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Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. - Romance - Nairaland

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Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 2:21pm On Sep 17, 2014
Good day everyone,pls I need mature minds here. my boyfriend and I have been dating for close to 2 years now but recently, I've been seeing signs that the relationship is about to crash and he might call it a day sooner than later. It all started when my sister was brought in to live with us some few months ago. Ever since then, he's not been the person I used to know. He gets angry at the slightest of misunderstanding, he doesn't communicate with me any longer, he doesn't show affection as he used to and he also puts all the blame on me at any of his wrong doings. The worst thing is that he now focuses more on my sister than even me. There was a time he took her to the club without my consent. At times, he showers her with gifts and money but I just overlook it. They even gossip about me.
On this particular day, I asked him why his attitude has changed drastically and he simply told me that our relationship is not a big priority and I shouldn't bother about the situation of our relationship. That left me in deep thought. I'm confused, what should I do? Should I just send my sister away or allow my relationship to slide? Even if I send my sister away, what's the probability that the relationship will be back to normal. Thanks.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by vizkiz: 2:29pm On Sep 17, 2014
your problem started the day you started living with him....like wtf...you even had to let your sister join the crew


Demmit!!! He needs breathing space...let this guy explore, make him miss you angry

2 Likes

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Nobody: 2:40pm On Sep 17, 2014
You should know that lizard can not enter unopened wall,the dog that happy unpon seeing you suddenly start bark at you,then there is coma somewhere.You already know the coma then do the needfull and enjoy your boy.By the way what is the problem with some of you girls,why living permanently with a guy that have not take you to the alter and also attaching your sister,you better do the right thing now or the guy go chop you and your sister and dump.

1 Like

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by gede7744(f): 2:42pm On Sep 17, 2014
u guys are not married and u are living like a couple. u even brought ur sis to live there.

one- u are bothering him

secondly, u are making him spend money that will/may not yield interest

lastly, u are hindering him from getting another lay and in conclusion, u are selling urself cheap

is not only ur sis that should leave, u also shld follow asap
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by henrinity(m): 2:47pm On Sep 17, 2014
gede7744: u guys are not married and u are living like a couple. u even brought ur sis to live there.

one- u are bordering him

secondly, u are making him spend money that will/may not yield interest

lastly, u are hindering him from getting another lay and in conclusion, u are selling urself cheap

is not only ur sis that should leave, u also shld follow asap
op ..listen to her,she has said it all

4 Likes

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Gboliwe: 2:57pm On Sep 17, 2014
UrennaNkoli: Good day everyone,pls I need mature minds here. my boyfriend and I have been dating for close to 2 years now but recently, I've been seeing signs that the relationship is about to crash and he might call it a day sooner than later. It all started when my sister was brought in to live with us some few months ago. Ever since then, he's not been the person I used to know. He gets angry at the slightest of misunderstanding, he doesn't communicate with me any longer, he doesn't show affection as he used to and he also puts all the blame on me at any of his wrong doings. The worst thing is that he now focuses more on my sister than even me. There was a time he took her to the club without my consent. At times, he showers her with gifts and money but I just overlook it. They even gossip about me.
On this particular day, I asked him why his attitude has changed drastically and he simply told me that our relationship is not a big priority and I shouldn't bother about the situation of our relationship. That left me in deep thought. I'm confused, what should I do? Should I just send my sister away or allow my relationship to slide? Even if I send my sister away, what's the probability that the relationship will be back to normal. Thanks.

Sorry if you will feel insulted, just remember I apologised before I commented.

What kind of parents do you have? What kind of upbringing did your parents give to you and your sister? Do you not have elders in your family?
I am seriously ashamed for you!

You not only live in your boyfriend's crib, you also carried your sister along and you even have the nerve to publicize it. Na wa!

I have no advice for you than that you should start taking basic "home training" lessons from a responsible family
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Bamss1: 3:08pm On Sep 17, 2014
Please nobody should comment on this thread again, evrytin has already been said.

Am sure she's already packing.

1 Like

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Nobody: 3:09pm On Sep 17, 2014
Consider yourself lucky many women didn't know their man had no value for them until they tied the knots. This man has shown you his true self he does not value you and a woman should only be with a man who values her. Free him.

As for your sis talk to her, let her know what she did is low then you both pack your things and vamoose from his house who knows he probably wants you guys to leave him be.

1 Like

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 4:08pm On Sep 17, 2014
gede7744: u guys are not married and u are living like a couple. u even brought ur sis to live there.

one- u are bordering him

secondly, u are making him spend money that will/may not yield interest

lastly, u are hindering him from getting another lay and in conclusion, u are selling urself cheap

is not only ur sis that should leave, u also shld follow asap

Gede7744, vizkiz, You both can't understand why I brought her in to stay with us. She was left with no choice.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 4:09pm On Sep 17, 2014
andromida: Consider yourself lucky many women didn't know their man had no value for them until they tied the knots. This man has shown you his true self he does not value you and a woman should only be with a man who values her. Free him.

As for your sis talk to her, let her know what she did is low then you both pack your things and vamoose from his house who knows he probably wants you guys to leave him be.
Thanks dear.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MadCow1: 4:10pm On Sep 17, 2014
vizkiz: your problem started the day you started living with him....like wtf...you even had to let your sister join the crew


Demmit!!! He needs breathing space...let this guy explore, make him miss you angry

#Good Point..
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 4:12pm On Sep 17, 2014
Gboliwe:

Sorry if you will feel insulted, just remember I apologised before I commented.

What kind of parents do you have? What kind of upbringing did your parents give to you and your sister? Do you not have elders in your family?
I am seriously ashamed for you!

You not only live in your boyfriend's crib, you also carried your sister along and you even have the nerve to publicize it. Na wa!

I have no advice for you than that you should start taking basic "home training" lessons from a responsible family
You simply can't understand why she was brought in to stay with me. There waz no need for your insults at all. I told you I needed mature minds.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MadCow1: 4:13pm On Sep 17, 2014
Gboliwe:

Sorry if you will feel insulted, just remember I apologised before I commented.

What kind of parents do you have? What kind of upbringing did your parents give to you and your sister? Do you not have elders in your family?
I am seriously ashamed for you!

You not only live in your boyfriend's crib, you also carried your sister along and you even have the nerve to publicize it. Na wa!

I have no advice for you than that you should start taking basic "home training" lessons from a responsible family

I understand you..

BUT!! Brotherly.. The hussle is real out there.. I have seen this type of living relationship before between lovers. Infact, I lived in a compound where one of the guys had a live in girl friend that cooked and washed his shiit.. And they were both both students.

You dont know what her financial situation is like. I am sure nobody wants to be put in a situation where they would have to be dependent on another for shelter.

1 Like

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Gboliwe: 4:14pm On Sep 17, 2014
UrennaNkoli:
You simply can't understand why she was brought in to stay with me. There waz no need for your insults at all. I told you I needed mature minds.
Yes, you are 100% correct! I simply cannot understand why you not only went to live with your boyfriend but took your sister along too. I can't understand it, no matter how I try.

As for the insults, I apologised already didn't you see it?
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by gede7744(f): 4:15pm On Sep 17, 2014
UrennaNkoli:

Gede7744, vizkiz, You both can't understand why I brought her in to stay with us. She was left with no choice.

maybe u can enlighten me. d man is not ur husband in d first place so he is not obligated to take care of u and ur sis. if he misbehave no court on earth can section him cos u don't have any written agreement or any witness

d best u can go is get accomodation and let him help u d little way he can
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Gboliwe: 4:16pm On Sep 17, 2014
MadCow1:

I understand you..

BUT!! Brotherly.. The hussle is real out there.. I have seen this type of living relationship before between lovers. Infact, I lived in a compound where one of the guys had a live in girl friend that cooked and washed his shiit.. And they were both both students.

You dont know what her financial situation is like. I am sure nobody wants to be put in a situation where they would have to be dependent on another for shelter.

Do not make excuses for stuff like this. It is not right! Call a fork a fork!

Students who live with their boyfriends try to hide it from family, they don't do it proudly. Two different scenarios
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by chimerase2: 4:16pm On Sep 17, 2014
U co habit with a guy and u expect the relationship to last or him to marry u undecided
See dota of zion believe u me not all guys re like me ok undecided
So ua issue of sending ua sista packing u re funny abi mak ua sista no send u packing
Ma dear u re now a tenant ua sista is de madam nw so deal with dat
After the Man of God has finished killing ua cat and sees a fresh cat u mumuly brought in and u wn spoil show for amu angry
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MadCow1: 4:19pm On Sep 17, 2014
Gboliwe: Do not make excuses for stuff like this. It is not right! Call a fork a fork!


A fork is always a fork.. grin



But lets also keep things real, Desparate times call for desparate measures.. The girl is probably on the grind and had to do something to keep head above water.

2 Likes

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 4:20pm On Sep 17, 2014
chimerase2: U co habit with a guy and u expect the relationship to last or him to marry u undecided
See dota of zion believe u me not all guys re like me ok undecided
So ua issue of sending ua sista packing u re funny abi mak ua sista no send u packing
Ma dear u re now a tenant ua sista is de madam nw so deal with dat
After the Man of God has finished killing ua cat and sees a fresh cat u mumuly brought in and u wn spoil show for amu angry

I said that I had my reasons for bringing my sister to live with me....what happened left her with no choice.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Gboliwe: 4:22pm On Sep 17, 2014
MadCow1:


A fork is always a fork.. grin



But lets also keep things real, Desparate times call for desparate measures.. The girl is probably on the grind and had to do something to keep head above water.
dirty mind!

Well, if a girl has got to go all out, atleast, let her respect her family.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Nobody: 4:23pm On Sep 17, 2014
I would move out, if I could.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MadCow1: 4:23pm On Sep 17, 2014
Nkoli,


Please lets start from here; Why are you living with a Man you are not married to..
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by chimerase2: 4:26pm On Sep 17, 2014
UrennaNkoli:
I said that I had my reasons for bringing my sister to live with me....what happened left her with no choice.
bia urenna if ua story is anytin to go by den kiss ua relationship with the guy bye bye
Is obivious u can't win him back so plan on wat to do with ua life
So next time don't ever try to co habit with a man if u do dat u re devaluing ua self and it will make him not act first if he were to marry u undecided
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by Gboliwe: 4:26pm On Sep 17, 2014
MadCow1: Nkoli,


Please lets start from here; Why are you living with a Man you are not married to..
Good question!

I will be amazed if you get an answer, you will be completely shocked at the answer. #propheticsaying
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 4:26pm On Sep 17, 2014
MadCow1: Nkoli,


Please lets start from here; Why are you living with a Man you are not married to..
Hmmm......that's a question for another day. lipsrsealed
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by UrennaNkoli(f): 4:27pm On Sep 17, 2014
chimerase2: bia urenna if ua story is anytin to go by den kiss ua relationship with the guy bye bye
Is obivious u can't win him back so plan on wat to do with ua life
So next time don't ever try to co habit with a man if u do dat u re devaluing ua self and it will make him not act first if he were to marry u undecided
Thanks a lot dear.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by zeb04(f): 4:28pm On Sep 17, 2014
UrennaNkoli:
I said that I had my reasons for bringing my sister to live with me....what happened left her with no choice.
let's pretend we understand the reason behind your sister's stay but what's the reason behind yours
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MadCow1: 4:33pm On Sep 17, 2014
UrennaNkoli:
Hmmm......that's a question for another day. lipsrsealed


Sadly... The answer to this question affects how reasonable my answer to your thread would be.

1 Like

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by keypad1: 4:47pm On Sep 17, 2014
ashawo ladies, sleeping and living in their boyfriends without marriage. Shame.

You are a rented prostitute until he marries you, leave his house.
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MizMyColi(f): 4:47pm On Sep 17, 2014
Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MadCow1: 4:53pm On Sep 17, 2014
keypad1: ashawo ladies, sleeping and living in their boyfriends without marriage. Shame.

You are a rented prostitute until he marries you, leave his house.


[b]Lets assume she comes from a poor home where her parents can not afford to finance her education fully and all that stuff.

If she leaves his house, would you pay for a New house for her?!


Make una cool down with una judgement o!!

This is why the Bible said Judge not.. Until you walk her entire journey in her shoes, you have not earned the right to judge her or anybody else.

As e dey do you no be so e dey do others.. A girl was on Nairaland here begging us for money to augument her tuition and stuff so she wouldnt lose her partial scholarship in a foreign university and none of you were willing to help. If she goes there now and gets a Boyfriend that she has to live with for the duration of her schooling, you people would be the first to call her a Hoe..


Sometimes, Nairalanders can act like souless individuals.. Shey na we all dey beg una since to contribute on the TeHN thread and all of una don carry face up like say una no see the thread.. angry



STOP ATTACKING HER UNTIL YOU KNOW WHY!!

Nkoli.. I really am curious to hear why though.. [/b]

2 Likes

Re: Urgent Advice: Pls How Do I Solve This. by MizMyColi(f): 4:57pm On Sep 17, 2014
^^^ MadCows don't spew this kind of wisdom.
I hereby refrain from referring to you as one.

I'll just get another name.

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