Pls what again should i do to stop my Wife from telling lies?,I need a serious advice pls.I somehow noticed this attitude during the short time we dated before marriage,thinking she will change with time.First year in marriage to second to third,now to our six year,the marriage is still facing lack of trust from my wife.This is somebody that can never tell you the truth no matter how you asked her,unless she noticed that i am 200% sure/ have proof of what i am asking her,then she has no option than to agree.If i start narrating all shocking lies she has exhibited since i got married to her,it will take several pages of this forum.I have sat her down several times and begged her to stop telling lies,she may agree at that moment that she will stop,but not to be.Last time i invited a man of God in house and complained this kind of challenge to him in the presence of my Wife,the man of God counselled us on it,which she accepted that she will work on it and make an amends,yet till today,she is still telling lies.It makes me feel angry and has drastically reduced my love over her.The one she acted yesterday made me to get much annoyed that i told her that since she has made me to loose trust on her since i married her,that today(yesterday),she MUST take an oath for me by holding an object and say some words on it,that ever since she got married to me,that she has NEVER slept with other men.She say she is a Christian and can not swear such.Please what should i do to make my wife to desist from telling lies?,Everybody knows the effect of lack of trust in marriage.Advise Pls!.

brb lemme read b4 i coment

Why do people think that their partners will change their personalities after marriage?

I really don't know what to tell you.
From my experience I can say that some people have difficulties telling lies and others the truth.

I don't know how to change the latter

Your wife told you that she will not swear because she is a Christian. Ask her if she has forgotten that each lie is a sin?

Ok. first if you live abroad two of you should seek the services of a certified professional marriage counselor before you destroy your marriage. Lying could be pathological or habitual like smoking. They are dangerous but people get addicted to them anyway. It could also be due to fear of repercussions or feeling of insecurity if the liar feels that telling the truth will attract punishment.

Is she afraid of you? Is she worried about losing your love? Does she feel insecure in the marriage? Do you flair up and threaten her when she does some things you don't like? Are you yourself being open and honest to her to instill a mutual trust?, Is she fulfilled in the marriage? Is the financial, educational, social gap between you too wide that it looks more like a boss-servant relationship? etc

Find the cause of an illness and treat it and not just the symptom.

@ OP, the truth is that this is a cross you have to bear and endure. It will only take special grace of God for her to change. Just pray for her to have fear of God in her. At least if she no fear you to lie,she go fear God. Till then,u have to endure that aspect of her and keep praying that your marriage will not colapse. I can't imagine how strong a marriage will stand if there is no trust. For the unmarried,whatever you can't tolerate in a man or a woman,pls don't go ahead with the marriage cos he or she won't change unless by the special grace of God.

Why do people LIE?
People only lie when they do/go wrong.

The implication is that your wife is seriously engaged with evil acts.

Divorce her NOW before she sends you to the grave.

Acidosis: Why do people LIE?
People only lie when they do/go wrong.

The implication is that your wife is seriously engaged with evil acts.

Divorce her NOW before she sends you to the grave.

@OP, what are the things she lies about?

Godmystrength:

Acidosis:

I am sure it's a big joke hmm?

Woged2005: Ok. first if you live abroad two of you should seek the services of a certified professional marriage counselor before you destroy your marriage. Lying could be pathological or habitual like smoking. They are dangerous but people get addicted to them anyway. It could also be due to fear of repercussions or feeling of insecurity if the liar feels that telling the truth will attract punishment.

Is she afraid of you? Is she worried about losing your love? Does she feel insecure in the marriage? Do you flair up and threaten her when she does some things you don't like? Are you yourself being open and honest to her to instill a mutual trust?, Is she fulfilled in the marriage? Is the financial, educational, social gap between you too wide that it looks more like a boss-servant relationship? etc

Find the cause of an illness and treat it and not just the symptom.

for me,i dont think it is fear of repercussions,or insecurity or afraid of what? etc.Somebody that was telling lies when i did not marry her but because i did not date her long and rushed into marrying her thinking such will be corrected.From my experience,telling lies(lack of trust in marriage) is very bad and can causes heart break and psychological trauma.It is never a good marriage experience.I dont know what else to do to handle this situation.

People who lie do not need reasons to. I have such a friend, I feel so bad for her. Its a big bond. They can't even help themselves.

Godmystrength: I am sure it's a big joke hmm?

A serial liar is a killer

Divorce is the only option mama

Acidosis:
A serial liar is a killer

Divorce is the only option mama

so if you have a child that tells lies, what will you do? disown the child??

where women are been told to stick to/stand by a cheating partner and be praying for him, you are asking a man to divorce his wife because of lieing??

Godmystrength: so if you have a child that tells lies, what will you do? disown the child??

where women are been told to stick to/stand by a cheating partner and be praying for him, you are asking a man to divorce his wife because of lieing??

A Liar is a thief, a cheat, a witch, a crook, infact shes anything evil put together.

She'll always deny ALL her evil acts.

Only children with poor parenting tell lies, so it would be wrong to disown a lieing child.

As regards a lying wife; the best remedy is to seek a divorce. Thereafter she can go back to her parents home to learn the rudiments of TRUTH. I will do same to a bad cook.

Marriage is a contract and it is expected of both parties to fulfill and maintain the rules of engagement.

deliverance!!!!!!, she needs deliverance serious one.

Acidosis:
A Liar is a thief, a cheat, a witch, a crook, infact shes anything evil put together.

She'll always deny ALL her evil acts.

Only children with poor parenting tell lies, so it would be wrong to disown a lieing child.

As regards a lieing wife; the best remedy is to seek a divorce. Thereafter she can go back to her parents home to learn the rudiments of TRUTH. I will do same to a bad cook.

Marriage is a contract and it is expected of both parties to fulfill and maintain the rules of engagement.

i don't agree with that bolded part
A case where parent have 5children and 2 tell lies are you saying they were bad parents to the 2 liars?

veave: People who lie do not need reasons to. I have such a friend, I feel so bad for her. Its a big bond. They can't even help themselves.

lol...dis made me remember a fwend i use to have too, the rate at which she lies equals d rate at which her heart beats. D most annoying is even if u catch her red-handed, she will deny it. Yoruba call it "IRO OJUKOROJU". I hate liars!!! Nt to talk of chronic ones, na gobe o.

whilst no human is perfect, and your wife hasnt been given the platform to defend herself; however, you sound like a very insecure man who is huffing and puffing simply because your wife did not swear to sango or whatever. When you married her, did you swear to sango during your ceremony? Can you swear to Sango that you havent committed fornication/adultery during the entire time you have been with her? [s]Na your type de put magun for em wife body[/s]
I have briefly gone through your previous topics and it appears you married her because you got her knocked up. Your 2nd post on this thread states that "lying can cause heartbreak and emotional bla bla bla". My question is these, why stay with someone you dont trust? is it the satisfaction of "I knew it, I was right all along" or what?

@Op, your wife is a what? A serial liar. Lying is like a hubby to her, she care less if you found out the truth. My take is, "it is your cross" you saw her before you married her "so carry your cross"

OP give us detailed scenarios.
Always know that when someone tells you one lie she will 2million more to cover the first one, such habits don't always get better with time

You invited a 'man of god' yet u want her to swear while holding 'something'. And u are supposed to be a Christian. I keep saying it, God has left Nigerians because of d hypocrisy in d land. It stinks to high heavens.
As for ur marital issue, u married a liar, deal with it or move on.

pelusi: The one she acted yesterday made me to get much annoyed that i told her that since she has made me to loose trust on her since i married her,that today(yesterday),she MUST take an oath for me by holding an object and say some words on it,that ever since she got married to me,that she has NEVER slept with other men.She say she is a Christian and can not swear such.Please what should i do to make my wife to desist from telling lies?,Everybody knows the effect of lack of trust in marriage.Advise Pls!.

What kind of christian are you too? Asking someone to swear an oath with an object? both of you have lost you way in the christian journey and you both need to help each other retrace your steps...
NB: Sin is Sin before God. No big or small sin..
You lie = SIN
You swear an oath with an object = SIN
You commit adultery = SIN etc

Acidosis:
A Liar is a thief, a cheat, a witch, a crook, infact shes anything evil put together.

She'll always deny ALL her evil acts.

Only children with poor parenting tell lies, so it would be wrong to disown a lieing child.

As regards a lieing wife; the best remedy is to seek a divorce. Thereafter she can go back to her parents home to learn the rudiments of TRUTH. I will do same to a bad cook.

Marriage is a contract and it is expected of both parties to fulfill and maintain the rules of engagement.

What if she's a product of bad parenting; everyone's a child u know and her parents didn't disown her. Please don't encourage divorce.

@op, sit her down and talk it over.

Is she scared of u?
Does she lie to impress u in cases where your expectations of her are high?
What is your communication level as a couple?
Are u trustworthy?
Can she confide in you?
Do you use harsh tones when talking to her? Et.c

All I'm trying to say that you may need to involve a third party in this. U can help her since the bad habit has already eaten deep. Help her build confidence in herself. To say a word, stand by it, defend it and be held accountable for it, no matter what anyone thinks of her.
And don't forget to pray together about it and God Almighty will help you both.

Cheers

I had a lying boyfriend back den, whom I loved soo much, he lies unnecessarily, couldn't stand him, I walked out of d relationship painfully.

Godmystrength: i don't agree with that bolded part
A case where parent have 5children and 2 tell lies are you saying they were bad parents to the 2 liars?

may be

@ poster the truth is your wife isn't going to change anytime soon
So I suggest you don't take anything she tells you and make her know you don't trust her
When she is talking to anybody around you
Just tell them before hand that ah
My wife is. Serial liar oh please don't believe her
I assure you within one year she go change:-)

1960chic:


What if she's a product of bad parenting; everyone's a child u know and her parents didn't disown her. Please don't encourage divorce.

@op, sit her down and talk it over.

Is she scared of u?
Does she lie to impress u in cases where your expectations of her are high?
What is your communication level as a couple?
Are u trustworthy?
Can she confide in you?
Do you use harsh tones when talking to her? Et.c

All I'm trying to say that you may need to involve a third party in this. U can help her since the bad habit has already eaten deep. Help her build confidence in herself. To say a word, stand by it, defend it and be held accountable for it, no matter what anyone thinks of her.
And don't forget to pray together about it and God Almighty will help you both.

Cheers

cool points ma'am.

Acidosis:
may be

like selective parenting abi?

sexybash: @ poster the truth is your wife isn't going to change anytime soon
So I suggest you don't take anything she tells you and make her know you don't trust her
When she is talking to anybody around you
Just tell them before hand that ah
My wife is. Serial liar oh please don't believe her
I assure you within one year she go change:-)

I don't think that is a good idea. So what happens when she is changed? Go back to all the people and start telling them that wifey has changed or what?

cocoberry: I had a lying boyfriend back den, whom I loved soo much, he lies unnecessarily, couldn't stand him, I walked out of d relationship painfully.

Only somebody who have experienced this kind of thing will know its one of the worst kind of experience in relationship or marriage.Good that you walked out on time.

You knew she was a chronic liar and you went ahead to marry her? Well,that's your cross for you to carry until you decide you don't want the marriage any longer. But I don't think a lying wife is enough reasons to walk out of the marriage.

Sorry o!