We lived together after while working in the same school about 10yrs ago. We knew everything each other did or plan to do. I was the wild type, having issues with ladies and sometimes seeking his help to resolve a fight whenever my girls clash. We parted when I moved to Abuja for a new and comfortable job. I also left my baggage of women back in my state. He remained there but got a new job too. He retained his girlfriend (Call here Miss A) who was starting Uni at the time I left.
Surprisingly, in early 2011, my guy married a different girl (call her Miss B) from the one I knew. He told my his reasons and I sided him. I got married in mid-2011 too. Two weeks ago, I discovered that my guy and Miss A are still seeing each other. In fact, it was Miss A who confided in me that she does not know what to do about my friend. The two of them can't seem to let each other go. They are still going as if nothing is between them. She says she can't seem to accept another man, 3 yrs after my guy married. I was alarmed!! When I probed further, she reveal that my guy is still talking of them spending life together as partners. The girl seems trapped by emotions given that the guy is her first love.

I wanted to confront my friend, they girl beg me not to. I tried talking the girl our, she doesn't believe she can exist without that guy. I have had my challenges as a married person, but at the intensity that this thing is going, this guy's marriage may hit the rocks soon. How can I help this guy and maybe the lady concerned. That my guy is even on NL here, I pray and hope he reads your advice and opinions.

Interesting

Ok

Hmmm...

Abeg, all the singles in the house, after every break up, give yourself time to heal and not jump into another r/ship immediately. Op, I think you might just be fighting an already lost cause, I might be wrong but then again, this their love fit strong pass semovita in harmattan aka stone.

Hmnnn,as the guy is your friend, your loyalty lies with him,tell him the truth,or talk to him to know what he wants,is he just having fun
,whilst deceiving the "miss A" ,or does he still truly have feelings for her?, Also talk to the lady,as a married man that you are,you should know that what they are both doing is wrong,tell her to let go of the guy,they probably have some good s.ex together, and maybe that's what's not making her let go....if at the end,she's unable to settle down because of heartbreak from her hopes being shattered by your friend, it's gonna be really sad..

so she's having a good time being a side chick....

Let them go ahead and legalize things. As in polygamy stuff. No qualms.

iwakolewa: Hmnnn,as the guy is your friend, your loyalty lies with him,tell him the truth,or talk to him to know what he wants,is he just having fun
,whilst deceiving the "miss A" ,or does he still truly have feelings for her?, Also talk to the lady,as a married man that you are,you should know that what they are both doing is wrong,tell her to let go of the guy,they probably have some good s.ex together, and maybe that's what's not making her let go....if at the end,she's unable to settle down because of heartbreak from her hopes being shattered by your friend, it's gonna be really sad..

so she's having a good time being a side chick....

From all indication, there is lots of emotions on both sides. During most of my calls with my friend, he mentions Miss A. But he paints a picture that he wants to help the girl. It even gets so bad that my guy wants our joint venture (He is my business partner too) to employ Miss A to run our business. I have told the girl of the consequences, but she seems to appear helpless. All the suggestions I offered seem not to make sense to her. I even ask if she sees herself having kids for this guy, she said "maybe". It is just more than good sex. My guy sees her as an escape as challenges in his marriage. The girl sees him as "the love of my life".

PassingShot: Let them go ahead and legalize things. As in polygamy stuff. No qualms.

Miss A says she doesn't want to be a second wife. Miss B is not aware of what the hubby is doing and may not be ready to welcome a second wife.

He's matured to know the pros,and cons of his actions.

Leave him,let fate decides for him.

Why marry a woman,and still keep a serious date with a lady outside,its just wickedness.

Op,just express yourself,and leave him to decide his stand,else he would start avoiding you.

He's simply a selfish person.

Keep preaching maybe one day ur frnd wil change his/her way.

This is the reason why I CAN'T STAND GANGS and groupie friendships!
Too much talking going on here.
The need to confess this and that.

What righteous indignation!

See sour NGWO GWO soup tinz o!

In fact. . . I don't know who to insult first.
Too many choices. . . with equal level of irritation with a truck-load of juveniles.

Next please!

The Miss A is not serious at all.She no get sense at all.If the guy really loved her he wouldn't have married another.First love my foot.She is only hurting her self by clinging to the past.Your guy is only having fun.Hope it won't be too late when the scale falls off her eyes.Time,waits for no babe.

imo'le ti de.some men and their wanderin Carrots.

The guy knows what to do.He can put a stop to it if he wants.The girl is disillusioned.

My fear now is Miss A might just go diabolic to eliminate B to step in her shoes since she has said she can't be a 2nd wife and at the same time said she can't imagine life without the guy. Your guy should end it now else he might just have his wife's dead in his hands.

BluStreak: My fear now is Miss A might just go diabolic to eliminate B to step in her shoes since she has said she can't be a 2nd wife and at the same time said she can't imagine life without the guy. Your guy should end it now else he might just have his wife's dead in his hands.

I would love to say Miss A is a Christian, but with what passes today as Christianity, I am afraid I can't say. So, your fear is valid even in my heart. After all, Nigerian girls don't let go easily except when they are on the advantage.

Just tell the girl that married men who still engage in extra marital affairs are time wasters.

let her know that if she is not good enough to be married by your friend when he got the chance and when both of them were single then she is not good enough.to the world she will always be the other woman.

Sorry man if I am a bit hash that is just the undiluted truth.

I was deceived!!!

As at the time this girl told me she was still going out with my friend, she was already about 6months pregnant for my guy. The guy is now living with lady and the new born baby.

Guys can be wicked at times. Fear quiet people!!

This belongs in Romance section

Before you could help him, you have to be sure you are not tolling the same part in your marriage, meaning you are not seeing another woman apart from your wife. The lady can exist without him of course she just have to let go of the emotional sentiment, so since she's open for conversation on this then work more on her and assure her she can exist even better without him. I think the two of them are delusional.

injuredman:

I was deceived!!!

As at the time this girl told me she was still going out with my friend, she was already about 6months pregnant for my guy. The guy is now living with lady and the new born baby.

Guys can be wicked at times. Fear quiet people!!

What about the first wife? Did he divorce her or did he just leave the house for her?

injuredman:

We lived together after while working in the same school about 10yrs ago. We knew everything each other did or plan to do. I was the wild type, having issues with ladies and sometimes seeking his help to resolve a fight whenever my girls clash. We parted when I moved to Abuja for a new and comfortable job. I also left my baggage of women back in my state. He remained there but got a new job too. He retained his girlfriend (Call here Miss A) who was starting Uni at the time I left.
Surprisingly, in early 2011, my guy married a different girl (call her Miss B) from the one I knew. He told my his reasons and I sided him. I got married in mid-2011 too. Two weeks ago, I discovered that my guy and Miss A are still seeing each other. In fact, it was Miss A who confided in me that she does not know what to do about my friend. The two of them can't seem to let each other go. They are still going as if nothing is between them. She says she can't seem to accept another man, 3 yrs after my guy married. I was alarmed!! When I probed further, she reveal that my guy is still talking of them spending life together as partners. The girl seems trapped by emotions given that the guy is her first love.

I wanted to confront my friend, they girl beg me not to. I tried talking the girl our, she doesn't believe she can exist without that guy. I have had my challenges as a married person, but at the intensity that this thing is going, this guy's marriage may hit the rocks soon. How can I help this guy and maybe the lady concerned. That my guy is even on NL here, I pray and hope he reads your advice and opinions.

How did this end?