faithugo64:
most ladies believe that a guy who loves you would never want to sleep with you untill he marries you.so here is my question

is it possible to love someone and not have the DESIRE to kiss,hug or have sex with him/her?

Please i don't mean having sex with the person,i mean is it possible not to have the DESIRE(wanting) to be intimate with that person.

NOTE: HERE AM NOT TALKING ABOUT AGAPE LOVE O!!!

That in fact is true love

eph12:
Loving someone and having sexual urge are two different things and are not related in any way.

Give this man a beeer!!

Lol....I do fink everi1 shud b sincere here....its absoluteli impossible 2 b in a relatnshp wif sum1 n luv d person( nt agape luv as indicated abv) n nt v d desire 2 b intimate wif such person.....d filin is a natural fin as far as u'v gat blood flowin tru ur veins n nt orange juice...dn its nw a choice 2 succumb or nt ( now @ dis point, it depends on individual principle)
PS: even d most holy pastors had d@ same urge wn dy wr courtin wif deir partner....cos it's natural n a normal fin 2 v such urge 4 sum1 u luv(n abnormal nt 2 v such urge). A writer once said.."It's normal 2 v an erection buh neva let ur erectn gv u directn". Minin u own d body, u shud control it, it shudnt control u

abm2pistle:


Let's tell our self the truth. Liking someone burns your sexual desire, talk more of love. It could be possible but the chance is very slim.

am not disputing your facts but when true love is involve true,Sex won't be a priority or an issue. Except if u were attracted by her shape,boobs,booty etc but when they love is genuine the story is different with respect 2 our human nature

Centrifuge4:
U ar deceivin ursef. Ur type turn out to be impotent man on wedin night, discovered to d chagrin of d gullible wif. I refused to go into relatnsip in order to avoid sex for years. D moment i tried a relatnsip, sex folowed imediately witout bargainin 4 it. Wil u say i dnt lov her? I felt as if i wud die if she left me. She eventualy left me, and am yet to recova. Sin? Yes, i knw it's a sin but... to say d truth, lif has no meanin.

hey don't misunderstand me. Am nt talking from a religious point of view am talking from the emotional and psychological aspect.take for instance wen u are very happy or sad u won't have the appetite 2 eat so its in the same development when the love is from ur heart it controls ir feelings n urges. The reason why u had se with her probably u were very intimate with her n u couldn't control ur urges

olami100:


the only problem I have wif ur write up is wen u said ur feeling and emotions won't let u have sex not even tink of it! I bent to disagree wif u big time!
Honestly I will appreciate if u use the word I was “determined” not to have sex wif her until marriage, not ur feelings and emotions cos love is not feelings or emotions cos dey can decieve u a lot okay!!!!!

. It actually depends I dnt know from what pespertive u are looking from wat I meant is wen u genuinely love her I mean GENUINELY love her nt because of her shape,boobs,booty or tins like dat den sex isn't an issue

oloworulz:
eventhough na another man remain am for u? I pity u, don't pray to marry my leftover babe, believe me I no leave their engine intact, I scatter inside too much.

lol! Every one has his motives for been in a relationship from wat am seeing urs happen 2 be sex. Mine is beyond dat weda left over or not NOTE: we all have stories 2 tell (past)

Tbright:
AnD z possible for such event not to occuR?and If it does Won't it happen

yes ofcos the problem is dat dudes of our generation are after sex only. Lust is the oda of the day

datguru:


Get your head examined, its not normal

na u get ur mouth

50calibre:


You're not in a relationship my friend, you're in a friendship.

I don't know how you formed this ridiculous opinion or belief, but it is pure hokum.

Nature can't be cheated, a girl who has no urge to sleep with you, has no feelings for you, even the slightest.

A woman can not love you completely till you've slept with her.

This is simple biology, se*x triggers a release of hormones like oxytocin in women, which creates a greater feeling of love & attachment, that's why it's called a bonding hormone. Guys possess a different hormone which triggers some other reactions not necessarily love-related hence you notice guys have no qualms smashing random girls, more so the one they love. If you're not like this, then you're not normal.

In a normal world, se*x is the glue that binds a relationship together, it forms the bedrock on which all other things are built.

that's ur opinion! Even when u have urges, self control amd abstinence counts

Rhapsodi:
. It actually depends I dnt know from what pespertive u are looking from wat I meant is wen u genuinely love her I mean GENUINELY love her nt because of her shape,boobs,booty or tins like dat den sex isn't an issue

Then the question is dis! Is genuine love move by emotions, and feelings! Am just trying to paint a fact that love is beyond those two tins! Am not saying it is not possible not to have sex wif uf gf until marriage! But emotions and feeling can't be dat reason! Ur decision and determination as a man shud be that reason!

Lemme get something straight. The poster is not talking about if its possible not to be intimate with who you love rather its about if its possible not to have the "desire" to have sex or blah blah blah.

Rhapsodi:
lol! Every one has his motives for been in a relationship from wat am seeing urs happen 2 be sex. Mine is beyond dat weda left over or not NOTE: we all have stories 2 tell (past)

u watch too much of nollywood and Bollywood . It's not all about sex. Atimes u ve to use d negative way to to make it straight

oloworulz:
u watch too much of nollywood and Bollywood . It's not all about sex. Atimes u ve to use d negative way to to make it straight

lol

olami100:


Then the question is dis! Is genuine love move by emotions, and feelings! Am just trying to paint a fact that love is beyond those two tins! Am not saying it is not possible not to have sex wif uf gf until marriage! But emotions and feeling can't be dat reason! Ur decision and determination as a man shud be that reason!

u've said it all

I don't just know y people won't face reality. Relaying and Repeating religious rhetoric posited by People they look up to, who most times cant tell u d whole truth about what practically goes on behind closed doors.No one is asking whether ur gonna act on it, they are asking if its possible to be in love with someone and not have sexual desire for them. They are not asking if ur gonna sleep with them, they are asking about the desire and feeling being present.Its impossible! Except some extraneous psychological factors are @ play. With Agape, or Natal, as per family,its possible,but not when ur in love! If so it ultimately means that U'd likely take sexual satisfaction elsewhere, where u have d sexual attraction. Controlling it though, isn't what's being discussed. Many who don't have sex, are controlling and managing the desire. If its assent...run! Else ur setting urself up for extra curricular activities in ur marriage, if u get there...lol!

Love is not selfish. When u truly love someone u would want to see them come up higher. u want to see their good and u know sex is in not way going to bring no good. I love my girlfriend for five years, never touched her. I didnt feel sexually attracted to her, but when she finally got admission, she dumped me.

Funny! Only possible when u re nt sexually attracted to d pesin or wen u jst like d person formally...but if u do love d lady or guy the urges to b intimate wit him ll definitely arise!!..gbam!!

izaray:
@Poster, dnt let any body deceive u, cos many people have been into a relationship,

dat involves sex, and still end up getting married.

Your prayers should be, God should lead you to d right person!

Tho, some guys can still love u and do without sex o,

but is very rare to get in dis century

Thank you brother. when God connects you with a true christian, it will be easy to love without sex in mind. though the thought will be flying through your mind as a result of some sexual hormones, but Holy spirit will help you.


I do tell people that to live a holy life is very easy in Christ.

Rhapsodi:
am not disputing your facts but when true love is involve true,Sex won't be a priority or an issue. Except if u were attracted by her shape,boobs,booty etc but when they love is genuine the story is different with respect 2 our human nature

You couldn't agree with me more that alotaf ppl have sexx with people they don't even "LIKE"... How much more with the person you love?

SEXXX is more like a reflex action and it's involuntary! Its always hard to resist it when the thoughts set in!

More importantly, people like to express their feelings via LOVE-MAKING.

kandiikane:


If I was in a relationship and the person doesn't find me sexually desirable then that's a huge problem.

"not having the desire to sleep with a person " is not the same as "not finding the person sexually desirable"

ratatis:


"not having the desire to sleep with a person " is not the same as "not finding the person sexually desirable"

If you love someone and don't have the desire to sleep with them, it means that you don't find them sexually desirable. Na friendzone things be that.
if you are attracted to someone your loins and mind naturally gets to work.

kandiikane:

If you love someone and don't have the desire to sleep with them, it means that you don't find them sexually desirable. Na friendzone things be that.
if you are attracted to someone your loins and mind naturally gets to work.

You're entitled to your opinion, Sir!
Personally, I feel not having the desire to eat, doesn't necessarily mean I don't find eating desirerable.

Some people can only experience lust, to them love does'nt exist. Others can only experience a mixture of love & lust. For them no one can experience love in solo. Still, others, like me, can & do experience love independent of lust & vice versa & sometimes the two overlap, in a demi-sexual mode. It all depends on the individual.

firstEVA:
Sex and love are two different things, you can have sex with someone u do not necessarily love, you can love someone you have not had sex with.

exactly!

ratatis:

You're entitled to your opinion, Sir!
Personally, I feel not having the desire to eat, doesn't necessarily mean I don't find eating desirerable.

You're saying the same thing bro!

""Not having a desire for something""... And..
""Not having something desirable""

Is literally the same thing!

If you don't have the desire to eat... In other words.
You don't have that food desirable!

Note..
Desirable/Desire is define as """"Wanted or wished for as being an attractive, useful,
or necessary course of action""""

foxxynik:


You're saying the same thing bro!

""Not having a desire for something""... And..
""Not having something desirable""

Is literally the same thing!

If you don't have the desire to eat... In other words.
You don't have that food desirable!

Note..
Desirable/Desire is define as """"Wanted or wished for as being an attractive, useful,
or necessary course of action""""

take your time & read our original sentences carefully. You've replaced your own words, without realizing.
You're only focused on the word "desirable". But a change of a single word in a sentence can change the entire meaning.
If I do not experience the desire to have sex with a woman, it does not necessarily mean, I do not FIND the woman SEXUALLY DESIRABLE.

ratatis:



exactly!

how are you?

firstEVA:
how are you?

Fine! thank you.
And how are you too?

ratatis:


Fine! thank you.
And how are you too?

it's strange you have no single thread to your credit.

ratatis:


take your time & read our original sentences carefully. You've replaced your own words, without realizing.
You're only focused on the word "desirable". But a change of a single word in a sentence can change the entire meaning.
If I do not experience the desire to have sex with a woman, it does not necessarily mean, I do not FIND the woman SEXUALLY DESIRABLE.

Am not laying off my focus on "desirable"
My focus is on the reiterated statement!
You're saying the same thing!

A person not sexually desirable to you...is the same thing as Not having the desire to have sex with that person!

Its English tho...
If you don't get my point... I'll have to cross my fingers!

firstEVA:
it's strange you have no single thread to your credit.

Didn't feel like opening one.
Would do so when the need arises.
Thanx for bothering to know.