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Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? - Romance (18) - Nairaland

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 6:05pm On Oct 09, 2014
OmoEziokwu:

Discerning minds know that dating-wise, many Western men are wimps and desperate for companionship. That is one of the results of the media assault and crazy laws that have been enacted over time that has given rise to phenomenons like homosexuality and metrosexuality.


The "wimps" have achieved what you are still dreaming of in your wildest dreams.
And they don't desperately try to live in your country. They are in no way desperate.

I hope you remember how the "wimps" played you during the world championship. grin

Western trends are enabling selfish choices, yet their women are not satisfied, and the smart men amongst them are going abroad where women and gender roles are still quite traditional to seek females. Tripartite marriages (between men, the state and women) which is what goes on here has left many people burned and even the women who claim alimonies still end up dissatisfied.

Are you trying to say than man-woman relationships in the West are anything the rest of the world is remotely envious of? I wonder why you think women playing their own roles and staying feminine for the men to cherish them is a bad thing. Do you really think feminism leads anywhere?
My advice to you is, when next you move around (your normal sex-ual market places, you know what I'm talking about), change the things you use to rate men when selecting them. You women do that all the time, it's an unconscious thing (deny it if you wish). There are intelligent men everywhere, it's just that most of you females (mostly you black Nigerian/British ones and the likes) have been so conditioned by bullcrap (due to wrong influences/choices over the years) that you cannot see the right men. Later you start complaining about how good men are hard to find or you go on to think that all men are foolish like that GIF you put up earlier. Be wise. We see you women, and we know you more than you know yourselves because most of you are just drifting by unconsciously in utter stupidity while men like us just sit back and watch. We know what we want, and we'll make our picks when we finally decide to.

Think.

Having said that, there is nothing more to say to you.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 6:07pm On Oct 09, 2014
Sagamite:


I support only valid arguments and do not support arguments that do not make sense (especially ones that attack kids) hence why I was attacking people like this:

https://www.nairaland.com/1929092/marry-someone-child/7#26798704

https://www.nairaland.com/1929092/marry-someone-child/13#26921529

I attacked maternal because that was his first post I saw on my re-entry into the thread. I was very pissed he could support some useless woman saying she would only allow her grand-kids in the house and not the step-grand-kids.

I was so pissed I went back to read more of his post because I got my Scythe out to attack him, only to find that majority of the things he said were facts but emotional arguments lead him sometimes to stray and say things out of line. Hence why I backed out from the attack.

That is not the first time I back out of an attack on NL. When Igbo people attack Hausa people on NL, I don't criticise them that much despite my rage at tribalism because I understand that many of their relatives have been historically randomly killed in the North at the slightest hint of "you have insulted my religion".

Maternal made some extremely valid arguments so I have a bit of understanding for his lack of respect or concerns that leads him astray.

The women too on this thread were not given valid arguments, hence why I corrected them with the disadvantages. Just the same balanced way I corrected this guy about his disadvantages:

https://www.nairaland.com/1921974/6-reasons-bald-men-better/2#26681785

I am an objective God!


I have said it several times that if I am walking on the streets of London and see a black women struggling with a pram to multi-task and load shopping in the booth of her car, I would walk past. If she is white, I would ask, "Can I help"?

I don't like black women's attitudes, and except I know them personally, I tend not have too much concerns because of their inconsiderate reputation.



A logical conclusion to you, definitely not to me.

The logic breaks down if anyone knows me and my mentality.

Sagamite does not do RELIGION, SUPERSTITION or UNSUBSTANTIATED ATTRIBUTION.

So Sagamite can NEVER, EVER, .......EVER, EVER, EVER believe in Karma.

As I said, someone was making invalid points that was "real man" mugu training about how karma catches people that have done wrong. And I asked a rhetoric question that, according to her logic, maybe it is Karma that is catching black women for their own earlier stinking personalities.

So Sagamite asking a rhetoric question using Karma as "might", can never be logically concluded as meaning Sagamite believes in Karma.

Peace. wink
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 6:08pm On Oct 09, 2014
carefreewannabe:


Go back to your bush, please.

I apologize. Everything you said is correct. Fellas I suggest you marry single mothers. Move them inside your house and take care of another grown man's responsibility. House and feed his child. After all single mothers are the strongest and smartest of all women in the world. Who needs a smart, single, and fertile woman with no baggage.

I have said it now free me.

3 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 6:14pm On Oct 09, 2014
maternal:


I apologize. Everything you said is correct. Fellas I suggest you marry single mothers. Move them inside your house and take care of another grown man's responsibility. House and feed his child. After all single mothers are the strongest and smartest of all women in the world. Who needs a smart, single, and fertile woman with no baggage.

I have said it now free me.

Nobody asked you to date single mothers.
My problem with you is the disrespect you proudly display that offends single mothers, their kids and men who don't mind dating single mothers.

You are free now. Go and sin no more. grin
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 6:34pm On Oct 09, 2014
carefreewannabe:


Nobody asked you to date single mothers.
My problem with you is the disrespect you proudly display that offends single mothers, their kids and men who don't mind dating single mothers.

You are free now. Go and sin no more. grin

Being shocked I wouldn't date a single mother, saying bad karma will happen to me if I don't, that my sister or future daughters would be somehow cursed can be viewed as disrespect as well. But a clearly desparate single mother campaigning for her cause said it so it can't be disrespectful. Either way I respect freedom of speech and realize someone's opinion can differ from mine and its ok. This is something you need to learn and respect. You like to see only what you want to see.

2 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 6:45pm On Oct 09, 2014
maternal:


Being shocked I wouldn't date a single mother, saying bad karma will happen to me if I don't, that my sister or future daughters would be somehow cursed can be viewed as disrespect as well. But a clearly desparate single mother campaigning for her cause said it so it can't be disrespectful. Either way I respect freedom of speech and realize someone's opinion can differ from mine and its ok. This is something you need to learn and respect. You like to see only what you want to see.

No, you don't. And this is another example.


maternal:
If my woman cheated I'd rather die a honorable death than take her back. One of my friend his now wife cheated on him. She kissed another man. He took her back and eventually married her. Nobody respects him in our group of friends anymore. I just couldn't.

As for the double standard. This is a result of supply and demand. A good amount of nigerian woman wouldn't leave a relationship where her partner is cheated or has cheated. She fears being looked down in society for be a single mother (if they had kids), afraid she may never find another partner and age being lonely, biological clock may be thicking so she'll accept it just to have children before her eggs rot, etc. Nothing more useless than a unmarried and childless women. Either way naija women who put up with a cheating partner is solely due to her selfish reasons. She's not holy pass her cheating husband.

https://www.nairaland.com/newpost?post=26981539&topic=1937785


And I can respect your choice not to date a singe mother but not how you refer to single mothers (ashewos) and to the men who have no problem dating them (frustrated/scraps).
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 8:41pm On Oct 09, 2014
Sagamite:




A more sensible way of asking the question is:

"Were you enlightened because some girls showed you that they can be mean and inconsiderate when you have less finances?"

I don't think your way is more or less sensibly put, but it's sad if that is true. Maybe that's why he's so bitter, but he found himself a good woman so he should keep that bitterness in the pass.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by chic2pimp(m): 9:50pm On Oct 09, 2014
skyladon22:


God bless you for this part

Most single moms are more decent and responsible than some single girls. cool

This i am 100% sure of


Well that depends on your definition of the term "Responsible"?

If your definition of being Decent and Responsible means being able to keep your legs closed then as someone rightly said you haven't been to certain areas in the States and the UK
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by skyladon22(f): 9:57pm On Oct 09, 2014
chic2pimp:


Well that depends on your definition of the term "Responsible"?

If your definition of being Decent and Responsible means being able to keep your legs closed then as someone rightly said you haven't been to certain areas in the States and the UK

I have not been to those parts and yes I mean keeping your legs closed.

Most single mothers living that kind of lifestyles are not setting their priorities right or don't even know what they are.

In this part of the world, most single mothers are responsible and hardworking
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by chic2pimp(m): 10:05pm On Oct 09, 2014
skyladon22:


I have not been to those parts and yes I mean keeping your legs closed.

Most single mothers living that kind of lifestyles are not setting their priorities right or don't even know what they are.

In this part of the world, most single mothers are responsible and hardworking

What part of the world are we talking about here?
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by skyladon22(f): 10:06pm On Oct 09, 2014
chic2pimp:

What part of the world are we talking about here?

Lagos, Nigeria grin cool
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by chic2pimp(m): 10:18pm On Oct 09, 2014
skyladon22:




Lagos, Nigeria grin cool

How about those ones i dey see for Allen Avenue and surulere. Dem responsible so? shocked shocked shocked embarassed
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by skyladon22(f): 10:21pm On Oct 09, 2014
chic2pimp:


How about those ones i dey see for Allen Avenue and surulere. Dem responsible so? shocked shocked shocked embarassed

Do you patronise them? Or how do you know they single moms smiley
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by chic2pimp(m): 10:42pm On Oct 09, 2014
skyladon22:


Do you patronise them? Or how do you know they single moms smiley

Nigerians are known for not being able to keep their mouths shut so I need not even ask before the life history of one of those girls are right at my fingertips.

I fit tell you your own history sef tongue
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by maternal: 10:46pm On Oct 09, 2014
khiaa:


I don't think your way is more or less sensibly put, but it's sad if that is true. Maybe that's why he's so bitter, but he found himself a good woman so he should keep that bitterness in the pass.



A man speaks the truth, though it's not in the favor of single mothers = bitter.

A single woman with a child wishes evil upon a man and his female relatives and future daughters who refuse to date them = a rational human being who has been victimed.

A single man who would date single mothers bashes other single men who would never = a real man.

A single man who would never date a single mother but bashes guys who would = a evil person.

Your bias and hypocracy is funny sweety.

4 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 11:19pm On Oct 09, 2014
maternal:


A man speaks the truth, though it's not in the favor of single mothers = bitter.

A single woman with a child wishes evil upon a man and his female relatives and future daughters who refuse to date them = a rational human being who has been victimed.

A single man who would date single mothers bashes other single men who would never = a real man.

A single man who would never date a single mother but bashes guys who would = a evil person.

Your bias and hypocracy is funny sweety.


There is nothing hypocritical in what I said. And where did I bash anyone? My point is, if you don't want to date a single mom, fine you have that choice but don't bash and belittle them like you clearly did, just because you find them undesirable doesn't me the next man won't.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by fredoooooo: 6:02am On Oct 10, 2014
chic2pimp:


How about those ones i dey see for Allen Avenue and surulere. Dem responsible so? shocked shocked shocked embarassed

Allen and surulere is that the name of your church ? grin

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by skyladon22(f): 7:17am On Oct 10, 2014
chic2pimp:


Nigerians are known for not being able to keep their mouths shut so I need not even ask before the life history of one of those girls are right at my fingertips.

I fit tell you your own history sef tongue

What you do want to tell me about my history that's a big issue

As long as I havent been told I stayed on Allen or Surulere
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 7:23am On Oct 10, 2014
skyladon22:


Mr, please try and speak for yourself. stop hiding under any posts wink
in what way magrin
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by skyladon22(f): 7:46am On Oct 10, 2014
DailyNews:
in what way magrin


Can you or can you not smiley
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 8:13am On Oct 10, 2014
maternal:



A single woman with a child wishes evil upon a man and his female relatives and future daughters who refuse to date them = a rational human being who has been victimed.

https://www.nairaland.com/1929092/marry-someone-child/13#26902501.
Please kindly highlight where I wished evil upon people's female relatives. I clearly stated I do not wish such upon anyone. Pls get your facts right.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 8:33am On Oct 10, 2014
I have no problem with men who don't want to date/marry single mothers. The people I have issues with are men who would dissuade other men from marrying/dating single mothers. I also have a problem with men referring at all single mothers as w.ho,rez. There are w.ho,rez who are single mothers and there are gazillions who are not mothers. Don't generalize and put everyone into the same basket. It's like a woman saying all men are wicked: that's a stupid generalization. Honestly, you don't have to like single mothers but don't make derogatory statements about single mothers. And if a man you know likes a single mother, don't immediately speak ill of her before him. Allow him make his own findings. That's all. Cheers.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 8:45am On Oct 10, 2014
khiaa:


I don't think your way is more or less sensibly put, but it's sad if that is true. Maybe that's why he's so bitter, but he found himself a good woman so he should keep that bitterness in the pass.

You could probably have said:

"Maybe that's why he's likes his power now, and he is happy to use the power as he wishes since it is his turn to have no consequences if he is inconsiderate and he can have plenty women now".

By the way desirable good women are hard to come by.

Women tend to be good when the looks goes or when they have something to benefit:

https://www.nairaland.com/1433735/ladies-attitude-when-breaking-up/1#18072016

Yours truly,

Sagamite (BSc, PgDip, MA, PhD, D.Phil)

Professor of Womantology
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 9:00am On Oct 10, 2014
skyladon22:


Do you patronise them? Or how do you know they single moms smiley

How is patronising them much different from patronising a typical Nigerian girl? undecided

It might even work out far less costly and the return is guaranteed.

A friend just stayed at my place in London and said anytime he hooks up with a Nigerian girl on date or just friends, apart from them thinking and having the air that it is a birthright for the guy to pay for all the refreshments they have, they tend to always order the top of the list beverages.

The guy paying is buying a bottle of Gulder for N500, and the girl is ordering champagne (Moet Brut Imperial) at maybe N7,000.

He said he asked one one day that "Is that how you drink champagne every day?"

She said some rubbish while flashing her 32.

And he asked her "So when you go out and pay for yourself, you always order top-range champagne?"

Of course the answer was "No".

He is not short of money, but it is the principles. Even the guys he hangs with and usually buys rounds for, if they are buying for him on another day, he does not order top of the range things or anything so far different in price from what the person paying is having.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by skyladon22(f): 9:20am On Oct 10, 2014
Sagamite:


How is patronising them much different from patronising a typical Nigerian girl? undecided

It might even work out far less costly and the return is guaranteed.

A friend just stayed at my place in London and said anytime he hooks up with a Nigerian girl on date or just friends, apart from them thinking and having the air that it is a birthright for the guy to pay for all the refreshments they have, they tend to always order the top of the list beverages.

The guy paying is buying a bottle of Gulder for N500, and the girl is ordering champagne (Moet Brut Imperial) at maybe N7,000.

He said he asked one one day that "Is that how you drink champagne every day?"

She said some rubbish while flashing her 32.

And he asked her "So when you go out and pay for yourself, you always order top-range champagne?"

Of course the answer was "No".

He is not short of money, but it is the principles. Even the guys he hangs with and usually buys rounds for, if they are buying for him on another day, he does not order top of the range things or anything so far different in price from what they are having.

I dont always blame you guys but the ladies for being so stup1d with their life style atimes
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 6:36pm On Oct 10, 2014
skyladon22:



Can you or can you not smiley
I cantn'tsgrin
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 10:34pm On Oct 10, 2014
[quote author=Sagamite post=27017553

You could probably have said:

"Maybe that's why he's likes his power now, and he is happy to use the power as he wishes since it is his turn to have no consequences if he is inconsiderate and he can have plenty women now".

By the way desirable good women are hard to come by.

Women tend to be good when the looks goes or when they have something to benefit:

https://www.nairaland.com/1433735/ladies-attitude-when-breaking-up/1#18072016

Yours truly,

Sagamite (BSc, PgDip, MA, PhD, D.Phil)

Professor of Womantology
[/quote]





lol... I said it the way I wanted to say it.

There are good women and men out there but you have to be a good person to deserve one.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Kash007(m): 9:10am On Oct 11, 2014
CharmO1:
I have no problem with men who don't want to date/marry single mothers. The people I have issues with are men who would dissuade other men from marrying/dating single mothers. I also have a problem with men referring at all single mothers as w.ho,rez. There are w.ho,rez who are single mothers and there are gazillions who are not mothers. Don't generalize and put everyone into the same basket. It's like a woman saying all men are wicked: that's a stupid generalization. Honestly, you don't have to like single mothers but don't make derogatory statements about single mothers. And if a man you know likes a single mother, don't immediately speak ill of her before him. Allow him make his own findings. That's all. Cheers.
Unfortunately, most people are bitter and judge others based on their limited knowledge. Also fueling this perception is our kind of society...no wonder most girls wud rather have series of abortions or dump the child in a canal than be tagged by hypocrates for life. I am glad you are not allowing such notions limit you. I like an intelligent and confident woman, and clearly you have both in abundance. If you werent so faraway, I would have come submit my CV *wink*wink*
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nayah(f): 9:31am On Oct 11, 2014
I used to tell that you don't know where God will guide you so why not even though the transition has to be made in a smart way because this is a sensitive context
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:36am On Oct 11, 2014
Kash007:
Unfortunately, most people are bitter and judge others based on their limited knowledge. Also fueling this perception is our kind of society...no wonder most girls wud rather have series of abortions or dump the child in a canal than be tagged by hypocrates for life. I am glad you are not allowing such notions limit you. I like an intelligent and confident woman, and clearly you have both in abundance. If you werent so faraway, I would have come submit my CV *wink*wink*
exactly. Society stereotypes people and that's why the Nigerian society in particular will never think or live outside the box. Awwww. Thanks for the compliment sir. :-)
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Sagamite(m): 1:07pm On Oct 11, 2014
khiaa:
lol... I said it the way I wanted to say it.

There are good women and men out there but you have to be a good person to deserve one.

I am not such a poor proposition to just be with a woman because she is "good".

Especially considering the alternative options I have as a desirable man.

I want a good looking and good personality woman, not just a good women.

Good men end up with ugly good girls or the decaying remnants bad men leave them because they are "real men".

Good girls that are good looking normally go for the bad boys because they see it as an exciting project to change him.

So you are very wrong about having to be a good person to deserve them. It does not work like that.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Kemmiiee: 3:27pm On Oct 11, 2014
The way most Nigerians see/treat single mums is shocking .. Like having a child is a curse or a deadly disease .. Single mums would sure avoid the mistakes if the hands of time could be turned back but since that's impossible, they have to carry their cross and accept the consequences (especially being Nigerians ..

The single lady you think is perfect for you aborted her child/children and has prolly slept with more men than the single mum who you call a LovePeddler .. Everyone has their preferences, but the fact that you won't date or marry a single mum doesn't mean you should make them feel less-human ..

And young ladies should learn from this; think hard before having unprotected sex with a guy you're not married too.. You might get pregnant when you don't want to .. And the guy will deny, flee and will join the people insulting you.. He'll even rather marry a woman with no child #BeWise

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