If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

You are right jare the mentality of graduate and get married is getting too much little wonder guys have no respect for ladies except they get to meet one.who is different.

This gonna be intresting...
#spreads mat...

This is a powerful one. Still, I believe Nigeria is also responsible for this. The women breaking barriers in Nigeria are not mostly educated here. The system is terrible and most guys have been cursed with spreading their thin legs while one ill-luck woman who couldn't find a man take them in as a sugar son. Nothing is bad in dreaming; we all did in Secondary school and most people's dream have become a wash, something long forgoteen. Hold the society responsible.

It's a function of (misplaced) priority!
Atleast,some still have the grace to carry on till after school!
Tradition and religion has and is still playing a pivotal role on the psyche of our women in this part of the world! These two forces have (almost) relegated women to 'mediocrity'. They find nothing wrong in what op is saying! The kind of education our educationists are propagating is not helping matters too!
Traditional, Religious and Educational stakeholders should change their sublime message (that women are mere helpers or inferior to men ).... Because the problem (to me) is kind of mental/psychological...

The original post of the thread is a must-read for every Nigerian lady.
I'm always shocked when I see girls who think getting a boyfriend or husband is same as securing a job and rich husband/boyfriend equals a well-paying job.
If all Nigerian women were like this^^, I'd give up on marrying a Nigerian.

However, thank God few are just.

safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

the only thing i like about u is ur eloquent and good command of english

Sanchez01: This is a powerful one. Still, I believe Nigeria is also responsible for this. The women breaking barriers in Nigeria are not mostly educated here. The system is terrible and most guys have been cursed with spreading their thin legs while one ill-luck woman who couldn't find a man take them in as a sugar son. Nothing is bad in dreaming; we all did in Secondary school and most people's dream have become a wash, something long forgoteen. Hold the society responsible.

once in a while we need to look inwards rather than blame society for our shortcomings. That 16-year old Pakistani girl that fights for the rights of the girl child around the world chose to be the change in a country that has no regard for women. Blaming the society has to stop somewhere, individuals make the society. We must change the individuals that make up the society to change the society

Hmmm
Thank God say na woman talk am
If its me now, they will say am lady-centric (sic)!
#wateva dat means

If women still reason this way, then I conclude it's not a degree or Masters or Phd that enlightens one's view about life after school. It wld definitely be one's mentality and philosophy abt life.
You are what you think

It is difficult to think outside that line. Women live in an environment where they are viewed as that, told as that and expected to behave as that. In fact, to go outside that line of thought would be considered unafrican. But that is where this article is apt. If u think like others, u lose ur own identity. Nice one op.

Nigerian women don't think straight espacially the learned one's... All they think of is to make use of iphone6, brazilian hair, exotic cars and to be with there sugar daddie! Please don't quote

bayulll01:
the only thing i like about u is ur eloquent and good command of english

.....eloquence homie.....spellcheck.....

Partly I think parents are to blame for some women's lack of ambition.
From small they remind you that your place is in a man's house, a man who would provide all you need while you pop out children for him.

No parent encourages their daughters to get a job after school infact while you are still serving(NYSC) they will start bombarding your phone to remind you that all your friend's are married with Nkechi and Ijeoma having their second babies.

Secondly the jobs are not there, infact the job market favours guys more than females, so even if your ambition is as tall as an iroko, going home to stay with parents while searching for a job is enough to kill that ambition.

3cycle: Partly I think parents are to blame for some women's lack of ambition.
From small they remind you that your place is in a man's house, a man who would provide all you need while you pop out children for him.

No parent encourages their daughters to get a job after school infact while you are still serving(NYSC) they will start bombarding your phone to remind you that all your friend's are married with Nkechi and Ijeoma having their second babies.

Secondly the jobs are not there, infact the job market favours guys more than females, so even if your ambition is as tall as an iroko, going home to stay with parents while searching for a job is enough to kill that ambition.

this is true to some extent. But a woman with a future ambition prepares herself while in school. I know a girl that studies Economics, but attends a Korean language lesson while at it, this is to diversify herself. She recently returned from a trip to South Korea courtesy of those classes. She does some Ushering work as well so this has exposed her to a number of people. I doubt someone like her would encounter much problem in the job search. She must have made acquaintances with those who will assist her in a job search after school.

alexx187: .....eloquence homie.....spellcheck.....

pervert no thanks to my auto correct






Eloquent | Define Eloquent at Dictionary.com
dictionary.reference.com/browse/ eloquent
having or exercising the power of fluent,
forceful, and appropriate speech: an eloquent
orator. 2. characterized by ...

How would they aspire to be great in life?, when their female Nigerian counterparts who are breaking records is being bashed of being loose, husbandless and prostitute e.g Chimamanda, Genevieve, Linda Ikeji, Rita Dominic etc

safarigirl: this is true to some extent. But a woman with a future ambition prepares herself while in school. I know a girl that studies Economics, but attends a Korean language lesson while at it, this is to diversify herself. She recently returned from a trip to South Korea courtesy of those classes. She does some Ushering work as well so this has exposed her to a number of people. I doubt someone like her would encounter much problem in the job search. She must have made acquaintances with those who will assist her in a job search after school.

safari safari this smallpikin mentality no one is forcing you to marry naa,but dont be a joy killer ehn,personally i dont believe in marriage the hype is not worth it,i was dizzin a friend of my that read computer engineering and lost it all because she want to get married anyway i still believe a lady that knows her worth will know that u can have a good marriage and also successful in her career

Logicalmindy: How would they aspire to be great in life?, when their female Nigerian counterparts who are breaking records is being bashed of being loose, husbandless and prostitute e.g Chimamanda, Genevieve, Linda Ikeji, Rita Dominic etc

this has to do with the insecurities of the Nigerian man. He happens to be a confused fellow who doesn't know what he wants between a dependent and an independent woman. They curse you out for being a leech and curse you out for being better than men. What a Nigerian man really wants is a woman who has aspirations, but not any higher than theirs. It's okay to want to be somebody, but make sure the spotlight remains on the man of the house

bayulll01:
safari safari this smallpikin mentality no one is forcing you to marry naa,but dont be a joy killer ehn,personally i dont believe in marriage the hype is not worth it,i was dizzin a friend of my that read computer engineering and lost it all because she want to get married anyway i still believe a lady that knows her worth will know that u can have a good marriage and also successful in her career

wherever did I imply that I care for marriage? I'm trying to encourage independence in women here, this isn't about the men folk

safarigirl: this is true to some extent. But a woman with a future ambition prepares herself while in school. I know a girl that studies Economics, but attends a Korean language lesson while at it, this is to diversify herself. She recently returned from a trip to South Korea courtesy of those classes. She does some Ushering work as well so this has exposed her to a number of people. I doubt someone like her would encounter much problem in the job search. She must have made acquaintances with those who will assist her in a job search after school.

Well lucky her...
During my service year I discovered that my calling was in the field of business.
I made big money reselling chickens I bought from a farm faraway from town. (I never knew that the returns were rewarding when you invest in poutry)

With my little ideas about raising chickens I went home to beg for little support from my dad to start a poutry farm(the land was available) but forwhere he declined. He was scared that I might make so much money and refuse to get married whereas my brother was "settled" handsomely to start his company.

Except you are a very strong woman who can't succumb to pressure, I tell you being a single career woman is a difficult thing in Nigeria.

bayulll01:
the only thing i like about u is ur eloquent and good command of english

The only thing Doesn't sound like a compliment.

The day i made mention that after my 1st degree
I'ld go for my masters immediately

Hopefully with God i will secure a nice job
My aunt just gave me the * you are not serious * look
She asked me in whose house will i be doing all this?
For my papa house?
Where else

It all boils down to the older generation and the society at large
After sch for the girls.. Comes marriage
Or so they think
My cousin who works with a top firm in abj came down for a burial last month
U need to see her mum matchmaking her with a friend's son

I think girls have been brainwashed with the stupid mentality of"afteryourdegreecomesmarriageforyoutobeacknowledged"

3cycle:
The only thing Doesn't sound like a compliment.

you shouldn't pay him any attention. I've become acquainted to his back-handed compliments so I just ignore them

safari i dey feel u o,

dechandel: The day i made mention that after my 1st degree
I'ld go for my masters immediately

Hopefully with God i will secure a nice job
My aunt just gave me the * you are not serious * look
She asked me in whose house will i be doing all this?
For my papa house?
Where else

It all boils down to the older generation and the society at large
After sch for the girls.. Comes marriage
Or so they think
My cousin who works with a top firm in abj came down for a burial last month
U need to see her mum matchmaking her with a friend's son

I think girls have been brainwashed with the stupid mentality of"afteryourdegreecomesmarriageforyoutobeacknowledged"

baby i dont hv time to wait na, no need for masters, lets get married asap

3cycle:
Well lucky her...
During my service year I discovered that my calling was in the field of business.
I made big money reselling chickens I bought from a farm faraway from town. (I never knew that the returns were rewarding when you invest in poutry)

With my little ideas about raising chickens I went home to beg for little support from my dad to start a poutry farm(the land was available) but forwhere he declined. He was scared that I might make so much money and refuse to get married whereas my brother was "settled" handsomely to start his company.

Except you are a very strong woman who can't succumb to pressure, I tell you being a single career woman is a difficult thing in Nigeria.

the biggest problem entrepreneurs face is start up capital. You can't get it from family and the banks won't listen unless you're related to somebody of importance. If you have a good business plan and you've weighed the pros and cons, you'll eventually find funding with persistence

dechandel: The day i made mention that after my 1st degree
I'ld go for my masters immediately

Hopefully with God i will secure a nice job
My aunt just gave me the * you are not serious * look
She asked me in whose house will i be doing all this?
For my papa house?
Where else

It all boils down to the older generation and the society at large
After sch for the girls.. Comes marriage
Or so they think
My cousin who works with a top firm in abj came down for a burial last month
U need to see her mum matchmaking her with a friend's son

I think girls have been brainwashed with the stupid mentality of"afteryourdegreecomesmarriageforyoutobeacknowledged"

females are seen as liabilities passed on from fathers to husbands. Your dad trains you till Secondary/tertiary graduation and then your husband can continue from where dad stops if he so desires. It's okay to want to go for your masters, you should however make a point by funding your masters yourself even if you live at home with the parents

ednut1:
baby i dont hv time to wait na, no need for masters, lets get married asap

U have to wait in line

dechandel:
U have to wait in line

Your signature though.

Logicalmindy:

Your signature though.

Cool, right?

dechandel:
Cool, right?

only if your dad get married to you.