Hello fellow nairalanders, this is no joke. (crying as i type)

I happens to see myself in a family of nine(9), seven (7) children & our parents. Am de 6th child in my final year in skul.All through my whole life I never knew that the people i taught where my parents are not. I'll be 22 years of old by next week thursday & no one has ever opened up to me.
This is like a dream because i have never lacked anything from the family & my parents have never been harsh on me (devoted christians).

It was yesterday that I was drinking in the neighbourhood with my friends that I had a misunderstanding with a guy that resulted to a big fight. I wounded him so badly that his mother had to come & when she tried to identify me, people told him about me & due to her being mad & angry as well, she never knew when she revealed the secret. She said I shud go & look for my parents that de people i thought were my parents were not & was it why i wanted to kill someone who has parents?

It was obvious elderly people around knew about it because they were begging her to stop ranting. Later in the night, i had to meet an elderly man in de hood after my pleadings, he informed me that they were not my real parents & that they are just God-sent.
It seems my mum left me in there doorstep.

Am really mad @ everything & since yesterday I ve not eaten & alot of questions are going on inside of me... Why haven't my parents told me since? Why did my real mum leave me in there doorstep? Was she a teenager? Was she raped?
My problem is how to confront my parents because am really mad @ them for not telling me.

Please pray for me because am really dying slowly inside

walahi you should die from your own grammar

did you say you are in a school?

But u dnt lack anythn do u? Ddnt dey raise u up by providin everythn u need

so sorry sweetheart God is ur strenght

morefire:
walahi you should die from your own grammar

did you say you are in a school?

must you comment ehn? I'm sure you couldn't even make ordinary credit in English Language in your ssce! Smh

wunderkiind:
must you comment ehn? I'm sure you couldn't even make ordinary credit in English Language in your ssce! Smh

yup i couldnt

meanwhile i hope you know what you just read is a script sha!!

dont dull

morefire:



yup i couldnt

meanwhile i hope you know what you just read is a script sha!!

dont dull

Good thing you didn't deny.

Even if it's a script, So what? It's not an essay.

Now run along

morefire:
walahi you should die from your own grammar

did you say you are in a school?

Unfortunately, there are many so-called graduates and university students that find it hard to compose an essay. A couple of years back it was stated somewhere that 80% of NYSC applicants couldn't fill their registration forms. I have a friend who made lots of money filling forms at the NYSC camp. He charged N500 simply to help write out their names, address, sex, school attended etc. All very basic questions.

Meanwhile, back to the topic. Op, my biological father left me when I was 3 months old and I was raised by my mother, RIP, and a man I was told was my father. My dad never raised his voice @ me and he spoiled me rotten. Well, at least till he got married to one lady who came and tore everything apart. Story for the gods.

I know how you must feel. I was 10years old when I was told the truth but over the years I've gotten to realise that it doesn't matter who slept with who to produce you, what matters is the love that was shown to you. God obviously has a reason for creating you. Don't let anyone let you feel bad.

My advice, confront your parents, you're already old enough, and ask them to tell you the truth. It must have been hard for them to keep such a secret from you and I'd advice that you continue to appreciate the love they have shown you so far. Don't let your hurt push you to take their love for granted.

If you want to find your real parents that's up to you. Just remember that your parents are those who have shown that they love you.

As for my own biological dad, the thunder that will fire him is receiving training at ISIS HQ

stages of grieve reaction, - Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. your reaction is normal, get professional help too, sorry

no matter how deep you are touched or disturbed it wount change anything rather it will affect you mental co-ordination... Just appreciate ur new parents for d support and care.. Leave the matter and Face reality.. Dats all

The Lord is your muscle o


Don't let it get to you so bad,if they have taken care of you from infancy to this stage,then you owe them the privilege of appreciation.

No need to cry,just rejoice that some people did not pick and use you for ritual..

You are better than some of us who were not abandoned but are ignored...

morefire:
walahi you should die from your own grammar
did you say you are in a school?

Wen smone is not in d right frame of mind, grammar would be d least thing on ur mind
Meanwhile, if u r so intelligent u should understand wot he means
@ op u see why its not good to drink, u didn't just drink u also fought, its a shame on u,
The bible says "wine is a mocker"
Well I will suggest u man up and ask them about it, not confront o cos there's a difference, ask them and woteva they tell u appreciate them cos they never treated u in dt wise or made u feel less in any way.
I don't think its necessary to look for ur mother, but then its based on wot ur parents tell u

Eyaa

U are nt to b angry with d ppl who ave been there through thick and thin,kept it frm u and ur siblings(kidz would insulted u during kidz fight if they knew)dey were humane,treated u in every way like diers for more than 2 decades,refuse d anger stuff and celebrate d grace dat has kept u alive and with a wonderful family.it's dat gives u wat even some biological parents do not give,e.g education

hahn:


Unfortunately, there are many so-called graduates and university students that find it hard to compose an essay. A couple of years back it was stated somewhere that 80% of NYSC applicants couldn't fill their registration forms. I have a friend who made lots of money filling forms at the NYSC camp. He charged N500 simply to help write out their names, address, sex, school attended etc. All very basic questions.

Meanwhile, back to the topic. Op, my biological father left me when I was 3 months old and I was raised by my mother, RIP, and a man I was told was my father. My dad never raised his voice @ me and he spoiled me rotten. Well, at least till he got married to one lady who came and tore everything apart. Story for the gods.

I know how you must feel. I was 10years old when I was told the truth but over the years I've gotten to realise that it doesn't matter who slept with who to produce you, what matters is the love that was shown to you. God obviously has a reason for creating you. Don't let anyone let you feel bad.

My advice, confront your parents, you're already old enough, and ask them to tell you the truth. It must have been hard for them to keep such a secret from you and I'd advice that you continue to appreciate the love they have shown you so far. Don't let your hurt push you to take their love for granted.

If you want to find your real parents that's up to you. Just remember that your parents are those who have shown that they love you.

As for my own biological dad, the thunder that will fire him is receiving training at ISIS HQ

hahahahahahahahhahhahaaaaa, u r mouthed.

Holywizard:

Am really mad @ everything & since yesterday I ve not eaten & alot of questions are going on inside of me... Why haven't my parents told me since? Why did my real mum leave me in there doorstep? Was she a teenager? Was she raped?
My problem is how to confront my parents because am really mad @ them for not telling me.
Please pray for me because am really dying slowly inside

Young man, go home and thank them - thoroughly!

I empathise on the shocking discovery but be eternally grateful to the wonderful couple that gave you a home and 'siblings' that treated you like one of them all these years. Telling you would have allowed you to read meanings into simple acts of discipline in your growing up years.
Don't confront them. Rather thank them immensely for their kindness and see how they shower you with more love.
Many biological parents are not half as kind and responsible as this couple.

It is unfortunate they never told you till date nonetheless, be happy for them that they took you as their child and did everything they could to make you happy.
Tell them you would like to know how you came to be a part of their life and I hope they tell you all thy know about you.

kemdee1:
I empathise on the shocking discovery but be eternally grateful to the wonderful couple that gave you a home and 'siblings' that treated you like one of them all these years. Telling you would have allowed you to read meanings into simple acts of discipline in your growing up years.
Don't confront them. Rather thank them immensely for their kindness and see how they shower you with more love.
Many biological parents are not half as kind and responsible as this couple.

jesus! Am so sorry to remind u of ur past

GboyegaD:
It is unfortunate they never told you till date nonetheless, be happy for them that they took you as their child and did everything they could to make you happy.
Tell them you would like to know how you came to be a part of their life and I hope they tell you all thy know about you.

thank u

Far from being mad at them, you should be grateful. It is neither their fault nor yours that there exist mindless elements in our societies that would run from their own self-induced responsibilities. I suspect their reason for not telling was to protect you from your current state of being, especially as a growing child. Please be mindful of how you handle yourself now - a harsh backlash would only confirm their long upheld decision, and they don't deserve it anyhow.

That's not to say that your feelings are invalid, OP. Pray find a healthy outlet, and try to compartmentalize your thoughts and emotions. You'll get through this!

Take care.

Holywizard:
Hello fellow nairalanders, this is no joke. (crying as i type)

I happens to see myself in a family of nine(9), seven (7) children & our parents. Am de 6th child in my final year in skul.All through my whole life I never knew that the people i taught where my parents are not. I'll be 22 years of old by next week thursday & no one has ever opened up to me.
This is like a dream because i have never lacked anything from the family & my parents have never been harsh on me (devoted christians).

It was yesterday that I was drinking in the neighbourhood with my friends that I had a misunderstanding with a guy that resulted to a big fight. I wounded him so badly that his mother had to come & when she tried to identify me, people told him about me & due to her being mad & angry as well, she never knew when she revealed the secret. She said I shud go & look for my parents that de people i thought were my parents were not & was it why i wanted to kill someone who has parents?

It was obvious elderly people around knew about it because they were begging her to stop ranting. Later in the night, i had to meet an elderly man in de hood after my pleadings, he informed me that they were not my real parents & that they are just God-sent.
It seems my mum left me in there doorstep.

Am really mad @ everything & since yesterday I ve not eaten & alot of questions are going on inside of me... Why haven't my parents told me since? Why did my real mum leave me in there doorstep? Was she a teenager? Was she raped?
My problem is how to confront my parents because am really mad @ them for not telling me.

Please pray for me because am really dying slowly inside

Honey,

I really do feel for you,this must be hard but allow me to talk to you as a mother with children
First of all the woman that told you this was foolish and secondly your parents shouldn't have left this too long but I understand what happened.
It must have been tough to know when the right time is to tell you this and they delayed it
Please know that they did this primarily because they didn't want to hurt you .it was out of love not by any evil intent
The fact that they treated you just like their own child tells you they love you greatly
Please don't hold this against them
Your feelings of hurt,wondering where you are from and why you were abandoned are real and understandable
But above all,remember that those two parents ,yes parents,they are your parents ,love you dearly
I pray you get though this phase quickly.
A parent is one who nurtures a child,they nurtured you,they are your parents
The stoopid woman that used this to score cheap points must be very uncooked
You are blessed to have the mom you have,don't hold this against them.

You can come here and pour out your heart and rant and rave and if I have words of comfort I will give it
Don't allow this eat you up or affect your academic pursuit or goals in life
Adopted children are just as precious as biological children
You are here and it is not by accident
You may have been abandoned as a baby and perhaps that is the best thing to happen because you ended up in a loving family
If I found out today I was adopted,I would also be hurt but I will have no regrets being raised by the parents that I have.
Keep your head up high
This is just a bump in the road,don't lose focus and confidence in who you are
God bless

Some people blame God for putting thorns on Roses, others thank God for putting Roses among thorns.

When a cup is half empty, it is also half full.



Do you see where I'm coming from? It's all about perspective. So I'd say, instead of feeling abandoned(by your biological mum), why don't you start feeling chosen with love(by your adopted family)

10% of your life is determined by what happened to you, 90% is determined by how you react to what happened to you. Stay positive.

OP, are u saying u are mad cos ur parents didn't tell u they ain't ur biological parents? U are just a definition of the word ingrate (if at all ur story is the truth)

Maybe they decided. NOT to tell u because of ur agbero attitude. The fear that u might stab them to death when u get mad. An example is that of ur neighbourhood friend u injured.....Change ur ways o and learn to be appreciative rather than being MAD

babyosisi:


Honey,

I really do feel for you,this must be hard but allow me to talk to you as a mother with children
First of all the woman that told you this was foolish and secondly your parents shouldn't have left this too long but I understand what happened.
It must have been tough to know when the right time is to tell you this and they delayed it
Please know that they did this primary because they didn't want to hurt you .it was out of love not by any evil intent
The fact that they treated you just like their own child tells you they love you greatly
Please don't hold this against them
Your feelings of hurt,wondering where you are from and why you were abandoned are real and understandable
But above all,remember that those two parents ,yes parents,they are your parents ,love you dearly
I pray you get though this phase quickly.
A parent is one who nurtures a child,they nurtured you,they are your parents
The stoopid woman that used this to score cheap points must be very uncooked
You are blessed to have the mom you have,don't hold this against them.

You can come here and pour out your heart and rant and rave and if I have words of comfort I will give it
Don't allow this eat you up or affect your academic pursuit or goals in life
Adopted children are just as precious as biological children
You are here and it is not by accident
You may have been abandoned as a baby and perhaps that is the best thing to happen because you ended up in a loving family
If I found out today I was adopted,I would also be hurt but I will have no regrets being raised by the parents that I have.
Keep your head up high
This is just a bump in the road,don't lose focus and confidence in who you are
God bless

thank u ma

Wealthyone:
OP, are u saying u are mad cos ur parents didn't tell u they ain't ur biological parents? U are just a definition of the word ingrate (if at all ur story is the truth)

Maybe they decided. NOT to tell u because of ur agbero attitude. The fear that u might stab them to death when u get mad. An example is that of ur neighbourhood friend u injured.....Change ur ways o and learn to be appreciative rather than being MAD

You don't have to respond
Seriously
It is wickedness to stab someone you find on the wayside ,already wounded
You either help him or you walk on by

Holywizard:
jesus! Am so sorry to remind u of ur past

?

It doesnt have to have anything to do with her past.
I've met people who were brought up by other people and know how they have lived beautiful lives cos they were simply grateful to God and man for having people that care around them.
Many abandoned kids end up as touts. God didn't allow that to happen to you. Be thankful and He will do much more for you.

Holywizard:
jesus! Am so sorry to remind u of ur past

Not at all! Had a happy childhood o and I know my parents. Just advising you to appreciate what God has done to save you from misery. He will surely do more in your life. Amen

@op,i empathise with you but pause and consider how lucky you are

.

Apparently you have a major problem with 'self-control'.
Most children in AFRICA DO NOT HANDLE REJECTION FROM THEIR BIOLOGICAL 'DONORS' WELL.

Please, don't kill your 'GOD-SENTS'. . . .
You would have been dead long ago.
When life throws you lemons. . . MAKE LEMONADE.
If you were abandoned by your 'donors' or 'cross-pollinators'. . . . not relevant.
BE THANKFUL YOU WERE NOT KILLED.

If anyone calls you a 'bastard'. . . please tell them that their 'LORD JESUS' is one. . . and he is their savoir.

Always wear a T-shirt that says. . .'BE KIND TO BASTARDS. . . JESUS CHRIST IS ONE'!

Amen!!!!

@ Holywizard

I think you have issues that you need to deal with aside from this one that seems to be front and centre. A young man indulging in drunken fits of anger must have underlying issues and in your case it has nothing to do with who your parents are. Find the true source of your anger.