Babygirlfl

i asked this question on your thread and you recommended opening a thread
After the debate.. i will close the thread

What are your views on headship of a family

Thanks

it is determined by character not by gender

The husband(a householder/house-band).

Traditionally, the husband is the head of the household, he is the sole provider or breadwinner of the family.

The word husband when traced down to its origin means “house-band”. He is the one that is to bind the home together. If the band breaks, the home will fall apart. The very name infers that the husband is to be a leader, a protector and a provider with a lot of TLC.

In Nigerian for instance, a man is the head of the home not just because he is a man but because he is the initiator and the funder of the union/partnership.

Whatever anybody wants to believe, the issue of headship can only be argued against but can't be contested.

Traditionally, religiously and secularly, the man heads the home.

I guess it is the word head that haunts and torments anyone against the headship of Man.

If anybody has problem with that, he/she should question God and if an atheist, question evolution.

Lol...a good question.

It should be directed to all married women on here, hopefully they say it as it really is in their homes.

Society calls him the head, i call him my partner,my best friend, my lover.......we take decisions jointly, we both contibute jointly to the financial upkeep of the house, he respects me and i respect him.

I don't understand all these head ish,i dont really care,when you are in a blessed and happy home, all these wont matter.

crackhaus:
Lol...a good question.

It should be directed to all married women on here, hopefully they say it as it really is in their homes.

I doubt they will say it as it is in their homes, they will come in here and tell us bullz but then some of them are married to p******. I dont think a real man will allow his headship be challenged in his home.

parismarc:
Society calls him the head, i call him my partner,my best friend, my lover.......we take decisions jointly, we both contibute jointly to the financial upkeep of the house, he respects me and i respect him.

I don't understand all these head ish,i dont really care,when you are in a blessed and happy home, all these wont matter.

Ma'am, yhyhyh it is as you've written it here, your man is your partner and you do stuffs together and make decisions together, its amazing but normal and you one of the lucky few with a good man but quick question, when certain tough decisions has to be made even when you think your idea is the best and yet he disagrees, do you let him have his way or u remain adamant and do it your way?

Talon05:

I doubt they will say it as it is in their homes, they will come in here and tell us bullz but then some of them are married to p******. I dont think a real man will allow his headship be challenged in his home.

Let's watch and see how it unfolds.

crackhaus:

Let's watch and see how it unfolds.

I will be watching...

Talon05:

Ma'am, yhyhyh it is as you've written it here, your man is your partner and you do stuffs together and make decisions together, its amazing but normal and you one of the lucky few with a good man but quick question, when certain tough decisions has to be made even when you think your idea is the best and yet he disagrees, do you let him have his way or u remain adamant and do it your way?

hmmmm, sometimes i let him have his way and then i hope that all does'nt go well so that i can gloat (lol) but then, fate always seems to favour him and his idea turns out to be better.

He also let's me have my way sometimes so i cant complain, basicallly, im grateful to God that i have a very understanding husband.

parismarc:


hmmmm, sometimes i let him have his way and then i hope that all does'nt go well so that i can gloat (lol) but then, fate always seems to favour him and his idea turns out to be better.

He also let's me have my way sometimes so i cant complain, basicallly, im grateful to God that i have a very understanding husband.

At d bolded.. interesting.. thanks for your honest response

pickabeau1:
Babygirlfl

i asked this question on your thread and you recommended opening a thread
After the debate.. i will close the thread

What are your views on headship of a family

Thanks

What are your views, pickabeau? This has really got me curious - it seems to be a huge deal.

What is headship to you, and what does it entail?

EnlightenedSoul:


What are your views, pickabeau? This has really got me curious - seems to be a huge deal.

What is headship?

The man is the head of the family..means that the buck stops at his table, makes consultations and empowers as need be
its only a big deal if u think it is..

Headship of the family... not schools or other organisations

Women have being known to head families where the man abdicates his responsibility

babygirlfl:


I am only replying to make this clear. I never said Lewstherin derailed the thread. I said he replied to people derailing the thread. As for your question, answering it will be derailing this thread. Create a topic for that please.

hi..still waiting for your views..if u dont mind

parismarc:


hmmmm, sometimes i let him have his way and then i hope that all does'nt go well so that i can gloat (lol) but then, fate always seems to favour him and his idea turns out to be better.

He also let's me have my way sometimes so i cant complain, basicallly, im grateful to God that i have a very understanding husband.

Noted. All the best.

pickabeau1:


The man is the head of the family..means that the buck stops at his table, makes consultations and empowers as need be
its only a big deal if u think it is..

Headship of the family... not schools or other organisations

Women have being known to head families where the man abdicates his responsibility

So this is about making all the household decisions pertaining to the wife, home, and children?

EnlightenedSoul:


So this is about about making all the household decisions pertaining to the wife, home, and children?

you are the one reading nuances into what is not there
Like the poster above parismarc said...

Decisions are made jointly with the hubby but where a knotty one comes up and a decision HAS to be made, she defers to the man

a well structured courtship should ensure commonality & compatibility over 90 percent of issues
We are talking of a small bunch here

But note a woman may have the best solution to that issue, the man should trust his partner to make the best decision

pickabeau1:


you are the one reading nuances into what is not there
Like the poster above parismarc said...

Decisions are made jointly with the hubby but where a knotty one comes up and a decision HAS to be made, she defers to the man

a well structured courtship should ensure commonality & compatibility over 90 percent of issues
We are talking of a small bunch here

But note a woman may have the best solution to that issue, the man should trust his partner to make the best decision

Well, if they agree, there is no issue to begin with so we've been discussing disagreements anyhow.

I got your view.

EnlightenedSoul:


If they agree, there's no issue to begin with so we've been discussing the disagreements anyhow.

I got your view.

cool

pickabeau1:


cool

How do you feel about each spouse having a set of delegated responsibilities?

EnlightenedSoul:


How do you feel about each spouse having a set of delegated responsibilities?

please clarify

In my opinion, responsibilities are mostly always delegated as it is expected that one can function capably as the other

pickabeau1:


please clarify

In my opinion, responsibilities are mostly always delegated as it is expected that one can function capably as the other

Nah, it's precisely because one spouse is better than the other at it (or more appreciates handling it) that the task becomes their full responsibly. They can't possibly both be equally good at all the same things.

For instance: finance. One spouse does all the tallying of incomes and salaries, budgets the family, and makes all/most of the financial calls and etc, with each spouse dealing in their respective area of expertise and informing the other of the larger more impacting decisions.

EnlightenedSoul:


Nah, it's precisely because one spouse is better at it than the other (or more appreciates handling it) that the task becomes their full responsibly. They can't possibly both be equally good at all the same things.

For instance, finance. One spouse does all the tallying of incomes and salaries, budgets the family, and makes all/most of the financial calls and etc with each spouse dealing in their area of expertise and informing the other of the larger decisions.

ok.. this also works in some families...

In others... some tasks can be handled well by any of the parties

pickabeau1:


ok.. this also works in some families...

In others... some tasks can be handled well by any of the parties

I guess coming from that type of family makes you wonder what this whole headship pie is actually about. It seems it's more apparent in households where the father is the sole breadwinner, and therefore understandably fully in charge of making every little decision for the family (and therefore always being the natural 'tiebreaker').

EnlightenedSoul:


I guess coming from that type of family makes you wonder what this whole headship pie is actually about. It seems it's more apparent in households where the father is the sole breadwinner, and therefore understandably fully in charge of making every little decision for the family (and therefore always being the natural 'tiebreaker').

This is true but not all the time
I know of families where the man is the sole earner but the woman makes most of the decisions
Within the agreed framework


What are your views

pickabeau1:


This is true but not all the time
I know of families where the man is the sole earner but the woman makes most of the decisions
Within the agreed framework

I do too. It's the same delegation I spoke of, only that partnership still consist of one earner. Hence, he still calls the major shots and is still the overall 'boss' (for lack of a better word).

EnlightenedSoul:


I do too. It's the same delegation I spoke of, only that partnership still consist of one earner. Hence, he still calls the major shots and is still the overall 'boss' (for lack of a better word).

So what is your view on this?
What do u propose

pickabeau1:


So what is your view on this?
What do u propose

I don't propose anything. Different strokes for different folks.

...

how will you like it to work in your own family..

EnlightenedSoul:


I don't propose anything. Different strokes for different folks.

pickabeau1:
...

how will you like it to work in your own family..

In what way? To 'head' or not to 'head'?

EnlightenedSoul:


In what way? To 'head' or not to 'head'?

yes
Do you believe all decisions can be made jointly

pickabeau1:


yes
Do you believe all decisions can be made jointly

No, but I believe in compromise whenever they can't be. Sex alone breaks a stalemate? Nah.