*following*

Didnt see my name among the invitees....seems am nadt invited....#thinkin.......D9ty7 oya come and complete your story asap....

Divepen: Chinedu shillaps nauh

Lols..boss shey na latin you dey speek?

Olaooni88: *following*

Welcome dear

Seanixking: Didnt see my name among the invitees....seems am nadt invited....#thinkin.......D9ty7 oya come and complete your story asap....

Oga no be so o..forgive your humble omoshe.
*directs him to the high table*

Oga francistony I sight u o

treasuregr8:

Oga no be so o..forgive your humble omoshe.
*directs him to the high table*

Nw you r *tlkin* posting, uhmm were didt we stoped??i hey! Bring me pop corn and vitamilk am following this story still my Baby Mama comes Calling

Nice one sister..

I've been unable to reach уσυ, my 2go account was suspended




Keep on updating us On the story..

Tanks for d dedication ma

Dopeyomi: Nice one sister..

I've been unable to reach уσυ, my 2go account was suspended




Keep on updating us On the story..

Tnx dear..it's been quite a long Time

Thanks for the dedication. And all I'll continue to say is welldone for the good job you've been doing here.
But I have some corrections even though I have a feeling you have it in your next update already.
Permission to spill it out ma?

D9ty7: Thanks for the dedication. And all I'll continue to say is welldone for the good job you've been doing here.
But I have some corrections even though I have a feeling you have it in your next update already.
Permission to spill it out ma?

What else are my here for?, go on.

D9ty7: Thanks for the dedication. And all I'll continue to say is welldone for the good job you've been doing here.
But I have some corrections even though I have a feeling you have it in your next update already.
Permission to spill it out ma?

What else are my here for?. I stand to be corrected

Thanks for giving me the go at pointing out some mistakes.
Note: I may be wrong too.
1. Characters: Lets get to know them? You are writing from your own point of view, with the use of 'I' therefore, I think we should know more about you and your siblings, Chinedu and Sandra.(*am I right?)
2. Description: The window slammed. Are you seated in the bedroom or the living room? What's the condition of the room? Well furnished or colourful? Even though from the way you described the area you lived in, am sure the room was not up to standard.
3. Let your updates be more frequent and lengthy. Also, take note. Little grammatical blunders should also be eradicated.
The last thing I have for you is commendation.
You started the story with a young girl, preparing for an exam. (*am I right?) And you called the story a crime story. Am watching to see how things will play out.

D9ty7: Thanks for giving me the go at pointing out some mistakes.
Note: I may be wrong too.
1. Characters: Lets get to know them? You are writing from your own point of view, with the use of 'I' therefore, I think we should know more about you and your siblings, Chinedu and Sandra.(*am I right?)
2. Description: The window slammed. Are you seated in the bedroom or the living room? What's the condition of the room? Well furnished or colourful? Even though from the way you described the area you lived in, am sure the room was not up to standard.
3. Let your updates be more frequent and lengthy. Also, take note. Little grammatical blunders should also be eradicated.
The last thing I have for you is commendation.
You started the story with a young girl, preparing for an exam. (*am I right?) And you called the story a crime story. Am watching to see how things will play out.

Noted..tnx a lot
But please, an instance for no 4 (grammatical errors)

I believe dat no ordinary writer can write a crime story cos it is a story for the gods! Thumbs up bro

Story for the gods? quite funny.
[quote
author=Fatalveli]I believe dat no ordinary writer can write a crime
story cos it is a story for the gods! Thumbs up bro[/quote]

treasuregr8: #dedicated to D9ty7, snowprince, Timothy, Divepen#

I wonderd why this had not eluded my mind,
Even the noisy environment could not stop it.
Thanks to the window which slammed, atleast I was relieved of the disturbance.
But what could have slammed the window?,
could it have been a human?,
Or rats?.
The window had been patched on several occasions,
Therefore, it was possible that even a paper could move it.
Rats lived like human in the double 'v'.
Whatever slammed the window, I was not scared.
We have been living like this for the past twelve years.
I could remember vividly of then,
When we relocated to the double 'v',
I was so scared of the environment,
And as a Kid, I cried when seeing the angry hungry faces of the inhabitants.
I could notice tears dripped down her checks as I clinged to her bosom in fear.
Mother's love!

Mother had always been a brave woman.
She had the personality of being in command.
She was the only woman in the double 'v' who does not gossip with other women.
Her fellow women respected Her,
And always seeked her advice whenever they were in crossed roads.
many said I behaved like Her,
just that I took the morphological features of father.
mother had always had the air of a queen monarch.
She never feared any man,
But what made her cry, I was yet to fathom.


I gazed aimlessly,
with my mind's eyes meditating on the vissiccitudes of life.
my eyes shifted through the opening on the wall of our one room apartment to the almost blackened houses not up to double stone throw distance.
That was the handiwork of those ruthless rebels who choosed the double 'v' as their bomb blast test environ.
What baffled me most was that there had been so many bomb blast around the neighborhood,
But it never came close to our aboard. Were we not protected by God?,
Were we so precious to him more than others?,
But if really we were,
Why had he not provided money for us to leave the country?
Or still, relocate to a better place in the country?...
Hughh?,
Did I just say a better place?,
Was there a better place in the country that had been polluted with corruption and embezzlement of the national cake?,
A country which the constitution had always been used for the wrapping of indian hemp?,
Perhaps the better place was the home of those first class citizens whom had taken our good faith and given us a bad fate,
Forgetting that blessed are them that give,
than they that takes.

“where Is my food?“,
Sandra had just came back from school,
She was sweating profusely as if she ran a marathon race.
She had this hungry look on her face which could make you give the only food you had,
And even the one you hope to cook the day after.
I knew how she felt because I had felt it in those days I would return from school under the hot afternoon sun,
With hunger causing the worms in my stomach to protest and threat to go on strike.
"have you asked if we at home have taken breakfast, and you are here asking of lunch?”
Chinedu asked rather sarcastically.
He ran in from outside where he was riding his play car tire,
I already sensed he came in to know if I would give sandra manner from heaven.

They have been like co-wives since we were kids

Good morning dear,...........before I point out something,I want to commend ur effort on sitting to write this story,...I tell u not everyone can do what u are doing,more so u being a she,....U are great dear,and I pray more power to ur elbow.


Well the only correction I want to point out is this:-

"Forgetting that blessed are 'them' that gives,than they that takes",............why not "forgetting that blessed are 'they' that gives,than they that takes"


Because it seems 'they' is more suitable for that instance.

My knowledge is limited dear,so I stand to be corrected

You didn't offer me seat,snacks and soft drink o but I no vex

D9ty7: Thanks for giving me the go at pointing out some mistakes.
Note: I may be wrong too.
1. Characters: Lets get to know them? You are writing from your own point of view, with the use of 'I' therefore, I think we should know more about you and your siblings, Chinedu and Sandra.(*am I right?)
2. Description: The window slammed. Are you seated in the bedroom or the living room? What's the condition of the room? Well furnished or colourful? Even though from the way you described the area you lived in, am sure the room was not up to standard.
3. Let your updates be more frequent and lengthy. Also, take note. Little grammatical blunders should also be eradicated.
The last thing I have for you is commendation.
You started the story with a young girl, preparing for an exam. (*am I right?) And you called the story a crime story. Am watching to see how things will play out.

For no 4, frequency and length. These are my reasons:
1. I'm always busy, so I reach u guys at my leisure time or whenever I'm less busy.
2. I type with a phone and not a system.
3. most times my network are bad. I'm sure u know how it feels when after typing the long post, you find out that all u typed have been erased.
But nevertheless, I will try and make it up to u guys, because there is no room for excuses in the journey to success. And remember I'm still a learner.

Fembleez1:


Good morning dear,...........before I point out something,I want to commend ur effort on sitting to write this story,...I tell u not everyone can do what u are doing,more so u being a she,....U are great dear,and I pray more power to ur elbow.


Well the only correction I want to point out is this:-

"Forgetting that blessed are 'them' that gives,than they that takes",............why not "forgetting that blessed are 'they' that gives,than they that takes"


Because it seems 'they' is more suitable for that instance.

My knowledge is limited dear,so I stand to be corrected

You didn't offer me seat,snacks and soft drink o but I no vex

Noted dear..tnx for the corrections.

If I no give u seat..na who I go give?..
*directs him to the high table* chucks! Get him a bottle of coke.

Next update loading...
I pray MTN go add sense to them nonsense.

#Dedicated specially to my big brother, Donpope#


FLASHBACK
21--09--1994

Killer, a thirty-nine years old assassin swapped his normally worn clothing for a black frock coat,
dark ashby vest,
And a black shirt with a white collar.
He change his normal headgear for a wider flat brimmed black hat.
He added an eyepatch over the left eye for an effective allusion to the targeted victim.
The eyepatch slightly clipped into his cheeks.
He wore a bandana,
And tucked his trousers into a set of jackboots.
He opened the weapon box slot,
And collected cadet 55,
A revolver with serial no H-18426
and a colt 1911.
***
Akboze, a 38 years old assassin wore his usuall black suit,
A black T shirt
And a long faded red tie.
He puts on a red neck bandanna,
A mask ;
A bandolier, a piece of belt-like clothing designed to hold extra ammunition,
With a repeater ammo and an AR-15 riffle rounds tied to it.
He tucked in his black trousers into a Pair of boots
and took his favorite weapon,
Baretta 380 ACP, a stone tomahawk dagger and a double barrel pistol.
***
Dillish, a 24 years old blackmailer and assassin,
Also wore like them,
But without a suit and a tie.
She wore a black mask,
A plain black polo,
A pair of tight trousers which viewed her feminine figure eight shape.
She wore a black boot with her trousers tucked in it.
She packed her long Brazilian weavon her in a butterfly like shape,
And pinned it with a black hair band.
Not forgetting to add her favorite weapon,
A dangerous hair pin which looked like a small unusual kantana weapon
used for murder,
during the ancient red redemption assassination to her hair.
that was the usually hideout for the weapon.
This was her favorite weapon.
She used it professionally like it was produced specially for her alone.
She took a pitcairn-putnam pistol from the weapon box slot and added it to the dangerously hair pin.

They all looked like devils from the pit of hell.
Eyes as red as a burning charcoal,
with cocaine-induced ambition for murder.
This was a well prepared mission.
Whoever hired them, got the right culprits
as they were so determined to succeed.
There were sense of bad omen.
A sense that death would rock an eminent personality.
An Imminent threat of misfortune.
A kiss of death.

***********************

Chinedu was the baby of the house
And he had the habit of annoying Sandra.
Sandra on the other hand,
Derived joy in lording it on chinedu,
She knew everyone sides on him whenever they had a quarrel.
She understood,
But she always liked making him cry,
Just to let him know that
though he was the last,
that does not make him the favorite.

To be continued...

Dear readers,
Please bear my short post and inconsistency in posting. I only reach u guys at my convenient time.
Do not hesitate to point out corrections and criticism.
I LUV Y'ALL

Next post loading...

treasuregr8:


Noted dear..tnx for the corrections.

If I no give u seat..na who I go give?..
*directs him to the high table* chucks! Get him a bottle of coke.

Cool... #waiting patiently for the next update



I sight that "akboze" wey you use o..


If the story ωσυℓ∂ be conveted or transformed to a mOvie that means i will starr in it... Madam treasure shey уσυ understand

Dopeyomi: Cool... #waiting patiently for the next update



I sight that "akboze" wey you use o..


If the story ωσυℓ∂ be conveted or transformed to a mOvie that means i will starr in it... Madam treasure shey уσυ understand

Yes sir

I hv a new idea of updating so as not to keep u guys waiting.
I will be updating by 9pm daily. Agreed?.
Please air ur views?

treasuregr8:
I hv a new idea of updating so as not to keep u guys waiting.
I will be updating by 9pm daily. Agreed?.
Please air ur views?

supported

Odi allowed

Nice work.
Wanna see how it turns out


Now following!

[color=#990000][/color]nyc write up babe
i always nu u cn do it..thumps up

“is that how to greet your elders, chinedu?"
I asked retorically,
Trying to divert the discussion to avoid our neighbor's attention.
Though the stomachache in the family of the lizard,
is also in that of the crocodiles,
most of our neighbors were potential gossips.
They so much derived joy in gossiping other's ill,
rather than solving theirs.
Sandra ignored me
and continued yearning over her hunger.
Even though she knew I was indirectly trying to stop them.
“don't you dare me this afternoon, chinedu"
She warned with an accusing finger and a wicked look.
“shut up!, if u are really hungry, why not soak garri...”.
I shouted at her, reducing my voice while pronouncing the last two words.
“..or still, take a gong and go broadcast it at the street, I'm sure you will see people lining up to volunteer foods”.



my family had always been the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Though we lived in abject poverty,
happiness and love was one thing we never lacked.
Laughter was one of the bedrocks of my family.
Father had the habit of making us laugh
and causing happiness whenever there was nothing to eat,
Then chinedu and Sandra would dish it with their co-wives quarrel.
Happiness was like a food to us.
We were just three kids in the family of Mr Kelvin Anderson,
and unike other kids in the double 'v',
we all bore a white name except for that of Chinedu.
He had always asked father why he was the only one who had a native name,
And had always gotten "because you are a special one" as a reply.
The the fact was that chinedu was born when terrorism was at its highest rate,
So he had taken the name which meant 'God protects'.
Something had always bothered father.
I had a felling he was living in fear of what he kept secret,
But whatever it was,
Nothing could forever be hidden under the sun.
They had always looked up to me.
They believed I would be the one
who would save them from that austere plight of life.
Sandra had proved her fastidious hope in me by sacrificing her education for three years
so I could finish mine.
She believed I would get a job Immediately after my education and send her back to school.
I had promised to prove my allegiance.
I would do anything.....anything possible,
to change the status of my family.


************************

Mr yussuf adekunle got down the stairs
to the sitting room.
He adjusted his white buba dress as he
sat on a grey white two-seater sofa
adjacent to the panasonic TC-P60VT60 plazma
television which hung at the top of the wall.
At the right side of the room were latest model of a home theater CD player.
In the room were other varieties of ostentatious goods.
The room looked simple
but enriched with wealth.
One does not need any prophet to tell that the owner of the house was rich.
Mr yussuf adekunle was a retired admiral of the fleet officer
in one of the member states of the north Atlantic treaty organization.
He got the position during the organization's partnership for peace program
during which its troops were deployed abroad for an expeditionary warfare after
the peace program proved abortive.
As the then rare admiral who coordinated
other junior fleets, he was promoted to the rank of admiral of the fleet,
with huge salary running in nine digits,
As a reward for his Impact.
He picked up the TV remote, as he patiently waited for his wife.
He change the TV channel to a popular international media station, ajazera.
“..........was killed in a reckless attack by a terrorist group in the government house of iran..."
"this Iran are never tired of war” he said to himself as he listened to the caster.
"in few hours time, the popular young midshipman of the united states naval academy,
Royco Adebola yussuf, would be receiving
a medal award from the US government
at Dallas paradise, Pittsburgh island by 2:30 pm.
The young midshipman is being commended on his efforts in curbing the high rate
Of illegal bunkering of oil and pipeline vandalism.
Recently, vessels containing stolen crude oil were
Impounded within the country's coastal region..."
The caster broadcasted.
He smiled and glanced at the large picture frame of his son
which stood elegantly against the wall.
That was the only picture in the room.
He choosed to place it there
so as to take glimpse of his pride at intervals.
That was picture of his son in a navy uniform,
with the rank insignia on it.
It reminded him of his youth age in office.
When war and treasure hunts were orders of the day.
When the blood of betrayal flows in human veins.
"gone are those days"
He murmured with a soft smile on his lips.
The memories of the old flowed into his mind.
That was the sign of old age.
When one travels through the lane of one's past,
With either regret or pride.
He's was pride.
He was proud of his past achievements.
He looked at the picture once more,
That was his pride.
His mirror.
To him, there were no differences between him and his son.
Royco was the sheep off the old block.
and now he has continued with the work of his father.
But this time, it was to right his father's wrong.
He glanced at the wristwatch,
"dammit! How time flies"
He could not Imagine why his wife kept him waiting.
"honey hurry up, we are already late”
”just a minute dear”.
His wife answered from upstairs.
”women are always women, it takes them two hours just to dress up, as if they are dressing heaven and earth"
He soliloquyed.
In few minutes time, they left for the airport.