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A friends story ( fiction ) by Braggante(m): 8:02pm On Oct 15, 2014
Learn from it, il write in first person narrative. So, this is how it happened today at the office. Nothing could have prepared anyone for such an eventuality.
Let me give you a brief history. I joined this office a few months ago, and I am relatively the newest employee in an office of seven auditors and five supporting staff. It’s a two room auditting firm; no don’t get that impression of some shack Audit office with hungry set auditors. This one makes sense. One is occupied by the Boss man himself, while the bigger other is just an open office. The employees have their tables round the office, in effect everybody is in everybody’s business. Also translating to no separate offices for the auditors from the clerks, secretaries and all.
Part of the supporting staff is this lady, although well aged in the firm, she is not an Auditor nonetheless. She is the secretary of the Principal partner; a position she has occupied for a long while now, and by virtue of that, she believes herself to be a personal assistant to the Boss. Indeed, I have heard her refer to herself like that numerous times on the phone. Hey, whatever works for her, right?
Part of the auditors is this one guy, recently made a Partner by the Boss man. And I tell you, meeting him you will wonder what the boss was thinking when he made him a partner. Perhaps because just like the boss man he's the only employee also from Benue. He was small and frail in structure, with a relatively larger head. The head sits on this lean chicken neck. Perhaps to hide his frailty, he wears big shirts, with fat ties. To go with that, he walks with his arms up as if he has boils under each arm pits. He’s a real fart, that one. I hear he used to be nice, that was before he got promoted for being the oldest one here. No one really respected him. He was lazy, bogus attitude with no interpersonal skills. He had a very queer sense of humor. True, he was intelligent, his leadership skills wasn’t worth being calling home about.
Part of the inhouse auditors also is me, a young handsome and intelligent chap who the ladies just can’t resist. Nah, I’m just playing. If you believed that, well I own Third Mainland Bridge as well.
Anyway, so this is me, sitting at a corner of the office, files open and papers scattered on my table and my cuffs folded. A cup of Nescafe Three in One steaming at an edge of the table. All this to look busy. It’s a quarter after nine and everyone was active. My table was directly beside the split Air Conditioner, hanging and blowing violently above my head. I reached in my drawer for the remote control. It wasn’t where I usually kept it. Somehow I got the inkling that the secretary had removed it. Her desk is farther from the Air Condition, and she has at numerous times complained of heat. I at such times complained of cold, and took the liberty of regulating the temperature suitable for all. Today, I was certain the remote thief was she.
Well, I walked to the socket and switched it off from the main. When it gets warmer, I’ll put it back on. Barely three minutes later, here came this woman, walking like she was in a race, towards the AC and switched it back on. I didn’t say a word. After three minutes, I switched it back off when the cold got unbearable. Almost immediately she darted here again, putting it back on.
The lean little boss saw the silent cold war. “Where is the remote” he asked with his falsetto deep voice, his arms on his desk, resting his hands on his laptop as if he was just interrupted from something other than browsing Nairaland during office hours with the screen brightness at its lowest so we won’t see. Well I did see.
“She removed it here and…” I was saying.
“I returned it to Mister Tunji” said she. Mr Tunji was the building maintenance officer, a Janitor if you will. “Because we are not supposed to have the AC in the first place, so I returned it,” she said.
How dare you, I thought. “Well then, we will have to switch this off until we can regulate the temperature,” I said, as a matter-of-factly.
She was saying something in response but I don’t remember, I just repeated myself, again like I meant it.
That was when the little boss rose to his feet. At this point all others had joined, posing questions at her. He walked over to the AC and put it on. I was silent now, typing something or nothing on my computer, fuming. I told her, “Whenever I get cold, I put it off. It’s as simple as that.”
The little boss stood by my desk, “Eze” he called as if that was just the magic word to calm me down instantly. “It’s okay,” said he.
It was funny because I knew what he was attempting to do: flex his muscles my way. And I wouldn’t stand for that. “No, it’s rubbish. Why would she remove the remote and…”
“Hey, watch your language,” he said. I wanted to smack that head off that skinny neck of his.
“It is rubbish. I can’t be freezing here just because someone is feeling warm down there. This is directly on my head and…”
“Don’t raise your voice at me.”
“I am not raising my voice at you, I am simply stating my position.” I tried as much as I could to calm myself and not to say something I might regret. But on this, here, now, I will speak. See since I joined this office I have been the meek and gentle guy. A friend once told me I had a bogus impression of myself, but what the hell, if you are not yet great you have no business being humble. There are times when you set the record straight when your path is crossed, else your humility will be seen as stupidity. I will have nothing of that.
“I said that’s enough. I don’t want to hear another word from you,” said he with a firm voice. Everyone was silent now. That was my opportunity.
That was my cue. Nobody will talk to me that way, especially not before women. What was I to do, recoil and keep mute just because some guy directed me to? Hell, this is a free country, and I had the right to bear my mind. This time, I increased the volume so he could hear me clearly. “If I ever get cold, I will put that shit off. And that…” I just kept talking, I don’t recollect what sense I made, but I did make some.
He stared at me, defeated. I’m sure he will have wished corporal punishment could be some sort of discipline in the office. I wish he had dared, I’d have beat the be-Jesus out of him. A slap or two and he’d be a-fainty.
He locked eyes with me, and I added a scowl to it. He nodded, like ‘I know what to do'.
My co-workers came to my desk to calm me down, and act the peacemakers. They all supported me. One even secretly handed me a shake of well done. I was proud. Yes that was me, I set the records straight. I won’t let anybody take me for a ride here.
That was three hours ago. Let’s fast forward to now; I’m at home now, my laptop open. My fiancé just called me; she has found a suitable hall for our engagement. “Beautiful”, I said. “I’ll come check it in the weekend.”

It will be a long week for me. I swallow what’s left in the Star bottle, and I fold my Letter of Dismissal back into its envelope. I hope to meet that fart someday on my street.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by seagullbabz(m): 8:25pm On Oct 15, 2014
Hehehehehe cheesy....sorry cry.... grin I don't know if to laugh, cry or shout... I think I made FTC right? Oga Seun that's the 2nd this month.... don't I deserve to become a MOD already?.

Bros as for the dismissal letter, no worry jare, go do your engagement, when hunger worry you, you go accept Cold room sef not to talk of AC...where me I dey find Fan for my office sef wey I no get, if I see AC I go dey thank God... Na joke I dey o, before my Oga go see this, come send me letter.

Nwaiz I will suggest you pick up story writing, your good innit than auditing... Btw what are u auditing sef?

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Braggante(m): 8:33pm On Oct 15, 2014
seagullbabz:
Hehehehehe cheesy....sorry cry.... grin I don't know if to laugh, cry or shout... I think I made FTC right? Oga Seun that's the 2nd this month.... don't I deserve to become a MOD already?.

Bros as for the dismissal letter, no worry jare, go do your engagement, when hunger worry you, you go accept Cold room sef not to talk of AC...where me I dey find Fan for my office sef wey I no get, if I see AC I go dey thank God... Na joke I dey o, before my Oga go see this, come send me letter.

Nwaiz I will suggest you pick up story writing, your good innit than auditing... Btw what are u auditing sef?

Lol. Thanks. No be small thing o!
About the writing, thanks il look into it.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Sleekbaby(f): 8:45pm On Oct 15, 2014
Hahahahahaha, ds s funny

1 Like

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 8:45pm On Oct 15, 2014
.

5 Likes

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by dayosaurus(m): 8:48pm On Oct 15, 2014
Shey na the overall boss sack you??
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by McWhillion(m): 8:49pm On Oct 15, 2014
The way you painted the story does not even allow for one to feel pity at the loss of your job. I like your outlook on life, you'll get a better job soon, I'm very sure of that.
Enjoy

2 Likes

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by chidiebere2020(m): 8:54pm On Oct 15, 2014
Welldone, but u would have use wisdom to follow it, I hope u knw that unemployment is high d little available one is taken man no man, I congratulate u 4 ur courag

1 Like

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Braggante(m): 8:55pm On Oct 15, 2014
dayosaurus:
Shey na the overall boss sack you??
Yes, the little dude prepared the sack, and the big boss okayed it.
Im avoiding stating their names, they read Nairaland too.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Braggante(m): 8:58pm On Oct 15, 2014
McWhillion:
The way you painted the story does not even allow for one to feel pity at the loss of your job. I like your outlook on life, you'll get a better job soon, I'm very sure of that.
Enjoy

Amen. Thank you...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Zehner(f): 8:59pm On Oct 15, 2014
Pele.... It is well my brother
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Braggante(m): 9:00pm On Oct 15, 2014
standd:
@Op, I really don't know why you have to keep switching off the AC when you could have simply increased the temperature( To reduce the cold and also to ensure that other people don't get hot)
Cos your narration clearly shows that you are not at fault AND the secretary is not at fault too.
The long and short of this story is that you do not like the secretary. You wouldn't have reacted the same way if someone else took the remote.
Again, irrelevant issues like this should not cost you a job. A lot of people are out there praying for jobs oh! Not losing the one they have.
Anyway, wish you better luck next time. And nice write up btw smiley

I was not against regulating the AC, I always did that before she just took the remote and hid it. Anyways I don't want to cry over spilt beers. Make I sha no catch any of them for my area.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 9:01pm On Oct 15, 2014
why are you wasting your time in an audit firm, you would obviously make a good blogger. tongue sorry about the loss of your job though
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 9:01pm On Oct 15, 2014
Looool. O boy drink your star jare. By the way, abeg drop the company name make men apply. One sure vacancy don de there.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by singlefade25(f): 9:18pm On Oct 15, 2014
I think I knw u, I think I knw your office. Is that d reason 4 ur dismissal? All is well bro.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 9:21pm On Oct 15, 2014
.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by ednut1(m): 9:27pm On Oct 15, 2014
a very creative writer. shack 5 bottles
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Taiw(m): 9:39pm On Oct 15, 2014
Pride goes before a fall. I want to believe you immediately got this job after your nysc cos if you don stay long 4 house,u 4 don pocket your pride

12 Likes

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by adegwurulez(m): 10:02pm On Oct 15, 2014
Haha... I like the way you write, makes me want to visit the lit section. Btw, did you say the two men are from benue?
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 10:07pm On Oct 15, 2014
What would it have cost you to ask instead of being so selfish. of everyone agrees with you, fine, if they don't, get a sweater. that place is overcongested, an AC is necessary there but not to inconvenience anyone, just to make it all easier to bear.
I think you're selfish cos you didn't ask, everyone might have agreed with you and it would be sorted out amicably

5 Likes

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by iyisco2001(m): 10:18pm On Oct 15, 2014
we don see you already, tomorrow morning, you and CEO, you need to talk grin
seagullbabz:
Hehehehehe cheesy....sorry cry.... grin I don't know if to laugh, cry or shout... I think I made FTC right? Oga Seun that's the 2nd this month.... don't I deserve to become a MOD already?.

Bros as for the dismissal letter, no worry jare, go do your engagement, when hunger worry you, you go accept Cold room sef not to talk of AC...where me I dey find Fan for my office sef wey I no get, if I see AC I go dey thank God... Na joke I dey o, before my Oga go see this, come send me letter.

Nwaiz I will suggest you pick up story writing, your good innit than auditing... Btw what are u auditing sef?

1 Like

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by kaboninc(m): 10:23pm On Oct 15, 2014
This is what you get when you work in a company owned by one man, controlled by one man. Every decision or instruction must either come from him or be vetted by him.

Worse is when you're having a problem, or beaf, real or imagined with a female colleague who is in the 'lovers' book of the boss. The boss never sees anything wrong in what his puppets do but the day you stand against his policies, question his actions or even make a comment/suggestion that is not in line with his, then your judgement has just begun.

Am a living witness. Though them never fire me. For the op, believe it or not, worse things happen than your case.

Modified this post so I can mention standd ....
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 10:35pm On Oct 15, 2014
I. Had the same xperience u are the man op let the God dam job go. Or else u wld continue to be humilated.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Mention(m): 10:51pm On Oct 15, 2014
Eyaaa
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by oluwanoni: 10:54pm On Oct 15, 2014
@op....sorry to say, u have very stewpid...those wey dey praise u, no fit do am for their work place.....Naija youths we cant be humble, people have or have had worse bosses.

I hope your story is not true tho, bcus if i be ur friend the slap wey i go tear u, go auto correct ur thinking. tongue

Guy u have a long way to go....your Attitude determines ur Altitude!!!!

3 Likes

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Ghost01(m): 11:00pm On Oct 15, 2014
Beautiful write-up. So sorry for your job loss. And thanks for making me laugh. Your outlook to life is simply amazing, if this piece is anything to go by. Lolz grin
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 11:03pm On Oct 15, 2014
So na AC make u lose ur job. Ogaa o
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by AdekunleIG(m): 11:04pm On Oct 15, 2014
Oooo Eze I don't know you can write like this!
Meet me at the office tomorrow to collect your resumption letter.













Signed
Your Oga from Benue.
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by chyna4luv: 11:08pm On Oct 15, 2014
Oooop, I'm sorry to say that you lack "WORK ETIQUETTE". You're not even quiet than I am, yet I had serious issues with one of my co-workers and it was solved between us whereby, our boss didn't even hear about it.
Findout what constitutes work etiquette before you land a new. It will help you to know how to handle such situation when it arises. Okay?
Anyways, God will provide another job for you.

#IAmSigningOutNow

1 Like

Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 11:23pm On Oct 15, 2014
Next time do a detailed memo to the principal partner or whoever the overall boss is then resign if nothing tangible is done however, there are ways you can still make money from this situation.

What's their level of compliance with things like staff pension contribution, accurate deduction and remittance of paye, nsitf and others .

Were you paid in leu of the notice abi you just collect the letter waka comot .

Are you chatered yet .
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Hussyk: 11:46pm On Oct 15, 2014
Bros....job no dey oo. except you already have wat it takes to be independent.
Then about the AC...i wasnt there oo....buh i knw loosing your job cos of AC no be better thing to dey talk

Goodluck !
Re: A friends story ( fiction ) by Nobody: 11:59pm On Oct 15, 2014
Private companies and their wahala.
Sorry

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