A couple were planning to get married, and as custom demands the Husband to be went to he girls parents to ask for her hand in marriage which her parents accepted. On giving the list for the necessary things the groom has to purchase for the family the bride price inclusive, the sum total was outrageous.

The guy and his family left with the list. When the lady in question was told by her husband to be the outrageous amount her Parents gave him, she now advised that he should do what he can and she will talk to her parents.
After pleading with her parents, her parents agreed and everything regarding the marriage ceremony was done.

As she got Married to her husband and his family, his family began to insult her that she was soo cheap and desperate, that that was why she begged her Parents to cut down on somethings and accept what her husband would give them .

What do you think? Is it wrong as a lady to talk your parents into reducing the total cost the groom to be has to pay on her?

The guy's family' sfoolish. Why dont they insult their son who couldnt live up to his responsibilities. Infact they should be grateful to the girl for her understanding.

Some bride prices are outrageous yes, but its the tradition. I'd assume that people would have stopped complaining about such things by now.

Talk of expensive
You should visit my village and hear the cost of marriage, or even burial
By the time u buy all the cows required for only the village elders, and u then arrange all the george material and bags of rice required for the village mothers, then u can come to the family eldest son, and finally to the list - which in itself is a clear reflection of all u already spent so far

Our women are expensive, and rightly so!
We dont want poor inlars

whitelexi:

Talk of expensive
You should visit my village and hear the cost of marriage, or even burial
By the time u buy all the cows required for only the village elders, and u then arrange all the george material and bags of rice required for the village mothers, then u can come to the family eldest son, and finally to the list - which in itself is a clear reflection of all u already spent so far

[b]Our women are expensive, and rightly so![/b]We don't want poor inlars

Who would have thought you can be this sensible

Ujujoan:

Who would have thought you can be this sensible

I meant "Our Women", Uju is not an Imo state name, its an Anambra/Enugu name so u no follow ohhh

whitelexi:

I meant "Our Women", Uju is not an Imo state name, its an Anambra/Enugu name so u no follow ohhh

Oh, well what can I say, you cant teach an old dog new tricks.

So Imo state eh, I guess that explains a lot of things

it is for this reason i am firmly against d idea of bride price. . . thank God my mum agrees with me so there will no such rubbish at my wedding (if i get married)

where does the love come in then if d price paid for her hand is all that matters. . . I think it is a silly and archaic tradition to sell ur child off like cattle!

Thank Godness I am Ibo
I am only required to deposit 23naira by custom

Ujujoan:

Oh, well what can I say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

So Imo state eh, I guess that explains a lot of things

It explains nothing new. A man is blessed if his wife is from Imo, but he and only he will know how much she's worth and throwing a few quid away at the people who brought her up so Impeccably well will do him no harm

HR.hotness:

it is for this reason i am firmly against d idea of bride price. . . thank God my mum agrees with me so there will no such rubbish at my wedding (if i get married)

where does the love come in then if d price paid for her hand is all that matters. . . I think it is a silly and archaic tradition to sell ur child off like cattle!

Paying of Bride Price its just a harmless tradition. I dont see anything wrong in it.

Nobody says the pide price paid is all that matters. Its just a sign of respect to the family of the girl. Remember you dont just go and snatch a girl and run away. She belonged to a family before you came along. A family that cared for her and nutured her. Giving Bride Price dosent mean you are buying the girl, it means you are showing appreciation for all the years her family took care of her.

Ujujoan:

Paying of Bride Price its just a harmless tradition. I don't see anything wrong in it.

Nobody says the pide price paid is all that matters. Its just a sign of respect to the family of the girl. Remember you don't just go and snatch a girl and run away. She belonged to a family before you came along. A family that cared for her and nutured her. Giving Bride Price dosent mean you are buying the girl, it means you are showing appreciation for all the years her family took care of her.

If this were true, most people wouldnt use this as a tool of obedience. "Remember I paid your brideprice so you haver to do this and that"

HR.hotness:

it is for this reason i am firmly against d idea of bride price. . . thank God my mum agrees with me so there will no such rubbish at my wedding (if i get married)

where does the love come in then if d price paid for her hand is all that matters. . . I think it is a silly and archaic tradition to sell ur child off like cattle!  

That's touchy. Tradition is what it is. Someone has to pay sth. You could pay dowry on the man.  

KarmaMod:

If this were true, most people wouldnt use this as a tool of obedience. "Remember I paid your brideprice so you haver to do this and that"

Dont be silly, most men will still lord over women, even if the didnt pay their bride price.

whitelexi:

It explains nothing new. A man is blessed if his wife is from Imo, but he and only he will know how much she's worth and throwing a few quid away at the people who brought her up so Impeccably well will do him no harm

Come stop trying to be tribalistic. A man is lucky if he finds a good wife, it has nothing to do with Imo state or Anambra.

Ujujoan:

Paying of Bride Price its just a harmless tradition. I don't see anything wrong in it.

Nobody says the pide price paid is all that matters. Its just a sign of respect to the family of the girl. Remember you don't just go and snatch a girl and run away. She belonged to a family before you came along. A family that cared for her and nutured her. Giving Bride Price dosent mean you are buying the girl, it means you are showing appreciation for all the years her family took care of her.

she belongs to no one! the idea that one person belongs to another is simply atrocious. . . how is the ownership of a human being different to the ownership of livestock. i''m sorry but it still seems rather silly to me

if u insist d bridepice is only a gesture then let d groom decide what he is willing to give. . . i'm sorry but making demands simply implies that ur selling ur child off, thats d only way it can be seen.

KarmaMod:

If this were true, most people wouldnt use this as a tool of obedience. "Remember I paid your brideprice so you haver to do this and that"

Blackmail you mean. There are so many ways a man determined can do that.

Pennywise:

That's touchy. Tradition is what it is. Someone has to pay sth. You could pay dowry on the man.

the way i understand it, a dowry is token gift brought into d matrimonial home to aid the success of the union. . . it isnt given to anybody and ther definitely isnt a set amount being demanded. why shd a family then demand outrageous amounts from the groom. . . i still insist it reeks of slavery

Ujujoan:

Come stop trying to be tribalistic. A man is lucky if he finds a good wife, it has nothing to do with Imo state or Anambra.

Its not tribalistic, i didnt even compare imo with anambra, i just said our women are worth every penny spent on them, and yes! they are expensive to the core.

Stop trying to use funny psychologies on me, it wont work

Hmmmmm. . . .all these Easterners people sef . . .even the surposed enlighthened ones are the reveling in this "extorsion" in the name of tradition.

Anyway, we are watching

Cost of wedding nowadays is rocketing higher past the Houston Rockets!!

Some families are literally selling thier daughters to the highest bidders!!

this bride price of a thing needs to be abolished,how can one spend over 6 million for bride price stuff

i must say its worst in d east,especially d igbo culture,im an igbo girl but i must say d truth

don't be silly, most men will still lord over women, even if the didnt pay their bride price.

What are you talking about? and no one is being "silly". It is a known fact that some husbands bring up this "brideprice" in arguements. Blah blah dont you remember that I paid this and that. Difference between "lording" and sheer blackmail.

whitelexi:

Its not tribalistic, i didnt even compare imo with anambra, i just said our women are worth every penny spent on them, and yes! they are expensive to the core.

Stop trying to use funny psychologies on me, it wont work

You said you meant 'your women' and that dosent include me cos I'm from Anambra.

And you are wrong, a good/expensive women hardly has anything to do with the person's place of origin.

Trust me, if I use any sort of psychology on you, it will work  

MrCrackles:

Cost of wedding nowadays is rocketing higher past the Houston Rockets!!

Some families are literally selling their daughters to the highest bidders!!

Where did you get your statistcs from  

whatever90:

this bride price of a thing needs to be abolished,how can one spend over 6 million for bride price stuff

i must say its worst in d east,especially d igbo culture,I'm an igbo girl but i must say d truth

Lmao. I wonder where Hollandis got his "23 naira" theory from  

whatever90:

this bride price of a thing needs to be abolished,how can one spend over 6 million for bride price stuff

i must say its worst in d east,especially d igbo culture,I'm an igbo girl but i must say d truth

#

I totally agree with u, it is being used as a front for extortion and it doesnt play well on the image of the girl, being "sold off into slavery" and all. . . plus its bad enough that u hav to have endless ceremonies that hav to be paid for

HR.hotness:

the way i understand it, a dowry is token gift brought into d matrimonial home to aid the success of the union. . . it isnt given to anybody and ther definitely isnt a set amount being demanded. why should a family then demand outrageous amounts from the groom. . . i still insist it reeks of slavery

"Brought by the woman" into the home where the man is head.Semantics. In certain cultures woe betide the woman if its found to be inadequate and the man therefore feels shortchanged. The man does not have that obligation.

Ujujoan:


Where did you get your statistcs from

cost of everything is skyrocketing these days. . . abi u no hear say credit crunch dey?

whatever90:

this bride price of a thing needs to be abolished,how can one spend over 6 million for bride price stuff

i must say its worst in d east,especially d igbo culture,I'm an igbo girl but i must say d truth

Now, that is juts pure propanganda, where did you get that from.

The only state I know gives outrageous Prices is Imo State and its no where nears 6 mil.

HR.hotness:

cost of everything is skyrocketing these days. . . abi u no hear say credit crunch dey?

So if the cost of things are high, you cut your coat according to your size. Bride Price has never stooped anybody from getting married.

KarmaMod:

Lmao. I wonder where Hollandis got his "23 naira" theory from  

really its terrible in d igbo culture,sm men run away naaa by d time they see d list and stuffs,though sm parts like anambra dont ask for too much,we call them d "yoruba igbo"

HR.hotness:

#

I totally agree with u, it is being used as a front for extortion and it doesnt play well on the image of the girl, being "sold off into slavery" and all. . . plus its bad enough that u hav to have endless ceremonies that hav to be paid for

it is too much,my cousin once refused and told them dat its wat her husband can offer ,they will give,it was my old man dat had to help them put

for christsake must everyone be stinkinly rich b4 they marry in d igbo culture?

KarmaMod:

Lmao. I wonder where Hollandis got his "23 naira" theory from  

ask any Nsugbe woman

Pennywise:

"Brought by the woman" into the home where the man is head.Semantics. In certain cultures woe betide the woman if its found to be inadequate and the man therefore feels shortchanged. The man does not have that obligation.

in contrast the bride price is paid to the extended family of the girl, who in most cases had no part to play in their upbringing. . . and they still hav d guts to actually write out a bloody list?!!

at least with a dowry, paid either by the man or the woman, it stays in the matrimonial home!

Ujujoan:

Now, that is juts pure propanganda, where did you get that from.

The only state I know gives outrageous Prices is Imo State and its no where nears 6 mil.

call a spade a spade my dear

my eldest brother got married to an NGWA woman and almost went back to australia with a dry pocket