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Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by pickabeau1: 7:46pm On Oct 02, 2014
freecocoa: Who makes the first move?(not encouraging anybody btw), most times the girls don't even know the men are married.

Some of these single girls just want money from these men so it means nothing to them, the man who swore to stick to his wife is the cheat here, therefore the men should be the ones answering questions.


Most times d girls don't know what?
Story for d gods....


Believe that and believe anything

1 Like

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 8:01pm On Oct 02, 2014
The problem is not with the single people but the married ones. A married person going after a single person knowing very well he/she has a spouse is to blame here.
The single person has no responsibility to protect your home or marriage for you.
So marriages are not breaking up because single people are going out with married ones.
They are breaking up because married ones aren't rspecting their marriages.

27 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by SAMBARRY: 8:09pm On Oct 02, 2014
Gbam. You have nailed it. Better girl.oya take am

cococandy: The problem is not with the single people but the married ones. A married person going after a single person knowing very well he/she has a spouse is to blame here.
The single person has no responsibility to protect your home or marriage for you.
So marriages are not breaking up because single people are going out with married ones.
They are breaking up because married ones aren't rspecting their marriages.

3 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by coogar: 8:15pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy: The problem is not with the single people but the married ones. A married person going after a single person knowing very well he/she has a spouse is to blame here.
The single person has no responsibility to protect your home or marriage for you.
So marriages are not breaking up because single people are going out with married ones.
They are breaking up because married ones aren't rspecting their marriages.

so a single person has no common sense to resist such offers? a single person has no common sense that one day she would be married & she wouldn't want to experience such agony?

5 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 8:34pm On Oct 02, 2014
pickabeau1:


Most times d girls don't know what?
Story for d gods....


Believe that and believe anything
Story time...

When I was in school there was this man I met at friend's wedding. Mr B.
He started asking me out seriously and trying his best to drive down from ph to owerri to come and pay me surprise visits at school.

Many of my hostel mates then knew him because he would come without informing me and if I wasn't around,he would wait outside the gate until I come back. Sometimes he would go if I came back late and then my friends would tell me ''that man been come again o. Ha''

One day he opened up and told me his pastor saw my picture on his phone and told him I was the one God revealed to him as his (Mr B's) wife. grin
Kept putting pressure on me to give him my parents' contact so that he'll make his 'noble' intentions known to them.
All that 'apparent' seriousness was to make me feel his a good guy with good intentions and make relax around him enough to open my legs.

As an asidesadI've even heard of guys going as far as introductory marriage rights to get into the pants of a very strict principled lady and disappear once their mission is accomplished. So don't think every single girl dating a married man knows he's married)

Continues..

Until one evening I received a message 'leave my husband alone. Go and find your own. Husband snatcher # **unprintable names**'

I was surprised no be small. So I called the number and confirmed truly that that was his wife. Mr B would travel all the way from ph to owerri to woo me and form Mr romantic while denying his wife at home.

The sad thing was that after trying to convince madam B that I didn't have anything to do with her husband like she thought and didn't even know he was married,she still saw me as the enemy while ignoring the fact that the onus of protecting their marriage rested on both of them and not me the single girl outside.

Well I tried to make her see that I was on her side but she was blinded by stupidity.

Kept saying she knew how her husband uses ladies and dumps them that it would soon be by turn to be dumped and her loving husband would soon go back to her.
That I should not think I've won as I'll be dumped like a piece of rag and he'll be with her the madam(main chick grin)
................................................................

That's the mindset some women have when their husbands cheat on them. It's always the fault of the girl outside. She seduced him. She charmed him. She did this or did that. Forgetting that the man made the first move of betraying his marriage by looking outside to start with. A man who's determined to cheat will cheat. Even if all the single girls outide reject his advances he'll do it with a married woman. The cheater is the only constant in that equation. He's the one that needs to be changed if a different result is desired.

I'm not saying this because I think women don't cheat. I'm saying it because it is women who are more unrealistic when cheated on.
That's what I like about men sha. Cheat on him and he sees the problem which is you.
But cheat on some women and they'll leave their problem(the man) and face the girl outside.

64 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 8:41pm On Oct 02, 2014
coogar:

so a single person has no common sense to resist such offers? a single person has no common sense that one day she would be married & she wouldn't want to experience such agony?
I am mr obi. I want to cheat on my wife.
Single girl nkechi refuses my advance
I go to single girls ada,lori,nikky etc etc and all refuse.
I find refuge in mrs solomon.
Bottom line is I am the married person here.
So if I want my marriage to be protected,I'm the one responsible for that.

The world doesn't owe me the duty to protect my marriage. I owe my partner that duty. So thinking my marriage failed because single girls didn't say no to me would be very sstupid of me.

What about the virgins who get cheated on by their husbands? Who did they offend and who's karma is haunting them?

Even as I'm married I get offers from men outside. Do you think if I cheat I'll be foolish enough to try say I cheated because the guy kept on wooing me or didn't say no to my advance?

Really it's funny for anyone to try blame single people for married ones who won't remember their vows when they want to cheat.

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 8:42pm On Oct 02, 2014
I'm watching my weight angry
Give me vegetable salad
SAMBARRY: Gbam. You have nailed it. Better girl.oya take am

2 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by jaybee3(m): 8:50pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy:
I am mr obi. I want to cheat on my wife.
Single girl nkechi refuses my advance
I go to single girls ada,lori,nikky etc etc and all refuse.
I find refuge in mrs solomon.
Bottom line is I am the married person here.
So if I want my marriage to be protected,I'm the one responsible for that.

The world doesn't owe me the duty to protect my marriage. I owe my partner that duty. So thinking my marriage failed because single girls didn't say no to me would be very sstupid of me.

What about the virgins who get cheated on by their husbands? Who did they offend and who's karma is haunting them?

Even as I'm married I get offers from men outside. Do you think if I cheat I'll be foolish enough to try say I cheated because the guy kept on wooing me or didn't say no to my advance?

Really it's funny for anyone to try blame single people for married ones who won't remember their vows when they want to cheat.

Phew
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by coogar: 8:51pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy:
I am mr obi. I want to cheat on my wife.
Single girl nkechi refuses my advance
I go to single girls ada,lori,nikky etc etc and all refuse.
I find refuge in mrs solomon.
Bottom line is I am the married person here.
So if I want my marriage to be protected,I'm the one responsible for that.

nah.....
you are getting the dynamics wrong. a woman should share the blame if her hubby cheats on her.


The world doesn't owe me the duty to protect my marriage. I owe my partner that duty. So thinking my marriage failed because single girls didn't say no to me would be very sstupid of me.

i don't disagree with the above if the wife at home is doing her duties. it is human nature to seek out comfort when they are not receiving what they need at home.


What about the virgins who get cheated on by their husbands? Who did they offend and who's karma is haunting them?

virgins got cheated on by her husband? she deserves it - she has been starving her hubby.

see....when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs.


Even as I'm married I get offers from men outside. Do you think if I cheat I'll be foolish enough to try say I cheated because the guy kept on wooing me or didn't say no to my advance?

that's a different thing altogether - you are a woman. the decision to sleep around ultimately lies with you & you only. even if a man wants to cheat, there's no guarantee he would succeed cos he still needs the approval of the woman he wants to cheat with.

you said so yourself here.....

That's what I like about men sha. Cheat on him and he sees the problem which is you.
But cheat on some women and they'll leave their problem(the man) and face the girl outside.

there's a reason both genders feel the woman is the key to any marital infidelity. she's the one that holds the key whether sėx would happen or not. a man has no such powers unless in the case of räpe - which is a criminal offence.


Really it's funny for anyone to try blame single people for married ones who won't remember their vows when they want to cheat.

if the single person here is a woman, she carries the blame 100%.

10 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 8:57pm On Oct 02, 2014
I don talk my own.


In summary:

If a man cheats he's looking for something his wife doesn't give him at home.

If the wife cheats. Erm why should she go look for something her husband doesn't give her? Why didn't she just endure it for better for worse.

If the single person is a girl,she's the blame for seducing the man.
If the single person is a man he has no blame. The woman who slept with him is to blame.

Your opinion is duly noted cheesy.
coogar:

nah.....
you are getting the dynamics wrong. a woman should share the blame if her hubby cheats on her.



i don't disagree with the above if the wife at home is doing her duties. it is human nature to seek out comfort when they are not receiving what they need at home.



virgins got cheated on by her husband? she deserves it - she has been starving her hubby.

see....when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs.



that's a different thing altogether - you are a woman. the decision to sleep around ultimately lies with you & you only. even if a man wants to cheat, there's no guarantee he would succeed cos he still needs the approval of the woman he wants to cheat with.

you said so yourself here.....


there's a reason both genders feel the woman is the key to any marital infidelity. she's the one that holds the key whether sėx would happen or not. a man has no such powers unless in the case of räpe - which is a criminal offence.



if the single person here is a woman, she carries the blame 100%.

18 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by omanifrank(m): 9:02pm On Oct 02, 2014
hmm
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by coolvitus(m): 9:03pm On Oct 02, 2014
Ask them now

1 Like

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by SAMBARRY: 9:04pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy: I'm watching my weight angry
Give me vegetable salad
chaiiii coco this ya tory sweet no be small. I enjoy am grin


but question for you

1.why did you bother explaining or trying to convince her that nothing was going on between you and him

2.throughout the wooing process did you collect money, I phone or clothes from him


don't lie o God is washin you wink





Ahen as for the vegetable you asked for. It's here na cheesy

1 Like

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by Truckpusher(m): 9:06pm On Oct 02, 2014
Interesting topic.
*spreads mat*
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by coogar: 9:07pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy: I don talk my own.

In summary:

If a man cheats he's looking for something his wife doesn't give him at home.

If the wife cheats. Erm why should she go look for something her husband doesn't give her? Why didn't she just endure it for better for worse.

If the single person is a girl,she's the blame for seducing the man.
If the single person is a man he has no blame. The woman who slept with him is to blame.

Your opinion is duly noted cheesy.

you are correct!
who said yes gets the blame. however, if he’s a sociopath or narcissistic, all bets are off.....for men like that, the woman can be the best person in the world, and he’s still going to be a complete loser.....

but most men aren’t like that, the average husband longs for one thing, and that’s to be special to his woman. give the average man plenty of love & respect & he will never bite the fingers that feed him.

6 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by Gidihub: 9:07pm On Oct 02, 2014
[size=13pt][url=gidihub..com/2014/10/where-are-all-good-men-hiding-at.html]Where Are All The Good Men Hiding At? ( A Must Read For Every Woman) [/url][/size]
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by damiso(f): 9:07pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy:
Story time...
When I was in school there was this man I met at friend's wedding. Mr B.
He started asking me out seriously and trying his best to drive down from ph to owerri to come and pay me surprise visits at school.
Many of my hostel mates then knew him because he would come without informing me and if I wasn't around,he would wait outside the gate until I come back. Sometimes he would go if I came back late and then my friends would tell me ''that man been come again o. Ha''
One day he opened up and told me his pastor saw my picture on his phone and told him I was the one God revealed to him as his (Mr B's) wife. grin
Kept putting pressure on me to give him my parents' contact so that he'll make his 'noble' intentions known to them.
All that 'apparent' seriousness was to make me feel his a good guy with good intentions and make relax around him enough to open my legs.
As an asidesadI've even heard of guys going as far as introductory marriage rights to get into the pants of a very strict principled lady and disappear once their mission is accomplished. So don't think every single girl dating a married man knows he's married)
Continues..
Until one evening I received a message 'leave my husband alone. Go and find your own. Husband snatcher # **unprintable names**'
I was surprised no be small. So I called the number and confirmed truly that that was his wife. Mr B would travel all the way from ph to owerri to woo me and form Mr romantic while denying his wife at home.
The sad thing was that after trying to convince madam B that I didn't have anything to do with her husband like she thought and didn't even know he was married,she still saw me as the enemy while ignoring the fact that the onus of protecting their marriage rested on both of them and not me the single girl outside.
Well I tried to make her see that I was on her side but she was blinded by stupidity.
Kept saying she knew how her husband uses ladies and dumps them that it would soon be by turn to be dumped and her loving husband would soon go back to her.
That I should not think I've won as I'll be dumped like a piece of rag and he'll be with her the madam(main chick grin)
................................................................
That's the mindset some women have when their husbands cheat on them. It's always the fault of the girl outside. She seduced him. She charmed him. She did this or did that. Forgetting that the man made the first move of betraying his marriage by looking outside to start with. A man who's determined to cheat will cheat. Even if all the single girls outide reject his advances he'll do it with a married woman. The cheater is the only constant in that equation. He's the one that needs to be changed if a different result is desired.
I'm not saying this because I think women don't cheat. I'm saying it because it is women who are more unrealistic when cheated on.
That's what I like about men sha. Cheat on him and he sees the problem which is you.
But cheat on some women and they'll leave their problem(the man) and face the girl outside.

That 'side chick' 'main chick' rubbish irritated the heck out of me even as a young impressionable teenager.I too don't get why the other woman is the person woman tend to fight and not the man who is their husband i don't get it.I hardly hear men calling the other man to 'warn' or threaten them when their wives cheat. Even if they call him its to tell him you can have her cheesy

That said I also agree that single people could have principles and say i dont date married people.My mum said when she was in university it was a taboo to date married men people that did it were doing it on the down low and could not even tell people they had a sugar daddy. Fast forward to my days it was a thing of pride (to some sha) to date aristos and be seen as a 'big girl'.I even knew someone who used to say 'every girl needs an aristo' cheesy SMH.Funny enough she had a boyfriend who she is now happily married to and based on the fact that the boy is good (proper nerd and still is)I don't think any karma anything has caught up with her.. Life sha.

10 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by arvinsloane(m): 9:08pm On Oct 02, 2014
grin The poster below me is as guilty as sin!

1 Like

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by micolaj: 9:08pm On Oct 02, 2014
Single vs Married Debate on Nairaland since 2005
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by Nobody: 9:08pm On Oct 02, 2014
I hate reading long posts angry....its best i stay off this thread
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by whitecat1: 9:10pm On Oct 02, 2014
It's poverty and low self esteem on the part of single women who date married men.

Why would any woman wants to be a second best and part time lover in this day and age? Some of our parents did and it was safe for them but, not anymore! How would I be able to turn him over, season and feast when I know he's been somewhere else?
zboyd: Why do some single men/women think it's acceptable to have affairs with married people?

What's worse, some of these shameless ones brag about it and tell all who'll listen how they 'bagged' the married person, how good they are at bedmatics, how many gifts, money, etc. they've received, with the cheated on spouse none the wiser.

Why can't single people 'just say no' to married people?

With all the other single people running around, why have an affair with someone you KNOW is married - many times with children?

As for adulterous married people, why did you get married, if you didn't think you could commit to one person, 'til death do you part'?

Why do you think it's acceptable to cheat on your spouse?

2 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 9:10pm On Oct 02, 2014
This stew go sweet well well.

Well I was quite young then. I thought she would understand. I never experience nigerian women in their full glory at that time. I for just ignore the first message sef.

I didn't collect stuff from him because I hadn't even said yes to date him. Collecting would have been agreement na. I just found out I didn't like him enough to date him after the first few meetings.

Who answers Boniface angry angry embarassed in this time and age?the name was a turn off in itself.
SAMBARRY: chaiiii coco this ya tory sweet no be small. I enjoy am grin


but question for you

1.why did you bother explaining or trying to convince her that nothing was going on between you and him

2.throughout the wooing process did you collect money, I phone or clothes from him


don't lie o God is washin you wink





Ahen as for the vegetable you asked for. It's here na cheesy



7 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by Nobody: 9:11pm On Oct 02, 2014
Too many hypocrites here. Cococandy thumbs up gf, the topic clearly stated single pips includes man nd woman, yet wat we r seeing is gal sleeps with married man, wateva happened to boys or guys sleeping with married women. MtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Everything bad sseem to be caused by women.
*unfollows thread*

20 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by victorazy(m): 9:13pm On Oct 02, 2014
OP mean Yoruba an Igbo girls
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by Kelklein(m): 9:13pm On Oct 02, 2014

1 Like

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by soonest(f): 9:14pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy: I don talk my own.


In summary:

If a man cheats he's looking for something his wife doesn't give him at home.

If the wife cheats. Erm why should she go look for something her husband doesn't give her? Why didn't she just endure it for better for worse.

If the single person is a girl,she's the blame for seducing the man.
If the single person is a man he has no blame. The woman who slept with him is to blame.

Your opinion is duly noted cheesy.
My sister e no get wetin person no go hear for NL.

5 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by anselm791(m): 9:14pm On Oct 02, 2014
As if you don't know that money is involved.
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by jaybee3(m): 9:15pm On Oct 02, 2014
cococandy: This stew go sweet well well.

Well I was quite young then. I thought she would understand. I never experience nigerian women in their full glory at that time. I for just ignore the first message sef.

I didn't collect stuff him because I hadn't even said yes to date him. Collecting would have been agreement na. I just didn't found out I didn't like him enough to date him after the first few meetings.

Who answers Boniface angry angry embarassed in this time and age?the name was a turn off in itself.
Abeg Collect Z phone the next he comes knocking grin grin grin
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by cococandy(f): 9:15pm On Oct 02, 2014
Me too. I seriously agree that single people should have principles and self respect enough not to be someone elses side kick.

I just didn't want to go down that lane so that I don't give the impression that the girls tempting a man outside or the guys wooing a married a woman with goodies are to blame for the couples' failed marriage.

You know how nairalanders can misunderstand things cheesy
damiso:

That 'side chick' 'main chick' rubbish irritated the heck out of me even as a young impressionable teenager.I too don't get why the other woman is the person woman tend to fight and not the man who is their husband i don't get it.I hardly hear men calling the other man to 'warn' or threaten them when their wives cheat. Even if they call him its to tell him you can have her cheesy

That said I also agree that single people could have principles and say i dont date married people.My mum said when she was in university it was a taboo to date married men people that did it were doing it on the down low and could not even tell people they had a sugar daddy. Fast forward to my days it was a thing of pride (to some sha) to date aristos and be seen as a 'big girl'.I even knew someone who used to say 'every girl needs an aristo' cheesy SMH.Funny enough she had a boyfriend who she is now happily married to and based on the fact that the boy is good (proper nerd and still is)I don't think any karma anything has caught up with her.. Life sha.

2 Likes

Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by armyofone(m): 9:16pm On Oct 02, 2014
Married people can be forceful maybe it is the anxiety from below to get lipsrsealed.
Re: Why Can't Single People 'Just Say No' To Married People? by victorazy(m): 9:16pm On Oct 02, 2014
rozzay: Too many hypocrites here. Cococandy thumbs up gf, the topic clearly stated single pips includes man nd woman, yet wat we r seeing is gal sleeps with married man, wateva happened to boys or guys sleeping with married women. MtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Everything bad sseem to be caused by women.
*unfollows thread*

How many boys u don see sleeping with married women?"Is rare" How many married women have d nervs? But for married men with young girls (including you) na everyday afire

2 Likes

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