The illusion of life has really put a pause on the rising of my mornings. My horizon has been fenced by iron cobwebs, in a chest made of bubbles, and guarded by dragon spitting rodents. The faith I have to be a rich lay about is a journey I have taken and has lead me to ride the finest horses, the thinnest donkeys, and walked a water desert.
Starting off in the hood called Festac was a graceful one with nothing to worry about. My life began with a random fine divorcee naval officer who married a petty trader from the creeks of his forefathers. The family was blessed with a sun which is me and four moons, called Ese,Odiri,Katherine and the one from Pluto known as ogheneovo.
The love between the king and the queen was sweetly bitter, with my father making his home as fortified as he seemed possible. He brought his work home and made sure all subordinates dressed in line and was orderly as ever. The home was awake before the sun gave its first yawn and the call for order started with his dress up for work.
He always looked adorable in his fine naval uniform, as his shirts was nicely pressed, and his pants was as polished, as the brightness of black. He ate his meal hurriedly, as if he will be killed if he is a seconds late to parade. I grew up wondering what it was like being a naval officer, even though I never was genuinely one, but had a feel of his life, when I went to the Nigerian navy secondary school Abeokuta, he dreamed up for me.
As I watch him get ready for work with my sleepy eyes, a rain of curses sprang forth from my sisters mouth, because my groins had gushed out with urine during the night, and like always I have soaked her clothes again, as the chief bed wetter of the street.
I am ashamed to go out, because I would have to carry the urine soaked coffin, to the backyard to dry so we can use it another night. My neighbors corridor is my path way, and the dripping of my urine would trail me, as they shake their head, and look at me with disgust, for no one understands why at my age I was still a bed wetter.
As the sun yawns again, I run into the bathroom, to clean myself up, so I can be ready for school, as the school bus leaves yet, in a moment. Usually, my mum makes our meals when the moon dances naked, at the village square, but sometimes we go out in the mornings, to buy breakfast from the street mini canteen woman, who leaves two floors above our flat, who is called mama Afis .
Her meals were so super tasty, as I would have been given my fifty kobo, to place my order, which would be steaming hot, and gracious to behold. Mama Afis was my mum’s friend, so we usually get an extra, when we patronize her. Then I will order for rice thirty kobo, beans ten kobo, and beef ten kobo in my food flask , waiting to get to school, where I will unleash the aroma, and basks in its glory. As I rush to the bus station, to board my school bus, my mum tucks into my pocket, a few biscuits and candies, if I didn’t wet my bed that day.
Getting to school was something else, as I would be dressed in my well pressed uniform, and wearing one of the socks my mum sells at her mini stall, in Balogun market of Lagos Island. The school gate of Nigerian navy primary school ojo Lagos State, breaks forth as the mallam (as we used to call people who are from the northern part of Nigeria) ,whose mouth is always moving, as he chews his kola nut, while the paste drools to the side of his mouth, opens the gate, that one wonders why, he speaks a funny language we never understand, but when we are late, his cane swings like lightening, and crashes hard on our mini buttocks, as the pain sends shock waves from ones spine, to the brain while we yell in pain, speaking the language he can only respond to, with a grin.
We have a school ground, where we are asked to assemble, and the school band plays matching school songs, we never seem to get the words right, but mimic our teachers.
One such song was the song : Where-ever you go……go-go-gon go
What-ever you see…..si-si eko
Do-not say yes when you mean to say no .
Baba ijebu.
I, as a little lad, wonders at the wordings of this song, but the puzzles where to much for me to understand, that I give up reasoning, and allow my lust for playing, drown me in the stamping of our little feet, that brings ripples, which wakes up the nesting bird colonies, behind the walls of the school.
My class teacher always sits at the right hand corner of the classroom, and the day begins with a roll call. Each set of two sits had a girl, and a boy sitting, and I always made sure, I had a beautiful sit mate, which I dreamed to be my girl friend. I have had my fair share of beautiful sit mates but was only able to kiss one when I was in primary four.
Then being the class captain was a competition of who came first the previous term. And I had one foe who we fought back and forth for this position named Ameh Godfrey. Ameh was a little man compared to how the average height for my class was. He was so smart, that I feared he will out do me each term and that made me work a little more hard.
Although, leadership was determined by position in the last examination, Ameh was able to take it from me, by manipulation. I had a sit partner called victory, she was soft and very lady like. She has brown eyes and a smile that always melts my butter heart. There is this hole on her face, whenever she smiles, and I will wonder in my little world what it was called, which I never found out that it is called dimples, till much later in life as an adult. I would cheat on writing names of noise makers, as I would never ,pencil her name down for punishment ,even if she pulled the roof down with noise. Ameh knew my weakness for Victoria and used it against me.
Primary four A as it was called was close to the toilet, and due to misuse a lot of girls, prefer to ease themselves, close to my class window, which brings a repelling aroma, that makes my class teacher, breathe in anger. This said day, Victoria went to ease herself ,and Ameh convinced me to go and check who it was doing her thing close to the classroom. I was caught in the chains of her loving eyes and the dew of tears in her eyes melted my heart, as she pleaded not to be taken to the class teacher.
I was in shock ,as my response to her cries when I asked for a kiss as a bribe, so I wont tell anyone. She gave in, and that was the day I lost my innocence ,as my lips touched hers, and the world stood still, as I died in the softness, and sweetness of her lovely lips. If there where cell phones back then, Ameh had me in his video, as he was the first to tell, and I lost my leadership position, because I couldn’t control my puppy love crush, for my sit mate.
After that bitter sweet experience, I never had dealings with females, as I won’t call them women, because I too was not a man. I was taken away, by the wave of the common entrance for secondary schools, as I was admitted to a boys only school. I focused on my books, and let it drown me, as I wanted to please my father ,who always reminded me, that my school fees is equivalent to a bag of garri.
The fusion of the king and queen came crashing soon enough, and the sun at eleven years old became an adult. The sun promised to look after the four moons, and the queen moved to an adjacent slum called Aboju. I hovered between Festac town and Aboju as a child, since there is no functional child custody case between them the kids decided, who and when dad or mummy time is.
I was getting exposed to the real world, where people like me were looked upon, like the classy ones. For the first time in my life, I began to see families cramped up in a small space, that wasn’t big enough for our store room, as a house. I wondered what it was like living in one, and began to love the experience, as I stayed more with my mum, while my dad came there to cause a scene, as he had less time spent with his kids.
Then came my junior secondary school examination, and after we were done I went home to relax while I await my results. I have never been a girl hunting guy in my hood, but I had so much admirers in my block, and that was how I lost my virginity, to my neighbors’ daughter.
Bee as I will call her was the crazy one, she was the bad girl of the block, she was not the super fine one, but as at that time we used to play at night, with other boys by the staircase, where touching a girl’s boobs, was the in-thing. We craved for night time, when the power supply will be out, so we can go in the cover of the night, and touch girls who have been sent to fetch water from the well, but when the moon is dancing naked, no one dare encounter such a journey, as the skin of your ass, will be attached to a cane, if words goes out to our parents.

My father saw it coming, that I will loose it soon enough, but to whom he cared less. Bee came to the house, to say hello, and began to act in a funny way, which I couldn’t understand. My dad sensing it left the house, so I can be comfortable, but I was so afraid as this was my first time being alone, with the opposite sex. She is a master in the act, as she guided me through every phase, as I enjoyed the feeling, when I noticed something smooth, and moist hit my pipe.
Will I call it wonderful, I cant say because the fear that I would get her pregnant, took a hold of me, since I knew something milky came out of me, and from my last topic in reproduction, I knew I may be a daddy soon. Bee came around more often, as she thought we are an item but I avoided her like a plague, as I thought she was sent from hell to ruin my world, so my dad would have his dream of sending me to learn a trade, if I ever messed my life up.
I spoke to no one about it, but sometimes I call Bee to find out if anything was growing in her. The torment was so much, for my little soul, and wondered why I will be in hell, when I am not dead already. After a few weeks past, and no fuse was blown, I began to have a few comfortable breathe, and visiting my school mates, as a means to kill my fear, took a hold of me.
The 3-Tees, as they where called back then in Festac town, were the new kids on the block. Tayo, late Tunde Lawal and Tolu-Remi John, as he was fondly called were making waves in Festac town, and since I was a school mate, of two of the 3-Tees, I was allowed to roll in their crew. Our day starts, with Tayo driving the old official car of his father, who had just being made a military administrator of Osun state to my house. From my house, we moved round to pick up Tunde, Tolu and off we are to the game house called MAD House. I was not too into combat games, but I watch from a distance, while I merry at the ice cream, and biscuit combs bought for me. Every day was fun for us, as the joy they bring with so much money to burn, made me forget how I lost my virginity, to the street rat called Bee.
Life they say can be so fast for kids, if they have free money to do whatever they liked. Tunde’s dad was a personal physician to the military administrator of Lagos state, and so money supply in dollars, Dutch marks and in pounds sterling, was a sea of candies running down our throats. The 3-Tees were good dressers, from Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Chaps, and Gap they had it all, and looked good whenever we stepped out of the old Navy blue Peugeot 504 saloon car.
I was the less dressed one, but I usually had some few clothes on, that gave me a pass, to be a hang-on with the 3-Tees. They started off smoking cigars, and I felt it was classy. Usually, it was a cigar called Moore, the finest of the stick, and the smoothness of its aroma, made me drag a few sticks, while they walked in, to pick which lady of the evening ,they would have sex with. These ladies were a lot older for us, so I didn’t feel comfortable around them, I would rather hang around the bar, while my friends walks into the small cubicles, which serves as a make shift room for the illicit sex trade, back then in Festac town.
They all came out looking happy, as if they had had the best candies ever, and we would talk about it, as we drove away to the next joint, to play snooker. I always gave them the impression, that I don’t like them as they were too ugly. I didn’t want to look like the cheap one, as I feared to loose my friendship, with these boys.
Although, we had money to burn, there was never a girl around us. It was from one lady of the evening, to another. We ate a lot too, from one amala joint to another, while we had drinks, but I always stayed with my trusted non-alcoholic drinks. The fear of going home looking like an adult, was with me so I made sure I always washed away any adult in me, before walking pass my king’s door.
For some reasons my dad was downsizing, meals were not steady, and staying at home was now his hubby. He left the navy after the queen was kicked out of his palace, and his little pile of savings ran out. His brothers came in, so a way out was discussed, and we were told, we were moving away to a new town, but instead of the two bedrooms we occupied, we would be taking up a one bedroom apartment. We were told we would move back as soon as the rent paid were due, and that was how the king lost his crown, and the path to a hard life began.
Satellite town, was not evenly developed when we moved in, as the road where always bumpy and the water supply, was worse than one from, a well planned town can imagine. I was in school when my dad moved, so I was sent a letter, and was called upon that Friday, by the school mail man. I tore it open, as the king rarely wrote me, nor come visiting; he was a man whose emotions, died a long time ago, and the best emotions he showed me, was anger.
I read as he asked how my studies were going, and how I would love this new place that had unity with nature. He knows my crave for a green world, as he was the one who led me into a world of reading, as he had boxes of novels bought for me, while he was on official duty at the Nigerian house, in the United kingdom before I was even born. He wanted me to see the world, through the eyes of writers, I would never meet. I had Harley Chase series, in two huge boxes locked up in my little room, which i shared with the moons, and the queen’s servant. These books were my fortress from the real world, whenever I wanted to relax, and be left alone.
After reading the letter, I wasn’t sure what I will see as this bargain, to a sudden change of status, took the peas off my pie. I was comfortable, hobnobbing the slum, and the hood, but moving to two slums was not a thing I was hoping to live with. The holiday was fast approaching, and I would be forced to leave school, for the new place. I took a bus home, and all through the drive from lafenwa park of Ogun state, I was in thoughts as which of the demons, had finally gotten a hold on me, and why I will loose my little super life, and be counted among the ghetto kids.
I didn’t give up my friends in festac town, and I was always going back to festac town every morning, while I return late. My dad didn’t say a word about it, because he felt I deserve to be with my friends a lot more. I started spending time in my hood too, and noticed a girl who was as skinny as a broom stick crushing on me. We stole kisses most nights, but when word got out I was dating endurance, my hood mates started laughing at me. I gave it up because I didn’t want to be seen with her, and moved back to hobnobbing with my friends.
Christmas season was around the corner and dad didn’t even blink as to my shopping allowance. I felt my world crashing, as we all have this time when friends would come to your house to see what you were gotten for Christmas and soon they planned on visiting mine. I was in thoughts and the idea to see Tunde came to mind, as I walked down to Tunde’s house that afternoon, telling him how my life is crashing before me, and I am numb as to what I will do about it.
He looked me up and gave me fifty British pounds to get some clothes, and another twenty pounds to give the mallam we usually exchange money from, as his balance for the loan Tunde owes him. I took both monies and walked away. Doing the exchange was an easy one, and the thrill that I had so much money made me loose my mind and I didn’t give the mallam his balance. I was off to the market and got clothes and a loafers and feeling my world is back up I left for my uncle’s place in wema bus stop of olodi Apapa, where I had a girl I was crushing on. I had a younger cousin called Kenneth with a street name Balado, who we had fun together. He took me to boundary of Ajegunle, where I had my first sex with a lady of the evening.
The place was filled with smoke from the human chimneys, that littered the streets, and the local gin seller’s stalls, which made it a place not fit for an urban sun. I watched as my younger cousin, moved freely in this den fit for hyenas. He was a master in this underworld of sex workers, as he lead me from one brothel, to another, and prostitutes old enough to be my mother called on us, with names like fine boy, my love, and sweet heart “come make I do you well” as the local slang for good sex, felt like acid been poured into my ear drums.
I held onto his shirt, as he shoved my hands away, as the look from these criminal minded humans, was piercing holes in my skin. He moved with swiftness, and an art telling me, it wasn’t his first call at a place like this, until we got to his costumer. I was looked on like a prized possession, as each woman grabbed me, from one part of my shirt to another. I was frozen with fear like a turkey, and went through the moment in a trance, as fast as I could get into a room, with my cousin.
My cousin and his prostitutes were shocked, at my presence in their room, as they asked me what I wanted. I replied I want to be here, while they do it, and I will do mine after my cousin. The thunder of laughter from them both, sent hot molten of fear down my spine, as the prostitute beacon on her friend, to take this JJC ( Johnny just come to Lagos ) to her room, and show me the ropes, while strands of sweat, fell from my face.
I grew rather bold daily, and my little wealth was spent by my new found hubby with my cousin in the underworld of brothels. The pain of not being able to touch boobs, nor kiss was stunning to me, as I asked my initiator why one is not allowed to enjoy these luxuries, while he looked into space, without an answer. Damn, I couldn’t had had it better. Cheap pussy, and gambling under the staircase of my uncle’s house, in ajegunle was more than I bargained. I was having life, sweeter than honey and my holiday stood still, as I forgot about my dad, and friends since this was a kid’s paradise.
Then came the news from my uncle. My dad had being arrested, and taken to the governors office in Alausa, because I have been accused by Tunde, that he loaned me, the sum off nine hundred thousand naira after his father’s box of hard currencies, were found to be missing. I was bundled like a common thief, and taken to the governor’s office of Lagos state, and thrown into a cell adjacent the cell Tunde was placed in.
The truth to determine, who took this money was not funny, as I was placed with criminals in a cell for two weeks, while Tunde who have been there longer was released to his parents. My dad was in shock I had been having this much fun, under his very nose, and could hide it away from him. I was made to write my statement, and after a week my dad was asked to pay back the seventy British pounds Tunde agreed he gave to me, and I was released. The news spread like wild fire, and when I resumed school I was seen as a big boy, who hit it big, and I began to earn some respect from my peers.
Tunde was withdrawn from my school, and was taken to Nigerian Navy secondary school Ojo while I was left alone. After all the pain a sawyer walked up to me and told me how he used juju, to take money from Tunde, since they only spend money, but wont give him some. The 3-Tees never forgave me I thought but I was never able to see Tunde again, even though he asked people to tell me to come back, so we can continue our friendship, before he died in a motor accident, along Apapa Oshodi expressway, while coming back from the club. I didn’t go for his burial, because I couldn’t face his parents, but I later went there to see his dad, who welcomed me when he heard it was the boy, he locked up with his son. The old man was never a happy man since then, but I never knew what became of them since we left festac town.
My slum world blossomed, as I began to live the life my change of status required of me. No more trips to festac town, but trips to the swamp, where I would catch catfish, and shrimps. It was fun playing in the slum after all, but did I like this life I really cant tell. Dad started a small business of daily money collector and lender to petty traders, and we were having a little good life once again. I began to make friends with the other street kids, but refuse to be beneath my station, as I was seen by many as a poor snub…