My cousin called me ds morning n complained bitterly about her husband n she needs help...Here is her story. She is in dire need of answer to this dilemma. She is so confused right now and sometimes she cries as a result of ill treatment from her one-time-beloved husband.
She is a 27yrs old lady. She got married to the joy of her heart recently. He is a handsome young man. Her marriage to him is only 7months old. Her husband used to be an Angel, but recently, things had changed. Firstly, he keeps late night with his male and few female friends and clubs a lot. He would leave d house by 6pm only for him to return by 12midnight. Yet, her wonderful husband sees nothing wrong in that.
Secondly, he still calls and chats with his past girlfriends, when she complain, he calls her a jealous wife. Imagine, he woke up 2 nights ago and started chatting with one of his girlfriends from 3am up to 5am, when she asked him who he was chatting with, he said it was one of his male friends, she knew that was a very big lie. He even brings some of them home and continues the chat with them. Only God knows what is on his mind.
Thirdly, he makes friends with all his neighbours including a single mother of 3boys. This single mother once told her husband that she needs a female child, now I'm wondering how that will be possible for her without a husband. Her husband goes into her apartment to chat her up and I'm scared of this new development.
Fourthly, her husband do not assist her with house chores even when he knows that she is almost 7months pregnant. She clean the house, cooks for him, washes his clothes in her condition while all he does is sit down and chat. Is that what a caring man is supposed to do? She does everything as regards house keeping while he does nothing, yet we both work
Again, she started working last month and when her salary came, this same husband of hers asked her to give him a particular amount which she did, so that he can add his own money to it so that they can both save it in one account that himself alone is a sole signatory to. He claims that the money will be used to buy a car for both of them. I doubt this because my mind tells me that if eventually, d car is bought, he will start using it to carry his numerous girlfriends. I prefer to save that same amount on my own, but he refused.
His male friends drags him out to bar n they make him pay for the numerous bottles they consume, yet her husband sees nothing wrong with it. She has complained about all these to him, but he does not seem to understand, he does not seem to care or love her anymore, what should she do my NL friends?. Please advice her like u would advice your sister, no insults pls. Thanks, ds post has been modified.

eyah

I bet he had all these characters in him before you married him. Anyway, you are now married.

My 2 cents:
1. Be very patient
2. Communicate your observations to him in a mature manner
3. Don't nag.
4. If you see no changes after communicating, seek out those he respects such as his pastor or parents.
5. Pray, Pray and Pray more.
6. God help you.

Hmmm...this one is strong. Well, the milk has already been spilt, so, there is no need crying over it. The mistake u prolly made was rushing in2 marriage withsomeone u rarely knew. The signs were definitely there, you just chose to ignore them.

That said, I think the two of you should sit down and have a heart to heart. Remind him how loving and caring he used to be and how he is hurting you with his actions. Remind him of the man he used to be and how much you love him.

Some men are usually like that when their woman is pregnant. It is more pronounced if they probably were only in love with your body.

But above all, pray hard about it. Cry to God and if that marriage wasn't His will, start getting ready for life without your hubby.

eyah....sorry dear...wat more can i say...ladies in d house,ova to u

I will adive you to tell Lindaikeji

For how long did u date this guy ?....did u take ur time to find out who he really is b4 marrying him or did u jst get carried away by his fine boism ?....answer this questions truthfully cos therein probably lies d answers to which u seek !

He was once an Angel.

That's good............

The Angels that have been on this earth are always on mission.

They are not of this world, they are from above.

The Angelic nature of your husband has completed its mission and gone back to heaven.

You are now married to a Nigerian man.

radicalove:
I am in dire need of answer to this dilemma. I'm so confused right now and sometimes I cry as a result of ill treatment from my one-time-beloved husband.
I am a 27yrs old lady. I got married to the joy of my heart recently. He is a handsome young man that most ladies would love to be with. My marriage to him is only 7months old. My husband used to be an Angel, but recently, things had changed. Firstly, he keeps late night with his male and few female friends and clubs a lot. He would leave d house by 6pm only for him to return by 12midnight. Yet, my wonderful husband sees nothing wrong in that.
Secondly, he still calls and chats with his past girlfriends, when I complain, he calls me a jealous wife. Imagine, he woke up 2 nights ago and started chatting with one of his girlfriend from 3am up to 5am, when I asked him who he was chatting with, he said it was one of his male friends, I know that was a very big lie. He even brings some of them home and continues the chat with them. Only God knows what is on his mind.
Thirdly, my husband makes friends with all his neighbours including a single mother of 3boys. This single mother once told my husband that she needs a female child, now I'm wondering how that will be possible for her without a husband. My husband goes into her apartment to chat her up and I'm scared of this new development.
Fourthly, my husband do not assist me with house chores even when he knows dt I'm almost 7months pregnant. I clean the house, cooks for him, wash his clothes in my condition while all he does is sit down and chat. Is that what a caring man is supposed to do? I do everything while he does nothing, yet we both work
Again, I started working last month and when my salary came, this same husband of mine asked me to give him a particular amount of more than 50k which I did, so that he can add his own money to it so that we can both save it in one account that himself alone is a sole signatory to. He claims that the money will be used to buy a car for us. I doubt this because my mind tells me that if eventually, d car is bought, he will start using it to carry his numerous girlfriends. I prefer to save that same amount on my own, but he refused.
His male friends drags him out to bar n they make him pay for the numerous bottles they consume, yet my husband sees nothing wrong with it. I'v complained about all these to him, but he does not seem to understand, he does not seem to care or love me anymore, what do I do my NL friends?. Please advice me like u would advice your sister, no insults pls

radicalove:
I need help from mums who might have solutions to my problem, including Doctors with medical advise for me! I am a new mum to a baby of less than 2 weeks old. It took 4 days before breastmilk started flowing after delivery, during which nurses advised me to give her glucose n baby formular. After 4 days, breastmilk started flowing, but it was not flowing much n when my baby tries to suckle, she gets frustrated because it does nt flow as much as d milk from d feeder flows. Each time I try to breastfeed her, she drags n pushes d breast away n after much petting, she will manage to suckle little n she will not stop crying until a feeding bottle wt baby formular is placed in her mouth, I'm not happy about d situatn. I actually planned to do 6months Exclusive breastfeeding for my baby, but it seems my plan is falling apart. Peeps, is ds normal? Wht do I doI need advise pls.

@ bolded, Are you still pregnant or you have a baby now?

babygirlfl:




@ bolded, Are you still pregnant or you have a baby now?

I am so certain that the op got married because she got pregnant,and did not really know her husband that well.

Well,let her answer the question and take it from there.

1.Communicate with him.
2.Go to those he respects.
3.Pray,pray and pray

radicalove:
I am in dire need of answer to this dilemma. I'm so confused right now and sometimes I cry as a result of ill treatment from my one-time-beloved husband.
I am a 27yrs old lady. I got married to the joy of my heart recently. He is a handsome young man that most ladies would love to be with. My marriage to him is only 7months old. My husband used to be an Angel, but recently, things had changed. Firstly, he keeps late night with his male and few female friends and clubs a lot. He would leave d house by 6pm only for him to return by 12midnight. Yet, my wonderful husband sees nothing wrong in that.
Secondly, he still calls and chats with his past girlfriends, when I complain, he calls me a jealous wife. Imagine, he woke up 2 nights ago and started chatting with one of his girlfriend from 3am up to 5am, when I asked him who he was chatting with, he said it was one of his male friends, I know that was a very big lie. He even brings some of them home and continues the chat with them. Only God knows what is on his mind.
Thirdly, my husband makes friends with all his neighbours including a single mother of 3boys. This single mother once told my husband that she needs a female child, now I'm wondering how that will be possible for her without a husband. My husband goes into her apartment to chat her up and I'm scared of this new development.
Fourthly, my husband do not assist me with house chores even when he knows dt I'm almost 7months pregnant. I clean the house, cooks for him, wash his clothes in my condition while all he does is sit down and chat. Is that what a caring man is supposed to do? I do everything while he does nothing, yet we both work
Again, I started working last month and when my salary came, this same husband of mine asked me to give him a particular amount of more than 50k which I did, so that he can add his own money to it so that we can both save it in one account that himself alone is a sole signatory to. He claims that the money will be used to buy a car for us. I doubt this because my mind tells me that if eventually, d car is bought, he will start using it to carry his numerous girlfriends. I prefer to save that same amount on my own, but he refused.
His male friends drags him out to bar n they make him pay for the numerous bottles they consume, yet my husband sees nothing wrong with it. I'v complained about all these to him, but he does not seem to understand, he does not seem to care or love me anymore, what do I do my NL friends?. Please advice me like u would advice your sister, no insults pls

Assuming this post is authentic (I still fail to see how a seven month pregnant woman will be nursing a 2 week old baby), I find it hard to believe that one person - your fairly new husband - will be riddled with so many flaws.

You've gone to great lengths to paint him as a devil, while you're the all-suffering saint. Why?

Yeye dey smell...

Which normal guy enjoys chatting?

Your husband was never an angel, I hate bullsh1t like this.

Someone at his age cannot change his lifestyle overnight except he is suffering from depression or a tragic incident happened after he got married to you, and this is his way of dealing with it.

Your husband has always been a drinker and a clubber. He has always been careless with money. Stop bullsh1ting us madam. Before you got married, how come you guys never discussed finances or his roles as your husband??

You married the typical irresponsible Nigerian man that thinks household chores is the sole responsibility of his wife, why are you now pretending that you are surprised?? Again, stop bullshyting us.

Why do you want to nag the young man to death? Biko, do not change him. If you don't like him the way he is, pack your bags and leave.

If you want to retain your marital status, then be ready to sharpen up. It's time you play smart and start making decisions for you and your child. If you like yourself, go to the doctor for temporal birth control options and make sure you do not get pregnant again.

Forget that N50,000 in the savings account, you and I both know he has squandered the money. You have to take charge of the little money you have and start saving up. Do not quit your job, start a business on the side.

No man is indispensable! Make sure he uses condoms with you. In fact, buy him condoms too so he can use it on all the women he sleeps with.

You husband does not respect you. How did you let that skip your observing eyes during your courting years? This your dilemma is afowofa

EfemenaXY:


Assuming this post is authentic (I still fail to see how a seven month pregnant woman will be nursing a 2 week old baby), I find it hard to believe that one person - your fairly new husband - will be riddled with so many flaws.

You've gone to great lengths to paint him as a devil, while you're the all-suffering saint. Why?

Yeye dey smell...

my thoughts too

You said you married the kind of man everylady wishes for. Handsome and rich ryt?. You married for looks and money and fake story book care he was showing as a playboy. Enjoy your marriage well well. I dont like foolish people

Sorry,nobody can b an angel and suddenly change into a demon. U can't say u neva knew abt some of his character b4,u just chose to ignore it. Some guys are wicked, since u av married him,continue 2 b a good wife not a mugu and pray 4 him. God can change anybody.

lakamua:
You said you married the kind of man everylady wishes for. Handsome and rich ryt?. You married for looks and money and fake story book care he was showing as a playboy. Enjoy your marriage well well. I dont like foolish people

edwife:


I am so certain that the op got married because she got pregnant,and did not really know her husband that well.

Well,let her answer the question and take it from there.

i won't be surprised if this story is another fiction clawed out of the arsë of a baboon by one of those attention-seeking feminist wannabes.

so many inconsistencies......

•mother of a newborn + 7 months preggers
•rich/handsome + borrowed 50k/no car.

arrant nonsense!!!!

Madam, u r already in d marriage, communicate and pray. Be smart too, dt ur salary is funding his lifestyle. Think of an excuse not to give him the money. Condoms! Insist on condoms. Then after this baby, contraceptive is d way forward till u somehow sort out your problems. U wouldn't want to bring another child into this situation u are in.

Please if an advice is to be given let's give it well, its not fair if someone comes to u 4 an advice and u say sometin that will add more salt to injuries haba......nobody is 100% wise abeg, so pls op just pray to God for the spirit to convince him to change,a change is what he needs ryt now, and 1 more-pls ask him what did you do to him,he should state 3 reasons for the alien actions lately

coogar:


i won't be surprised if this story is another fiction clawed out of the arsë of a baboon by one of those attention-seeking feminist wannabes.

so many inconsistencies......

•mother of a newborn + 7 months preggers
•rich/handsome + borrowed 50k/no car.

arrant nonsense!!!!

You right but reading her previous posts,i feel the story might have some atom of truth in it or she just not telling us the real deal.

But if she is really bluffing then it is quite unfortunate.I really don't know what they gain in all these men bashing threads.......

edwife:

I really don't know what they gain in all these men bashing threads.......

I'm new to this section. Has a feminist ever created a false story to bash men in the past?

sexyseun:
I will adive you to tell Lindaikeji

\


What will linda do?? Is she married to understand the pains of this woman??

BananaBender:


I'm new to this section. Has a feminist ever created a false story to bash men in the past?

First of all,i do not recall coming across one feminist.

Secondly,i would love to know who they are and how many we have in family section .....

edwife:


First of all,i do not recall coming across one feminist.

Secondly,i would love to know who they are and how many we have in family section .....

LMAO!


I was just wondering where you got the idea that a feminist would create a man bashing thread??


You just did Nice to meet you too

BananaBender:


LMAO!


I was just wondering where you got the idea that a feminist would create a man bashing thread??


You just did Nice to meet you too

I don't usually do this back and forth but i can't recall saying that feminists create men bashing threads,rather i was talking about ladies who create them because as far as i am concerned I really don't give a toss if there are feminists around.

The word feminist is strange to me

Nice meeting you too mademoiselle.

coogar:


i won't be surprised if this story is another fiction clawed out of the arsë of a baboon by one of those attention-seeking feminist wannabes.

so many inconsistencies......

•mother of a newborn + 7 months preggers
•rich/handsome + borrowed 50k/no car.

arrant nonsense!!!!

tnx,am wondering too,she has a two weeks baby in september and now she is seven month pregnant.

coogar:


i won't be surprised if this story is another fiction clawed out of the arsë of a baboon by one of those attention-seeking feminist wannabes.

so many inconsistencies......

•mother of a newborn + 7 months preggers
•rich/handsome + borrowed 50k/no car.

arrant nonsense!!!!

tnx,am wondering too,she has a two weeks baby in september and now she is seven month pregnant.nawa

edwife:


I don't usually do this back and forth but i can't recall saying that feminist create men bashing threads,rather i was talking about ladies who create them because as far as i am concerned I really don't give a toss if there are feminist around.

The word feminist is strange to me

Nice meeting you too mademoiselle.

Ok then. I must have misinterpreted your comment.

I guess after today, it (the word 'feminist') would no longer be strange to you

Tallesty1:
He was once an Angel.
That's good............
The Angels that have been on this earth are always on mission.
They are not of this world, they are from above.
The Angelic nature of your husband has completed its mission and gone back to heaven.
You are now married to a Nigerian man.

Bunsky:
tnx,am wondering too,she has a two weeks baby in september and now she is seven month pregnant.nawa

Maybe, "she" meant to say that she's got a 7 month old baby and is two weeks pregnant?

Where is "she" anyway? She needs to come clear the air if "she" really needs help with her predicament.