spotit:
of course that's my point and stand.

but i still see it as unrealistic to sugarcoat pills just so that she wouldn't do something drastic. this girl has a noticeable degree of stability, still she has to get realest opinions to make her survey successful and consequently act upon it without hesitation. assurances are great, but not to build her up again to procrastinate

and not be disrespectful, _{you come off more as a pastor} than anything

You don't know me AT ALL!!!

spotit:
of course that's my point and stand.

but i still see it as unrealistic to sugarcoat pills just so that she wouldn't do something drastic. this girl has a noticeable degree of stability, still she has to get realest opinions to make her survey successful and consequently act upon it without hesitation. assurances are great, but not to build her up again to procrastinate

and not be disrespectful, you come off more as a pastor than anything

First off, I am not sugar-coating everything. Its the normal Nigerian mentality to rip off the bandage and allow the child cry out in pain. She has not said anything outrageous. She didn't say she wanted to kill the kids or that she hated men or marriage for that matter. All her comments were passive aggressive. I was the one who suggested to her to dig deeper and the pickabeau1 asked a probing question before she opened more.

You don't get anything done by being harsh. And quite frankly she has not met any of the definitive terms to diagnose depression. If she does I will look into it. For now what she is going through is a quite common phase among our youth and she'll get over it. If she starts showing any signs of depression I will address it but for now she's exhibiting the regular ups and downs that everyone, even you, goes through. She just chose to speak her mind through this forum. If I ask you to be honest and bring out your dirtiest forbidden thoughts, it's most probably going to be as bad if not worse than hers.

A depressed person is on an emotional merry-go-round and is highly suggestion prone. Telling her harsh things that you think might wake her up will only make her worse. That's why I was upset with d choleric's post. You just don't suggest suicide to a depressed person because they will do it. The natural need for self preservation, the fear of death is gone. If she were severely depressed and he had said that she would actually had gone ahead with the suggestion. Hence my correction to him, maybe not for her but in case of next time. It is extremely dangerous to do so.
Depression can be classified as Mild , Moderate, and Severe. She has not met the criteria for evenild depression as far as I'm concerned. However , certain things can actually trigger a person into depression. You want to avoid such things when counselling people like this.



About talking like a pastor, I couldnt even quote the verse I was trying to pull out. I don't know whether I should be pleased with the pastor remark or offended Check my other posts on what I think about (fake)pastors.


Am off to bed. Goodnight preshuzpearl and sleep tight.

^^^it's alright, you're good.

Well I must say am a little relieved to hear I'm not depressed and nothing is wrong with me. Its just weird that I have misunderstandings with people all the time and keep thinking I should just die and forget about it all.
This means that there ar3 many others are like me and am not an odd one out. Thanks for clearing that out. I feel better about myself already

preshuzpearl:
Well I must say am a little relieved to hear I'm not depressed and nothing is wrong with me. Its just weird that I have misunderstandings with people all the time and keep thinking I should just die and forget about it all.
This means that there ar3 many others are like me and am not an odd one out. Thanks for clearing that out. I feel better about myself already

don't conclude so quickly yet. u have a case somewhere within the autism spectrum...just meet a psychologist cos mental health is implicated in your trouble(ASD). unless u slept last night and woke up to live now on wishing. it's not a bad thing to be where you are...this is why i said sugarcoating it would make u slide into procrastination

preshuzpearl:
Well I must say am a little relieved to hear I'm not depressed and nothing is wrong with me. Its just weird that I have misunderstandings with people all the time and keep thinking I should just die and forget about it all.
This means that there ar3 many others are like me and am not an odd one out. Thanks for clearing that out. I feel better about myself already

You're not crazy and I'll want to agree that you can't be said to be suffering from depression at this stage.However,you have thoughts and an outlook that is leading you in a wrong direction.

Thinking that you should just die and forget about it all is not a normal thought and certainly not thoughts everyone goes through.I still wouldn't want to leave you alone.

Like 5minsmadness said(though I'll disagree with him that your case is to be overlooked),you have a lot to do with your mind.You have to think positive thoughts and feed you mind with messages of hope and positivity.

I'll still recommend you see a clinical psychologist and have therapy sessions.

Well, first of all I will tell to go with 5minutesmadness and soulglo advice. 2.U really need a nice man to love you, oh yes. a man that can show you what love is all about,,and make you feel like a woman. That will really make you to see marriage and raising children differently.

preshuzpearl:
Well I must say am a little relieved to hear I'm not depressed and nothing is wrong with me. Its just weird that I have misunderstandings with people all the time and keep thinking I should just die and forget about it all.
This means that there ar3 many others are like me and am not an odd one out. Thanks for clearing that out. I feel better about myself already

You are welcome. The first step to proper healing is to realise your problem is not unique, that you are not alone. Feeling better about yourself on its own is beneficial therapy and a sign that things are actually better than they look. Keep being positive, don't let anything get you down. Your outlook on life today can be totally different in a year's or 5years time. Cheers.

DWJOBScom:


Have never for moment regretted reading up ur articles/writeups/contributions......! Way to go man!!! You rock

Thanks

preshuzpearl:
@shizzle11. I seriously dont care what conclusions you made. You may be right and you may not be. I'm only saying my mind.
And yes..if I am to die and my death makes the world a less difficult place to live in. I'm more than happy to leave

@thorpido. Of course I have. Just doesnt last long.

Now this got me interested.... but why?? What is happening to you young lady?
Have you discussed this with any close person/confidant (someone you love) or you don't have any...
You are delusional and suicidal.. you need to see a psychologist..

Modified..
After reading 5minsmadness' post, I think I should remove depression from the list... I am tempted to replace it with frustration though

7

njokusboy:


Now this got me interested.... but why?? What is happening to you young lady?
Have you discussed this with any close person/confidant (someone you love) or you don't have any...
You are delusional and suicidal.. you need to see a psychologist..

Modified..
After reading 5minsmadness' post, I think I should remove depression from the list... I am tempted to replace it with frustration though

I have no reason to be frustrated. I have a loving family that takes good care of me, a good job that pays well and I get whatever I want if I just ask. The only thing that makes me unhappy is my relationship with people. Its not a good one

shalomp:
Well, first of all I will tell to go with 5minutesmadness and soulglo advice. 2.U really need a nice man to love you, oh yes. a man that can show you what love is all about,,and make you feel like a woman. That will really make you to see marriage and raising children differently.

Thanks for your suggestion but I really cant keep a relationship. No point starting one when it'll just get wrecked within a short time

preshuzpearl:


Heyyy. Am the one in a fix here and looking for help. I'm being honest about my feelings and in no way am I justifying them. I cant help it okay?

so what exactly do you want us to do for you now? Be specific.

preshuzpearl:



Secondly I began to think I might be (please don't judge me for this) homosexual. I know with nigerian culture and christianity, this is wrong. Even I hate the thought of it and will condemn anyone involved but lately I'm beginning to think it might be natural. If there is any possibility that I am one, I want to know so I can pray about it, do deliverance or something.

huh?

@Op..Well well i will advice You u dont listen to some peeps here expclly those making You feel. As if u are not normal psychological,,what u feeling right now happens to me early 2008,i wasnt reali into men cos i break up out of any relationship @ any slightest mistake frm any Guy,i dont like kids either and marriage expeciali been commited to a man for a very long time is what i dread most but u see the Solutions lies within your heart...1 You have to start praying to God to change your heart cause God institutionl marriage,believe u doing the will of God by loving deeply and plz rembr to pray to Love evrytin God Created..4xamp Men,Kids living things and non living things,infact pray to Love and be Loved...find a gathering where people will show you true meanin of true love expc in Gods presence and b4 u know it ur mentality will change that was what saw me through the trauma and now am married with a kid and i love kids so much now i wish to have more...With God everytin is Possible my dear.

It would be nice to stick to one issue at a time.
You don't sound like a content individual.
Your outlook on life is quite 'gloomy'!

Your first step is to be evaluated for depression.
You have some unresolved issues.
Nothing to do with what you are discussing here.
Please, see a SHRINK ASAP!

Kanwulia:
It would be nice to stick to one issue at a time.
You don't sound like a content individual.
Your outlook on life is quite 'gloomy'!

Your first step is to be evaluated for depression.
You have some unresolved issues.
Nothing to do with what you are discussing here.
Please, see a SHRINK ASAP!

Op look into this.

preshuzpearl:
7

I have no reason to be frustrated. I have a loving family that takes good care of me, a good job that pays well and I get whatever I want if I just ask. The only thing that makes me unhappy is my relationship with people. Its not a good one

Could it be that you were just too sheltered? You might just be afraid of the unknown. Unchartered territory. A statement you made reminded me of something Elizabeth Bishop said. She said whenever she did not have what she wanted, she was lonely and sad but when she finally got what she wanted she spent all her time afraid she'd lose it. You have already decided that you will ruin every relationship and have built a mindset that supports that. Maybe its a way of coping with the anxiety and fear that comes up when you think of failure in that regard. You cannot discover new lands until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. I sense so much anxiety in you. Take baby steps to formimg relationships. I think I can relate a little bit with you. I don't have too many close personal friends and I admit that too much outside input into my life is a huge problem for me. My mom complains but my dad understands because we are very similar. I also enjoy my own company A LOT. Too many people around actually starts to irritate me after a while. Having said all that, I still understand the importance of forging relationships. Nobody is an Island. You could probably find a partner just like you but in the mean time you need to step out of faith. The decision you have made now is purely fear based. You don't make the best decisions when you're afraid.

^^^ thanks for your comment. Makes sense

@Op how has it been since the exchange of views between u and nairalanders ? I have a few contribution to make here ,
firstly, u should try to have a good male friend not necessarily for relationship but as company, he should be a guy who knows u well and what you are going true or ur reasoning, the success of it all depends largely on how understanding , caring, sweet and loving he is.
You said you never had a long and enjoyable relationship with a guy that is because you meet people who dont really understand u and u not understanding them, you are not alone on this, many people are having the same problem as u so stop harbouring the idea that maybe u are not normal, my dear u are , you just need to be happy.
Secondly, I must tell u this not every body must have children and some people won't but I can understand that our society frawn at it but it all boils down on the kind of man u have and his own reasonings, so u just have to have patience till ur mr almighty comes around and turn ur world around into something amazing,
Good luck,

I have more suggestions but that would be in private, u can inbox me if u care to

Thanks. I'm taking some baby steps already. No body is perfect so I am not going to look for a perfect person. That's probably why my relationships have been failing.

As for kids I won't think of them. I already decided that even if I get married I will not let society pressure me into having them.
Most of all I will follow God's guidance.

By the way. As a follow up on this post, I started seeing a doc at general hospital and they prescribed some drugs for me as well as therapy. I've been on medication for about month now and I think it's working. The only bad thing there is that I seem to be dependent on the drug now. If I don't take it I will not enjoy my day.

An independent thought will always be a threat to the crowd.

OP listen to what Bananabender said but damn any psychologists

Just like the op, I need help. No joke, this is a really critical issue. I tell people that marriage and procreation are meant just for life on earth so why attach so much importance to it. But i don't walk the talk.

The vicious cycle of rising and falling. A life that falls short of its moral and spiritual ideals.

I am getting seriously restless in recent times due these conflict of desires within me. Poor relationship with friends and family out my innate desire to always be alone. String of unsatisfying romances, the perception of the imperfect human and society, short-lived relationships, the desire to love and be loved but not wanting to be attached. Its really perplexing. But I observed that this kind of unhappy living is common among the Virgos signs.

I have read several good books that are helpful but keep find myself feeling uneasy, seeking further help. What's really wrong?

damesilver:
Just like the op, I need help. No joke, this is a really critical issue. I tell people that marriage and procreation are meant just for life on earth so why attach so much importance to it. But i don't walk the talk.

The vicious cycle of rising and falling. A life that falls short of its moral and spiritual ideals.

I am getting seriously restless in recent times due these conflict of desires within me. Poor relationship with friends and family out my innate desire to always be alone. String of unsatisfying romances, the perception of the imperfect human and society, short-lived relationships, the desire to love and be loved but not wanting to be attached. Its really perplexing. But I observed that this kind of unhappy living is common among the Virgos signs.

I have read several good books that are helpful but keep find myself feeling uneasy, seeking further help. What's really wrong?

You might be a bit of a perfectionist. You seek to always do things the right or ideal way. And you wonder why others can't do same.
I guess you get disappointed by human nature/behaviour.
In times past, people like you could have gone into a convent and become a nun.

You are not alone though. But you can overcome it. Not easy but you can.

(1) Don't be too harsh on yourself.

(2) Try to picture that people are different and despite shared experience, people still have individual personalities & experiences

(3) Don't rush into relationships or do it on impulse. Try to define what you actually want from a relationship(love, companionship, marriage, kids, a happy home OR NONE OF THEM?).

(4) Compliment others when they do something good, so that when you criticise, they won't think of you as a perpetual complainer that is impossible to please.

(5) Recognise that others generally mean well, even if their behaviour sometimes fall short.

(6) Try to enjoy your relationship, don't be hung up on finding faults or reasons why it won't just to justify the "negative" impression of relationships.

preshuzpearl:
By the way. As a follow up on this post, I started seeing a doc at general hospital and they prescribed some drugs for me as well as therapy. I've been on medication for about month now and I think it's working. The only bad thing there is that I seem to be dependent on the drug now. If I don't take it I will not enjoy my day.

I read through your thread and I can't believe some experts and some peeps here were telling you there was nothing wrong with you!

Your words, thoughts and reactions on this thread alone suggested there was something very wrong with you. Your thoughts about children, parents, having a family, lesbianism, suicide, killing and depression were screaming alarms! You were depressed- very much so. Fact.

Happy you are seeing a doctor. It's a good step to recovery.

I also suggest u get to the roots of what's troubling you, if you really want to lead a normal life or find your authentic self. Drugs won't heal or cure you. But it can help, though there will be side effects.

What u really need to be FREE is to also see an Emotions Therapist that'll go to the roots of your problem and release them. Take this advise seriously. Let me know what u think.