AfricanApple: walk away and come back when everything has cool down, talk with her. two wrongs never make a right

except that i have witnessed a situation where the man wanted to leave & the woman stood in his way saying he cannot leave. she wanted him to stay there & receive all the insults & dog-abuses.

what should a man do then?

coogar:

except that i have witnessed a situation where the man wanted to leave & the woman stood in his way saying he cannot leave. she wanted him to stay there & receive all the insults & dog-abuses.

what should a man do then?

no matter how she stands in your way, you should be strong enough to bypass her unless she is stronger than you are

JEITO: well, I read what you said previously about how to correct a lady. I don't agree with ur assertion.

For a man to beat his wife, it is clear he doesn't know the role of a wife in his life and home.

Also, it shows that he has issues with self control and temper management.

Btw, no one over generalised anything. The comment was specific.

Age is not maturity, any man that hits his wife for any reason, is immature and not ripe for marriage.

A disgrace to Manhood I must say

@bolded. That's generalization. What you are saying in effect is that a woman should be able to do absolutely ANYTHING to you and get away with it.

E.g like the man who came home and met his wife beating up his mother. So you my dear friend will calmly seperate them and then wait until evening when you and wifey are both lovey-dovey so you can tell her in a calm voice that what she did was wrong abi?

I hear sir.

AfricanApple: no matter how she stands in your way, you should be strong enough to bypass her unless she is stronger than you are

bypass her? you mean make body contact?
push her? shove her? pull her? how's that not an assault? you never jam troublesome women. it's easy to sit & type behind a laptop.

bypass??

coogar:

bypass her? you mean make body contact?
push her? shove her? pull her? how's that not an assault? you never jam troublesome women. it's easy to sit & type behind a laptop.

bypass??

My former neighbors in Lagos were like this. The woman would be heard early in the morning berating the man and screaming for him to leave pocket money. Sometimes the man will come out of the house with his shirt rumpled and torn and the woman holding unto his trouser which she has made attempt to remove many times in public. The shouting would go something like this:

"Leave me oh, leave me oh, if I lay my hands on you!!"

"Try it! Try it and let me see! Useless man! When people are counting husband you will go and join! Touch me and see what will happen, your mates are riding jeep you are still jumping molue! They say common sense is not common! If you move another step I will naked you here!"

"But honey(he starts to beg with style) I am late for work if I lose my job even my small salary will be taken from me..."

'I don't care! Go and do what your mates do! If not for that useless thing between your legs would you have been any different from a woman?! Etc etc"

In fact he would have to wait until she let him go or else risk going to work naked.


He must be a real man.
All men should be like that.

5minsmadness: This issue of woman/wife battering is always coming up and always ends with those who have been guilty of such acts being chased away by statements like these:



Next thing the thread ends with hurling insults at abusive men without addressing the issue itself. This one is probably going to end the same way.

Serial battering is bad/evil/lunacy, yes, alright we get it! It would be better if we addressed the issue of what would provoke a previously sane and reasonable man to the extent of him lashing out at the wife, then we would have taken a step forward.

if i may notbe wrong, what i infer from the few sensible posts i've read so far is that, "it myt be very impossibe tryin to stop women from being insultin and abusive, cos its their nature, and there's no much physical harm it myt cause, BUT men should learn how to control their anger and get used to swallowin sh*t from such women, cos their own retaliation myt lead to death"...


What a double standard!

5minsmadness:

My former neighbors in Lagos were like this. The woman would be heard early in the morning berating the man and screaming for him to leave pocket money. Sometimes the man will come out of the house with his shirt rumpled and torn and the woman holding unto his trouser which she has made attempt to remove many times in public. The shouting would go something like this:

"Leave me oh, leave me oh, if I lay my hands on you!!"

"Try it! Try it and let me see! Useless man! When people are counting husband you will go and join! Touch me and see what will happen, your mates are riding jeep you are still jumping molue! They say common sense is not common! If you move another step I will naked you here!"

"But honey(he starts to beg with style) I am late for work if I lose my job even my small salary will be taken from me..."

'I don't care! Go and do what your mates do! If not for that useless thing between your legs would you have been any different from a woman?! Etc etc"

In fact he would have to wait until she let him go or else risk going to work naked.


He must be a real man.
All men should be like that.

hahahaha!... That man must be a martian. Not from this earth.

The man still dey live with dat kind woman? Him need serious help!

5minsmadness:

My former neighbors in Lagos were like this. The woman would be heard early in the morning berating the man and screaming for him to leave pocket money. Sometimes the man will come out of the house with his shirt rumpled and torn and the woman holding unto his trouser which she has made attempt to remove many times in public. The shouting would go something like this:

"Leave me oh, leave me oh, if I lay my hands on you!!"

"Try it! Try it and let me see! Useless man! When people are counting husband you will go and join! Touch me and see what will happen, your mates are riding jeep you are still jumping molue! They say common sense is not common! If you move another step I will naked you here!"

"But honey(he starts to beg with style) I am late for work if I lose my job even my small salary will be taken from me..."

'I don't care! Go and do what your mates do! If not for that useless thing between your legs would you have been any different from a woman?! Etc etc"

In fact he would have to wait until she let him go or else risk going to work naked.


He must be a real man.
All men should be like that.

dis scenario is enuf to upset anyone! unfortunately, we are in a world where reality and ideology are two far cries from one anoda. Such hypocrisy!!!

5minsmadness:
You are obviously a woman.

hahaha! A woman? I think you believe in resolving issue with violence. I know a woman may be rude, but beating her is not the solution, in fact, it may even complicates the issue. If you value your reputation, beating your wife will be the last thing in your mind.

coogar:

bypass her? you mean make body contact?
push her? shove her? pull her? how's that not an assault? you never jam troublesome women. it's easy to sit & type behind a laptop.

bypass??

if she held u and u tear her hand off your cloth and leave, how's dat an assault?

its easy to sit and type behind a laptop? u mean I sit 24hiurs everyday without seeing the world? or I don't have families who are married? maybe u do but I've seen things with my eyes.

AfricanApple: if she held u and u tear her hand off your cloth and leave, how's dat an assault?

its easy to sit and type behind a laptop? u mean I sit 24hiurs everyday without seeing the world? or I don't have families who are married? maybe u do but I've seen things with my eyes.

if my hand leaves a mark on her skin while i am tearing her hand off, that's assault. that's when her story will change when the cops come. it seems you dunno women.

coogar:

if my hand leaves a mark on her skin while i am tearing her hand off, that's assault. that's when her story will change when the cops come. it seems you dunno women.

look, I'm suspecting u.

what mark will u leave on her that will make d story change.
no matter how u twist it, there better ways to handle a problem. besides if u think beating is d solution there is to it, stop the natter and get a divorce.

read my signature, does it make any meaning to you?

AfricanApple: look, I'm suspecting u.

drug suspect or armed robber suspect?

what mark will u leave on her that will make d story change.
no matter how u twist it, there better ways to handle a problem. besides if u think beating is d solution there is to it, stop the natter and get a divorce.

i am just letting you know that it's not that black & white like you are making it. no man wakes up in the morning with the hope of beating his woman. majority of the time, men are provoked into resorting to violence.

read my signature, does it make any meaning to you?

theoretically, it does.....
but it's a far cry from reality. a man suddenly gets slapped in a commercial by a woman over a small issue. what do you think his instinct would be? defend himself or your signature?

coogar:

drug suspect or armed robber suspect?



i am just letting you know that it's not that black & white like you are making it. no man wakes up in the morning with the hope of beating his woman. majority of the time, men are provoked into resorting to violence.



theoretically, it does.....
but it's a far cry from reality. a man suddenly gets slapped in a commercial by a woman over a small issue. what do you think his instinct would be? defend himself of your signature?

wife beating suspect


I know, I know its not easy but then when you let people provoke you unnecessarily, d whole thing is gonna be put on your head. people can only provoke u to become violent when u let them. in your process of provocation, u start beating her and she is fighting back which will make u add more pressure and she suddenly slump and die. think about it.



nobody will slap u in a commercial vehicle 'just like that'. but we are talking about domestic here

coogar:

drug suspect or armed robber suspect?



i am just letting you know that it's not that black & white like you are making it. no man wakes up in the morning with the hope of beating his woman. majority of the time, men are provoked into resorting to violence.



theoretically, it does.....
but it's a far cry from reality. a man suddenly gets slapped in a commercial by a woman over a small issue. what do you think his instinct would be? defend himself of your signature?

hahahaha!... Coogar, you no dey hear word.. You no dey gree lai-lai.

AfricanApple: wife beating suspect

never - wife beater? my words do more damage than my knuckles.

I know, I know its not easy but then when you let people provoke you unnecessarily, d whole thing is gonna be put on your head. people can only provoke u to become violent when u let them. in your process of provocation, u start beating her and she is fighting back which will make u add more pressure and she suddenly slump and die. think about it.

i don't disagree with you.
you are 110% correct & i am sure everyone knows this. however, what we know is quite different to what we do in the heat of the moment

you see - all those wife beaters are good men too. if a wife beater's neighbour is beating his wife. the wife-beater would go there & offer cool words too....preaching and explaining why beating a woman is wrong.

in a nutshell, humans don't practise what they preach.

nobody will slap u in a commercial vehicle 'just like that'. but we are talking about domestic here

that's also theoretical as well.
the reality is a far cry.......even if we limit it to domestic issues, some women just want an attention and they get it by hook or crook.

coogar:

never - wife beater? my words do more damage than my knuckles.



i don't disagree with you.
you are 110% correct & i am sure everyone knows this. however, what we know is quite different to what we do in the heat of the moment

you see - all those wife beaters are good men too. if a wife beater's neighbour is beating his wife. the wife-beater would go there & offer cool words too....preaching and explaining why beating a woman is wrong.

in a nutshell, humans don't practise what they preach.




that's also theoretical as well.
the reality is a far cry.......even if we limit it to domestic issues, some women just want an attention and they get it by hook or crook.

lo, that was a joke.


it doesn't apply to all situations I mean @we don't practice what we preach. someone like me n who is still learning how to fight temptation if insulting back when insulted. yes I'm saying but find it hard to do it yet I've seen those who did it and I want to emulate from tgem

AfricanApple: lo, that was a joke.

it doesn't apply to all situations I mean @we don't practice what we preach. someone like me n who is still learning how to fight temptation if insulting back when insulted. yes I'm saying but find it hard to do it yet I've seen those who did it and I want to emulate from tgem

did what?
don't let anyone deceive you. there's no perfect being. provocation has different levels though but there's no one who would turn the other cheek when struck.

if humans practise what they preach, we won't need to go to church, do we? parents tell their kids - "lying is a sin". the next day they tell the same kids to tell mrs okonkwo that they have travelled when they are at home.

which is which?

I would divorce such a woman without thinking twice.
What's the use beating her up and compounding my woes from the prosecution that will follow?

5minsmadness:

My former neighbors in Lagos were like this. The woman would be heard early in the morning berating the man and screaming for him to leave pocket money. Sometimes the man will come out of the house with his shirt rumpled and torn and the woman holding unto his trouser which she has made attempt to remove many times in public. The shouting would go something like this:

"Leave me oh, leave me oh, if I lay my hands on you!!"

"Try it! Try it and let me see! Useless man! When people are counting husband you will go and join! Touch me and see what will happen, your mates are riding jeep you are still jumping molue! They say common sense is not common! If you move another step I will naked you here!"

"But honey(he starts to beg with style) I am late for work if I lose my job even my small salary will be taken from me..."

'I don't care! Go and do what your mates do! If not for that useless thing between your legs would you have been any different from a woman?! Etc etc"

In fact he would have to wait until she let him go or else risk going to work naked.


He must be a real man.
All men should be like that.

Whoever led you to believe it's women's nature to be insulting taught you wrong.
It's not our nature. Don't tolerate it.
Get away permanently from a woman who will always provoke you with her words.

Sepp360: if i may notbe wrong, what i infer from the few sensible posts i've read so far is that, "it myt be very impossibe tryin to stop women from being insultin and abusive, cos its their nature, and there's no much physical harm it myt cause, BUT men should learn how to control their anger and get used to swallowin sh*t from such women, cos their own retaliation myt lead to death"...


What a double standard!

cococandy: Whoever led you to believe it's women's nature to be insulting taught you wrong.
It's not our nature. Don't tolerate it.
Get away permanently from a woman who will always provoke you with her words.

thanks for the advice. Even though walkin away is much better than batterin; But would i always "walk away permanently" each and every time a lady provokes me?

Which begs the question. will you always hit every time a lady provokes you?
Make the better choice.

I suggested communication,temporary seperation before. Sometimes even reporting her to her parents will work perfectly. These would work if the lady values your union and doesn't want to lose you.
But if she doesn't,you're better of without someone who doesn't care how her actions/words make you feel.

Emotional abuse leads to loss of self esteem faster than physical assault.

Sepp360: thanks for the advice. Even though walkin away is much better than batterin; But would i always "walk away permanently" each and every time a lady provokes me?

Please I have a queshion.

If a lady misbehaves and the husband bends her across his knees and spanks her bumbum hard is it also wife-beating?

cococandy: Well...

It's not really black and white.

Saying a man can't be pushed to react will be me lying to myself.

But there's a risk in saying it is understandable.it opens doors for all kinds of misunderstandings about the acceptability of violence.

So to get rid of it or at least to attempt to get rid of it,we must always be clear that we chose not to understand it.
Understanding can lead to acceptance.

That we don't want

If a man is pushed to the wall he should spring back like a string. It's 100percent understandable. You're just speaking unecessary grammar that only seeks to adorn the white paper. Every living thing does it. Even a paint starts to peel off from the wall after a while.

5minsmadness: Please I have a queshion.

If a lady misbehaves and the husband bends her across his knees and spanks her bumbum hard is it also wife-beating?

nope. That's romance in disguise.

5minsmadness:

My former neighbors in Lagos were like this. The woman would be heard early in the morning berating the man and screaming for him to leave pocket money. Sometimes the man will come out of the house with his shirt rumpled and torn and the woman holding unto his trouser which she has made attempt to remove many times in public. The shouting would go something like this:

"Leave me oh, leave me oh, if I lay my hands on you!!"

"Try it! Try it and let me see! Useless man! When people are counting husband you will go and join! Touch me and see what will happen, your mates are riding jeep you are still jumping molue! They say common sense is not common! If you move another step I will naked you here!"

"But honey(he starts to beg with style) I am late for work if I lose my job even my small salary will be taken from me..."

'I don't care! Go and do what your mates do! If not for that useless thing between your legs would you have been any different from a woman?! Etc etc"

In fact he would have to wait until she let him go or else risk going to work naked.


He must be a real man.
All men should be like that.

Now, this got me LOL! Are you kidding me? That husband deserves to head conflict resolution department in united nations.

Sepp360: long, but very meaningful. But let me state another scenario here..

What if the child still gets used to the light slap, that he doesn't desist from offending you?

A not so light slap will follow. But in the case of a woman that keeps disrespecting you. Bye-bye is even better.