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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? (5240 Views)
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Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Rapsainot(m): 11:33pm On Sep 25, 2014 |
cococandy:I never regret that I followed you..... Nice write up I must confess 3 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by cococandy(f): 12:31am On Sep 26, 2014 |
Of course I know. I should go back to primary school if I didn't know that Lol I was just making it clear (to him) why we thought he wasn't being consistent. BananaBender: LMAO cococandy! |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by cococandy(f): 12:31am On Sep 26, 2014 |
Rapsainot: I never regret that I followed you..... Nice write up I must confess |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by BuddhaPalm(m): 3:37pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
Most likely not. And not because 'equality' is bad, but because every issue, to her, will be a dick-measuring contest. 1 Like |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 6:19pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
BuddhaPalm: Most likely not. If your wife feels a need to be in some sort of competition with you, there is a problem with your marriage and that problem has nothing to do with feminism. 7 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by BuddhaPalm(m): 9:33pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
BananaBender: To be candid, the kind of feminism you advocate - the militant kind - sounds more amusing to me than serious. You are not a feminist, you're a human being. Making feminism your identity colours everything as an affront on your humanity. What does being a woman mean to you? |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 9:41pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
BuddhaPalm: I am Shollypopz who supports many causes and one of them is feminism. That makes me a feminist. I don't need you to define who I am, I can do that myself, stranger! A woman is simply a female past the age of 18. 5 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 10:29pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
In the african culture the men is the sole provider while the woman takes care of the house and the children. How many of u are against the western idea of a woman contributing jointly as a provider with the husband? Rubbish! 4 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Stillfire: 11:47pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
Naa, they will make bad housewife materials. Don't marry them when you see them o. Runnnnn as fast as your legs can. They are too hot for the average male o. Stillfire...too hot for one billion men! 4 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 10:40am On Sep 27, 2014 |
BananaBender: You mean feminism cannot probably be responsible for this? Thou may not be in all circumstances. Tell me more dear... |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 10:57am On Sep 27, 2014 |
cococandy: Of course I know. I should go back to primary school if I didn't know that I actually raised some premises, along line my comments. But the bottom line remains: modifying your culture, using another culture as a reference point should not make it inferior to the other culture former. The basics of the your culture must not be altered completely but edited to make it better than the referenced(western) culture. If you had followed my some of my lines of thought up there intently, you would have noticed some level of neutrality in them, only trying to make sure my culture does not turn into slave or mediocre to the western culture. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 11:25am On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mondisweets: In the african culture the men is the sole provider while the woman takes care of the house and the children. How many of u are against the western idea of a woman contributing jointly as a provider with the husband?We are not against the idea of a woman contributing in the home but when a woman start using femininity muscle to override the husband authority/rule in the home, then you begin to ask questions. We are not against western; (in fact, it has done us more good) but striking a balance to know and make sure western culture is not overriding and being traded for our own basic cultural values. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 2:28pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
cococandy:niggahz are waiting |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 3:57pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
@op, we all work within the limit of our own knowledge and as our knowledge of reality isn't absolute, we are bound to get things wrong and form faulty cultures. So yes, education is needed and has always been employed by every person (Africans inclusive) in the formation of manners and mannerisms, philosophy and ideology of a society. As for wether a feminist can make a good wife, i will say absolutely, yes! I know a feminist, a professor, who was married and got widowed some years ago. She is a good woman and have well balanced children which means she was a good mother and i believe a good wife. But i am sure that your concern is not about feminists the type i mentioned above. It is about a group of women who pepertuate a notion of victimhood. A people who are hell bent on turning the family system into a constitutional court where everyone claims "rights". A people who want are hell bent on making sure that "men are rap!sts until proven innocent". 2 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 6:32pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mattin:how does feminism override our cultural values by striking a balance between men and women? 1 Like |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 7:59pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mondisweets: how does feminism override our cultural values by striking a balance between men and women? When a woman begins to see herself as superior or not ready to take instruction from the husband as a result of what feminism theory might postulate, which our culture will not agree to the wife being bossy at home. A woman is suppose to rule under the affairs of her husban; culture wise. Let's be factual here; most typical African women cannot manage this feminism they tend to lust after, because when they get hold of power they see it as avenue to manipulate men by all means. I agree that feminism brought about some form liberation to the women folks but it should not override what our culture stands for that: men are the head of the family and various key roles in our society. Feminism and our cultural values in this part of the world is just a way apart. I am well informed that most ladies and feminist apologist will never flow with this, but our culture will never go into extinction. NB: I'm a typical culture man and a Christian. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mattin:this pretty much explains that u dont understand feminism whatsoever. Its about being EQUAL not being superior over men. Let's be factual here; most typical African women cannot manage this feminism they tend to lust after, because when they get hold of power they see it as avenue to manipulate men by all means. I agree that feminism brought about some form liberation to the women folks but it should not override what our culture stands for that: men are the head of the family and various key roles in our society.a feminist will still give birth, take up her husband's surname, take care of the kids and cook at home... So how exactly is she losing her cultural values? Just because she will expect her husband to contribute in the house chores doesn't mean she will not do them! I am well informed that most ladies and feminist apologist will never flow with this, but our culture will never go into extinction.please go do research of what feminism actually is, not the nairaland definition. 3 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 9:37pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mondisweets: this pretty much explains that u dont understand feminism whatsoever. Its about being EQUAL not being superior over men. When you preach EQUALITY, and the wife eventually start claiming husband authority is not bound on her because her eyes is opened. I didn't say husband helping the wife in house chore is wrong but when the wife start seeing it as the husband's duty because they are EQUAL then you start asking questions. ... and that I don't know about feminism That's your opinion anyway, you can choose what to believe. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 9:47pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mattin: I didn't say husband helping the wife in house chore is wrong but when the wife start seeing it as the husband's duty because they are EQUAL then you start asking questions. listen its the duty of both spouses to do whatever it takes to take care of their home and family. If they are bills to paid, whichever spouse can pay for them should ( the wife doesnt have to wait for the husband) if there are dirty dishes in the house, whichever spouse is at home should take care of them, its a litle something called being hygienic ( the husband doesn't have to wait for his wife to get home) Its called teamwork, you do what needs to be to make sure the house and the marriage remains in order. A woman will never die of she pays the bills, and a man can never be struck my lightning for keeping his house clean by doing chores. Thats whats equal partners do. ... and that I don't know about feminism That's your opinion anyway, you can choose what to believe. 4 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 10:29pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Mondisweets:You just repeated what I said above; I am not against sharing responsibilities or teamwork in the home,I even support it(thou some men don't even wanna hear this), after all, the wife is not a slave. The bone of contention here is when when the woman feels she can as well be accorded the respect due for the husband. FEMINISM will hint her that; hey, this man should not be pushing you around! Since you can do what he can do! We've seen women pack out of the house because they have the capacity to survive outside the marriage; which has in turn caused a lot of pain for children of single parenthood and our culture frowns at this. I not here to bash the women folk...but to reinstate the culture that; Men must be the one in charge of home and his post as the head cannot be negotiated for anything. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 3:38am On Sep 28, 2014 |
Mattin:and thats why i said u understand nothing about feminism, she is not fighting for position is head, she just wants both of them to treat each other equally. No one is trying to overthrow the other, like you are desparately trying to put it, feminists simply want BALANCE. If our traditions are doing more good than harm for use, i guess it gives a perfect reflection of why most parts of Africa that are deeply rooted in their traditions are still in darkness, right? Sure lets keep holding on to the things that keep us from progressing. Thats what intelligent beings do after all This is something no one can never understand about black men in general, some just feel they deserve a title simply because they are male. If you are the head, you have to take care of the responsibilities that come with the title otherwise you are nothing. This is what most black men want, you want to called the captain of the ship when you have no idea of how to stir it in the right direction. If you know you are like that, dont bother calling yourself captain of the ship because all that family will be headed for is a shipwreck. 5 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 6:37am On Sep 28, 2014 |
Mattin: Sir, The problem I see in your response is highlighted. You give the west way too much credit as well. In many western countries, women still fight to get things like equal salary, etc. The crux that I love about feminism is that the definition itself includes the uplifting of both genders, equally. That means that you as a man, are also encouraged to break boundaries and social norms when it comes to being a man. It means that you have the chance to experience things that were previously forbidden to you as man. For example, shedding tears (if you didn't need to cry then why were you created with tear ducts?). Now the problem, as I highlighted earlier is this, you are equating womanhood with marriage. Now, I do understand that marriage is an important right of passage in the life of adults, both male and female. In fact, as a half Punjabi woman, I do understand the strong pulls of my society to be married in order to enjoy the status of full womanhood. However, I choose to renounce that on the grounds that marriage doesn't make me less of who I already am. Maybe in the past, things were different. But, right now, I am responsible for myself, the taxes I pay, the children I bore, bills, everything is my responsibility. If I were to be married, the situation wouldn't change except for the fact that my husband is responsible for me, and I will be responsible for him as well. Your original question is that in my mind, I envision that a feminist would naturally make a better wife. Why? Because she is interested in the equal voice of both partners be heard in the marriage. The man can have the opportunity to be himself and be cherished for it, and the wife will have the same chance. No one would relegate each other for certain trad. roles either. For example, the father of my children is a chef. He preferred to cook every meal we had. I personally, didn't mind, because he was a slob and I tackled the cleaning of the house. Did I make him feel like a "woman" for doing this thing he preferred? No way! Besides, once a week, I treated him to a meal as well, and he tackled the house work when I was at work too. My kids don't think that daddy is a weak fellow, in fact, he's as a strongwilled as they come. He just enjoyed the fact that I allowed him to be himself, with no judgement. I personally, love to build things with my hands (carpentry) and I work in IT. I own the power drill in the house. And it suits us just fine, and our culture is still preserved because we observe the traditional holidays, family events etc. We sometimes put our own spin on things, but at the end of the day, the level of stress is very minimal. 6 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 1:12pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
Mondisweets: and thats why i said u understand nothing about feminism, she is not fighting for position is head, she just wants both of them to treat each other equally. No one is trying to overthrow the other, like you are desparately trying to put it, feminists simply want BALANCE. Since you have chosen not to comprehend my simple breakdown on TEAM WORK and possible EGOISM(of a woman) that may eventually sets in on the long run in the family. I guess you know more than me because, for me to start a thread on a topic, yet all you could deduce is that, I know nothing about the topic just because; either you can't digest my comment or you feel its too much for you to flow with or you don't agree with my opinion(after all everyone is entitle to his opinion). That's your choice ma'am. NB: A good number of African women are ready to abuse FEMINISM and gear it towards their own ulterior motives thereby endangering our home. Happy Sunday |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 1:36pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
Mattin:so if they are abusing the ideology of feminism that makes them actual feminists. So because boko horam abuses the koran it makes them real muslims abi? 2 Likes |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 1:56pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
vivalableue: Thanks for the dropping by, you actually flowed with trend with no cog in the wheel. The matter I tried to raise is that; because feminism preach EQUALITY of GENDER, women should not take it for granted or abuse the TEAM WORK being observed by the husband. Like you said, your kids didn't see daddy as a weak fellow because he cook for the family, and you are not taking the help for granted too; which is a commendable approach. Some women are ready to snap at the husband when any opportunity present itself. Please always make your husband and kids happy and don't try feel superior to him or make the kid feel he's weak. God will help you to survive all odds. I wonder why my sisters down here find it hard to flow with my logical presentation; all they could see is that the OP doesn't know feminism,WTF! Vivalableue (a Caribbean or African-American) I guess, was even of the opinion that I hyped western too much. Well, maybe scared of going back to the stone age.lol Happy Sunday |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 7:31pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
Mondisweets: so if they are abusing the ideology of feminism that makes them actual feminists. So because boko horam abuses the koran it makes them real muslims abi? Feminism is the leverage for them and they do it on basis of EQUALITY which feminism preaches. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 8:44pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
Mattin:once u abuse something it no longer qualifies as equal equality means balance and fairness... Once its not balanced or fair, it probably isnt a feminist ideology 1 Like |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 10:17am On Sep 29, 2014 |
Mondisweets: once u abuse something it no longer qualifies as equal equality means balance and fairness... Once its not balanced or fair, it probably isnt a feminist ideologyBut feminism can be abused or taken for granted, after all, abuse is inevitable to feminism practice. |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 10:22am On Sep 29, 2014 |
Mattin:like i already asked you, just because boko horam abuses the qu'ran will that make them real muslims or simply terrorists hiding behind a particular religion? 1 Like |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Nobody: 10:37am On Sep 29, 2014 |
Mattin: In your own opinion what are the duties of a husband? |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by Mattin(m): 8:03pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
Mondisweets: like i already asked you, just because boko horam abuses the qu'ran will that make them real muslims or simply terrorists hiding behind a particular religion? If Boko haram abuse a quran, it doesn't change the fact that they are Muslim of course. Even if they behave as a terrorist afterward, they acted it on the leverage of Islam which support Jihad(holy war). You can't excommunicate them from Islam. So what are we saying here? |
Re: Will/Can A Feminist Make A Good And Wife Material? by bukatyne(f): 8:46pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
Mattin: And why should you push your wife around? Your post is based on the following premises: 1.That women can be pushed around by their hubbies and they have no right to say no 2. Headship as stated in the Bible is a position of authority where he is not accountable to anybody 3. There is a special respect reserved for the husband alone All these are faulty from a Christian POV. You can use culture to support your points anyways |
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