“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

Before the need for submission, there must first be acceptance. Marriage is not a difficult institution when there is a leading husband and a wife who is willing to accept his leadership. But the type we have this day is one where there are two heads, an unwilling-to-submit wife or an irresponsible head. Issues will abound in such relationship.

Although, the above verse would raise a lot of opinions as to the case of being submissive or not but I’ll try and do justice to it on a ‘different’ note.

Wives are to submit (yield to be controlled) to their own husband but when you allow your ego, status, femininity (misinterpreted) or achievements to influence you, there would be issues in your marriage. There cannot be two sailors in a ship, so is it with marriage.

Submission is a critical factor in marriage. It determines the cooperation, growth, agreement, orderliness and the success of any marriage. If he’s leading and you’re not following, you cannot arrive at your destination. And if he’s not leading and you’re following, where are you going? Consider this issue before you make any further move.

How can I be submissive as a woman? To answer correctly, the following questions would help you narrow down your answers and your response on the following would determine the kind of relationship you’d have.

1. Which Kind of Husband Would He Become?

The kind of husband you marry will determine whether you’ll be submissive or not. Study him carefully and prayerfully while you’re courting.

Let me share a real life story with you. A man was dating a lady for marriage in view. They were in the same department in the university. Along the line they were in love but before it get further into her, she prayed about the relationship. God revealed something shocking to her. She saw herself on a ladder and this man was telling her to come down. All through her stay in the university, he was all over her till after service before she boldly ended the relationship. What do you think would happen if she didn’t pray?

Prayer would reveal future issues and diligent study would make you discover his nature and personality.

Some men are bossy, some are mamma’s boy, some obstinate and some are archaic in their thinking.

The Bossy type believes you’re an option and he sees himself as the main man in the marriage. He gives the rule and you must do it without compromise.

The Obstinate believes that his own opinion and suggestions are what you must adhere to whether it is wrong and right.

The Archaic-thinking-man believes that how is father ruled his mother is what is still obtainable in this 21st century. He is not given to change and doesn’t believe in new ideas.

Mamma’s boy are tied to their mom’s apron. His mother still have a major role to play in his marriage. Even when the scripture says he must leave and cleave to his wife, he is still joined to her. If you marry this type of man, you will be submitting to him and his mother.

2. Is He Leading or Driving You?

Regardless of the category he falls into, you must also check if he’s a leader or a driver. A leader carries you along as he shows example on how to go about it.

Whatever influences a man will determine his headship. Some have ego, status, wealth and their achievements as their major influence in the relationship.

When a man drives you, he will use you for his own benefit, purpose or gain. He’s the type that believes he does you a favor by marrying you. He won’t see marriage as an institution to learn and grow but a business platform. If you are married to any of these men other than the one whose influence is Christ, expect a tug of war kind of relationship.

3. Is He Helping or Hurting You?

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Eph. 5:25), also love her as your own bodies” (Eph. 5:28). This is the basic injunction of husbands in marriage.

A man that loves you will not hurt you. A man that loves you will help you grow to become better in life. He will add value to your life and bring out the best in you.

If you are married to a man that loves you as his own body, you won’t have problem submitting to him. But if he abuses, victimizes and makes you less better than when you met him, examine the relationship before you go any further.

Ladies, think, look and pray very well before you consider a man for marriage. Marriage is to be enjoyed when a man loves his wife as Christ loved the church and she submit to this kind of lordship. Anything apart from these would make a wreck of your marriage.

Ask yourself these 3 important questions and give honest answers! Don’t be carried away by ephemeral things (gift, false care, premarital sex etc) but consider the issue of submission before it becomes a problem. If you cannot submit to him, don’t accept his proposal.

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A very nice and thought provoking piece. God wil help me not to marry the wrong person in Jesus name. Amen

most ladies don't deserve a good husband.

single ladies, keep considering things and factors about a man o, as you are considering so many things, the older you get, the older you get, the more you near menopause.

Arsenate: most ladies don't deserve a good husband.

And you must have counted yourself as one of the good husbands? Talk of blowing your own trumpet. Let another be the judge.

SaMajeste:
And you must have counted yourself as one of the good husbands? Talk of blowing your own trumpet. Let another be the judge.

I don't know if I'll make a good husband, but if I turn out to be a bad one, I surely do not deserve any form of happiness.

I'm yet to read the whole piece, read your first point and just had to comment.

I don't quite get it, so a lady saw her bf telling her to come down from a ladder in the dream, that is reason enough to call it quits?

Ladies would be commenting as if the guys are ready to marry them.

Do you guys even realise how of these ladies that don't a real relationship talkless of marrying?






Who wants to marry these loudmouth fellows with nothing upstairs?

Noted ooo

Arsenate: I don't know if I'll make a good husband, but if I turn out to be a bad one, I surely do not deserve any form of happiness.

Ok. But since you are not even sure of yourself, how are you sure most women don't deserve good husbands?
Don't judge, that's all.

SaMajeste:
Ok. But since you are not even sure of yourself, how are you sure most women don't deserve good husbands?
Don't judge, that's all.

most women don't deserve good husbands because most of them were once fuuckk toys for numerous boys...

bennyrazz: single ladies, keep considering things and factors about a man o, as you are considering so many things, the older you get, the older you get, the more you near menopause.

why do y'all make it look like the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to remain single?
so freaking what if she nears menopause? The world's gonna end?

Arsenate: most women don't deserve good husbands because most of them were once fuuckk toys for numerous boys...

Your opinion. By the way, I hope you also believe that the numerous boys also do not deserve good wives? Continue judging while your 'most' women are living good lives.

bennyrazz: single ladies, keep considering things and factors about a man o, as you are considering so many things, the older you get, the older you get, the more you near menopause.

So it has become a crime for ladies to look before they leap? are you one of the men the Op described for ladies to avoid for you to make such a comment? Perhaps you are one of the contributors to the horrible marriages we have around.

Sophyrocks:

So it has become a crime for ladies to look before they leap? are you one of the men the Op described for ladies to avoid for you to make such a comment? Perhaps you are one of the contributors to the horrible marriages we have around.

no, it is not a crime for them to look before they leap but it is a crime when they become over materialistic and not contented with what they have or what they see at least a bird in hand is better than a thousand in the forest.

alutacontinua:


why do y'all make it look like the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to remain single?
so freaking what if she nears menopause? The world's gonna end?

when did you turn to "m" yea its not worse for a woman to remain single but to remain single without an offspring or someone to call you mummy is the worst thing especially when kids you can bare call you Aunty or your friends see you as not being a woman but a lady.

freecocoa: I'm yet to read the whole piece, read your first point and just had to comment.

I don't quite get it, so a lady saw her bf telling her to come down from a ladder in the dream, that is reason enough to call it quits?

I thought I was the only one thinking along this line. *smh

bennyrazz: when did you turn to "m" yea its not worse for a woman to remain single but to remain single without an offspring or someone to call you mummy is the worst thing especially when kids you can bare call you Aunty or your friends see you as not being a woman but a lady.

You don't have to get married to have children. I'll rather a lady goes for adoption or IVF or evwn baby-daddy business than get married to a useless jerk.
I was always a 'm', the 'f' thing was an experiment

Arsenate: most ladies don't deserve a good husband.

Why pls

alutacontinua:

You don't have to get married to have children. I'll rather a lady goes for adoption or IVF or evwn baby-daddy business than get married to a useless jerk.
I was always a 'm', the 'f' thing was an experiment

lmao

bennyrazz: no, it is not a crime for them to look before they leap but it is a crime when they become over materialistic and not contented with what they have or what they see at least a bird in hand is better than a thousand in the forest.

So point out where in the Op that implied that ladies should be materialistic and should not be contented with what they have. Point it out to me.

Sophyrocks:

So point out where in the Op that implied that ladies should be materialistic and should not be contented with what they have. Point it out to me.

iyam only writing generally about the useless checklist some women keep and tick does he drive a range rover sport? yes/no does he earn a digit with 6 zeros per month yes/no. Then while with their current bf, they will be stretching their necks towards men who have fatter pockets

bennyrazz: iyam only writing generally about the useless checklist some women keep and tick does he drive a range rover sport? yes/no does he earn a digit with 6 zeros per month yes/no. Then while with their current bf, they will be stretching their necks towards men who have fatter pockets

I see. you could have made that clear in your comment rather than making it look like the Op made no sense. Your comment implied that you do not agree with the Op's stance on looking before you leap.

Sophyrocks:

I see. you could have made that clear in your comment rather than making it look like the Op made no sense. Your comment implied that you do not agree with the Op's stance on looking before you leap.

looking before you leap means having a checklist abi?

bennyrazz: looking before you leap means having a checklist abi?

Considering many factors that affect marriage in the long term. Thats what looking before you leap means. You should learn to see things from a diffferent angle and not feed on things to encourage your paranoia. Nowhere did the Op talk about being materialistic so i dnt know why you should come up with the cliche of 'Reaching menopause' national anthem that people love to sing to ladies all the time like singleness is a disease or something.

Sophyrocks:

Considering many factors that affect marriage in the long term. Thats what looking before you leap means. You should learn to see things from a diffferent angle and not feed on things to encourage your paranoia. Nowhere did the Op talk about being materialistic so i dnt know why you should come up with the cliche of 'Reaching menopause' national anthem that people love to sing to ladies all the time like singleness is a disease or something.

I knew that part "menopause' would raise eyebrows but it was not intended as such, I intended it just to serve as a reminder to those second-guessing about everyman they see. Time is of essence to a woman but to a man, our tank is ever full and ready to offload and singleness is not a disease, but loneliness can be a disease or might lead to a life full of hate, confusion, bitterness, misery etc

CEOs of companies: "Graduates are not employable"
Men: "So many women are not 'marriable'"

Examine this:
While walking down the street, you both see a baby falling down, your babe doesn't move an inch to help the baby. You guys see a 'low life' person, your babe talks ill of them...no compassion. She talks ill of her Ex ALWAYS.
You check her history, it doesn't add up. Sassy, throws herself around, 100% Nollywood mentality, dirty, bad money manager etc

Which guy in his right senses won't see all these things? The fact is men read meanings to a lot of things. So before women start reading "Before you'd marry him", they should read "What men look for in a woman they want to marry".