wo1F:

This rebuttal Coming from a lady makes it even more sweet. Truth is Safarigirl is the female version of a male chauvinist. Most times I fail to get what her problem really is. Maybe its her petite physical structure, I don't know. But what I do know however is that she's loose with condescending words when it comes to her submissions here on nairaland.
I salute you for your unbiased and seemingly intelligent reply to the OP

I don't even consider this a rebuttal, because her point are not well aligned...not like the other thread was well aligned...lol...but I think it was better than this.
I really don't like when people are rude in arguments, it shows immaturity.

I will marry because there is need to do so. Honestly where are the God fearing women? I am sorry to say I'm yet to find one.. Men are more God fearing than women these days. Only a flash and a woman will just open everything

every mallam with him own kettle whats good for me might not be for you. choose whats best for you in your own very way.

safarigirl: oga, no be only me. Abi can you settle for less? After making up your mind that you must marry Genevieve, will you decide to marry Lepacious Bose because Genevieve is not available?

lmao.
Thats the picture.
Lepacious Bose to Genny?
That's spiritual attack!

Ladies and their incessant fights for some gross BS!!! *sigh* You lots really need to get to work.

Op you are on point...many women in Nigeria these days can marry anything just to bear Mrs somebody..marriage is supposed to be a union of genuine companionship, compatability, working together, genuine love and friendship. Because of desperation due to societal and family pressure or self serving interests, many women in Nigeria ends up in loveless marriages of convenience... The kind of self consolation words you hear from such women is "I go dey manage the man. At least people see am say I dey man house and I go get my respect." Rubbish!..gross stupidity on the woman part and a life imprisonment of the body, soul and emotions...yes nobody in life is perfect, but as a single woman, never give up ur expectations in a man u would like to marry and settle for less. Its not a tic tac toh..marriage is a good thing if u marry right...no be by force.. It is very unhealthy to live a lie..

I laugh when I see a girl who says, "we want to
be equals".
Women are made to be submissive.
Even their biology tell them so.
Women don't want to be led on cos they know
it's a man job.
Those are the role of a man.
Women already have their own role. I don't
know why they have eyes on those of the man.
The woman is the man of the house in her own
way.
The man is the man of the house in his own
way.
It's called team work.
And just because I'm the captain doesn't mean
I have no respect for the keeper or my
teammates.
"It's easy to say".
I can hear you say that.
Losers say that always.

ZUBY77: While you have some good points, you still mixed things up.

This whole thing has to do with the society you were born into.
Things change over time.

The same America you are trying to stamp as the good environment restricted women from voting.
But eventually relaxed the laws that restricted women from doing certain things.

Whether you like it or not, We have males and females on earth.
One is stronger than the other and when you are stronger (America) You decide for the weaker (Iraq, Libya etc).

In African context, a certain law made it that women doesn't get land allocations in their fathers place.
It was made so to encourage marriage.
If you decide not to get married, that's your business buy understand that you are not getting nothing from the Father.
You must either marry or make your own big money.
Even with your money, you are not allowed to have kids in your father's place.

So the marriage thing comes again.

When your desired man is not reachable, you can step down a little.
Yes, men do the same too.
I know thousands of men who wanted to marry Ini Edo but when it didn't work, they didn't go for Angelina Jolie, they stepped down.

So forget your biased opinion.

I have seen your posts where you argue with guys over football, it is something you have the right to do and must be encouraged but to tell your father that you want Brad Pitt or nobody else, then you must go out and look for Brad or don't come back because you can never be the only one who saw Brad on TV.


All in all, knowing when to cash in is important.
God blessed women in such a way that numerous men always come after them whether they are ugly or beautiful, it is left for the girls to be calculative and know when to cash in.

Stop dreaming, we live in a real world.

I think every Individual, male or female has the right to choose what kind of like they want to live inspire of what the society encourages. If they decide they want Angelina Jolie or nobody, then that choice should be respected. It's their life after all.

Kachisbarbie: The lady never said we should settle for less - I guess y'all misunderstood her...she meant, we shouldn't be blinded by physical looks, sometimes marriage goes beyond the physique...just marry someone you wanna wake up to everyday (and vice-versa)...that's just it
-Never settle for less - always settle for the best, but then we can't satisfactorily define less/best...no single human out there is less

I think the problem we have these days arises from poor comprehension...the lady used words like- Obsessed, Most...she wasn't in anyway speaking in an affirmative, even though her points came out harsh

... why is there so much pressure/focus on the female folks and their choices in life?...I just don't gerrit
-they say 'marriage' is overhyped, yet it is one topic that gets so much attention...let it slide pls

P.S : The fact that you called her post 'stupeed' is unprofessional and...I don't know what else to call it... ...we can't all be of the same school of thought - respect her own reasoning.
-If you have to counter her, go back to her post, read/understand it properly...then counter her.

how exactly, would you come online and call someones' husband a PLAN-B, and an available that became desirable?? Jeez...I know this is a forum, but before you 'submit'...take a moment to review your choice of words...Thanks

@emboldened,in the last paragraph, i saw it too, her post is full of insult and belittle...lepacious bose, mr ibu, bla bla bla, op na person papa and sister u dey belittle so o...okay

safarigirl: Being born into a society such as the Nigerian one connites certain things for a female.

From the day you can tell your right from your left, you're basically taught to be subservient to men. You're told that your place is in the kitchen and your brothers' place is in front of the television. Most of all, you're told that your only purpose in this world, is to fulfill the desires of some dude, serve him and bear his children. You are not to aspire for anything more and failure to live up to these expectations means failure as a person.

Well, this thread was inspired by a certain thread that was on FP today:

https://www.nairaland.com/1911041/why-nigerian-girls-should-not

Now, the stupidity of this thread is baffling. Basically, it's some lady telling females to settle for less. Telling us that we do not deserve the best and we shouldn't make any efforts to aspire for such because that would be foolhardy.

I honestly sympathise with her that she was unable to get the man of her desires, and eventually chose to settle for Plan B, who in fact was not what she desired, but as they say, when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable.

Time and again on Nairaland you find numerous chauvinists telling women basically that they have no opinion, telling us that we ought to dance skelewu because one of these rare species called 'men' looked upon us with pity and decided to marry us. And for those poor souls like Rita Dominic, Linda Ikeji and Genevieve Nnaji who are yet to be honored witha wedding ring? They should keep praying the rosary and hope they don't die 'marriageless'

Marriage is the be all and end all of a woman, therefore, she must settle for a raggamuffin if she hasn't found a gentleman at the ripe 'OLD' age of 27. Once you're through with University, your next bus stop should be a man's house.

Many women have ended up in loveless, frustrating marriages after settling for less, because all your friends got married after University doesn't mean you must marry at that time. Don't be the one whose story ends with 'Had I Known'

Feel free to live a little, keep your head on your shoulders, walk with your chin up, if you want your man to be as tall as Lebron James, don't settle for Tom Cruise, if you want him to be as charming as Antonio Banderas, don't settle for Al Pacino, if you want him to be as fit as CR7, don't settle for Mr. Ibu. If you must settle for less, let it be reasonable, don't go from a Lebron to a Kevin Hart because you're 'getting old and all your mates are married" no be who marry first dey happy pass.

Even the bible says "ask and it shall be given unto you" so if you tell God "I will manage..." He will bless you with a 'manageable' man.

God bless you as you settle with the best

. Na over sabi dey kill monkey! If you want to be single na your choice for those who settled and will still settled for.their men respect their choices too. Most menopause approaching single ladies simply know too much and can't settle for less. No wahala only this kind lamentation tired me oooooo!!!

hensben: @emboldened,in the last paragraph, i saw it too, her post is full of insult and belittle...lepacious bose, mr ibu, bla bla bla, op na person papa and sister u dey belittle so o...okay

Very rude post...I wonder how she felt typing it. A man that paid a ladys' bride price...that's who she is calling plan B...,nawa o....this one strong...lol

Nigerian Ladies, Deceiving themselves since 8012 AD.

@op.......You might be right that ladies shouldn't settle for less but has it not occurred to you that some people have unrealistic expectations? Yesterday's poster made absolute sense. I once dated a guy that was 6ft 3, good looking and very charming but..........he was pathetic in bed with a small joystick. I left him after 4 months because all he had going for him was his height.
I am not saying that ladies should not have expections but Sometimes good things come in not very attractive packages.

You sound kinda young so I understand your point of view. When you are above 32 and still single you can then revisit this topic. Experience will certainly rearrange your thought process.

@Op. I'm not surprised that u posted this.. Being in Kalacuta republic, Fela's domain, mehnnnnnn!. I'm still trying to figure how many wraps of grade A1 kpoki you loaded in your head before writing this. Keep it up, you'll end up getting married to CR7. Dreamer!

That's the spirit!

Amya:

I think every Individual, male or female has the right to choose what kind of like they want to live inspire of what the society encourages. If they decide they want Angelina Jolie or nobody, then that choice should be respected. It's their life after all.

What you think is not what is happening.
You have the right to think.

I think America should not have gone to Iraq.

okparaugo: I agree with 100cents as well as safari girl.

If she wants more in life , let her develop herself dependence and not rely on men for her upkeep.

But if her not settling for less means using and dumping men. I mean using men as a ladder to climb the social class while claiming to be in search of Mr. Right, let that ladder come crashing on her head.

Yeah, because I have seen it happen..

what if the lady is a working class and can afford everything she needs but just wants the guy to be a step ahead of her...

Most women nowadays can stop lying, it is inherent in them.

safarigirl: Being born into a society such as the Nigerian one connites certain things for a female.

From the day you can tell your right from your left, you're basically taught to be subservient to men. You're told that your place is in the kitchen and your brothers' place is in front of the television. Most of all, you're told that your only purpose in this world, is to fulfill the desires of some dude, serve him and bear his children. You are not to aspire for anything more and failure to live up to these expectations means failure as a person.

Well, this thread was inspired by a certain thread that was on FP today:

https://www.nairaland.com/1911041/why-nigerian-girls-should-not

Now, the stupidity of this thread is baffling. Basically, it's some lady telling females to settle for less. Telling us that we do not deserve the best and we shouldn't make any efforts to aspire for such because that would be foolhardy.

I honestly sympathise with her that she was unable to get the man of her desires, and eventually chose to settle for Plan B, who in fact was not what she desired, but as they say, when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable.

Time and again on Nairaland you find numerous chauvinists telling women basically that they have no opinion, telling us that we ought to dance skelewu because one of these rare species called 'men' looked upon us with pity and decided to marry us. And for those poor souls like Rita Dominic, Linda Ikeji and Genevieve Nnaji who are yet to be honored witha wedding ring? They should keep praying the rosary and hope they don't die 'marriageless'

Marriage is the be all and end all of a woman, therefore, she must settle for a raggamuffin if she hasn't found a gentleman at the ripe 'OLD' age of 27. Once you're through with University, your next bus stop should be a man's house.

Many women have ended up in loveless, frustrating marriages after settling for less, because all your friends got married after University doesn't mean you must marry at that time. Don't be the one whose story ends with 'Had I Known'

Feel free to live a little, keep your head on your shoulders, walk with your chin up, if you want your man to be as tall as Lebron James, don't settle for Tom Cruise, if you want him to be as charming as Antonio Banderas, don't settle for Al Pacino, if you want him to be as fit as CR7, don't settle for Mr. Ibu. If you must settle for less, let it be reasonable, don't go from a Lebron to a Kevin Hart because you're 'getting old and all your mates are married" no be who marry first dey happy pass.

Even the bible says "ask and it shall be given unto you" so if you tell God "I will manage..." He will bless you with a 'manageable' man.

God bless you as you settle with the best

i admire your guts and humor, now pull down your skirt let me lick u better than tonto does her house girl

safarigirl:
Well, this thread was inspired by a certain thread that was on FP today:

https://www.nairaland.com/1911041/why-nigerian-girls-should-not

Now, the stupidity of this thread is baffling. Basically, it's some lady telling females to settle for less. Telling us that we do not deserve the best and we shouldn't make any efforts to aspire for such because that would be foolhardy.

I honestly sympathise with her that she was unable to get the man of her desires, and eventually chose to settle for Plan B, who in fact was not what she desired, but as they say, when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable.


God bless you as you settle with the best

What's so hard about that thread that U can't comprehend? Honestly,your own thread is 'stupidier'. I pity every young girl that heeds your advice.
They'll wait till I grow 'camo beards and spend pension on school fees.
A good Samaritan should please explain to her what the other thread is preaching.

Kachisbarbie:
Very rude post...I wonder how she felt typing it. A man that paid a ladys' bride price...that's who she is calling plan B...,nawa o....this one strong...lol

very disrespectful, i know her type.

TrollMan: Such Audacity.

good morning guy

Nice one op!

whether u settle for less or for great., it is a matter of u to do things at d right time. I don't expect a girl of over Thirty years to be talking I'm a career woman for d next how many years.? remember ur biological make up is d determining factor here whether u still want to marry or not. if a woman can bear children comfortably in her 50s or 60s y should I bother if her career spans from her 20s to her 40s. use ur head......meaning do d needful

Am really impressed with the way things are going in this country now. Woman now actually now realise they can be whatever they want to be. And while society might still judge them, they've developed such thick skins that criticisms about their virtue hardly gets them. All those unmarried female celebrities are still very much respected in the society. They've carved a niche for themselves which made them the celebrities that they are.

We should all learn to respect people's choice and never mock their decisions because it doesn't fit into our ideals. If someone believes she'll be complete and happy with a tall husband, why in the world would you discouraged that? same goes for the person who prefers a shorter man, being unmarried e.t.c

Problem with we Nigerians is we like poke nosing into people's matter. How is it any of our business on peoples choices and way of life.

short people will not like this your thread ooo...

@op do you mean short people are "less"

Who cares? Busy playing my wizkids ojuelegba joooor....

Amya: Am really impressed with the way things are going in this country now. Woman now actually now realise they can be whatever they want to be. And while society might still judge them, they've developed such thick skins that criticisms about their virtue hardly gets them. All those unmarried female celebrities are still very much respected in the society. They've carved a niche for themselves which made them the celebrities that they are.

We should all learn to respect people's choice and never mock their decisions because it doesn't fit into our ideals. If someone believes she'll be complete and happy with a tall husband, why in the world would you discouraged that? same goes for the person who prefers a shorter man, being unmarried e.t.c

Problem with we Nigerians is we like poke nosing into people's matter. How is it any of our business on peoples choices and way of life.

boom, bombshell, u r so on point... Tel em pls

Well my dear girl, whether you settle for less or you settle for more, the most important thing is that there was a settle.

jennylove7575: Op you are on point...many women in Nigeria these days can marry anything just to bear Mrs somebody..marriage is supposed to be a union of genuine companionship, compatability, working together, genuine love and friendship. Because of desperation due to societal and family pressure or self serving interests, many women in Nigeria ends up in loveless marriages of convenience... The kind of self consolation words you hear from such women is "I go dey manage the man. At least people see am say I dey man house and I go get my respect." Rubbish!..gross stupidity on the woman part and a life imprisonment of the body, soul and emotions...yes nobody in life is perfect, but as a single woman, never give up ur expectations in a man u would like to marry and settle for less. Its not a tic tac toh..marriage is a good thing if u marry right...no be by force.. It is very unhealthy to live a lie..

you ought to meet the guy's expectation as well.

A cycle of fantasies. The real of a woman is to bear pikin.