BABE3:


Being size 8 doesn't mean she doesn't ration sex at home. Doesn't mean she's not a perpetual nag.

Healthy lifestyle is just one aspect of it.

Like I said, to expect an infidelity free home; we have to put in serious work. I see people saying "marriage shouldn't be endured but enjoyed", but they want the husband to endure all sort of nonsense.



We can't even compare something as basic as healthy lifestyle to financial instability. Apples and oranges. Not everyone can be rich. Everyone can be fit (except in rare cases).

damiso:

Of course marriage is complex which is why it is kinda simplistic to solely lay the blame for one person cheating on the person being cheated on.

Hygiene issues can be tackled..There are loads of women who have less than clean husbands but imagine telling a typical Nigerian inlaw I cheated on him cos of hygiene you are told to manage it.

So if you love someone you help them manage their inadequacies. Filthy people generally tend to show it at some point at courtship so I even think if it bothers you that much just don't marry her/him.

damiso:


But being rich is faaaar more important to some people than anything in this world which is they sought out to marry relative comfortability.People marry for different reasons and so if a lady marries for comfort why can she not look elsewhere if those needs are not being met. Note I am not begrudging men who expect fit wives he married size 8 wants highest size 10 even after 3 kids why should he put up with size 18?

Just saying based on that theory too we should not begrudge women who want relative financial security cos thats what they married and are not getting down the line too.

damiso:

But being rich is faaaar more important to some people than anything in this world which is they sought out to marry relative comfortability.

People marry for different reasons and so if a lady marries for comfort why can she not look elsewhere if those needs are not being met. Note I am not begrudging men who expect fit wives he married size 8 wants highest size 10 even after 3 kids why should he put up with size 18?

Just saying based on that theory too we should not begrudge women who want relative financial security cos thats what they married and are not getting down the line too.

coogar:


i didn't solely lay the blame on the wives of cheating husbands - i said most of the time, they are part of the problem. it's not even natural for a man to damn his marital bed & start following every chic in his environment. there must have been a root cause.

is he getting well-serviced, is the wifey keeping to her personal hygiene? does she make excuses not to have sex?(married women do this a lot especially when there's a minor argument). they use sėx as a tool to bargain for whatever.

how many husbands would take such?




a woman with a poor hygiene is 10 times worse than his male equivalent. lets not go into such details.



they don't show it.
there are deodorants & fragrances that mask such the putrescent odour they carry around them. on top of that, we are constantly told not to test-drive before signing our lives away......

we don't get to see the merchandise until the wedding night & then we realise all that glitters ain't gold. what's a man to do then? divorce? of course - cheating is the easier option for him then. if he perishes, then so be it.

coogar:


i agree - but it's still artificial.
no man would turn down an attractive woman for sex because she's poor. he would turn her down if she's dirty.



the thing is - men rarely complain.
he already knows what he would do. he only needs to mention it once or twice, if he doesn't see changes, he goes outside to seek what he wants.



if she wants relative financial security, she should go & work for money. she was trained academically like the man she's relying on to provide comfort - that's almost leeching.

however, asking a woman to stay healthy, take her hygiene seriously isn't leeching. it's ultimately for her own good. so don't compare financial security with body health issues. they are worlds apart!

damiso:

Haa Coogar you can spot a chic with hygiene issues by visiting her in her environment. Even if we dont test drive a very neat person who hygiene is a big issue for can spot some one kain dirty tendecies.

I don't have the power this night but my point is cheating can't be the solution to marital issues. some men cheat just because they feel they can not necessarily because of something the wife did or did not do. To them it's not having rice everyday (I hate that analogy ehn). Some won't even tell the wife the issues before deciding the best next thing is looking outside.We have had threads where men say my wife is doing this and that and I am thinking of getting a girlfriend. When asked have you even told her they enter voice mail.At least discuss and work with your spouse first before thinking of an alternative.

That said I agree that marriage is alot of work from both parties.

damiso:

Of course staying healthy is what everyone should want for their spouse. My issue is often this 'staying healthy' for their own good is borne out of a selfish 'this not how you looked when i married you' POV and not necessarily caring about their health.

If you care if it means telling horror stories of diabetes, cancer etc you will do it not saying I married size 8 go back to size 8 if you don't I will get a size 8 who appeals to me outside.

My husband had a very unhealthy habbit (energy drinks coffee rarely drank water) which had lil or no bearing on his looks or weight in this case he is still as slim as the day we met But I was always on his case because I care about his health in general and he has greatly reduced his intake of those beverages and drinks more water.

I agree with encouraging your spouse to look fit and stay healthy but some men don't talk about it from the health point of view but from a vain looks point of view.

coogar:


i agree - but it's still artificial.
no man would turn down an attractive woman for sex because she's poor. he would turn her down if she's dirty.



the thing is - men rarely complain.
he already knows what he would do. he only needs to mention it once or twice, if he doesn't see changes, he goes outside to seek what he wants.



if she wants relative financial security, she should go & work for money. she was trained academically like the man she's relying on to provide comfort - that's almost leeching.

however, asking a woman to stay healthy, take her hygiene seriously isn't leeching. it's ultimately for her own good. so don't compare financial security with body health issues. they are worlds apart!

greatgod2012:
Coogar and BABE, i really enjoy reading your opinions, but kindly give answers to alutacontinua question.


As far as i'm concerned, i mean personally, there is no any just reason for anyone to cheat on his/her spouse. If one of them errs, the best thing is for them to talk about it and together find solution to it, if the one that errs refuses, then, let the other party go for divorce instead of sleeping around and causing heartaches as well as swimming in STIs.
Abeg, i can't support infidelity at all.

rolled:
Cheating on your wife actually makes you love her more

greatgod2012:


you mean you love your wife to cheat on you as a sign of her love to you? Goodluck then!

greatgod2012:
Coogar and BABE, i really enjoy reading your opinions, but kindly give answers to alutacontinua question.


As far as i'm concerned, i mean personally, there is no any just reason for anyone to cheat on his/her spouse. If one of them errs, the best thing is for them to talk about it and together find solution to it, if the one that errs refuses, then, let the other party go for divorce instead of sleeping around and causing heartaches as well as swimming in STIs.
Abeg, i can't support infidelity at all.

coogar:


does poverty affect a man's erëction?
statistics will tell you that poor men are even the best in bed. he's too poor to afford fattening foods. he's superb in bed & he's ultra-fertile.

in other words, using money or material comfort as an excuse to leave one's hubby is quite lame. the men who go outside to seek greener pastures love their wives.....they want things to be the same as the courting days but they just cannot get an eréction for wifey - the spark has disappeared!

Farouksenior:


Bottom Line : add the fEar of God. [most dudes nd babes claim Godfearing durin courtship but after marriage...kabooom!!!!]

coogar:


na poverty mentality.
the kids who actually need the protein rarely get it. 12 chunks of beef in a pot - hubby & wife(both in their 40s) would eat 5 each.....the kids only get one apiece.

ask them why the kids don't get more than one, an african parent would tell you 2 pieces would spoil the child but the 5 pieces they took won't cause diabetes, stroke or heart attack? the problem in marital homes isn't spiritual.....it's sheer ignorance!

BABE3:


Being size 8 doesn't mean she doesn't ration sex at home. Doesn't mean she's not a perpetual nag.

Healthy lifestyle is just one aspect of it.

Like I said, to expect an infidelity free home; we have to put in serious work. I see people saying "marriage shouldn't be endured but enjoyed", but they want the husband to endure all sort of nonsense.



We can't even compare something as basic as healthy lifestyle to financial instability. Apples and oranges. Not everyone can be rich. Everyone can be fit (except in rare cases).

blueberryp:
I think this is the number one thing. The number one source of marital problems. Most people wwho claim to fear God donot truly fear him if not u wwill never justify adultery, fornication, stealing (u need to see people justifying that grandma dat stole her grandchild from her mother, I got shivers) and all sorts. Religion doesn't change people.

pickabeau1:



All sin is sin

According to Christian theology there should be no difference between adultery and fornication

Moreover the bible allows for divorce in the event of infidelity or adultery

More naija people should exercise that option like our counterparts in the West.

Too many cheating threads everywhere