next time, know when not to cross the line in doing favours for 'friends'. Hope you've learnt your lesson sha.

Dammytrager: FTC....
my advice: tell ur man everything dat happened, if he truly loves u he'll stay

ive come to discover that when she finally does tell, the guy is question always withdraws anyhow. Some drastically end it, others coyishly withdraw. Its hard o.




But overall getting in dirty games for interest always end in bitterness!