Watching Football with our wives can be very annoying, frustrating and stressful.

The example below is typical (I pity the guy no b small):

Wife: Dipo, who's that guy. Is that Chris Brown?

Husband: Chris bawo, no na. that's Theo Walcott!!!

Wife: Hey! Oh he looks like Chris ni....What's that yellow card for?

Husband: Its a warning to a player; and red means the player must stop playing and leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something similar to a traffic light: Yellow - warning, Red - Stop.

Husband: Yeah yeah sure.. You are right.!!

Wife: What about the green card?

Husband: Ohhh! there's nothing like that in football.

Wife: Which teams are these?

Husband: Which kind wahala be this na!! God! It's Arsenal and Chelsea. What again!

Wife: Ok ok ok! What colour is Arsenal putting on?

Husband: No be red jersey be that?

Wife: Ok..which team is putting on blue?

Husband: (upset)...Omg, Haba, Wetin na. Don't you know its Chelsea?

Wife: Enhe? Wow! I want Arsenal to win the world cup.

Husband: (depressed, and nod his head in pity) ohk, me too.....

Wife: Take am easy na! Please who's that old man?

Husband: Hmmm... that's Arsenal's coach, Arsene Wenger

Wife:Oooh Ok..... I understand now. Sooo that means the other coach is Chelsea Wenger?

Husband: Wo, arabirin free me jare!! (Changes Super Sport Channel to African Magic).

Still funny. Though I first read this 10yrs ago

lols......

its not fair oh

Very true actually

If u are not the patient one,it will be difficult watching football match with ur spouse except she is not the lousy type, u may be hearing something like, darling why is the golekeeper flying like a bird what is he upto. But its full of fun sha.

Bidding starts from $6.99.....highest bidder gets this space.. bidding ends 13.00

Stale buh still funny tho

oliverscurd419: Watching Football with our wives can be very annoying, frustrating and stressful.
The example below is typical (I pity the guy no b small):
Wife: Dipo, who's that guy. Is that Chris Brown?
Husband: Chris bawo, no na. that's Theo Walcott!!!
Wife: Hey! Oh he looks like Chris ni....What's that yellow card for?
Husband: Its a warning to a player; and red means the player must stop playing and leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something similar to a traffic light: Yellow - warning, Red - Stop.
Husband: Yeah yeah sure.. You are right.!!
Wife: What about the green card?
Husband: Ohhh! there's nothing like that in football.
Wife: Which teams are these?
Husband: Which kind wahala be this na!! God! It's Arsenal and Chelsea. What again!
Wife: Ok ok ok! What colour is Arsenal putting on?
Husband: No be red jersey be that?
Wife: Ok..which team is putting on blue?
Husband: (upset)...Omg, Haba, Wetin na. Don't you know its Chelsea?
Wife: Enhe? Wow! I want Arsenal to win the world cup.
Husband: (depressed, and nod his head in pity) ohk, me too.....
Wife: Take am easy na! Please who's that old man?
Husband: Hmmm... that's Arsenal's coach, Arsene Wenger
Wife:Oooh Ok..... I understand now. Sooo that means the other coach is Chelsea Wenger?
Husband: Wo, arabirin free me jare!! (Changes Super Sport Channel to African Magic).

Best way to watch football with your wife. Works for me every weekend

Humm.

kaka hoho

Funny tho especially arabinrin free me jare

SmellMyFart: Still funny. Though I first read this 10yrs ago?

Same for me. I still had a laugh

imoleay0: HOW MANY TIMES WILL THIS COME TO FRONT PAGE?

As many times as the Mods feels like... Enjoy it

Hahahhaa

then u should be ready to bear with her

imoleay0: HOW MANY TIMES WILL THIS COME TO FRONT PAGE?
NO,
GO AHEAD
ANSWER THE QUESTION...

ĨŦ ŤĤĨŚ ĎĨĎŃ'Ť MÁĶĔ Ú ĹÁÚĞĤ...

ĔVĔŃ ßŐVĨ ČÁŃŤ

She will see scores 1:1 and still ask, Dear, who dey win? She will see green vs red jersey and still ask, Dear, which country is red? Also, evry player go become Mikel. If we score, she ll say, is it Mikel, if we loose chance, is it Mikel. Help me answer her o.

Na to jst leave d tv 4 ha enta bedroom go slip..

Make i follow post "Lol" no be say i dae laff oh

Please I want to make use of this space abeg

Not funny jor

[size=15pt] RIB CRACKER JOKES [/size]

JOKE 1
An Igbo man mistakenly sent 2million Naira to a wrong phone number via Mobile Money. He realized that before the person would withdraw the whole money, he had to think of what to do if he was to get his money back. To the person's phone number, he immediately sent a text:

"Hello Dark and Worthy Initiate, I hope you are okay. I believe you’ve received the money I sent you for the initiation ceremony into Eternal Mystical Order Of Glorious Satanism in the Ancient Ogboni Fraternity, scheduled to happen at 12midnight tomorrow. That money is only for transport. You shall receive more for pocket money and there are riches awaiting you. 2 weeks after the initiation, the family member closest to you will die under mysterious circumstances and
this death will unlock your ticket to wealth, ability to fly at night and change into all kinds of animals to deliver your various assignments. Remember, you can buy your own syringe and needle meant to draw your blood before you enter the temple. Please don’t be late because the Viceroy of Satan himself will be present to officiate the ceremony. Thanks in advance. But incase you are not ready to join yet, please send back the money otherwise you will die in the next 24hrs". 3 Minutes later, he got a Mobile Money message: 'You have received 2million Naira in your mobile money... If na U gt d Alert, wetin U go do?

JOKE 2
Police officers were at a road block. One of them stops a trailer:
POLICEMAN: Where is your permit?
DRIVER: (Hands in his permit)
POLICEMAN: Do you have an extinguisher?
DRIVER: Yes, its there…
POLICEMAN: Light up your indicators.
DRIVER: (Light his indicators)
POLICEMAN: Do you have a seat belt?
DRIVER: Yes, I have.
POLICEMAN: Hunk your horn let me hear.
The driver hunks his horn. The policeman turns to his fellow officers and says the man has everything and they decided to let him go. As the driver was about to drive away, one of the police officers suddenly shouts:
POLICEMAN: Is your SIM-card registered?
DRIVER: (Completely surprised) No.
POLICEMAN: Park! Park there!!! How can you drive without registering your number? What if you are involvein an accident, how will we identify you?

JOKE 3
Akpos was on the bed with his wife, sleeping. He dreamt he was in heaven. When he got to heaven’s gate, he met an angel who started showing him everything. After a while Akpos asked the angel; can i piss here?.
Angel replied ; it’s not allowed but you can. A short while later again, Akpos asked; can i mess here ?.
Angel replied ; it’s not allowed but you can. Minutes later,again, Akpos asked; can i poo here ?. Angel replied ; it’s not allowed but you can.
Akpos saw a flower and asked the angel; can i use the flower to clean my butt ?.
Angel said; it’s not allowed but you can. As Akpos was about to use the flower to clean his butt, a hot slap landed on his face….then his Wife shouted; you piss for bed, i no talk, you mess, i leave you, i no talk, you poo on top bed, i leave you, i no talk.You now want to use my wrapper clean your bottom, You dey
mad ?..

JOKE 4
E get one particular restaurant wey I dey chop 4 wuse zone 5 E get one oyinbo wey dey always come chop there too

Anytime dis oyinbo chop finish, he go shout "Hey", so I wonder wetin dey make am shout.

I decided to chop wetin d oyinbo dey always chop so maybe me sef go shout too. When I reach d restaurant yesterday evening, I order wetin d man dey chop.

Dem tell me say na chicken & red wine, so i chop am, but i no shout, I collect extra plate, but i no still shout. I say dis oyinbo na mumu o, why e dey always shout like dat now

Na then i just vex ask 4 my bill. The waiter tell me say one plate of chicken & red wine na N75,000 then d extra plate too na another N75,000. Na then I shout hey! heyy!! heyyy!!! !!!! heyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyy ..
I still dey shout till now

JOKE 5
A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor. Sir, do you know everything about law?
Professor: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".
The Professor agreed.
Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no
answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".

The following day, professor asked same question to his students.He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.He asked one student. The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical.Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."
The professor collapsed..."

JOKE 6
I was in a taxi chatting with my friend on whatsapp and suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside me was reading my conversation.

Since i did not want to embarrass the man, i decided to change the topic of the chat;

Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the bombs we just manufactured for this operation.Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode because there is
terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless, I am sure casualty figure will be high since we are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. We have less than 3minutes for the bomb to go off bye bye and take care of my parents and siblings as agreed.

The Man, without allowing the taxi to stop quickly opened the taxi door and jumped out

JOKE 7

In an examination, Akpos was asked to complete the following:
1. He who fights and runs away?
Akpos: E don surrender be dat na, na fear catch am

2. A rolling stone?
Akpos: No fit just dey roll, na person push am.

3. He who lives in a glass house?
Akpos: Na rich politician e go be.

4. A stitch in time?
Akpos: Dey prevent further tear tear.

5. Birds of the same feather? Akpos:
Na the same mama born them.

6. One good turn?
Akpos: Na correct power steering fit do am.

7. A bird in hand?
Akpos: Wetin e wan be again if no be barbeque?

8. Half bread is better than? Akpos:
Puff puff, buns or garri without sugar.

9. A journey of a thousand miles?
Akpos: Na d person wahala be dat na, Why e no enter car or plane jeje?

10. He who laughs last?
Akpos: Get brain problem. Make dem examine am, becos na beginning of madness be dat.

11. A patient dog?
Akpos: Na hunger go kill am.

12. All work and no play?
Akpos: Na bank job be dat bros.

13. Once beaten?
Akpos: Na revenge go follow be dat.

What grade do you think Akpos deserves for this answers?


to be continued...

marieolae: Very true actually

yeah,arsenal should wait till they win world cup

Old joke, @least make we just contribute laff

Why not make her like football instead...Read this post "How to get your lover to like football" Here . If you apply the simple strategies, she will love footy more than you do

Lol.