Both abuse and discipline depending on ur location

No matter d tym we commited an offense, My father wld always wait till after dinner b4 making us serve d punishment. A couple of strokes on our asses while prostrating. 2 reasons. Firstly, his anger wld ve reduced. So punishment won't lead to abuse. Secondly, there wld be no passer-by to plead for us. The strokes wld b patterned on our asses sequentially. With dat, a lesson is learnt. Thank God I have both parents as teachers. I believe u knw wat dat means. That was discipline. Flogging must be done wit d right attitude and right instrument.

[quote author=anonymous1989 post=27375035][/quote]

I think we are all mixing two different things here. There is a big difference between flogging and beating. Flogging is an accepted form of discipline than beating. Beating should be discouraged, it involves using the hand or any close weapon of mass destruction on the child which can hurt or killed even. Inasmuch as we don't want to be too harsh on our children we should not be overly permissive. It does not matter how we flog them but how we administer the flogging. Before flogging them help them to see reason why your flogging them. Don't vent your anger on them. Use kind words to cuddle them back after and show them that you flog them out of love. Don't fail on ur promises, once you promise you will flog them, keep to it, failing to will give them them the impression that my mum always promised to flog me and will not afterward. Those of you guys that said you never flog, we have all seen their good conduct.

Mr you beta tell your wife that she is no more in the state, but now in the capital where beating is allow otherwise

Alexsmith20:
As an african man i believe in the adage which say "flog him once and he would flee twice".

but thats not how my wife sees it,she is always keen on pampering the kids base on the facts that she was born and brought up in the states and was not subjected to such method of discipline.

So my question is, is beating a form of ABUSE or DISCIPLINE?

It all depends on the method of chastisement employed. There is a limit to which you beat a child and it is acceptable and when you exceed that limit, you become outrightly abusive to that child. Also, what tool do you use when beating a child? Are you a child abuser @OP?
I don't subscribe to flogging as it indents and scarifies the childs body. I believe the best form of punishment is a mild spanking (by hand) or as the child to do something he detests e.g., sitting still, picking pin, riding an imaginary bike, sitting on the floor and carrying a small stool on the head, asking the child to go wash the toilet.
My mum would give you a newspaper, a notebook and a pen. Then she would ask you to sit on the floor, stretch out your legs, and copy down all you see in the newspaper verbatim. When you are done copying, she would ask you to read it out to her and there better not be an error.
This punishment broadened my intellectual/academic horizon. I'm a better writer and reader because of her. :* I love you mum!

julisa2020:
its dicipline...but when it gets to a certain extent,it becomes abuse...e.g...regular beating of kids at every wrong done dose not always says dicipline...because at a certain stage,beating might become used to the child...so..at times its advisable to use other methods like;tongue lashing and punishments

I was wondering what you mean by the bolded...

Sagamite:


So I should not smack my kids because "they might hate me"?

That is what people should be scared of?

am not saying u should b scared. smack ur kids if u lyk o na ur kids.

firstolalekan:

Grounded Kor, groudnut ni.
All this yeye Hollywood films dey deceive una.

oya carry iroko tree flog ur pikin

Beating ur kids is not abuse, but correction, a mother or father doesn't enjoy beating their kids, what do they stand to gain,? But when a child goes to a wrong direction in life in spank the child for he/she to come back to his senses. My family friends that live in abroad all through their life, guest what, their mum came to Nigeria to build a mansion for them to come back home, simply because the kids has gotten out of hand, she can't shout for her own children, if not they will go to police and report, she will have to pay for abuse(which the foreigners call it) my kids will be beating and love.

This is Africa

From my own point of view, I believe cane is best when it comes to instilling discipline. Cane them when they are little so that the fear would be there and its going to help on the long run when you stop using the cane. I don't know Where some people got this idea of abuse from.I wasn't abused when I was little, I was caned for doing what was wrong.My parents didn't cane me every blessed day but whatever they canned me for, i never repeated. They stopped caning me when I got to pry 5 and guess what? The fear was already there. To my unborn child, I love you but I won't spare the rod

Fi paasan na, ki yi o ku

Alexsmith20:
As an african man i believe in the adage which say "flog him once and he would flee twice".

but thats not how my wife sees it,she is always keen on pampering the kids base on the facts that she was born and brought up in the states and was not subjected to such method of discipline.

So my question is, is beating a form of ABUSE or DISCIPLINE?

Tile tile tile make you knack am the kpako
oya knack am the kpako
Any child wey misbehave knack am the kpako
Oya knack am the kpako
Oya knack am, knack am, knack am, knack am.

stupidity is in a child heart, what drive it out is rod

To me it's an abuse cos a child will only change if he/she wnt to. Moreover,there are other better ways one can correct a child without flogging or beating d him/her. Reward system,extinction,punishment etc

The wife that married that was not abused as a child,did she turn out to be an idiot like most Nigerian adults that loots when they are given positions of authority or prays to Jesus or Allah to feed their children?

To abuse a child in the name of discipline is as good as not being in control of one's life. It does not help,rather it makes things worse,it suppresses the child's ability to learn confidently, constructively,interactively and intelligently.

Do ever wonder why Nigerian society are full of failed adults that just believe in stealing what belongs to others even when they are supposedly educated? Why they still can't stand on their two feet without Jesus or Allah,even when they are in advanced society where the concept of god is secondary? Timidly and branwashly educated.

Beating a child should be done cautiously, with corrective motive and not with anger or else it turns to abuse. I beat my children and also threaten to deprive them of certain enjoyment if they don't comply. I discovered that even at mere mention of cane they comply and immediately I achieve the compliance I show love to them.
For me, it's not an abuse if well-managed.
*Never beat when angered
*Don't shout at your kids. It only proves you're out of control
*Before beating, make the child realize his mistake
*If he apologizes, why not forgive
*Never, beat your child with your bare hand or kick.
Goodluck!

Hmm,BEATING! I was beaten to the extent that I got used to it and even punishment,weneva I've done wrong I'll be like 'no be beat my father go beat me, I no go die nw' so I guess beating is not on point its abuse

My dad used to beat me 'very well' wen i was small, to d point at which my self esteem was very low, i dnt hate him but he affected my life so negatively. I will go with beat with right hand, pamper with left hand.
*** If my dad deals with u in a day, trust me u will be automaticaly restored to factory setting frm God***

[b]Hmmmm..



This one is STRONNNG!



I would however go with Abuse. We need to first understand the philosophy of Crime and repersussions.


When you flog a Child, what do you hope to achieve?! Is it Punitive or Corrective?!

My Mum was a professional at flogging. She would beat me with all sorts of items. Infact, when I was being flogged, all weapons were permitted. She would use sticks, canes, whips, belts, stems, electric cables and even a bottle. I didnt think those were corrective in anyway for me. So I used to steal from my mums purse as a teenager. When I got caught (which was quite often), I got a beating. But the one amazing thing is that tough I just got bruised and battered last week for taking 50 Naira out of her bag, this week I am back in her purse (but with a much improved strategy). It simply didnt work..


Using the cane regularly takes away from the gravity. SO you beat a child too oftem, too long and he/she becomes impervious to pain. Another problem is also the fact that the cane in the hands of an Angry person is actually a weapon that can kill. I have heard of a story of a mother who flogged her kid and in the process the child died from an ill placed blow from the cane that landed somewhere around the head killing the child. My mum had anger issues and would lose count of her flogging and just attack me like a predator on a prey. The day she used a bottle on me, it was because she was so angry after flogging me with a wire that she felt the need to really hurt me some more.


I would rather opt for the Good Cop bad Cop approach.. My wife plays good Cop; She would get mad, be sad, scold and show disappointment with the Child for their actions and explain what they did, why its wrong and the consequences of their actions. I would be the Bad Cop that comes in for repeat offences and repeat offences carry corporal consequences. 2 weeks of No Television plus chores, No video games plus Chores, stuff like that... Then when the offence is grand, thats when I will bring out the whip and couple it with heavy corporal punishment like Kneeling down, e.t.c.


The one major probem in Nigerian parenting isnt just the use of the cane for me but the lack of corrective measures after the cane. If my Mum had tried to talk to me to find out why I was always stealing her 20 and 50 naira, she would have realized that it was because the 20 Naira Transport + Feeding money was not sufficient as she thought. And if an extra 10 naira had been added to my daily stipend, I would not have had the need to steal as all I did with the money was buy Soda and Bonce and Ice cream during lunch break and after school before extra lessons.


Canes would only be used as 'CAPITAL PUNISHMENT' in my house for certain offences.

[/b]

redsun:
The wife that married that was not abused as a child,did she turn out to be an idiot like most Nigerian adults that loots when they are given positions of authority or prays to Jesus or Allah to feed their children?

To abuse a child in the name of discipline is as good as not being in control of one's life. It does not help,rather it makes things worse,it suppresses the child's ability to learn confidently, constructively,interactively and intelligently.

Do ever wonder why Nigerian society are full of failed adults that just believe in stealing what belongs to others even when they are supposedly educated? Why they still can't stand on their two feet without Jesus or Allah,even when they are in advanced society where the concept of god is secondary? Timidly and branwashly educated.

I was so beaten black, blue and red to the extent that I started believing that I was not as good as other children. I'm the last of several children and any of my elder ones could 'discipline' me. When I left home for school I met others who were never beaten for one day and they were more confident and didn't behave worse. Then I ask myself, what was all the beating for. Even though I understand that my family was trying to train me the best way they knew, I still feel the pains in my heart. No child deserves beating.

BEAT TO DISCIPLINE AND NOT TO ABUSE.

It depend on the child, but for me it's very old and archaic...growing up I prefer being flogged than talked to but my parent will always do the opposite, & I must confess it restored my brain to factory setting most of the time

Woe unto ye that think that the "rod" that should not be spared on thy offspring, is always the rod gotten from the bosom of trees.

The day thy offspring would utter or act the word "odeshi" when corrected, makes haste towards thee.
Selah.

Sagamite:


So I should not smack my kids because "they might hate me"?

That is what people should be scared of?

STFU, you don't have kids!

Has your fagggot biatch delivered a baby?

A fagggot m_oron talking about kids.

Isn't this your fagggot biatch professing love to you?

masonkz:


Leave saga alone. I love him

Discipline. This is the way I discipline my child. After flogging.

Warning: do not call me names for doing this......you will surely not like my response.

+

Depending on the child o. Because if that child own don too much, make I hear say I no smack that ass small.

You use different methods to discipline a child depending on the age of the child. Flogging, scolding,denying a child what he likes most, stopping his pocket money,doing addtional house chores,etc are ways of disciplining a child. All methods should be used interchangeably and moderately without bitterness and anger. I also control what I open my mouth to say because as a father whatever I say to my children will come to pass. So I do not punish or talk to my children when I am so angry at them.If I do, I will likely wound them. I do so when my anger has subsided and let them know that they are held responsible for any misbehaviour. As far as I am concerned, any Child that is not discplined or flogged is a danger to himself and society. Well, anyone can do whatever he likes with his children.

Whether you flog, corporal punishment, scold or advise, parents should be able to let their children know that not doing a thing is because it is bad and not because Daddy or mummy will flog him. Else if daddy or mummy are not around, the child will simply do that same thing.

bunmioguns:
Proverbs 22:15


New International Version
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

New Living Translation
A youngster's heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.

English Standard Version
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

New American Standard Bible
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

King James Bible
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

its discipline.