Hello Jay

jaybee3:
Hi Cococandy

chaircover:


Big bumper
Where did the 2 come from?
How are you babes?

@thread the few times I have seen a couple come here to air their issues, it has made things worse.
in the cases I have seen, the other party happens to stumble accross what their spouse said and they then go on to tell an opposite story

Maybe if they both agree beforehand to discuss their issues, and are both in agreement, then maybe it will work.

While you are here mac, I have been thinking of opening a question/answer/reality thread on the romance section, because that is really where the foundation needs to be built on solid ground beofre the "I do", but I havent had time to do this. Maybe some people can help with that.

For the married ones, its maintenance & mostly endure and red pant and boxers advise but the singles can still run 440 if they feel that something is not quite right with Mr/Miss Right.

@bolded, LOL. Romance section? I fear that it might get derailed by future consumers of Family section's advice. People seemingly like to learn the hard way. Besides, I am already heavily tied-up with https://www.nairaland.com/1935933/muslim-singles-matching-service-msms organisational work and like 10 other things across different platforms in cyberspace and the real world.

I fear I might drop dead someday if I don't stop. Maybe someone else can implement your idea or you could do a list of things to do and know before getting married and post it as a thread. There is also the book idea that has existed since 1709.

cococandy:

My point is that if it's a free for all,it wil be hard to keep on track. So, the First 6 volunteers - or however many it's decided the panel should consist of - will take the case.

...lets see how it goes.


TV

Mynd44:
**grabs pop-corn**

drop that pop corn and freeze my account
better still,ban me for 50years

Ok

TV01:

My point is that if it's a free for all,it wil be hard to keep on track. So, the First 6 volunteers - or however many it's decided the panel should consist of - will take the case.

...lets see how it goes.


TV

Who determines who the 'best of advisers' are and who the 'trolls' are?

based on likes?

i did not know there was a merit award group determining levels and ranks



ok

..

pickabeau1:
Who determines who the best of advisers are and who the trolls are?

based on likes?

Good question, I have to say
most people here happen to have sense on particular days and issues and the complete opposite at other times
and I mean, most-yours truly inclusive

pickabeau1:
Who determines who the best of advisers are and who the trolls are?

based on likes?

Personally I think anyone should be able to advise
No one has all the answers and everyone has personal life experiences which others can learn from/identify with too.

pickabeau1:
just a question

Who determines who the best of advisers are and who the trolls are?

based on likes

It should hopefully not matter. Volunteering helps cut it down, and with a decent sized panel, there should be a plurality of advice.


TV

The major issue is actually the partner who may not be keen to bring the issue to a forum or to strangers so to speak who may even be experiencing much more in their own offline lives

Lets see how it goes

TV01,aluta,chaircover

That wasn't meant to be misunderstood.

I personally do not see some posters as better than others but unfortunately,I can't say the same for some people here who make it a point to name names praising some posters while using such praises to take subtle swipes at other posters on the same thread.
As if they'll be given something for it.

pickabeau1:
Who determines who the 'best of advisers' are and who the 'trolls' are?

based on likes?

i did not know there was a merit award group determining levels and ranks



ok

ok

cococandy:
That wasn't meant to be misunderstood.

I personally do not see some posters as better than others but unfortunately,I can't say the same for some people here who make it a point to name names praising some posters while using such praises to take subtle swipes at other posters on the same thread.
As if they'll be given something for it.

This is a great idea! Here is my suggestion;
Make it an open platform where anyone can drop their own advice but let the mods be quick to hide any derailing post including insultive posts

cococandy:
That wasn't meant to be misunderstood.

I personally do not see some posters as better than others but unfortunately,I can't say the same for some people here who make it a point to name names praising some posters while using such praises to take subtle swipes at other posters on the same thread.
As if they'll be given something for it.

I wouldnt worry about the name praising . .
It works both ways trust me
With mentions, I logon and sometimes find myself on both sides of the fence.
. . and like you said, its not as if it evolves into an OBE or MBE of some kind or money in the bank
I think if people learnt to lgnore and face the topic at hand, most threads wont pass one page. I am yet to see anyone fight themselves.
rofo rofo many times its a carry over from another thread so you dont even know what they are talking about anyway

jadelyn007:
This is a great idea! Here is my suggestion;
Make it an open platform where anyone can drop their own advice but let the mods be quick to hide any derailing post including insultive posts

This is how it should be....

TV01:




I meant a different panel of how ever many for each individual issue.

If it's open season for contributions, how is it any different from what normally obtains?


TV

The difference is that it will all be on one thread. There is too much follow-follow and walking on eggshells in this section for your proposal of selecting panel members to work.

But thankfully, as always happens, a new wave of posters have recently graduated from Romance section and migrated to the family section bringing a breath of fresh air with them. So making this a free for all will help absorb everyone, and give a more balanced perspective.

I know you don't suffer fools gladly, but imagine you on one of such panels...imagine the missives directed your path on a regular basis as if you authored that Holy book called the Bible, which forms the basis for most of your - if I might add - archaic old fuddy-duddy stance WHICH IS THE GOD-HONEST ALBEIT BITTER TRUTH.

alutacontinua:

Good question, I have to say
most people here happen to have sense on particular days and issues and the complete opposite at other times

TV01, this is what I was trying to say but couldn't find the correct English

Sounds like a good idea but I am kinda lost on how the couple will tell each other if they are having a misunderstanding' oya let's go to nairaland ' seems feyikogbonish(cant translate in English but was my grandma's best TV programme) anyone who had older Yoruba relatives living with them in the 80's will know the program.

maclatunji:


^{Pours water on pop-corn}

Meanie!










It a great idea.

chaircover:


Big bumper
Where did the 2 come from?
How are you babes?

@thread the few times I have seen a couple come here to air their issues, it has made things worse.
in the cases I have seen, the other party happens to stumble accross what their spouse said and they then go on to tell an opposite story

Maybe if they both agree beforehand to discuss their issues, and are both in agreement, then maybe it will work.

While you are here mac, I have been thinking of opening a question/answer/reality thread on the romance section, because that is really where the foundation needs to be built on solid ground beofre the "I do", but I havent had time to do this. Maybe some people can help with that.

For the married ones, its maintenance & mostly endure and red pant and boxers advise but the singles can still run 440 if they feel that something is not quite right with Mr/Miss Right.

You caught me redhanded trying to sneak in/out of this section Good afternoon young-lady-of-nowadays or wetin Donthingy call you

I support you 100% that it is the romance section who needs the bulk of the advice before they enter one chance in the name of getting married.

And this would save more victims from the perfect ones with the perfect homes who always mock them by recommending they get more red pants and red bra...

damiso:
Sounds like a good idea but I am kinda lost on how the couple will tell each other if they are having a misunderstanding' oya let's go to nairaland ' seems feyikogbonish(cant translate in English but was my grandma's best TV programme) anyone who had older Yoruba relatives living with them in the 80's will know the program.

There is hardly ever a situation where both parties are on NL. I doubt they'll tell their spouse, "I am going to NL to report this issue, let's see who wins?"

I will be watching though. We have many creative fiction writers on NL, I'm sure they can cook up stories to match the needs of this thread.

BananaBender:


There is hardly ever a situation where both parties are on NL. I doubt they'll tell their spouse, "I am going to NL to report this issue, let's see who wins?"

I will be watching though. We have many creative fiction writers on NL, I'm sure they can cook up stories to match the needs of this thread.

Even if it's a cooked up story, someone may be going through that same thing and need the advice given. This could be a helpful thread. "The thread to watch"

It will never work in a country like Nigeria where almost 95% of her population are dishonest people.

BananaBender:

There is hardly ever a situation where both parties are on NL. I doubt they'll tell their spouse, "I am going to NL to report this issue, let's see who wins?"
I will be watching though. We have many creative fiction writers on NL, I'm sure they can cook up stories to match the needs of this thread.

A bit of my point actually. if we can agree to come to nairaland to air the issue I think we can actually work towards a mutual agreement on whatever the issue is.In more serious cases I don't even think the consensus will be reached to both come to nairaland as lines of communication might be strained at that point.

If it is possible though I think It should be responses from a wide range of people because having contributors streamlined to a few people defeats the purpose of coming to an online forum.If it were to be a few contributors It might actually be better to see marriage counsellors(if they are looking for non bias) or people (mentors so to speak)that they both respect.

Busybody2:



You caught me redhanded trying to sneak in/out of this section Good afternoon young-lady-of-nowadays or wetin Donthingy call you

I support you 100% that it is the romance section who needs the bulk of the advice before they enter one chance in the name of getting married.

And this would save more victims from the perfect ones with the perfect homes who always mock them by recommending they get more red pants and red bra...

My dear, let me say it loud and clear that there is no perfect home, no perfect life and no perfect anything.
We all know that, so anyone mocking another is just pointing 1 finger and 4 pointing back at them cos no one knows tomorrow and that perfect wife or husband in 2012 may become something else in 2015
. . . . Than to pray for ones self and family and show empathy to others in pain, no more to do.
This life . . .

texanomaly:


Meanie!


It a great idea.

Thank you to the Texan.

Beautiful idea but it should be an open platform where everyone can contribute and derailing posts should be hidden.

Truckpusher:
It will never work in a country like Nigeria where almost 95% of her population are dishonest people.

jumzzy448:
Beautiful idea but it should be an open platform where everyone can contribute and derailing posts should be hidden.

It is already open. No one is closing it, even if they suggest, I will not buy the idea.

maclatunji:

But this is the truth.
We are very dishonest people and even if we are confronted in our little corner we'll all claim to be Angels in human clothing ,but when the chips are down you'd get to see the real Nigerian.

chaircover:


My dear, let me say it loud and clear that there is no perfect home, no perfect life and no perfect anything.
We all know that, so anyone mocking another is just pointing 1 finger and 4 pointing back at them cos no one knows tomorrow and that perfect wife or husband in 2012 may become something else in 2015
. . . . Than to pray for ones self and family and show empathy to others in pain, no more to do.
This life . . .

Hmmm, these wives run to their inlaw who tells them to endure, they run to their parents who tells them to return to their husbands' house, they come online hoping to seek comfort and succour under the cloak of anonymity yet all they get is a barrage of insults which further destabilises them emotionally...

It is well...