1 . The ventilation system of any building is the perfect
hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in
there, and you can travel to any other part of the building
you want without difficulty.

2 . You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of
your sweetheart back home,

3 . Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German
officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A
German accent will do.

4 . A man will show no pain while taking the most
ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to
clean his wounds. That will finish in a sex scene.

5 . If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate
any strange noises in their most diaphaous underwear,
which is just what they happened to be carrying with them
at the time the car broke down.

6 . If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be
thrown through it before long.


7 . If someone says, “I’ll be right back”, they won’t.

8 . Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen
but always say: “Enter Password Now”.

9 . It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when
beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of
your friends have to knock when they come for a visit. In
addition, every front door can be opened from the outside
without having to use a key.

10 . Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left
to right every few moments.

11 . All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re
going to go off.


12 . A detective can only solve a case once he has been
suspended from duty.

13 . If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone
around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps
you come up with and hear the music in your head.

14 . Police departments give their officers personality tests
to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who
is their total opposite.

15 . When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.

16 . Any bullet from a handgun has enough force to throw
a full-grown man ten feet back.

17 . Characters will always find a parking space right in
front of the building they’re going to even in a large
metropolitan city where parking is basically impossible.

18 . Characters at a bar or at a restaurant table will always
get the attention of a server at the exact moment they
need to order.

19 . When a gift/present is given, the top is wrapped
separately from the rest of the box and it lifts straight off
so that there is never any ripping or fumbling with
wrapping paper.

20 . A chase scene on foot in a city always has a shot of
one of the characters running into the street, nearly being
hit by a car screeching to a halt at which point the driver
flails his arm out the window and yells an expletive.

21 . Anytime a character in an awful rush confronts another
character curious about his predicament, the first one
says, “There’s no time to explain,” and then explains
anyway.

22 . No matter how slow zombies walk they will always
catch up.

23 . The bad guy will always throw his gun at you to
indicate he has run out of bullets.

24 . A candle or table lamp can light a whole room and at
night time, it’s blue.

25 . If the main guy is in love with the main girl, he will
always get her in the end, even if she’s married. If she is
married, her husband will always say “oh well, if it makes
you happy”… and he’ll never go to beat the crap out of the
other guy.

26 . If you are in a film, it is easy for you to master the skill
of controling any vehicle you need, weather it be landing a
plane, for example.

27 . Everybody when needing a computer can type supper
fast and never need to hit the space bar!

28 . Computers never freeze or crash, unlike in the real
world.

29 . The computers have super duper graphics programes
which can zoom into blurs in fotos to make them super
clear!

30 . The best way to get laid is to put on some slow jazz
music.

31 . Everytime the “hero” is sneeking into the bad guy’s
room, checking secret files on the computer:
1a . The password is already typed in.
1b . The password is very simple.
2 . There appears a very slow bar saying “copying”,
“deleting” or “printing” and it is finished just before the bad
guy, the security guard or the mexican cleaner comes in.
3 . In addition to your non-booting computer, they are also
turned off in a flash.
4 . All the characters, even the blonde bimbo’s put in to
lure us to the cinema, became all-knowing super-mega-
nerds once behind a computer. They always know what to
do and how to avoid things.

32 . Good guys never panic, they stay cool at point black
range, and bluff their way out with the “you could surely
use me in your plan” crap.

33 . Heavy guns, for example on helicopters, cause
cosmetic damage to the hero’s transport, but one bullet
makes the chopper blow up.

34 . Text appearing on a computer monitor appears letter
by letter and making a sound as if it was produced by a
typewriter.

35 . You can find whatever you want on the net in a matter
of seconds.

36 . If in a battle scene a bad guy actually manages to
shoot a good guy, the good guy’s friend has the time to
listen to his friend’s dying speech. Once dead, the friend
stands up and shoots the correct bad guy (amongst a
whole host of bad guys). The bad guy has apparently
been sitting around just waiting to be shot!!

37 . No Australian movie is complete without one of this:
1 . A Kangaroo.
2 . A Boomerang.
3 . Ayers Rock.
4 . A Koala.
5 . All of the above.

38 . When someone uses a TV remote it makes a clicking
sound that is impossible to replicate by existing remotes.

39 . When gunfire erupts in public places and cops
respond instantly to it, they’re usally killed by the first
shots.

40 . When gunfire erupts in public, where there are no
cops, they take forever to arrive, but they can still chase
the gunmen.

41 . Detectives can watch a drug deal (carried out furtively
in a shop doorway) go down from a distance of five yards
away by the simple expedient of sitting in a car with a
newspaper raised to eye level.

42 . Cats always make a noise. If someone is creeping into
a house and is momentarily scared by a cat, it always has
to meow before running off.


43 . A woman being chased by a murderer will always fall
over, either because she’s running in stilettos or is
ridiculously clumsy.

44 . Serial killers never just die… they will remain still for
ages so that the hero is fooled and walks right past them…
at which point the killer grabs their ankle and then keeps
fighting.

45 . It is possible to drive safely for long periods with your
head turned completely away from the road ahead, either
in conversation or looking at a map.

46 . People brush their teeth before eating breakfast but
not afterwards, at which point they run out the door with a
piece of toast in their mouth.

47 . Aussie accents in American films always sound like a
mix of Cockney, South African and New Zealander. And
they say things like “Streuth!” and “Blimey!”

48 . The bad guy’s sexy girl will try to seduce the good
guy, then when that fails will beat him up using martial
arts. That while wearing skintight leather, lycra and
stilettos.

49 . Women can never find their car keys while being
pursued by a killer. Once they do find them, it takes them
ages to fumble the keys into the ignition, giving the killer
enough time to reach the car and pound on the window.

50 . Somehow cars take several turns of the key to start
but only when someone is chasing you.

51 . Every bad guy knows how to tie really complicated
knots… which somehow the good guy manages to untie.

52 . A person investigating strange noises in their house
always finds that the lights don’t work, then stumble
around in the dark rather than getting a torch. At least one
of the noises they hear will turn out to be made by a cat.

53 . When a cat eats a fish, it leaves the skeleton perfectly
reserved and intact.

54 . Dogs always bark at ghosts.

55 . Vicious guard dogs can be easily distracted with a
piece of steak.

56 . Mice can somehow fashion a perfectly semi-circular
entrance to their dwelling.

57 . A small goat is capable of propelling a fully grown man
through the air by butting him in the ass with it’s horns.

58 . Many animals, when they consume alcohol, will take
on human drunken characteristics, usually to the sound of
a trombone being played.

59 . Anytime a person is expecting a bad guy to jump out
at them, often they’ll sigh in relief when it’s just the cat, or
the wind, or a tree branch against the window. But as soon
as they let their guard down and laugh at their “silliness”,
they’re going to be attacked by the bad guy that really was
there after all.

60 . When someone puts a baby down to bed, that baby
coos and smiles, and then just goes right off to sleep. It’s
amazing.

61 . If someone jumps off a bridge into a river, lake,
etcetera, the water will always be deep enough to keep
them from getting hurt. But when a bad guy falls from a
river, he/she’s good as gone.

62 . Police officers never wait for back-up.

63 . The only time people do say hello on the telephone is
when it turns to be the bad guy on the other end of line
calling to torment them.

64 . Bad things usually happen to women who are alone in
the house on stormy nights.

65 . If you are driving somewhere on any other route other
than a city roadway, you will probably have that road all to
yourself and will not pass or be passed by another vehicle.

66 . In the movies everyone seems to have some odd “L
shaped” sheets on their beds able to cover a woman up to
her neck and her partner up to his waste.

67 . Being around a bomb causes time to slow down.

68 . Bad guys die instantly, good guys die slowly.

69 . When the good guy is being attacked by a gang, they
will run at him one at a time while the rest stay (in the case
of ninjas, dance) around in a menacing manner, allowing
him to kick all of their asses by the time the scene is over.

70 . Most of police investigations will require at least one
visit to a strip club.

71 . You can jump from a tall building and land on
mattresses, a pile of boxes, or a dumpster full of garbage
and, though you might groan and be a little slow getting
up, you will not sustain any serious injury.

72 . It’s very easy to fool the security guards at highly top
secret government institutions.

73 . It’s very easy for a computer hacker to break a
security code and find just the information he’s looking for
in less than a minute.

74 . If you’re a criminal mastermind, you cannot just shoot
the hero in the back, you have to tie him up and wait for
some diabolical machine to finish the hero off and you
can’t wait around to make sure it works, which allows the
hero a chance to escape, which he always does because
apparently no bad guy ever got his knot tying badge in the
boy scouts.

75 . When an ugly girl takes off her glasses, gets a haircut,
and puts on nice clothes she is suddenly very hot.

76 . No matter who you are calling, no matter what time
you are making the call, the person you’re calling will
always answer the phone, usually after only one or two
rings. Of course, this assumes you aren’t running from a
killer while trying to make a call on a cell phone, in which
case there is a 100% chance that either the battery will be
dead or you won’t be able to get a signal.
77 . Whenever you put on a seatbelt, you will get into an
accident.

78 . The good guy always has the cooler cell phone.

79 . If you chase someone through a park you will never
step in dog poop or chewing gum, but you will always step
on someone’s picnic.

78 . No matter how crowded the bar is, there are always
extra stools available right in front of a bartender who is
just standing there waiting for someone to order.

80 . People who oversleep and get woken up by phone
calls go straight to work without making the bed, but when
they get home at night, their bed is made.

81 . People in movies rarely have to shave, and whenever a
guy does shave, he will be interrupted while half finished,
and will wipe the remaining shaving cream off with a
towel. Of course, even the part he didn’t get to shave will
be perfectly smooth.

82 . When a good guy enters a house, he/she will avoid
every shot of machine gun fire while killing a lot of bad
guys. He/she doesn’t need to reload his pistol until he
runs out of ammo, which coincidentially happens when the
main bad guy appears, at which point he fights him/her
hand to hand.

83 . In battle, a normal peon soldier is shot with one bullet
and instantly drops dead to the ground, while the
protagonist in said battle can be shot in various places by
multiple shooters, and survive with a few bandages and a
cast.

84 . It doesn’t matter who you call, if they choose not to
answer their phone you will get their voicemail in less than
1.5 rings.

85 . A devious villain will immediately shoot a non-
important character whenever needed without hesitation.
However when he finally has the chance to kill the hero
seeking to craft his doom, he will undoubtedly hold a
firearm trained on said protagonist for at least 90 seconds
while performing a well-written soliliquoy. This delay is all
the hero needs to escape.

86 . When a woman is being pursued by a scary serial
killer that she knows is in her house, she will always run
upstairs instead of out of the house.

87 . You can break into any house or door with a credit
card.

88 . The bad guy will always tell the good guy every detail
about his masterplan instead of just shooting him.

89 . Whenever a guy and a girl hop into a bed together in
three seconds the girl will start moaning and will be close
to climaxing. Plus the guy will always put a minimal effort,
after all she will still be screaming and moaning away.

90 . When someone has stopped breathing and has no
pulse, simply breathing into her mouth twice and looking
extremely distressed while screaming “DON’T YOU DIE ON
ME!” will bring her back to life immediately.

91 . In a TV episode where someone will probaly die,
there’s always an extra character that no one has ever
seen before to kill him.

92 . Aliens will always have more advanced techonology
than us.

93 . When you turn on the tv, the news will always be on.

94 . People never obey warnings.

95 . There’s always a corrupt police officer.

96 . Movie theatres and drive-ins only show classic horror
movies.

98 . If you meet a member of the opposite sex, and you
both hate each other… don’t worry… you’ll eventually fall in
love with each other.

99 . Major disasters always happen in New York.

100 . The President is always very considerate and well-
spoken. Not to mention he always is able to fly a jet fighter
when needed.

13 . If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone
around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps
you come up with and hear the music in your head.

In American movies?
Or you can't tell the difference b/w "Bollywood" and "Hollywood"

So true

Guykhena:


In American movies?
Or you can't tell the difference b/w "Bollywood" and "Hollywood"

It happens in Hollywood musicals too. Not even only musicals. I can remember vividly an episode in How I met your mother.

Non b only Nigeria they make mistake