Smart-alecky comments, sass, and disrespectful
gestures, such as eye rolls and lip smacks, seem
to be the norm when children talk back to you
nowadays. Try these tips to nip your child's bold
and brash behavior in the bud.


KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE
You don't have to put up with your child talking
back, but be careful about how you react, because
your response can either improve or weaken your
relationship with your child. Be too lenient, and the
cheekiness could lead to more worrisome
behavior. Be too strict, and your child could feel
that he cant express himself, which will lead to a
communication shutdown. Your child is probably
feeling some intense emotions already, so if you
don't keep your reaction as mild as possible, a
nasty power struggle might ensue. Yelling, making
threats, or screaming "How dare you? I'm your
mother!" will only escalate the situation. It's best
to hold your tongue, take some deep breaths,
count to 10 (or 20), and ask yourself if what you're
about to say will help or hurt the situation. If you
still feel yourself losing control, or if your child
has already lost control, keep calm and say that
you will continue the conversation later when both
of you have cooled down. Then walk away to
another area of the house. If the two of you are in
public, don't engage in a war or words. Instead,
tell her that the conversation is on pause until you
get in the car or make it home


FIND THE ROOT CAUSE
Back talk isn't always a true expression of your
child's feelings, and the reason might be rooted in
something unrelated to you. Maybe your son is
having problems with a friend in school and taking
it out on you because he feels you're a safe target.
Or perhaps he's stressed about homework and
screaming at you to get out of his room. If this
happens, remain calm and collected, and ask
questions to get to the root of the problem. ("Did
something happen today at school?" or "Did you
say that because you need some time alone?"
Figuring out the reason behind the snappy
comeback can make it easier to understand and
resolve the issue.


EXPLAIN WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE
When your usually docile child says ?Get off my
back!? in response to a request, she might be
repeating something she?s heard and not realize
she's being rude. "Children sometimes hear their
friends talking back, and they want to be like them,
so they may imitate the language," says Hannah
Chow-Johnson, M.D., assistant professor of
pediatrics at Loyola University Chicago Stritch
School of Medicine. So be explicit about what is
and isn't okay. Tell her it's fine to say that she's
angry or tired, for instance, or that she doesn't feel
like talking at the moment. But name-calling,
yelling, or telling you to go away is unacceptable.


CARRY OUT CONSEQUENCES
Once you discuss which behaviors and phrases are
inappropriate, let your child know there will be
consequences if he crosses the line. Determine
what these consequences will be -- losing certain
privileges (video-game sessions, TV time, etc.),
getting additional chores, or going to bed earlier --
and let him know ahead of time so he won't be
caught by surprise when he's punished. Most
important, follow through. Being consistent and
sticking to the rules is the only way to show you
mean business


MODEL YOUR EXPECTATIONS
It's very important that you model the behavior you
expect from your child. Children learn by imitating
what they see, especially at home, says Gail Gross,
Ph.D., Ed.D., a family psychologist in Houston. If
your 5-year-old overhears you using a snarky tone
when speaking to your spouse or your mother-in-
law, she will learn it's okay to treat others
(including you) in a similar manner. So make sure
you speak and treat others (family, friends,
neighbors, and strangers) respectfully, even when
you think your kid isn't around (little ears often
hear everything).

In addition, examine your own interactions with
her. "If you see a pattern of back talk developing
with your child, sometimes the best thing to do is
grab your phone and record audio," says Erik A.
Fisher, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of The
Art of Empowered Parenting: The Manual You Wish
Your Kids Came With. You don't have to let your
kid know -- simply glance at the phone when your
kid's talking back and hit the record button. The
recording gives you a chance to listen to your
child's tone as well as your own. Many times
when parents listen, they realize that they used the
same sarcastic or disrespectful tone as their child,
which is how the child learned it, says Dr. Fisher.


PRAISE ATTENTION
Pay extra attention when your child is exhibiting
positive behaviors instead of negative ones. When
your kid talks and expresses herself in a respectful
manner, show your approval. Tell her, "I really like
the way you waited your turn to speak" or "You did
a really good job explaining yourself without
raising your voice." This will make her feel good
and help her realize that Mom and Dad also notice
good things. The best part: She'll talk back less
often!


source: http://www.parents.com/kids/problems/rebel/kids-talk-back/

All this one na long story.....one whip of my dad's four mouthed koboko will give you instant results!!

JeffreyJamez: All this one na long story.....one whip of my dad's four mouthed koboko will give you instant results!!

lol, he forgot to tell us the condition of the post.
The post is not applicable to Africans.

Op, when kids talk back?You simply shout adonbilivit! then take whatever action you deem fit.

On a more serious note, you can talk to the kid and try to sort things out. Let him understand that it's not appropriate to talk back at an older person. Then you try to find out and address what is making him do that.

urhoboman: lol, he forgot to tell us the condition of the post.
The post is not applicable to Africans.

At all!!

Sadly most people here don't have communication skills they prefer the easy way out beating and flogging the kids into silence.
The kid also learns to bottle it up, look for someone he or she is stronger than and pour their own frustration on with more violence. The circle continues.
A kid talks back,what is he saying? Why is he or she saying it? Is something frustrating him or is he or she just being rude.
Listen to what the kid has to say and if it is said rudely punish the child and explain that though he has a message you hear the manner of approach was rude and disrespectful.

In this age we should learn to be creative, stop the bullying and be more creative in parenting. Teach kids good communication skills use their head to settle conflicts not their fists

urhoboman: lol, he forgot to tell us the condition of the post.
The post is not applicable to Africans.

it is. the rod isnt enough

aisha2: Sadly most people here don't have communication skills they prefer the easy way out beating and flogging the kids into silence.
The kid also learns to bottle it up, look for someone he or she is stronger than and pour their own frustration on with more violence. The circle continues.
A kid talks back,what is he saying? Why is he or she saying it? Is something frustrating him or is he or she just being rude.
Listen to what the kid has to say and if it is said rudely punish the child and explain that though he has a message you hear the manner of approach was rude and disrespectful.

In this age we should learn to be creative, stop the bullying and be more creative in parenting. Teach kids good communication skills use their head to settle conflicts not their fists

true

Kids talking back at parents rudely? That's the height of failed parenting IMO.

I guess smoking a joint would help, lol, as most parents that get to that levels with their kids are junkies anyways.

Not my levels oo.

Land the pikin beta slap!

ifyalways: Kids talking back at parents rudely? That's the height of failed parenting IMO.

I guess smoking a joint would help, lol, as most parents that get to that levels with their kids are junkies anyways.

Not my levels oo.

No be sooo oh

Kids like to express themselves.
Parents aint always right.

My 8yr is one of those kids that wont let issues die until they are resolved.

I used to think he was rude but now am used to his personality.

So I often say, u will have ur turn, just let me finish.

And dat helps but it takes time to deal with little incidents dat a quick slap wud have sorted but his happier dat way.

Some people are of the opinion that 'It is better to be feared than respected/loved'.
That this saying should be extended to children is left up to the parent and his/her style of parenting.

There are situations however where fear also brings out some respect in the sense that;
If for example a parent tells a child not to play with the TV remote, the child fearing a repeat of what happened the last time he/she played with it, automatically respects that warning and stays away from the remote.

bebe2:
No be sooo oh
Kids like to express themselves.
Parents aint always right.
My 8yr is one of those kids that wont let issues die until they are resolved.
I used to think he was rude but now am used to his personality.
So I often say, u will have ur turn, just let me finish.
And dat helps but it takes time to deal with little incidents dat a quick slap wud have sorted but his happier dat way.

I might not get you very well but there is a huge difference between expressing oneself and talking back rudely.

Anyways, to each his/her own, it's all good.

ifyalways:
I might not get you very well but there is a huge difference between expressing oneself and talking back rudely.

Anyways, to each his/her own, it's all good.

Yeah , u r right.

But trying to express or explain ones self cud be misconstrued as talk back.

Like wen I was younger, my elder btother will say its discipline. He wants to beat me and am trying to explain why I did wat I did but all he will keep saying "just shut up and give me ur hand . Ohhh u r arguing with me? Are we mates? Bla Bla bla bla "