While dating rules may vary slightly on an individual basis,
there are some universal ones. And though there are those you
should always follow (like “do not rectally penetrate your date
without prior permission or proper lubrication”), there are a
few that, much like Justin Bieber’s skull, merit shattering
beyond repair.
Rule: Dating rules dictate no discussion of having children
immediately. You’ll appear to be moving too fast if you inquire
about kids too soon.
Why you should break it: It sucks when you really connect
with someone and find out after a few weeks, months or years
of dating that your reproductive aspirations are complete polar
opposites. Don’t risk dragging out a doomed love affair–lay
out how you feel as soon as comfortably possible because the
decision to make little sperm-and-egg omelets is a major
issue. Most men‘ class=’linkify’ target=’_blank’>women want
kids someday and several have raging baby rabies. So if
you’re a child-free guy, this is especially important. What’s the
harm in delving into the subject and having the shit hit the fan
sooner when you’re not too involved rather than later when
you’re nuts about one another? This rule also pertains to other
touchy lifestyle choices like sexual openness, religious beliefs
and political views.
Rule: Never talk about ex-girlfriends and ex-wives . Women
don’t like being compared to your former partners.
Why you should break it: Yes, heaven forbid you compare your
date to an ex because you fancy avoiding an instant replay of a
past mistake. Waxing poetic for hours about an ex with whom
you’re still enamored while wearing her underwear may alarm
your date, but it’s naive to think either you or your chick have
no sexual history. Be adults—talk about why these
relationships went the way of the Hindenburg and what you
would want out of a future romantic commitment. This is also
a good way to find out if she has been ridden more than a
champion pony and to insist on STD testing.
Rule: After dating for a bit, you don’t need to care about your
appearance anymore .
Why you should break it: It seems that when a guy has
“snagged” someone, they will start getting sloppy about their
looks and their hygiene. During those first few magical,
euphoric nights out, you’d get all dolled up: comb your hair,
shave, wear deodorant, wash your crotch, and so on. Why? So
your date will be impressed and attracted to you, which is
difficult to accomplish when you smell like sweaty balls and
your hair is greasy enough to double as a slip-and-slide. Once
people reach a comfortable level in dating, they often let their
appearance go all to hell. It makes you look totally lazy and
unreliable, and this will repel a woman like the remake of “The
Haunting” repels good reviews. Chicks dig a sharply dressed
man because it demonstrates confidence, along with showing
that you give a damn. Try making even a semblance of an
effort to look slick and maintain basic hygiene so you can
continue being that sexy bag of irresistible manliness.
Rule: Men should pay for everything.
Why you should break it: The assumption that a man always
has to pay for the whole date is ridiculous. Is the woman too
poor to ever pay for dinner or a drink? If a chick is going to
take financial advantage of you from the get-go and won’t
even consider buying you a drink or dinner, she’s looking for a
sugar daddy and not a partner. The ideal balance would be
one where the guy pays sometimes, the woman pays
sometimes, and then the rest of the time, each go Dutch.
Screw dating rules–women are always bitching about wanting
equal rights, so they can get their wish and pony up for dinner
once in a while like men do.