haryor14:
Am having concern over issue, my wife's younger sister want to move in with us in a two room apartment because her skul is closer our house. I told her i will think abt it. I just want to know how things will work out.

krall:
Please send her to me
I stay near her school too

Mizchief:

What wind blew you to the family section?

Mizchief:

What wind blew you to the family section?

crackhaus:

Is she really pretty and you feel it's going to be a problem?

Tallesty1:
Someone doesn't trust his third leg.

krall:
sir do you reside in abuja?

Tallesty1:
Yes sir.

mesoade:
From the Op's perspective . .
They're living in a two room apartment not a flat.
.
Temptations might come if the wife is not at home or maybe he accidentally walked in while the girl is dressing, and u know say konji na bastard!
.
For the safety of the marriage,i think he shoudn't allow her stay . . . #just saying

rationalmind:


You know, whenever I read posts like this, I just smile.

Now, lets reverse roles, shall we?

Lets assume it's your younger brother who gains admission and has to stay with you-for obvious reasons.

You then tell your wife and she says no. You press her for reasons and she says your brother might become a temptation to her because kongi na bastard.

Let me guess your reaction, you'll give her a pat on the back, commend her intelligence, call your brother to tell him he can't stay with you. You can even go ahead to tell him it's because he might eventually sleep with your wife.

mesoade:
if my brother has to stay,my wife as already to me her fears,maybe she has high libido,now if she does anything silly,she isn't to be blamed,cos she's warned me in the first instance.

rationalmind:


Since you've gone to the extreme using someone with a high libido, I'll also do the same.

So what if you're the one hugely responsible for the upbringing of your brother. He just gained admission say in a place like lagos where you can barely pay your own rent let alone renting another for your brother.

Here comes your wife with high libido who says she might be tempted. You'll tell your bro to fvck off cos your wife will be justified if she eventually sleeps with him?

mesoade:
bro,your assumptions are becomin twisted . . You'l make a good writer in nollywood

mesoade: if my brother has to stay,my wife as already to me her fears,maybe she has high libido,now if she does anything silly,she isn't to be blamed,cos she's warned me in the first instance.

rationalmind:


Ooh, I'm the one assuming?

So, what's this in bold.



Lol, isn't that an assumption?

I might make a good writer in nollywood as you said but you'll make a good comedian

Tallesty1:
Someone doesn't trust his third leg.

LewsTherin:
The points Rationalmind makes are extremely valid. But I think he's trying to say the OP cannot go telling his wife that her sister cannot stay with them because he could fall into temptation. Literally.

These type of issues are issues that should not crop up if couples discuss thoroughly and openly before marriage. I don't have any advice for the OP because these issues are only handle-able by the people involved. But for those yet to marry, discuss all possible scenarios with ur significant other. In my case, we agreed way before we got married that family can visit, family can spend a couple of days, a few weeks, even a month. But after that, they leave. No long term stay for school, work or what not. And so if I was in the Op's shoes, this is a non-sequitur as we already know she cannot stay. But that's just me.

rationalmind:


I couldn't had said this better.



Few weeks ago, I was having this conversation with my boss. I told him about a family friend who has this agreement with the wife never to allow a family member stay with them for long.

I told my boss I seem to agree with him cos I'm sure he must have experienced certain things in the past which subsequently influenced that decision of his.

My boss asked me just one question which I wasn't able to answer. Till this moment, I'm still yet to find an answer.

His question to me was, "Did he not in the past also stay with someone? What if that person he stayed with never allowed him stay?

I'm directing the same question to you, Haven't you ever stayed with someone before? If you have, how can you now turn around and say no one can stay with you? If you haven't, how about your wife? How can she now agree to such "rule"?

In addition, what if in the nearest future, due to some reasons or the other, your child needs to stay with someone?

LewsTherin:



Througout my growing up, there was always someone or other staying with my family. At one point, there were 25 of us living in the same house.including the helps and driver. During my service year, I stayed with my sister in her home. The friction and tension my family went through while I was growing up, the fact that there were so many people and so few resources that till date, there os no close relationship between my siblings, parents and myself are the reasons my Lady and I took that decision. I actually expected to be the obe hit more by that decision when we discussed it. But I am determined not to put my own family through the same lifestyle I went through.

As for the future thing, I can only work and pray towards it but it doesn't change my outlook. My home is now and by the grace of God will remain me, my wife, our daughter and that's it. No house helps, no extended family. But that is just me.