I am sure I would be able to get different perspective on this very troubling matter on this forum. This is a true life situation that I happen to be privy to some of the information.

The Background.

This is a poor family in one of Nigerian's towns with parents struggling to train up their kids. A so called 'Job Offer Opportunity' comes from a Nigerian business owner in South Africa who according to this family needs a Nigerian lady that can help him in his business and that has experience with computers. This man isn't a direct blood relative of this family, but was introduced by his Grandmother to them in church. So the Grandmother here in Nigeria speaks with this family and they release their 19yr old daughter to this man. This girl is just done with secondary school and was just at home. He would supposedly employ her in his business and send her to University while serving him. The family said they prayed about it and that all is fine. They believe it's all a job offer and no strings attached because it was sanctioned in the church, and because they prayed about it. The typical religious Nigerian mentality that is attracted to money and power and blinded to reality. They also believe nothing can go wrong because they know his Grandmom here.

She's gone now(on a legit 5yr work visa), and he gets her a very new expensive phone(Samsung Galaxy Note4) and she changes her wardrobe and is very flashy on Facebook and I thought too myself this must be a very special employee ....from South Africa to Nigeria. This man is in his 40s and is unmarried. I don't know his past or if he's divorced or if he has a wife/kids elsewhere.

My Question is Can all these be for free without any strings attached. It baffles me the level of Naivety of some families. Any other experiences from the house. How is this likely to end?

Booked.

Honestly, It looks like the man is grooming her to be his wife, or at the very least he would sleep with her. and the parent's don't seem to mind. But then maybe am wrong, but most definitely it can't be for free it most likely the man came from SA to hustle wife.

yes it could be for free.maybe when the girl got there she has no phone and no gud clothes so the man decided to buy her a phone and change her wardrobe,to me o it could be free since the girl is like a daughter to him and she is leaving with him and she would be helping him in his business.maybe the business requires that she owns a good phone and dresses well too...and if the man is doing otherwise the girl can easily contact her parents.....anyways only God knows.

If u guys feel its not free who am I to say its free, I mean who better to understand guys if not guys like u.
Make the girl use her sense tell make he go do Hiv test b4 anything o cos Aids too plenty for SA.

Godsfavour001: yes it could be for free.maybe when the girl got there she has no phone and no gud clothes so the man decided to buy her a phone and change her wardrobe,to me o it could be free since the girl is like a daughter to him and she is leaving with him and she would be helping him in his business.maybe the business requires that she owns a good phone and dresses well too...and if the man is doing otherwise the girl can easily contact her parents.....anyways only God knows.

Hmmm, but why the latest phone? Samsung galaxy 4 we talking about here. Are there no other lesser phones that can do the work? Let me agree with you she needs it. He is feeding her and is under his care. This is someone recommended to him by his grandmum, he is also unmarried . He has so far done everything for her, got her a work visa, processed it for her, bought her flight ticket and most importantly will train her in University....all these for free

Are there still good men on this planet like that without no strings attached. like i said at the very least he would sleep with her

Nothing in this life is free... Shine your eyes..

I think that's none of your business unless the girl or her family is complaining

Are you envious @ OP?

Worst case scenario, he will marry the girl,is that a problem for you?

The family all can't be stuuupid and you the OP, the only wise man, yes?

ifyalways: Are you envious @ OP?

Worst case scenario, he will marry the girl,is that a problem for you?

The family all can't be stuuupid and you the OP, the only wise man, yes?

But the family can be blinded by the allure of Money and Power , and from an expedient level it is easier to outsource your parental responsibilities especially when you are struggling to meet those responsibilities.

No Ma, It's not a problem for me . If the parents are comfortable with arranged marriage situation , what's my own. Am not naive, neither am I a kid and these are experiences I have seen and want to learn from. I don't subscribe to this is not your business/mind your business crap, because i want to learn from other people's experiences and because this is a personal reflection on the issue. I would also like to know other people's expeiences on these kind of things. It's a fascinating story to me on the Power of money and what poverty leads parents to do.

each to his own

Toby77:

But the family can be blinded by the allure of Money and Power , and from an expedient level it is easier to outsource your parental responsibilities especially when you are struggling to meet those responsibilities.

No Ma, It's not a problem for me . If the parents are comfortable with arranged marriage situation , what's my own. Am not naive, neither am I a kid and these are experiences I have seen and want to learn from. I don't subscribe to this is not your business/mind your business crap, because i want to learn from other people's experiences and because this is a personal reflection on the issue. I would also like to know other people's expeiences on these kind of things. It's a fascinating story to me on the Power of money and what poverty leads parents to do.

each to his own

Thank you.

So you are already hoping or expecting there's something you will learn from this girls experience?

All the best while you wait for that " sour news".

ifyalways:

Thank you.

So you are already hoping or expecting there's something you will learn from this girls experience?

All the best while you wait for that " sour news".

Whatever news it is, it's a learning experience. It may or maynot be sour

Donxavier:

Hmmm, but why the latest phone? Samsung galaxy 4 we talking about here. Are there no other lesser phones that can do the work? Let me agree with you she needs it. He is feeding her and is under his care. This is someone recommended to him by his grandmum, he is also unmarried . He has so far done everything for her, got her a work visa, processed it for her, bought her flight ticket and most importantly will train her in University....all these for free

Are there still good men on this planet like that without no strings attached. like i said at the very least he would sleep with her

So are you saying the only reason you think there is more to it is because of the latest phone

r231:

So are you saying the only reason you think there is more to it is because of the latest phone

Brov, honestly am slpit . It's really hard to believe a man will come all the way from SA to do this without anything in it for him. What is so special about this lady . I dunno but It's hard to believe he's only doing this from the goodness of his heart.

because think of it, he's not her uncle or even a distant relative and he's unmarried. He's wealthy, are you telling me there are no nigerian employees in SA that he prefers to come back to nigeria to pick a girl? I dunno sha

Toby77:
I am sure I would be able to get different perspective on this very troubling matter on this forum. This is a true life situation that I happen to be privy to some of the information.
The Background.
This is a poor family in one of Nigerian's towns with parents struggling to train up their kids. A so called 'Job Offer Opportunity' comes from a Nigerian business owner in South Africa who according to this family needs a Nigerian lady that can help him in his business and that has experience with computers. This man isn't a direct blood relative of this family, but was introduced by his Grandmother to them in church. So the Grandmother here in Nigeria speaks with this family and they release their 19yr old daughter to this man. This girl is just done with secondary school and was just at home. He would supposedly employ her in his business and send her to University while serving him. The family said they prayed about it and that all is fine. They believe it's all a job offer and no strings attached because it was sanctioned in the church, and because they prayed about it. The typical religious Nigerian mentality that is attracted to money and power and blinded to reality. They also believe nothing can go wrong because they know his Grandmom here.
She's gone now(on a legit 5yr work visa), and he gets her a very new expensive phone(Samsung Galaxy Note4) and she changes her wardrobe and is very flashy on Facebook and I thought too myself this must be a very special employee ....from South Africa to Nigeria. This man is in his 40s and is unmarried. I don't know his past or if he's divorced or if he has a wife/kids elsewhere.
My Question is Can all these be for free without any strings attached. It baffles me the level of Naivety of some families. Any other experiences from the house. How is this likely to end?

Sorry, I don't see what the problem is.

The girl is 19. An adult. Her family back home are struggling to provide the basics after breeding like rabbits. (Where are the proponents of marry-now-plan-later God-will-provide?)

She's in touch with her family and knows the way home if she feels uncomfortable with the arrangement. She isn't pr0stitut!ng herself in Itlay. The (unmarried) guy in question has so far, kept to his side if the bargain.

So what's the problem again? Her new phone? Swanky clothes? Able to feed? Opportunity to further her education?

Abeg clarify what your issue is with the arrangement, for which the relevant parties concerned seem fine with?

Donxavier:

Brov, honestly am slpit . It's really hard to believe a man will come all the way from SA to do this without anything in it for him. What is so special about this lady . I dunno but It's hard to believe he's only doing this from the goodness of his heart.

because think of it, he's not her uncle or even a distant relative and he's unmarried. He's wealthy, are you telling me there are no nigerian employees in SA that he prefers to come back to nigeria to pick a girl? I dunno sha

Trust me he might be doing it from the goodness of his heart.......it's his money so he can go to Gambia to find employee if he wants.

Depending on the kind of business he does, appearance might be a factor and that's why he changed her wardrobe and give her the latest technology. At least OP didn't say they took her there to work as housemaid!

So maybe he has seen some potential in her and he feels the right thing to do is invest on her.

OP, are you jealous?

r231:

Trust me he might be doing it for goodness of his heart.......it's his money so he can go to Gambia to find employee if he wants.

Depending on the kind of business he does, appearance might be a factor and that's why he changed her wardrobe and give her the latest technology. At least OP didn't say they took her there to work as housemaid!

So maybe he has seen some potential in her and he feels the right thing to do is invest on her.

Hmmmn, he would also send her to University and train her in higher education...All these massive investment just from the goodness of his heart

Well, maybe there are still some very selfless men left on earth.

Donxavier:

Hmmmn, he would also send her to University and train her in higher education...All these massive investment just from the goodness of his heart

Well, maybe there are still some very selfless men left on earth.

Still don't see a big deal in it.......

If the man is blessed and decides to bless a less privileged family is it a crime?

He might just want to touch a life you know.

EfemenaXY:

Sorry, I don't see what the problem is.

The girl is 19. An adult. Her family back home are struggling to provide the basics after breeding like rabbits. (Where are the proponents of marry-now-plan-later God-will-provide?)

She's in touch with her family and knows the way home if she feels uncomfortable with the arrangement. She isn't pr0stitut!ng herself in Itlay. The (unmarried) guy in question has so far, kept to his side if the bargain.

So what's the problem again? Her new phone? Swanky clothes? Able to feed? Opportunity to further her education?

Abeg clarify what your issue is with the arrangement, for which the relevant parties concerned seem fine with?

Like I have said above, the issue isn't a problem with me since the parents are cool with it. It's most likely an arranged marriage situation that her parents approve off, so that's not the issue.

she's not an adult, she's still naive and inexperienced. Why would a parent put his own child in a position where she's indebted to any man? she hasn't even gone to Uni sef...If the girl had graduated from University then made the decision on her own that's a different case. The parents hold more responsibity here for outsourcing and putting their child at the mercy of this helper/Sponsor.

Toby77:

Like I have said above, the issue isn't a problem with me since the parents are cool with it. It's most likely an arranged marriage situation that her parents approve off, so that's not the issue.

she's not an adult, she's still naive and inexperienced. Why would a parent put his own child in a position where she's indebted to any man? she hasn't even gone to Uni sef...If the girl had graduated from University then made the decision on her own that's a different case. The parents hold more responsibity here for outsourcing and putting their child at the mercy of this helper/Sponsor.

19yr old in not an adult

Welcome to civilisation boss

r231:

19yr old in not an adult

Welcome to civilisation boss

When is someone an adult?

r231:

Still don't see a big deal in it.......

If the man is blessed and decides to bless a less privileged family is it a crime?

Bros, maybe because you are a big man ......It's still hard for me to comprehend ......follow the story

He is unmarried, Picks up a young girl, Gets her a 5 year work visa, Bought her a new phone, Changed her wardrobe, Will send her to University, She's with him, he feeds and houses her

Inshort, he's already her Olori Owo ....... he's grooming a wife

carefreewannabe:

When is someone an adult?

Read what the OP said!

Toby77:

Like I have said above, the issue isn't a problem with me since the parents are cool with it. It's most likely an arranged marriage situation that her parents aprprove off, so that's not the issue.

she's not an adult, she's still naive and inexperienced. Why would a parent put his own child in a position where she's indebted to any man? she hasn't even gone to Uni sef...If the girl had graduated from University then made the decision on her own that's a different case. The parents hold more responsibility here for outsourcing and putting their child at the mercy of this helper/Sponsor.

r231:

Read what the OP said!

I have. I am interested in what you think now.

Donxavier:

Bros, maybe because you are a big man ......It's still hard for me to comprehend ......follow the story

He is unmarried, Picks up a young girl, Gets her a 5 year work visa, Bought her a new phone, Changed her wardrobe, Will send her to University, She's with him, he feeds and houses her

Inshort, he's already her Olori Owo ....... he's grooming a wife

Again still not a big deal!

So doing good is only limited to married people

carefreewannabe:

I have. I am interested in what you think now.

I don't know how they work it out in Nigeria but on my side of town -

At 16 you are partly classed as a Young Adult

At 18 you are legally an Adult 100%

r231:

19yr old in not an adult

Welcome to civilisation boss

I mean she's not yet properly mature to make this kind of life decisions on her own. It's the parents that should be blamed for placing her in a situation where she owes her life to a 'so called wealthy business owner'. the best possible outcome is if the man is a genuinely upright man and fears the Lord truly, otherwise it's not the best. This is what poverty causes, why place the training of your kids on another man because he has the money, thereby mortgaging the young girl as an investment hoping it all turns right.

r231:

I don't know how they work it out in Nigeria but on my side of town -

At 16 you are partly classed as a Young Adult

At 18 you are legally an Adult 100%

Are you ok with this classification?

OP,

Why did you bring our story here....

r231:

Again still not a big deal!

So doing good is only limited to married people

Offcourse not, this just looks like a classic case of wife grooming