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Battling Shyness - Romance - Nairaland

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Shyness Killing Me Slowly / How To Kill Your Shyness,(learn From My Experience). / Vertedness (2) (3) (4)

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Battling Shyness by Heebucun(f): 7:20pm On Oct 06, 2014
This is a countinuation of my other thread.
U can check it the other thread;
https://www.nairaland.com/1912423/how-bring-shy-guy-out

An introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness.

Shyness is the tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions.
Most people feel shy at least occasionally. Some people’s shyness is so intense, however, that it can keep them from interacting with others even when they want or need to— leading to problems in relationships and at work

Since we are clear now.Let's continue

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Re: Battling Shyness by Dottune(m): 7:26pm On Oct 06, 2014
Even though she hasn't started my Lectures.... #Following
Re: Battling Shyness by yuncka: 7:28pm On Oct 06, 2014
This piece of writing from this site will go a long way to help people facing the problem of shyness. Check d link.


http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Shyness&sa=U&ei=Rt4yVOyAF4bHPe6vgeAN&ved=0CCcQFjAA&usg=AFQjCNE1DAG2aDtQbVd-pGYYYc73vEbhvA
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 7:30pm On Oct 06, 2014
drink a beer, ride a bike, join a theatre club. if you're a girl, wear a loud hair. if you're a man meet some dancers
Re: Battling Shyness by SkinnyDude(m): 7:30pm On Oct 06, 2014
Heebucun:
This is a countinuation of my other thread.
U can check it the other thread;
https://www.nairaland.com/1912423/how-bring-shy-guy-out

An introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness.

Shyness is the tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions.
Most people feel shy at least occasionally. Some people’s shyness is so intense, however, that it can keep them from interacting with others even when they want or need to— leading to problems in relationships and at work

Since we are clear now.Let's continue
please, how do i reduce the rate with which i stutter?
it's really the source of my shyness.

#PleaseExcuseMyBadEnglish
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 7:45pm On Oct 06, 2014
hmmm, i used to be shy. Still have little traces.
#following.
Re: Battling Shyness by Heebucun(f): 7:48pm On Oct 06, 2014
This should be an interactive thread.
If u know the cause of ur shyness just mention it and someone can answer it or
U could just follow people's lead on how to overcome shyness.
Here are a few of my list on how to battle shyness will discuss others later
1)Don't worry about saying the perfect thing

Instead of searching for the perfect turn of phrase, just work on saying something to keep the conversation going.
If you’re too hung up on every word you say, then you’ll be much more likely to lapse into silence or to stumble on your words. Just keep talking and don’t overthink it and you’ll be much more impressive than if you say almost nothing for five minutes and then tell the perfect joke

2)Come up with a few topics in advance so you feel less nervous.

If you want to feel less shy about talking to girls or in a crowd then one thing you can do is to come up with some ideas for things you could talk about in advance in case you run out of conversational material. In the moment, you may be too busy being in awe of the girl’s cuteness or the population to come up with anything to say or the So, make a quick mental list of just three or four things you could say to her before you start talking. This will make you feel more confident when you go into the conversation,
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 7:50pm On Oct 06, 2014
SkinnyDude:

please, how do i reduce the rate with which i stutter?
it's really the source of my shyness.

#PleaseExcuseMyBadEnglish
i dunno, maybe u should be very very gentle on yourself. speak calmly, respiring plentifully to lower your anxiety as you talk..
Re: Battling Shyness by Tallesty1(m): 7:53pm On Oct 06, 2014
SkinnyDude:

please, how do i reduce the rate with which i stutter?
it's really the source of my shyness.

#PleaseExcuseMyBadEnglish
Bros.

Me sef dey do hard starting before.

TBH it is very embarrassing.

Thou I stopped mine when I was small.

How

I developed a speech pattern.

I learnt to speak slowly and calmly.

To relax and focus on what I'm saying instead of how I'd say it.

To slow down or pause when I reach a stuttering obstacle.

It really helped me.

The only time I do hard starting now is when I'm really angry.

Read this================================>http://mobile.goaskalice.columbia.edu/managing-stuttering

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by iceberylin(m): 7:55pm On Oct 06, 2014
ŴĔĔĎ ĨŚ ŤĤĔ ßĔŚŤ ČÚŔĔ grin
Re: Battling Shyness by Heebucun(f): 7:57pm On Oct 06, 2014
SkinnyDude:

please, how do i reduce the rate with which i stutter?
it's really the source of my shyness.

#PleaseExcuseMyBadEnglish

I admire u courage dear.I hope u get over this
1)Don't talk too fast.talking too fast will onli increase the stuttering.try talking slow even when annoyed
2)Read out aloud.try reading books,captions anything u come across loud to urself.
let others drop their advice

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by SkinnyDude(m): 8:02pm On Oct 06, 2014
Tallesty1:
Bros.

Me sef dey do hard starting before.

TBH it is very embarrassing.

Thou I stopped mine when I was small.

How

I developed a speech pattern.

I learnt to speak slowly and calmly.

To relax and focus on what I'm saying instead of how I'd say it.

To slow down or pause when I reach a stuttering obstacle.

It really helped me.

The only time I do hard starting now is when I'm really angry.

Read this================================>http://mobile.goaskalice.columbia.edu/managing-stuttering
ya. anytime i want to talk/speak, what first comes to my mind is 'i hope i wont stutter'. then my heart starts beating. na anxiety oh!
i tend to focus on how i'd speak instead of what i will say. and i dont speak calmly and slowly, i rush words in other to speak faster before stutter comes, but it ain't helping.
Thanx. i will start putting them into practise.

Btw, it gets worse anytime am on phone or trying to speak english. why?
Re: Battling Shyness by Heebucun(f): 8:12pm On Oct 06, 2014
missberrypop5:
hmmm, i used to be shy. Still have little traces.
#following.
Care to share how u got over urs?u can help some peeps and wat are the little traces u have.we can also help out
Re: Battling Shyness by Dottune(m): 8:15pm On Oct 06, 2014
Mine is:

When I See A Girl, I can't muster Up courage to talk to her, what goes through my mind is she'll Wash me or what would she think of me.

Sometimes when I'm among my friends, not all though, like I find it hard to express myself. If I feel like saying something I will just suddenly trail off on it, or say it so quietly no one will hear and they'll be like "what is this one saying" or I should just say something stupid or I should just say something out of the blue, instead of making sense I will make it incomplete.

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by asema646(m): 8:15pm On Oct 06, 2014
oyahhhhh nah
Re: Battling Shyness by Tallesty1(m): 8:20pm On Oct 06, 2014
SkinnyDude:

ya. anytime i want to talk/speak, what first comes to my mind is 'i hope i wont stutter'. then my heart starts beating. na anxiety oh!
i tend to focus on how i'd speak instead of what i will say. and i dont speak calmly and slowly, i rush words in other to speak faster before stutter comes, but it ain't helping.
Thanx. i will start putting them into practise.

Btw, it gets worse anytime am on phone or trying to speak english. why?
lols.....

I don't know.

Just try what I listed there and visit the link when you are free.

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by ebolablast: 8:22pm On Oct 06, 2014
jj
Re: Battling Shyness by Ekiseme(m): 8:23pm On Oct 06, 2014
Following cool
Re: Battling Shyness by Ekiseme(m): 8:23pm On Oct 06, 2014
ebolablast:
jj
kini ele yi? undecided undecided
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 8:27pm On Oct 06, 2014
Shyness is a derivative of self-consciousness. The remedy? Simply take out the cause. Stop thinking too much about yourself, your outlook or performance in social situations. Try to look out for other people and show interest when you can. Engage in some social activities. Take it slowly and be determined to improve. Again, the main goal is to take your mind off yourself to focus on the externals.
Ask Naija love doctor for relationship advice today
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 8:33pm On Oct 06, 2014
Heebucun:


I admire u courage dear.I hope u get over this
1)Don't talk too fast.talking too fast will onli increase the stuttering.try talking slow even when annoyed
2)Read out aloud.try reading books,captions anything u come across loud to urself.
let others drop their advice

true! The number 2 works like magic. Find any book of your choice and try reading at a very slow place(one word at a time) and try completing the word. Normally, when you stutter, you don't complete your words. You say something like 'i wan.. tt..vvisi..th..bbathroom' instead of 'I want to visit the bathroon'.

If you can read 5 paragraphs of a book every morning in a slow, bold and complete way, for about 1 month, you'll notice huge changes in the way you speak. You'll literelly reconfigure the way your speech cords receive and cordinate signals from the brain.
Ask Naija love doctor for relationship advice today
Re: Battling Shyness by tatax(m): 8:36pm On Oct 06, 2014
I used to be shy but I dealt with it by assuming control of whatever it is i want to do or say..this words i say to myself at all times.."Express yourself the way you want it and nobody will kill you". I feel so relaxed whenever i say these words to myself and before i knew it, I started being confident.
I tricked my heart with those words and gained confidence which is key.
All you need do is find a way to build your confidence, I did mine by whispering those words to myself..you can discover yours all by yourself.

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by agrovick(m): 8:43pm On Oct 06, 2014
missberrypop5:
hmmm, i used to be shy. Still have little traces.
#following.
grin
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 8:47pm On Oct 06, 2014
Come out of your shell. Give a speech in a class, address a crowd, stare at people eyeball to eyeball, let them be the first to blink, join a social group, woo a stubborn biatch... F**king get out of your goddamned house... You have only your shyness to lose. Pardon my slurs. I am trying to cure shyness too.

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by SkinnyDude(m): 8:47pm On Oct 06, 2014
Tallesty1:
lols.....

I don't know.

Just try what I listed there and visit the link when you are free.
lol. thanx. LMAO at the 'hard starting' matter. u funny o!
Re: Battling Shyness by Heebucun(f): 8:51pm On Oct 06, 2014
Dottune:
Mine is:

When I See A Girl, I can't muster Up courage to talk to her, what goes through my mind is she'll Wash me or what would she think of me.

Sometimes when I'm among my friends, not all though, like I find it hard to express myself. If I feel like saying something I will just suddenly trail off on it, or say it so quietly no one will hear and they'll be like "what is this one saying" or I should just say something stupid or I should just say something out of the blue, instead of making sense I will make it incomplete.


Work to ease your nervousness. You may be feeling nervous right before you talk to a girl, and that’s perfectly natural. There are many things you can do to calm down and to feel better before you even open your mouth. A few simple tricks can make your next conversation with a girl feel more natural and less scary. Here are some things you can do:
Count to thirty in your head before you approach the girl. This can help you feel more at ease.
Focus on your breathing. Work on breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose ten times, and you’ll start to feel more relaxed.
If you have a stress ball or something you can squeeze in your pocket, this can help you ease some of the tension. This can also help you avoid fidgeting and will make you look less nervous.
Make eye contact with the girl. If you look at the floor or look around you, this may actually end up making you look and feel more nervous.

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by Heebucun(f): 8:54pm On Oct 06, 2014
chukwuma101:
Come out of your shell. Give a speech in a class, address a crowd, stare at people eyeball to eyeball, let them be the first to blink, join a social group, woo a stubborn biatch... F**king get out of your goddamned house... You have only your shyness to lose. Pardon my slurs. I am trying to cure shyness too.
I agree with some of your points ;-)
Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 8:56pm On Oct 06, 2014
I've also noticed that a lot of stammerers appear to be too serious for their own good. learn to find humour in people and to be funny naturally..

1 Like

Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 9:21pm On Oct 06, 2014
Heebucun:

Care to share how u got over urs?u can help some peeps and wat are the little traces u have.we can also help out
hmmm, overcoming shyness isn't an easy one o. It needs effort and Courage to tackle this ish. Shyness comes with low self esteem and we don't usually accept ourselves the way we are. We so much focus on ourselves that we think people notice our mistakes or where we went wrong. We think people out there are perfect and we're not.
You have to accept yourself the way you are. No one is perfect. And the more we realise that people are too busy to notice you passed, or fall, or if your clothes are good enough or not, the better for you. You have to take a decision that you wouldn't care what people say about you, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take correction.
Shy people have negative thoughts about themselves, try to see yourself the other way.

2. You have to find out wat pulls that shyness outta you. People to tell my mother i was very quite and my mother will laugh at them and tell them i'm a Lion at home. We notice we don't feel shy when we're with familiar faces, like families and friends. But we get shy with unfamiliar faces. Here's wat you'll do. See everyone as a family and a friend. It takes courage to do this. Try to be yourself; that person you are at home outside. You may start by being a bit interactive, and laugh when necessary. You'll see it's not as hard as you think. From there, you get social and the shyness goes away.

2 Likes

Re: Battling Shyness by Nobody: 9:24pm On Oct 06, 2014
agrovick:

grin
taaaa grin
Re: Battling Shyness by SkinnyDude(m): 9:44pm On Oct 06, 2014
spotit:
I've also noticed that a lot of stammerers appear to be too serious for their own good. learn to find humour in people and to be funny naturally..
how? please elaborate.
Re: Battling Shyness by agrovick(m): 9:58pm On Oct 06, 2014
missberrypop5:
taaaa grin
oya come and tish me how to be daring grin

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