Need answers from u Men, females are also welcome.

When You are stressed out, maybe goin through financial probs, You like to be left alone. Why? not to even be disturbed by ur partner or loved one but still have time n act differently towards ur friends, i mean much better than u would to ur girl or wife. Why??

Men, when going through problems, what is the best that we women can do for u because most times u guys don't even want to hear love or anything relating to that, so what do we do to help u as ur partner whether wife or girlfriend?

They want us to just be quiet. Just leave them alone to sort things out, it's nothing personal. Everyone one is allow time to themself to think things through when something is on their mind. When your man get in his mood, ask if he needs you to do anything;get him something to drink,eat,and then leave him a lone until he feels like talking. In the mean time read a book or something. My opinion. Repeatly asking what's wrong, will only make him feel worst

Right but why act differently with friends and differently with ur partner. It makes us feel lost n helpless. So the best is just to ignore?

where r u guys? pls need answers

Don't worry about it. If he is taking care of home and making sure your needs are met, don't worry about it. Spending more time with family and friend will get your mind off of this. If you are not going out for fun, then start. Go out with your friend and dance and have a good time. invite friends over for drinks and conversation and meals sometimes. , take the time to learn another skill or something. Me for one, I don't care about that type of stuff, cause I know who I am. If a man changes his mind or not having a good day, I am still who I am. My opinion only. It is good to ask for others opinion, but everyone thinks differently. That's why it is an opinion. Tell your man, you are thinking about getting some advice from other people concerning you all relationship, because you are confuse about it and it seems like you can't talk to him about it. He might say lets talk. Men don't like other people in their business, so he might talk.
Tell him "no one knows best about our relationship but us".

When you do talk to him, be calm and laidback with the discussion.

You dont talk love when your house is on fire, ladies should give a brother some time and space to sort out burning issues. . . Dont drive a guy mad with all sorts of talk when he's under pressure. Unlike women, men cannot multi-task, its the same with pressure.

Hmm, True that! No wonder she complained I was over-ambitious!

Anyways, i guess its a guy thing. The point is we just wanna be with ladies when it's all happy and sweet. Making the ladies part of our problem makes us feel bad, so we like to get things sort out and then love u mamaz!

Being with friends is the only necessary because most of us have been in a similar situation, so don't take it too personal!

There was a time i was on a project I had to complete fast, I was very stressed, this babe kept 'accusing' me of being too money oriented and not paying much attention. Even after some series of explanation, she still didn't understand how I could call friends up and didn't even remember to send her a text message! Its all good sha, the sooner you ladies understand, the better!

ever heard about the power of a quiet wife? friends are just friends majority of them here today gone tomorrow and like most of you would have known [i]fair weather friends[/i] too. you can talk to them without getting personal.

most guys don't like seeing their wives going through stress and so they shield them by not discussing things.  don't know if this is good for healthy relationships because most womens brains run 24/7 suspecting, scanning ( capturinging and developing in full HD colour) the images and thinking the unthinkables. sorry ladies i know too most men give you reasons for this but you should know it is not good for your health

if your partner ever shares anything with you in the past  under no circumstances are you permitted to use it against them. it stops them ever telling you anything meaningfull in the future

guys, in my opinion if you have a cool,calm and understanding wife always run most ideas through her because she will pick strenght and weakness you will never see as a man.   this doesn't come easy. you must earn the trust of a person before they begin trust you with info.  

HEALTH WARNING - please notice i said cool, calm and understanding don't go running ideas through an enemy then come back here saying i told you so.

the bible says he that desires a friend must make himself friendly.  i love the few friends i have but my wife must always be my No. 1 friend. always make yourself friendly to who ever you choose to travel life's journey. life is better that way

ROFL @ JJYOU!

The most annoying part is when some ladies can't help but think the reason the guy is being cold is because he's got another lover! That shits me off!

@JJYOU
I can relate to that but not discussing things only makes it worse. Is it money? How would u know the woman would understand and just wants to be by ur side to support u when u shut us out? Yes that makes us women scan our head n think the unthinkables. When u love someone, is it only good times, no! It isn't healthy but how do we pretend to be happy when u feel left out?

@Jassie
If it's only happy times then I wonder if love is involved cos as a lady, I want my man to tell me when he has problems, that makes me even feel more cherished n closer rather than shutting me out even when I'm just trying to make sure everything is ok, or at least food.
I can relate to ur girl, how would u call friends and spend time with them when going thru this problems but can't even send a txt, saying hi to ur girl, that's what I'm trying to understand.

Men, sharing ur problems with us doesn't always mean u r stressing us out or at least even if u dont want to tell us, then stop shutting urselves out or is it for the best.


@Whitelexi
We give u men space but isn't enough space when u dont spend time the way u ought to. For example, ur babe is just calling u even once in a week to know how u r, asking u to come n eat, not staying with u n not asking anything from u but making sure u r ok. Isn't that enough space or is it best to just totally ignore??

Men cannot be fully understood. Just try as much as you can to try to understand the one you are with.

@chika98
That's y im seeking help from other guys to really understand men's nature. Shutting the woman out only makes it worse that's y i just want to know why?

@ruffrider
Everything u said was done but i figure they want to be left alone but they wouldnt say so or tell u.

Monicaa:

@chika98
That's y I'm seeking help from other guys to really understand men's nature. Shutting the woman out only makes it worse that's y i just want to know why?

Try as much as you can to understand the one you're with. If he wants space Give it to him. Stroke his ego. By the way, what happened with you ex??

Monicaa:

@JJYOU  I can relate to that but not discussing things only makes it worse. Is it money? How would u know the woman would understand and just wants to be by ur side to support u when u shut us out? Yes that makes us women scan our head n think the unthinkables. When u love someone, is it only good times, no! It isn't healthy but how do we pretend to be happy when u feel left out?

it is almost too late to discuss these things after marriage. these issues are best discussed and agreed before saying I do. personally i cant stand grumpy or secretive people. i don't enjoy stressed people around me so i try my possible best to avoid causing stress to the person i will need for the next 50yrs.  she has one heart. why wear and tear it speedily?

in our house, we have had joint accounts even before we married ( i would add nobody is allowed )to make any single withdrawal over £5k without telling). that is not to say we don'thave have our individual accounts.  it must be open and accessible at all times.

no private letters too. i open her mails and she mine. no email address we both don't have access to.  most people will shout privacy.  my question is allow someone into your life if you want to keep being private?.  the hard work i see in relationships is waiting for someone male/ female who is worthy of that trust.  

most people will trust you if you create an open non threatening atmosphere. by Gods grace that is what i believe i have as we say i am in your life for a very long time get used to it. try be a great friend of your partner it helps

When men or women feel like they are being nagged, they shut down. Sometimes I get in my world, I just don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone until I feel like talking. I am a female and there comes a time when I just want time to myself to think or anything. If you feel that he lost iove, find you someone until he comes around. No, don't do that, hey, but that's what I would do. If I think my man lost his love for me, oh well, I find someoneelse to have fun with in the mean time, until you he comes around, so be it. MY OPINION

ok

@JJYOU

Why now?? i wanted more opinions that's y.

Monicaa: What happened with your ex? Any update?

Sweet topic.

BRB.

@Okija_juju
Ok I'm here waiting 4 u

@Chika98
My dear, he is still there. Begging n begging n begging.

Monicaa:

@Chika98
My dear, he is still there. Begging n begging n begging.

When did he start begging?? I thought Abeg tell us more. How come he's begging

Monicaa:

Need answers from u Men, females are also welcome.

When You are stressed out, maybe goin through financial probs, You like to be left alone. Why? not to even be disturbed by ur partner or loved one but still have time n act differently towards ur friends, i mean much better than u would to ur girl or wife. Why??

Men, when going through problems, what is the best that we women can do for u because most times u guys don't even want to hear love or anything relating to that, so what do we do to help u as ur partner whether wife or girlfriend?

Don't do anything when ur man is stressed out. . . .
If he doesn't wanna talk about it, leave him be.
Women have a way of moaning n griping instead of proffering simple solution to problems.

U know I decided to move on, I didnt even bother seeing him again n before I know it. Text messages, WATS UP BLA BLA, to he hasnt heard from me, to if I still love him, to he still loves n will always love me forever. His text messages n missed calls r still saved on my fone , infact he showed up at my place a lot of times but twice i saw him, he got me lots of foods, bags n so on, i thut it was wonderful but I didnt want to show him in my heart, i still loved him.

@Sauron
How would the man know that the woman can offer solutions when he hasnt even opened up to her not to talk trying to let her in but if that's what u men want then I guess,it will be done.

Monicaa:

@Sauron
How would the man know that the woman can offer solutions when he hasnt even opened up to her not to talk trying to let her in but if that's what u men want then I guess,it will be done.

Previous encounter. . . . . .

Tell a woman about a small mishap and watch her go. . . . ."Oh ma Gosh", "But i told ya. . .", "U don't listen to me" and reh reh reh.
How is that the solution to the problem??
Gimme answers first before moaning.
Unfortunately most women can only moan and gripe, they would never say. . ."What are we going to do??"

Well u r right in someway but in my own case, I'm trying to be there n offer solutions not worsen it n I'm sure most women too do the same thing, trying to offer solutions.

~Sauron~:

Previous encounter. . . . . .

Tell a woman about a small mishap and watch her go. . . . ."Oh ma Gosh", "But i told ya. . .", "U don't listen to me" and reh reh reh.
How is that the solution to the problem??
Gimme answers first before moaning.
Unfortunately most women can only moan and gripe, they would never say. . ."What are we going to do??"

You are very right mate.

I remember when I had a problem that involved me thinking and thinking about it for weeks, when I told Miss, her first response was, what were you thinking in the first place before. I was totally mad. I told her never again would I entrust issues into her hands for her discussion. She thought I was kidding, but she overtime realized that I was serious.

@ Poster,
When he wants to be left alone to iron the issue out, it is best you let him be for real. If he feels it is too much on him, he will eventually tell you.

Pataki:

You are very right mate.

I remember when I had a problem that involved me thinking and thinking about it for weeks, when I told Miss, her first response was, what were you thinking in the first place before. I was totally mad. I told her never again would I entrust issues into her hands for her discussion. She thought I was kidding, but she overtime realized that I was serious.

@ Poster,
When he wants to be left alone to iron the issue out, it is best you let him be for real. If he feels it is too much on him, he will eventually tell you.

you have said it all

Monicaa:

U know I decided to move on, I didnt even bother seeing him again n before I know it. Text messages, WATS UP BLA BLA, to he hasnt heard from me, to if I still love him, to he still loves n will always love me forever. His text messages n missed calls r still saved on my phone , infact he showed up at my place a lot of times but twice i saw him, he got me lots of foods, bags n so on, i thut it was wonderful but I didnt want to show him in my heart, i still loved him.

Na wa ooo. The guy is something else.

~Sauron~:

Previous encounter. . . . . .

Tell a woman about a small mishap and watch her go. . . . ."Oh ma Gosh", "But i told ya. . .", "U don't listen to me" and reh reh reh.
How is that the solution to the problem??
Gimme answers first before moaning.
Unfortunately most women can only moan and gripe, they would never say. . ."What are we going to do??"

Lmao! That is so true. Some women don't know how to handle stuff.

Pataki:

You are very right mate.

I remember when I had a problem that involved me thinking and thinking about it for weeks, when I told Miss, her first response was, what were you thinking in the first place before. I was totally mad. I told her never again would I entrust issues into her hands for her discussion. She thought I was kidding, but she overtime realized that I was serious.

@ Poster,
When he wants to be left alone to iron the issue out, it is best you let him be for real. If he feels it is too much on him, he will eventually tell you.

How is that a solution for solving problems in a long term relationship?? That's a recipe for disaster if you ask me

Monicaa:

Well u r right in someway but in my own case, I'm trying to be there n offer solutions not worsen it n I'm sure most women too do the same thing, trying to offer solutions.

I disagree with you.
Women gripe more than proferring solution!!!!
By the time they come up with it, events woulda overtaken the schitzo and it becomes futile.

Lmao! That is so true. Some women don't know how to handle stuff

I just put it down as women being too emotional. . . . . .Everything is "Oh ma Gosh"!!!
With such in the hearts of men. . . . .They are happy to keep their mind-boggling issues within themselves.