"Our” in this piece is of a restricted context. It encompasses the rational boys of today; the single lucid male youths threading the boulevards with the hope of meeting a special one someday; the bachelors with beautiful dreams and worthwhile strength of personality. There is a restriction: the restriction is not on the ground of wealth, background, tribe, religion or profession. The restriction is placed on the silhouettes behind our moral decadence, the heavy sleepers with no whit of dream, the common side attractions of our collective struggles, the morally sick young men we call players, users and dumpers for no commonsensical basis, the buyers of product not meant for sale. We write on behalf of well-brought-up young men and not dim-witted men.

Dear future wives, we are sure by the time you are done reading this piece, either of three things would happen: one, you would be glad you read this because it would help a bit to shape things. Second, you would realize how far your moral gullibility and shallow review has ruined things for you. Third, you would call the bluff off us in the silence of your mind because your decision has ruined and spoilt you beyond redemption or possible societal deliverance. So, you may just save yourself the stress of reading this piece of advice to the virtuous and genuine potential wives. We do know that one cannot teach an old dog a new trick. As for the future wives, join us as we set the ball of this societal concern rolling.

Permit us to use the word relationship for a constrained scope in this editorial. Relationship has become a free for all enterprise that even a genuine nincompoop can claim to be in love with a typical bimbo. Easy! We are neither condemning relationships nor writing against it, as long as it is a healthy relationship between two levelheaded persons with prospects and a clear goal of what they expect on the long run. Conversely, this position is near death in the hands of the Romeo and Juliet of our streets. Purpose, value, focus, determination and insight are dead and long buried in plethora of relationships. As a matter of verity, most boys and girls of today lack what it takes to be the men and women of tomorrow. Forget about the accumulation of years of existence that paints one as old! Of what use is the 60th marriage anniversary of a couple whose house serves as a worse point of reference when a dejected woman needs a reason to see her drunken husband as a lesser liability? For the avoidance of a breach of the long known truism that “time is money”, let us be prudent in its use as we grab the bull by the horn.

Dear future wives, we are moved by the turn and basis choice making takes in this new era, the fate of men who could not afford your heavy demands drew sympathy from us, we got concerned about your recent frolicking ride with the men who neither see your dream nor your future. To become a wife has indeed been adulterated since the personality of the so-called husband does not exclude being tagged a wife, but please do not make a beast or desperate beasts out of our men because of the new trend of getting enticed by cool rides. Let them follow the right route and get there instead of a shady deal to meet your giant list, and do not insult the genuine future wife by making people think all women can be bought the same way a Chinese doll can be hurriedly gotten even in a hold-up. You cannot walk few metres down the street before people start whispering about your records in relationship shenanigans in different places. You are the girlfriend of the boy with the blue Benz, you are the side chic of the one with the power bike, you are still seeing several others and you think you are a future wife? Maybe, but not the type anyone would pray for and not the type that would not reminisce and cry. A lady who chooses the player’s path is just like a football: it is kicked in group on the sand, grasses, mud and one day it would burst and be forgotten.

The title wife comes with great pride only if the man is worth it. Let us cut a little on the goose chase, you might never even earn that sacred title ‘wife’ if all that gets you giggling is a flash of currency you know not how to earn. So, our ‘chics` of today, you should know that it is not the glitz and glitters that made Oprah Winfrey neither is it hopping from one man to the other but the talent that was nurtured with endurance and patience. Olufunmilayo Kuti did not attain reverence through sleeping about and clinching to the ambitionless boys with swag. It is good to want a man that is an envy of every woman, the sad news is this; a lot of ladies are already in the business. Why not try to be the woman every man wants? Trust us, just that perfect look and body shape can’t take you there. Our ‘chics’ of today, look less at the cracks on his collar but more at the fire that burns in his eyes. He could afford a nicely styled shirt or maybe not but he has chosen to sow into a future; a tomorrow so big it will fulfill you and your lovely princes and princesses.

Count yourself lucky to have a man who understands ‘tomorrow’ not every man understands that tomorrow is beyond when we sleep at dusk and wake to a sunny next day. Your friends might laugh at his worn out shoes and faded shirt now but if you follow through with your dreams and support him as he actualizes his dreams, you will have a chance to show those ‘fry-end’ how feeble minded they were! Better decision, ignore their cynicism and make a comparison of your achievement in ten years if they are anywhere to be found. You might be so irritated by his lack of swagger because he will rather call you beautiful instead of the more trendy ‘hot’. Our dear future wives, trend is not forever and in few years swagger will not pay the bills. Like the famous Bible quote; “many were called but few were chosen”. To the very few who would earn the right to be a wife in the future; do not part with your dignity for a possession of a Victorian Secret. It fades away just like its fragrance. He is 20 and in 10 or 20 years time, his ambition is to be the new “Terry G” and you still see him as Mr. Right because his gifts have bought your focus off.

Note it; you will one day be the mother of that child the whole world wants to see on the platform: the platform of victory or that of shame. It is your decision today that determines what people will say about your unborn children tomorrow. Our future wives, look is good but it is just the icing on the cake and it does not last forever. Soon the wrinkles set in and the much idolized perfect lips crack when the Harmattan of life takes its toll. Listen carefully, money can be a tool; a bridge between where you are and where you can go in life but not a tool to pay for your love, time and affection. Those are priceless! Until you grasp this simple philosophy our dear wives; you will lose on that money can buy and chase fruitlessly that which money cannot buy. Brazilian hair and India curls may be in vogue, so were Afro and Kinki braids. Now, they are described as the ‘old fashion’. We beseech you, do not shut your brain for ‘braz’ and sell your future for ‘curls’, your heart is not a commodity to be purchased with money and your body is too dignified to be auctioned for a wealthy man who is too poor to afford good dreams and goals. Sooner than later, it will tangle but sadly along with your future. Watch him critically and examine his ways; if he is ambitious, industrious, God fearing and determined, you may have a rethink before an expensive gift from an acting lover boy buys your brain. A well-bred lady knows hopelessness, greed and low self esteem is the driving force for preferring material thing to a potential happy home and a man who sees through you.

Dear future wives, silver or gold we do not have but if you can take the pain to understand that the girl you are will be accountable to you, your fruits and generations to come, you will see a reason to drop your shallow assessment of men and look within for the one competent to be your King. This would also go a long way in reducing the business of “love buyers” and promote a noble treatment of women folk.

By Hidentity and Phronesis
Hidentity is an African
Miss Phronesis is a student of the premier university.

Apart from the fact that you made use of too many unnecessarily complicated words and statements with hidden meanings, the write up is all over the place.

There is nothing as good as simplicity

I can't read all this comprehension


You never heard of summary?

Priceless24: Apart from the fact that you made use of too many unnecessarily complicated words and statements with hidden meanings, the write up is all over the place.

There is nothing as good as simplicity

Typical Nigerian. When it is beyond them, they'll rant tigers and elephants.

What's the shame in using a dictionary? If his diction is beyond you, move on quietly. Stop making noise everywhere.

Ekiseme: I can't read all this comprehension


You never heard of summary?

It's not a comprehension. You do not read a comprehension. Comprehension is the reason for reading with the intent to see if you understand or connect to whatever you are reading.

Focus on learning how to use the right terms while communicating before advising the OP to use a summary. First things first

Double post.

lomaxx:


Typical Nigerian. When it is beyond them, they'll rant tigers and elephants.

What's the shame in using a dictionary? If his diction is beyond you, move on quietly. Stop making noise everywhere.

Trust me his diction is not above me, I am as educated as I need to be. I am not ashamed to open my webster's at any point. In fact, I use it daily, but it doesn't mean that everybody else on this forum has the kind of patience I had to sift through the epistle the OP posted.

Nairaland is a free forum, I don't see how my comment directly affects you.

lomaxx:

It's not a comprehension. You do not read a comprehension. Comprehension is the reason for reading with the intent to see if you understand or connect to whatever you are reading.

Focus on learning how to use the right terms while communicating before advising the OP to use a summary. First things first

chinua achebe....and who asked for your explanation? I don't need you to enlighten me on what i already knew,carry your grammar go Cambridge

lomaxx:


Typical Nigerian. When it is beyond them, they'll rant tigers and elephants.

What's the shame in using a dictionary? If his diction is beyond you, move on quietly. Stop making noise everywhere.

oga take your b1tch ass to Hollywood,don't act emeritus here

Ekiseme: oga take your b1tch ass to Hollywood,don't act emeritus here

Ekiseme: chinua achebe....and who asked for your explanation? I don't need you to enlighten me on what i already knew, carry your grammar go Cambridge

Your ilk should be banned for mentioning Chinua Achebe (may his soul rest in peace).

You should rather say "I don't need you to enlighten me on what I already know". How did you pass WASSCE?

See? Just when you thought it was so simple. It shamed you (and whoever liked your post) right in the face.

PS: Thanks for the wish but I'm not interested in Cambridge.

lomaxx:



Your ilk should be banned for mentioning Chinua Achebe (may his soul rest in peace).

You should rather say "I don't need you to enlighten me on what I already know". How did you pass WASSCE?

See? Just when you thought it was so simple. It shamed you (and whoever liked your post) right in the face.

PS: Thanks for the wishes but I'm not interested in Cambridge.

get lost man,Grammarian

The tree that bears good fruits is prone to more bruises from stones.