Please I need constructive criticism of these bars. They aint mine tho"...

Song Of a Soul.....

Sunday Morning Vibes
i'm thankful that i'm still alive
should be in church /but/ my flesh decides to take five
take a break//
from tha weeks hustling// my Souls strugglin'
but tha Body needs comforting....
from tha punishing schedule// Soul's in need of fuel
wrestling with tha Body but it loses that duel
...biased mind....
its in cahoots with tha Body
tells my Soul "Go to church, but you aint taking Body"
my Body celebrates
grabs a pen n grabs some paper
puffs on a roach n tells my Soul; "i'll see you later"
now ma Soul's all shook up, in tha room corner
contemplating what he gon tell tha Father....
...as his vessel rebels,
he's like a snail with no shell
Like Alfred with No Bell
Pause
Alfred had NoBel.....
ok
Sou'ls in a good mood// i mean Soul's a good dude
he dont take it to Heart
cos He knowz Hearts Bodys Dude...
Hmmm
What to do/ What to do/ What would Jesus Do?
Turns to the Guardian Angel; "See what i'm going thru?"
Dude dont care, gonna be on Earth for like 90 years
Then its all me,
Will it be Fire or will be Cheers?
meehn!!! i'm outta here....
but he knows he cant;
Body's starting to pant
choking on d roach, eyes starting to slant...
Then Mind speaks....
"Yo Bud, you dont look so sweet, put down that spliff
go lie down for a minute"
Body obliges;
Soul rolls his eyes, scanning thru the Movie that is their Life....
"Lord, i'm falling"
it'll be Night Eternal with the Son of the Morning
n dis selfish dude dont care
he wont be tha one dats burning....
selfish twit// cares only for cash, ass, liquor n sleep
plus the words he pens occasionally on a sheet
Borderline atheist
Lord i'm losing my Patience...
"How do i cut off my nose n still save face?"
No time for riddles
Body's Gasping, clutching his middle
Soul returns home..n the Reaper puts away His sickle.....
The Angel Smiles.