I don't get how the lady isn't directing her anger on her sister but her sisters husband. that should be the case here.

So here, pple always except some folks to comment in a particular manner?
I noticed that in my other account(one of d reason I cleaned it up)
No freedom of expression anymore cos u want to maintain an image?

Ok o.

@topic, poster, I stopd reading when u said in ur place, its a taboo for a man to do house chores. I can't read beyond that abeg.

And those shouting feminism, pls wake up!
When u marry, kill ur wife with work cos u wanna prove u r a man or better still arrange for an infact as housemaid that can be a side chick when madam looks d other way.

And how can nigeria become a developed country with cave man mentality everywhere.

Never one to encourage buttlicking.
Kudos.


@Thread:
It's pathetic really that some people can't drop their opinions without first of all making xtupid predictions about what coming posters are likely to post.
Even more pathetic is it that they usually have no opinions at all or any scrap of advice for the affected person/s if not to stand around and pick apart other people's posts.

I wonder if all that rigmarole on the first page was to prevent out spoken people from posting their candid opinions about the issue.

As usual the F word comes into play for absolutely no reason. I wonder how little minded some people are. Why all these virtuous women won't go and wash all the clothes of all the male relatives in their lineage and stop disturbing us with things like this is beyond me.

aisha2:
I am trying to understand why i was mentioned and what this has to do with feminsim.
A typical explotative couple brought in a relative under the guise of training her and have frustrated and she is lashing out.
What is wrong with a father who has free time caring for his own children?
My husband helps out and will never dump all the work on a relative mine or his

cococandy:
Never one to encourage buttlicking.
Kudos.


@Thread:
It's pathetic really that some people can't drop their opinions without first of all making xtupid predictions about what coming posters are likely to post.
Even more pathetic is it that they ususally have no opinions at all or any scrap of advice for the affected person/s if not to stand around and pick apart other people's posts.

I wonder if all that rigmarole on the first page was to prevent out spoken people from posting their candid opinions about the issue.

As usual the F word comes into play for absolutely no reason. I wonder how little minded some people are. Why all these virtuous women won't go and wash all the clothes of all the male relatives in their lineage and stop disturbing us with things like this is beyond me.

your first comment on this thread started you off as a neutral observer who feels both parties' pains, now you are shifting towards dislike for comments who reason in line with the man. Very soon, you'll let us know how much you hate the man and MEN. yuck yuck yuck @topic. As long as the man still provides for his family and not in a lesser manner, I'll see no reason why he should be saddled with house chores. Who among you won't mind having your husband as the housemaid just cos he lost his job? Oh, the feminists. House chores might dumb the man down. Imagine him waking up early in the morning to sweep the big house and wash the dishes while his male counterparts and wife are on their way to work. It will be a huge shame to a virtuous woman as her neighbors will make mockery of her. He ought to be on the streets looking for a new job. Perhaps, he's scheming in his bedroom on how to float a business of his. I think the girl is not appreciative enough even after their enrolling her in a school, paid for her acquisition of skills and even got her a job. Perhaps, she now feels since the man is the jobless one, he should take chore responsibility. I understand the work might be too much for her but wanting the husband to chip in while the sister is there, without informing her is were she got it wrong. You can't order a man under his own roof.

Oh my oh my, I think my comprehension skill is kinda rusty, can someone please highlight where in the post the husband demanded his clothes be washed by this lady?

You're 26 yet I house you, feed you, cloth you and i'm even responsible for paying your tuition and I helped u get a job, even now that I got no job, i'm still doing my own part and you think its too much for me to ask you to wash my clothes?, I swear this man is too generous.

And yeah this isnt about feminism but its a good topic for feminists to feast on and y'all never disappoints.

Why is nobody talking about this lady's sister who according to the post also does nothing in the house since this lady claim to do everything?, oh women always do no wrong. Keep bashing the man.

Talon05:
Oh my oh my, I think my comprehension skill is kinda rusty, can someone please highlight where in the post the husband demanded his clothes be washed by this lady?

the feminists chipped it in so they can have a flimsy excuse to bash men.

Talon05:
You're 26 yet I house you, feed you, cloth you and i'm even responsible for paying your tuition and I helped u get a job, even now that I got no job, i'm still doing my own part and you think its too much for me to ask you to wash my clothes?, I swear this man is too generous.

I don't too subscribe to the washing his clothes part, but if he demands it, she should take whatever objection to her lazy sister.

Talon05:
And yeah this isnt about feminism but its a good topic for feminists to feast on and y'all never disappoints.

They are internet feminists; more like a scary paper tiger.

Talon05:
Why is nobody talking about this lady's sister who according to the post also does nothing in the house since this lady claim to do everything?, oh women always do no wrong. Keep bashing the man.

don't mind the MAN-haters who won't mind having their husband as their houseboy.

cococandy:
Never one to encourage buttlicking.
Kudos.
@Thread:
It's pathetic really that some people can't drop their opinions without first of all making xtupid predictions about what coming posters are likely to post.
Even more pathetic is it that they ususally have no opinions at all or any scrap of advice for the affected person/s if not to stand around and pick apart other people's posts.
I wonder if all that rigmarole on the first page was to prevent out spoken people from posting their candid opinions about the issue.
As usual the F word comes into play for absolutely no reason. I wonder how little minded some people are. Why all these virtuous women won't go and wash all the clothes of all the male relatives in their lineage and stop disturbing us with things like this is beyond me.

Would you blame them. Funnily, those are the types who would use their maids as slave. what denigration!

@Talon05 thanks for removing my name,this is NL.You don't just know.
As for me,i did not beg for any name dropping and i always say my mind without following the wagon;not looking for likes either.They pay me ni

PLease Talon05 delete my post in your mention,this is about to escalate to something else.
Not cut out for that.

TribalEAST:
the feminists chipped it in so they can have a flimsy excuse to bash men.

I don't too subscribe to the washing his clothes part, but if he demands it, she should take whatever objection to her lazy sister.


They are internet feminists; more like a scary paper tiger.
don't mind the MAN-haters who won't mind having their husband as their houseboy.

Brotha, i'm one for live and let live but they trying to force their opinion on every lady is what annoys me. Let a lady have a differing opinion to theirs and they gang up making denigrating remarks towards such person. It's appalling and crippingly disheartening.

At 26, the girl should be making efforts to live on her own and provide for herself

As for the housechores and her sisters hubby doing them or lack of them, is none of her business. She is not married to the sisters husband. If the housechores are too much for her, then she has a chat with her sister about it and her sister needs to work something out

The sister is stupid for allowing anyone to disrespect her husband and not closing down the gaps before they got out of hand to the point that the sister disrespected her husband and her husband chased her own sister out. How did it get to that extent?

Back to the issue of men and housechores, not all size fits all. Some men dont mind doing housechores and were brought up like that. Any man who lived under my mums roof can cook like a chef and can clean. No man who grew up in our household will be waiting on a wife to cook for him if he is hungry and she is not around.

I have also heard of households where boys are allowed to play ball outside where only the girls in the family go to the kitchen to cook. They even pack the plates and wash them after their brothers have finished eating.
These are the men who eventually get tied down by pregnancy by one fast chick who used to come and wash their clothes and cook soup for them becasue they are useless in looking after themselves.

edwife:
@Talon05 thanks for removing my name,this is NL.You don't just know.
As for me,i did not beg for any name dropping and i always say my mind without following the wagon;not looking for likes either.They pay me ni

PLease Talon05 delete my post in your mention,this is about to escalate to something else.
Not cut out for that.

Seriously I feel bad for dragging you into this. Dont ever stop being objective ma'am.

Fxwarrior:


Hit her? I volunteer myself to defend her. Let the whole Nairaland come. Am ready.

Brotha, if you can, kindly help me delete the names I mentioned in that post. Thanks

When I say Nigeria is filled with wickedness , you think I'm joking.
Poor thing, because she got scholarship from the man, she will do all house chores and even wash the mans underwears without a washing machine .
Anyway, my take on this .
1. Most Nigerians take Sh1t everyday in their place of work. The scholarship girl should get a glove , wear it while washing the mans odowa. Do as Much as she can, learn her tailoring and try and settle in her own place . Right now, she is a glorified househelp and no one can take that away. Even the sister . Her focus should remain on the final price she has to get while not forgetting her values in life. Poor thing .
2. As for informing the man to help out, she should have discussed with her sister first. its her sisters responsibility to ask for such not her. There is an organogram to follow here.
3. The mans good work is being painted black because he is actually using her as a slave . If this woman survived this now, and become homeowner tomorrow, it's either she continues the wickedness to someone else or do the right thing . Which is help if you want to help while not subjecting your host to unfavorable conditions .

Very evil society.

Meanwhile at Op, Why are you mentioning and wondering how the parents of the said girl train their children. From your write up, I'm not sure you are better off.

And btw, congratulations on your marriage, you announced to us here you were getting married, announced it has been cancelled but forget to announced another has come . Abi na Lagos marriage style you don settle .

Happy week day everyone

moca:
So here, pple always except some folks to comment in a particular manner?
I noticed that in my other account(one of d reason I cleaned it up)
No freedom of expression anymore cos u want to maintain an image?

Ok o.

@topic, poster, I stopd reading when u said in ur place, its a taboo for a man to do house chores. I can't read beyond that abeg.


And those shouting feminism, pls wake up!
When u marry, kill ur wife with work cos u wanna prove u r a man or better still arrange for an infact as housemaid that can be a side chick when madam looks d other way.

And how can nigeria become a developed country with cave man mentality everywhere.

It seems most people didn't do English comprehension in school. OP didn't say men don't do house chores. She simply didn't buy the idea they should be compelled or cajoled into it.

To be sincere I see op as a humble and sweet lady and wouldn't mind cooking for her or helping out to ease her stress. Her kind would make me be a better person.

The way you behave towards a man will either make him shut you off or draw him to you. I must confess am drawn to her with her attitude.

chaircover:
At 26, the girl should be making efforts to live on her own and provide for herself

As for the housechores and her sisters hubby doing them or lack of them, is none of her business. She is not married to the sisters husband. If the housechores are too much for her, then she has a chat with her sister about it and her sister needs to work something out

The sister is stupid for allowing anyone to disrespect her husband and not closing down the gaps before they got out of hand to the point that the sister disrespected her husband and her husband chased her own sister out. How did it get to that extent?

Back to the issue of men and housechores, not all size fits all. Some men dont mind doing housechores and were brought up like that. Any man who lived under my mums roof can cook like a chef and can clean. No man who grew up in our household will be waiting on a wife to cook for him if he is hungry and she is not around.

I have also heard of households where boys are allowed to play ball outside where only the girls in the family go to the kitchen to cook. They even pack the plates and wash them after their brothers have finished eating.
These are the men who eventually get tied down by pregnancy by one fast chick who used to come and wash their clothes and cook soup for them becasue they are useless in looking after themselves.

one thing I dislike about you modern day girls is that you think boys don't even do any chore at home. I'll advice you to step outside your house and interview boys to find out what seems like a mystery to you. No need, cos your family is a subset. I find it annoying the way you all hype this kitchen work as if it goes beyond cooking. In most families, last borns are usually the dish washers. I was a last born who washed dishes before I gained admission into the university. I even washed dishes in a relative's house that had a female, cos I was the youngest.

TribalEAST:
one thing I dislike about you modern day girls is that you think boys don't even do any chore at home. I'll advice you to step outside your house and interview boys to find out what seems like a mystery to you. No need, cos your family is a subset. I find it annoying the way you all hype this kitchen work as if it goes beyond cooking. In most families, last borns are usually the dish washers. I was a last born who washed dishes before I gained admission into the university. I even washed dishes in a relative's house that had a female, cos I was the youngest.

Chillisauce:
When I say Nigeria is filled with wickedness , you think I'm joking.
Poor thing, because she got scholarship from the man, she will do all house chores and even wash the mans underwears without a washing machine .
Anyway, my take on this .
1. Most Nigerians take Sh1t everyday in their place of work. The scholarship girl should get a glove , wear it while washing the mans odowa. Do as Much as she can, learn her tailoring and try and settle in her own place . Right now, she is a glorified househelp and no one can take that away. Even the sister . Her focus should remain on the final price she has to get while not forgetting her values in life. Poor thing .
2. As for informing the man to help out, she should have discussed with her sister first. its her sisters responsibility to ask for such not her. There is an organogram to follow here.
3. The mans good work is being painted black because he is actually using her as a slave . If this woman survived this now, and become homeowner tomorrow, it's either she continues the wickedness to someone else or do the right thing . Which is help if you want to help while not subjecting your host to unfavorable conditions .

Very evil society.

the man is not the one subjecting her to slavery but her own sister. I don't think the man demanded all the effort she puts in. I believe the wife must have assigned her own duties to her sister due to lazy and female wickedness. Perhaps, she believes since they are assisting her that much, then she ought to slave for them. The man might not know she washes for him thinking it's his wife that does it. If he knew and didn't stop it, then I blame him. But I think the wife could have restrained him, claiming the affair was between she and her sweet and willing to help sister. The man had every right to throw her out of his house for being challenged by her. The wife now has 2 problems to deal with: doing the chores and trying to win back a sister's love. As for the lady, she needs to bury her pride and return or be on her on to face the consequences.

Nairaland o
Chai
Na wai
My own sister wash my huzzy clothes kwa!
Wetin do external help
Na wa!
Abeg the topic is misleading Op change it pls

Well people are different oo and I guess some of us aren't placing ourselves in each of thems shoes
1)for the sister brought in what I would say is she is just LAZY,and the very truth is she doesn't have respect and can't cope with hardship(ie if she is married and her husband mistakenly looses ez job then he is in trouble,women like her would definitely turn him to house boy because from what I read above she was helping and doing everything happily when he had a job so why should she complain and even confront him just because he isn't working nomur,i don't know abt other people but when my parents tell me what they go through before making it in life I shed tears,some will tell u they hawked,they did houseboy,they worked in factories,they did dis and that so for crying out loud they dint put her through the anything Noone on this earth as every gone through,if u look at it from the positive side she is actually learning coz by the time she gets married she wouldn't have problems doing dos stuffs coz she is used to it already,atleast she is getting a lot on the long run and I no these people ain't as wicked as she is making it seem.
2)she isn't one bit grateful,nomatter how little the man's help might be(getting her a job so she can have some change,paying tuitions for her skill,feeding,housing and clothing her before ez shortcomings shows he is a good person and am sure she dint have mouth to talk then,so why now obviously she was doin all that before because of what she was getting(Never start what u knt finish in this context means why didn't she say no she knt do all the chores from the beginning and picked what she could do and leave the rest.I would call that eye service)
3)nomatter how broke a man is,he is still a man nomatter what and everyman I know have their ego to protect(i place myself in the man's shoes,i have been taking care of this girl she never asked me to do chores,just coz I lost my job she is now talking trash,seriously I knt imagine my wife sis telling me to do chores and I am very sure she was RUDE in her manner of approach and must have been doin it continuously that's why it led to her being throw out,something my wife self knt tell me it will now be her kid sister just because I don't have a job,seriously I would send her out.
4)I am sure the kids go to skul,normally when u wake up you just have to tidy the house or at least basic places in the house,go to work and when you get back of course u would cook so is it 2 children's food and 2 adults and herself food she knt cook?
Do they give her clothes to wash during weekdays when they know she goes to work and vocational school,so which chores exactly is she complaining aboutcoz I don't think house chores is beyond washing,cooking,sweeping.
Aldoe I am against washing of the man's cloth but If she knows it's washing cloth that is the problem why knt she beg her sister to buy a washing machine.
the truth is she is just lazy and for her sister to be as lazy as she is then their mother dint train them well or maybe she did and they just dint learn.
Forgive any typos am using Mobile.

chaircover:
At 26, the girl should be making efforts to live on her own and provide for herself

As for the housechores and her sisters hubby doing them or lack of them, is none of her business. She is not married to the sisters husband. If the housechores are too much for her, then she has a chat with her sister about it and her sister needs to work something out

The sister is stupid for allowing anyone to disrespect her husband and not closing down the gaps before they got out of hand to the point that the sister disrespected her husband and her husband chased her own sister out. How did it get to that extent?

Back to the issue of men and housechores, not all size fits all. Some men dont mind doing housechores and were brought up like that. Any man who lived under my mums roof can cook like a chef and can clean. No man who grew up in our household will be waiting on a wife to cook for him if he is hungry and she is not around.

I have also heard of households where boys are allowed to play ball outside where only the girls in the family go to the kitchen to cook. They even pack the plates and wash them after their brothers have finished eating.
These are the men who eventually get tied down by pregnancy by one fast chick who used to come and wash their clothes and cook soup for them becasue they are useless in looking after themselves.

Chillisauce:
Meanwhile at Op, Why are you mentioning and wondering how the parents of the said girl train their children. From your write up, I'm not sure you are better off.

And btw, congratulations on your marriage, you announced to us here you were getting married, announced it has been cancelled but forget to announced another has come . Abi na Lagos marriage style you don settle .

Happy week day everyone

Lolz. I thought I was the only one that noticed the wedding issue. Happy weekday to you too.

When a lady starts disrespecting her sister's husband, it is either the sister has belittled her husband before the lady or the husband has belittled himself.....(or even too much familiarity), hence, the reason for the lady's boldness to confront her sister's husband and tell him all sorts.....

Let the lady go back to her parents' house and manage what her parents can afford till she is able to stand on her feet if she is not happy with staying in her sister's house....

She should leave the house and let the couple run their lifes the way they like. Not her concern.....

Let her find her bearing......

Their parents have nothing to do with all these.....

@All- Please endeavor to perform your respective duties and responsibilities to your family and do not shift it to someone else just because the person is at your mercy or something......

@OP- i won't mind having that kind of your job where i can be home by 4pm even if it is 2 times in a week...... What i want to point out is that not every woman have that grace and it doesn't make them bad wives and because it is a taboo in your place for men to do chores, it is not like that everywhere.... Marriage is a union and not an institution that has to follow a set rule.... What works for A might not work for B. Every family should fashion out what works for them and follow it......

From the comments of some people here, they have made it such that any woman that doesn't total agree with you is a feminist/bad wife bla bla bla and any man that doesn't agree with you is a sissy/woman wrapper yada yada.....

Amelian:
lol @ talon, you are so funny.... nothing they fit do... but seriously in the feminist mind, and heart of hearts , they will know its fact.... some might want 2 bragado but in their closet, their conscience will prick them, by God's grace

You have an interesting way of thinking that I thought was lost on this section...good to know there are still some women keeping it real on here.

aisha2:
I am trying to understand why i was mentioned and what this has to do with feminsim.
A typical explotative couple brought in a relative under the guise of training her and have frustrated and she is lashing out.
What is wrong with a father who has free time caring for his own children?
My husband helps out and will never dump all the work on a relative mine or his

Aisha I total disagree with ypu on this . it is not the place of the inlaw to complain and even say it out loud. He clothes you and feeds you and you there complaining about what?
Her issue the man is jobless and as such should not be loafing around in his own house . Abeg if it was her father will she complain such , and moreover did u ever meet a man that died from hardwork. Una sef can condone nonsense and foolish wife . She even said the wife was with her because they are family can u imagine such reasoning . I bet you there parens think like them . Awon alai leko omo kekere.

Talon05:
I hope your prepared for whats about to hit you ma'am?. Be prepared. Be very prepared. I only know three decent women on here that will agree with you. The rest will tear you apart, and you might need the help of some "feminivores" like TV01, Coogar, Crackhaus and pickabeau.

All the best.

Fixed.

Hahahaha..... "Feminivores"
Has a nice ring to it

crackhaus:

Hahahaha..... "Feminivores"
Has a nice ring to it

I swear down

I wonder where the notion that the man is responsible for slaving his SIL came from?

If we are being realistic here, we know that it's actually the wife who would be responsible for making her own sister a glorified house help, I have seen this play out so many times...
The man most probably doesn't meet his SIL one on one to give her his clothes to wash, it's his wife who I'm sure gathers all the dirty clothes (including that of the husband) and dumps them all at the sister's feet.
I also don't see the man ordering his SIL around to do the dishes or clean the house, this is unusual... such orders would most likely come from the wife.

The problem here is that this lady has become insolent, she is growing wings and acting up based on the premise that it's only her sister that has a job, thus her BIL should assist her in doing the housework instead of sitting around.
Unfortunately for her, such opinions are not hers to have and even if she was thinking it, she was/is very foolish to say it.

kweenkong:



Aisha I total disagree with ypu on this . it is not the place of the inlaw to complain and even say it out loud. He clothes you and feeds you and you there complaining about what?
Her issue the man is jobless and as such should not be loafing around in his own house . Abeg if it was her father will she complain such , and moreover did u ever meet a man that died from hardwork. Una sef can condone nonsense and foolish wife . She even said the wife was with her because they are family can u imagine such reasoning . I bet you there parens think like them . Awon alai leko omo kekere.

Ffs where is the love button when you need one?..Bless you.

@OP:

The younger sister was disrespectful to her sister's husband and she sounds like someone who thinks that money/financial capability = respect as she hammering on her sister's husband doing chores immediately he lost his job.

It is not in the younger sister's place to insist her sister's husband did chores; she does not know the dynamics of the home and she could have simply done what she could and left the rest. If the chores were much, she should discussed with her sister

IMO, I see nothing wrong in the younger sister washing her BIL's clothes (underwears apart).

@Poster:

I really do not know why you asked for different views since you already have a standard view and know that 'feminists will support the younger sister' (Still trying to see what feminism has got to do with subject matter). It seems you want to light up family section this morning.

I am also wondering the fault of the parent (mother since she was the one you blamed) in the above story.

Ok,maybe I didn't get it.
Let me rephrase.
Its an insult to ask hubby to do housechores.

Better now

Abeg I can't meddle.

@op is newly married?
Congrats o.
I prefer good news.

Chillisauce:
Meanwhile at Op, Why are you mentioning and wondering how the parents of the said girl train their children. From your write up, I'm not sure you are better off.

And btw, congratulations on your marriage, you announced to us here you were getting married, announced it has been cancelled but forget to announced another has come . Abi na Lagos marriage style you don settle .

Happy week day everyone

thanks for the congrats on my new marriage, but why shud I announce this one to nld or to any website, when the ones I mentioned didn't smell the time of day... abeg ooooo, chillisauce, remove eye from my marriage, focus on yours. Am not the type that will display pics of my private affairs online. For me, marriage and even the ceremony itself is very private to me and my hubby. At least, when we did the Introduction, traditional and white wedding, I didn't beg for your contribution, or any onelse.
so biko, remove eye . chillisauce