Everyday we are inundated with how and why men cheat
This is for the ladies ,power has changed hands

How to cheat without being caught.

1. Make sure your lover is out of town and preferably in a different geopolitical region.
If you and hubby live in Abuja he should live in Lagos.if you and hubby in Makurdi,he had better be in Owerri and when you do your rendezvous,you must be discreet.It's safer for you to visit him at his location than him to visit yours.
If possible,meet at a third location where no one knows you both.Conferences and seminars out of town are good places to meet

2.On no account must you call him with your known phone number.get a special phone just for him and all your secrets will be safer.
If possible leave that phone at work on in your car and out of sight.Allow your husband access to your regular phone,FB etc.and act normal.


3.if he is a better man and you plan on having his babies and passing them off as your husband's you must make sure the man looks somewhat like your hubby .if your hubby is dark skinned,you don't want to choose Mike Ezuronye as your side bobo and if you and your husband are light skinned ,your bobo had better not be Segun Arinze.
Other features like big bulging eyes and red lips must also be put into consideration.

4.In bed,you must make sure not to call out his name mistakenly.That is suicidal. A good way to avoid this is to call everyone honey or sweetie or big daddy .you don't want to be with your husband Kunle and be shouting Chukwuemeka.
You may get hurt.

5. Get a chime of some signal for the door to tell when your husband comes home so you are not caught unawares and your secret comes out.You must be alert and vigilant and ready to switch off all devices in case.

6. If your side bobo likes red lingerie and you got some red lingerie to mesmerize him,please do keep them out of sight and keep wearing your Mary Amaka nightie with your husband if that's what he is used to.You don't want to start answering unnecessary questions .
If you and hubby are missionary people please keep it that way and save the jihad style for your lover.


I will come up with other tips later




[size=4pt]Kai,nobody should attack me o,na high powered joke,I believe in absolute faithfulness but I want to see reactions[/size]

Create in me a new heart Oh Lord and renew a right spirit within YOU

This is why I don't login to nairaland at night

At Tsunami/jihad style of doing the do

Kai @OP. You no try at all o. This 'joke' is expensive. This seed you've planted in the hearts of women will turn to trees too difficult to uproot.

You will definitely get reactions with this.

*taking notes on the side*

abomination!!!where i come from in isokoland,its a taboo.i'll rather kill my self and commit suicide,than indulging in adultery.

This might be a joke but someone out there could take notes of it and put it to practice. Let's be careful of what we joke about on a very public open-to-all forum.

There is no secret under the sun..even the walls have ears, you can fool some people sometimes but you can't fool all the people all the time. Married women take note please don't try this at home.

Why all the screams of abomination? Till we decide that cheating is not acceptable for any gender we should not be in shock when women are also learning coping mechanism to cheat.
Nigerian women too are polygamous in nature .

Aluta do you sell matrass? Mat is too hard for me

Bertbert: Married women take note please don't try this at home.

I think it should be please don't try this at home, at the office or anywhere.

This joke is rated DANGEROUS. Those engaged in it are highly trained professionals.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I repeat DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

sheniqua:

4.In bed,you must make sure not to call out his name mistakenly.That is suicidal. A good way to avoid this is to call everyone honey or sweetie or big daddy .you don't want to be with your husband Kunle and be shouting Chukwuemeka
You may get hurt.

Op are you okay? What kind of tribal bigotry is this you are insinuating by putting kunle first before chukwuemeka.

I cannot take that. Change your post to and let chukwuemeka come before kunle so that the husband tha cannot perform is igbo, but the sexually fit lover boy is yoruba.

Do that now or I will report your thread and close it for violating nairaland rule 3. Nonsense!

Flee from every appearances that suggests infidelity, Husband be faithful to your Wife, Wife be faithful to your Husband. "Side pleasures" does not worth the pain it would eventually cause though it may presently seem like bliss but just for a while!

I don't get it..this joke of yours is expensive.are you encouraging unfaithfulness and adultery or what?no woman in her right sense will do this owning to the fact that nothing is hidden under the sun...sorry to bust your bubble

This one nah super-expensive joke....lol....

D funny tin is " were I come frm".....if a married woman cheat' she ll b havn nightmare till she confesses n eventually die! Bad nightmaressss

It seems there are lots of styles out there am totally oblivious of. Just yesterday I heard someone talk about drunken Sparrow, dancing helicopter, kunta, kinte and Fanta, oshodi take down. Today, this Op came up with the jihad style, it looks like am not keeping pace with latest trends

Story for the gods. I know one girl when I was doing nysc that used to flirt from man to man.the husband seemes to be a great guy though I just wondered why she was treating him like that.

ahnie: abomination!!!where i come from in isokoland,its a taboo.i'll rather kill my self and commit suicide,than indulging in adultery.

Hehehe...too expensive for a joke anyway hahahaha

coco,i know what i'm saying.if you try such...you'll go insane.

cococandy: Story
for the gods. I know one girl when I was doing nysc that used to flirt
from man to man.the husband seemes to be a great guy though I just
wondered why she was treating him like that.

The babe is yet to go insane
Anyway e no consign me
But just know those are superstitions

Not that it's not wrong to do such o.

I just noticed that since I came here,they talk about witches wizards etc etc with so much belief.
You'd wonder if they are with us in the 21st century.

I'm sure innocent women suffering from post partum depression would be accused of cheating on their husbands to bring such curses upon themselves.

Or women with negative rhesus factor ish who can't have another living child if they fail to take the necessary injection after their first pregnancy will also be labeled as witches who are devouring their babies in their wombs.

Much of this place is still steeped in some sort of ignorance.
It's perplexing.

ahnie: coco,i know what i'm saying.if you try such...you'll go insane.

There are No ancestors disturbing cheating wife or whatever.those stories are bullcrap to keep the woman(only) in perpetual fear.

If you have a randy man as a husband, you both can decide to have an open marriage........so everyone comes home satisfied and fulfilled after all sex isn't love

Ancestors are dead relatives right?
Na wa. Nigeria

zeb04: There are No ancestors disturbing cheating wife or whatever.those stories are bullcrap to keep the woman(only) in perpetual fear

ahnie: abomination!!!where i come from in isokoland,its a taboo.i'll rather kill my self and commit suicide,than indulging in adultery.

Sister biko wats the difference between commting suicide and killing ur self?

nice insight..but i can only speak for myself.

cococandy: The babe
is yet to go insane
Anyway e no consign me
But just know those are superstitions

Not that it's not wrong to do such o.

I just noticed that since I came here,they talk about witches wizards
etc etc with so much belief.
You'd wonder if they are with us in the 21st century.

I'm sure innocent women suffering from post partum depression would be
accused of cheating on their husbands to bring such curses upon
themselves.

Or women with negative rhesus factor ish who can't have another living
child if they fail to take the necessary injection after their first
pregnancy will also be labeled as witches who are devouring their babies
in their wombs.

Much of this place is still steeped in some sort of ignorance.
It's perplexing.

are you talking from xperience...?please share[quote
author=zeb04]There are No ancestors disturbing cheating wife or
whatever.those stories are bullcrap to keep the woman(only) in perpetual
fear.

If you have a randy man as a husband, you both can decide to have an
open marriage........so everyone comes home satisfied and fulfilled
after all sex isn't love[/quote]

As I was saying ahnie
So I was gisting with my mil I told her about that girl I knew during my nysc who was fond of sleeping around with those ph oil workers for money even to point of getting angry with me if I refuse any of their advances, telling me I should just say yes and go with her in case I didn't want to do anything. That she won't mind doing and collecting the money (yea it was that bad)
My mil was like 'ah she must have done juju so that the ancestors won't see her'

Oh dear
I couldn't help laughing sha.

I thought at first they said the man will die.
Later they said it's not the man but the woman will go crazy
Later they said it the children and not the parents. That the children will get sick and die one by one.
Finally they said it wasn't all of the above again but that the woman will have difficult labor and die in labor or the children will die while being birthed.
Or the family will have some misfortune or the other.

It just dawned on me that anyhow you look at it,it seems like whatever happens in a family must be the woman's fault.if she has narrow pelvis that can't let her have a normal delivery but requires surgery,it is assumed she cheated and that is why she has difficult labor.instead of looking for medical or whatever solutions to what's going on,the woman is looked upon to confess adultery.

Smh.
And that the women themselves are propagating such misinformation is alarming.

I was telling my mil about the rhesus factor ish and she looking at me like she saw a ghost.
Who knows how many ignorant women that may have been unjustly condemned because they refused to confess adultery and save their unborn children from being taken by the ancestors(dead relatives)

Phew
*exhales*

I don't want to cheat on my husband. I pray God gives me the Grace

ahnie: nice insight..but i can only speak for myself.

Yes darling. Be faithful to your husband and respect him because of the love and affection you have for him. Not because of the fear of dead ancestors.
To me that's not true faithfulness or loyalty.
some of those women if they weren't afraid of the superstition would have been sleeping around. That means in their mind they are not really faithful.

If I were a man,I'd prefer a lady is true to me because she desires no other man than because she feels hounded by dead spirits.

Have a nice day

God damn women!

Snoop Dogg was right when he said "BITCHES AIN'T SHIT BUT HOES AND TRICKS"

By the way can I get your number op? haha just kidding!

ahnie: are you talking from xperience...?please share

half the stories we were told by our grand parents ( as kids or grown ups where just to keep us in check( you can agree to that or not) and the insanity stories were one of them.

Since you are so inquisitive, you can try it out to get firsthand knowledge.