Let me get this straight, you "locked" his shirt but expected a kiss and not a slap?! Wonderful. One can only wonder the tone with which you asked these questions that you say you "just asked". Then one person has the mind to say "that kind of man" "aggressive man", has the woman not shown aggression by "locking" her husband's shirt? Yeye dey smell.

Tiredwify:
He said that tonight after a heated argument, he even went as far as beating me up cos I locked his cloth. I asked him about his finances, how he spends money et al. I cant even type it all. I need to speak with matured christian woman. I am totally fed up. Our marriage is less than a year. We dated for two years. Someone should pls help me out. I dont want to leave my child behind. I need help. I am tired. I want a peaceful home and a good husband. Oh Lord, i never bargained for this, Oluwa saanu funmi.

May God heal your home!

I do have a lot to say, but I will just prescribe this books to you!
1. No More two: Gbile Akanni( for couples)
2. Give Me A Drink: Sade Akanni(for You)
3.Dignity of Manhood: Gbile Akanni(Your husband)
4. Look Unto Sarah Who Bore You: Sade Akanni(for you)

U can get those books from any Peace House outlets or any Christian bookstore!

For now, be a woman of few words, and let any words u would alter be salted with humility and selflessness!

This home will stand as long as you want it! Be passionate to see your marriage last!

Bless you!

In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

@cocoacandy. You made me display all my 32. She should go and learn karate you say. Na Wetin the pikin go learn?

Madam, calm down. Ok this is a phase and it will pass. You just need to be calm about it and approach it is a mature way. You have said for better, for worse; so you now need to find a way to make things better and not worse.

Your husband may not be a good communicator. He may be having second thoughts about the marriage. He may also have so many other things on his mind. This is not the time to fight him, rather, this is the time to work with him so that you both can move ahead. Do not make permanent decisions based on temporary situations. As you said earlier, if your salary had been paid, you would have solved the problem yourself; so I advice that you just wait till you get paid which I believe will not be more than two weeks.

I will also suggest you do not demand how he spent his salary. You seem like you do not trust his decision making process or his sense of judgement; but lady, you have to learn to work with your husband. Marriage is teamwork; and both voices have to be heard. Learn to pick your battles and do not fight about every single detail. You need to know what his real problem is and being confrontational will only escalate it rather than solve it. Your marriage is too young for all these physical fight so just try and avoid it ok.

And why would you say the foundation is shaky? I think talking about the shaky foundation will help us understand the root cause of the problem, even though I think I know what you mean from your previous comments.

Tiredwify:
I have a job, earn more than him. He got a loan for our house rent. Anytime i propose tp him that we should start saving, he turns it down. I contribute to d family upkeep. Sometimes, i take care of bills without asking for refund. All i asked him was how he spent his salary for last month . I am yet to collect mine so I cant buy stuffs needed in d house. He told me he used all to settle debts and I asked him if there is any oda debt apart from the one I knew of. He kept mute. I got very angry. Seriously, i am tired of our financial state. That was what brought out the rage in me tonight

HUH? And why would you ask for refund? like seriously

Anyways sapeledon and marvellousGod have objectively and unbiasedly outlined who has attitude problems and who seriously need classes on anger management, crises management and relationship tips marriage-wise, and your guess is as good as mine.

*Use you tongue and count your teeth

Goodluck and good day!

Tiredwify:
In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

You will need to cool down and when you have a conducive atmosphere,have a talk with your husband about finances.
There's no doubt that your husband has worked himself in much debt that he is finding hard to settle.
Who does your husband listen to?In marriage,having someone you or your partner respects and can listen to is important.
Your marriage is still young and rough patches are not unexpected but you both should calm down and make things work.

@SapeleDon nice advice

Nashville:
Madam, calm down. Ok this is a phase and it will pass. You just need to be calm about it and approach it is a mature way. You have said for better, for worse; so you now need to find a way to make things better and not worse.

Your husband may not be a good communicator. He may be having second thoughts about the marriage. He may also have so many other things on his mind. This is not the time to fight him, rather, this is the time to work with him so that you both can move ahead. Do not make permanent decisions based on temporary situations. As you said earlier, if your salary had been paid, you would have solved the problem yourself; so I advice that you just wait till you get paid which I believe will not be more than two weeks.

I will also suggest you do not demand how he spent his salary. You seem like you do not trust his decision making process or his sense of judgement; but lady, you have to learn to work with your husband. Marriage is teamwork; and both voices have to be heard. Learn to pick your battles and do not fight about every single detail. You need to know what his real problem is and being confrontational will only escalate it rather than solve it. Your marriage is too young for all these physical fight so just try and avoid it ok.

And why would you say the foundation is shaky? I think talking about the shaky foundation will help us understand the root cause of the problem, even though I think I know what you mean from your previous comments.

Huh? The baby should starve for 2 weeks?
You mean the wife should keep quiet and keep feeding and housing a grown bottom adult even when the said man keeps splurging without any care for his own family?
How far you've changed 'cos you weren't always like this. Or Is it a situation of a sheep that follows dog....?

^^^

Tiredwify:
In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

I really do feel your pains and the desire to want to see change happen. please don't give up God Will be your strength.

Tiredwify:
In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

@ OP, God will bless and help you.
I'm a bit bothered by some of the things you revealed on your husband's financial status.
You said, he is indebted but you do not know how much and who he is owing! He earns his salary and told you he has used everything to offset debts - debts you don't know who he owes and how much more to offset in the future and how the debts came about!!
This is strange and I hope he is not being blackmailed and that something or someone is not ripping him off financially.
If you do not know of any genuine marriage counsellor, I will suggest both of you go into counselling and prayers with a genuine and sincere Man of God who both of you respect.

Please, this is your marriage...don't ever think of divorce. It is unbiblical and the children in the marriage are worse off for it.

luvablesam:



'Man enuf to his responsibilities' how madam?

A man that says a woman is the cause of his problems is surely frustrated and YES u 'might' actually be a part of his problems.
Who takes a loan to pay for Rent? A man hardly suggests such or aint I right?, wouldn't it have been better if u lived in a less expensive part of town and buy a small car to ferry u to work? Or u are the 'Am all class' kinda chic?
In your One year of marriage,how much have u contributed,financially or morally?
Y wud u lock a mans shirt in the heat of an argument? Or u actually wanted to beat him abi? You are lucky he didn't slap you into another nationality like I would have done if I was in his shoes(I don't subscribe to physical abuse anyway).

Woman you are already thinkin of who takes the child when u can sort out your selves in a matured manner.

Men: The easiest way to loose a woman to another is thru physical abuse. Its a NO NO.

SapeleDon:

LESSON: Tough times don't last and a WISE woman builds her home.

GBAM,Spot on, i tuale for you

What was the argument about?

Why does he say you are the cause of his problem?

Tiredwify:
In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

You are a very good woman. God bless you.

Tell him in a peaceful moment, when he is relaxed, that you are willing to carry all financial responsibilities as long as you can and that you are willing to support him but also tell him that he has to open up on what happens with his money and then give him a deadline of 4 weeks, in which he has to tell you why he is always out of money. You can also write him a short letter or a short message. Be gentle, choose the right words but be clear and determined.

You are a family. As a wife it is your right to know where all his money goes.

Just go back to him. Tell him you're sorry.
Its the devil n all that.
Take it easy.
marriage is not easy.
Men like to be in charge.
Apply diplomacy.

@OP

Sorry for what happened to u. Though I would say you push to far by locking his shirt (may be alter some nasty statements as well). Is that enough justification for physical violence? NO i would say.

Foundation, Foundation, Foundation :
You got married because you got pregnant, It seems he is not ready yet, he only got married because you got pregnant.
May be you are not the one he wanted to get married to in the first instance ... The heart is deep who knows?
May be he is still feeling bad by the pregnancy trap ... who knows?

You sound like a woman that want his home to work out, A selfless person that loves his man but you are very disappointed with his behavioral attitudes.

You are wishing: Only if he could change and be open to me, Only If i know him more, I would support him more.

Before it is too late: Seek counsel, Seek God, your man need to open up.

God help you

There is nothing more important to a man than his dignity and pride.
Money is one of the many ways dignity can be attained. You can afford dignified accommodation food etc.
When you rob a man of his dignity, what use is it that you are contributing (not even solely responsible) for just one aspect through which his dignity is guaranteed.
The first thing you owe him is his respect and regard for him as your husband.
You grabbed his cloths and demanded he explain what he did with his money! That is very rude, it is humiliating, it is mean.
May dear the first way to save this marriage would be for you to apologize for your behavior. I don`t mean !i am sorry. You need to make a real apology. You need to go down and beg.
Just telling you the truth don`t mean to hurt you.

Secondly not earning enough is not a crime. He does what he can in the house, even borrows. Besides he might have parent`s and siblings to fend for.
I can well imagine that he had to give them the money and is too scared to tell you because he knows all hell will break loose.

Imagine a situation that your husband has lots of money tomorrow, he then goes to take another wife. The world might think that he abandoned the woman that supported him in his time of need, while the truth is that you hurt him.
Right now he is accepting your contributions with pain.
It is amazing how people build a house with so much hard work and then bulldoze it out of anger, temper or vanity.

If you spoke with love to your husband and he saw you as a partner, he would confide everything in you.

Please don`t think I am trying to condemn you. .. I just want to get you thinking in the other direction.
You have to be careful in a relationship. There are somethings that really hurt the other partner. The pain lingers on for long. They may forgive but not forget.

So my advice:

go and apologize to him in a very sober way.

secondly, it is his duty to run the house, help him, you are his wife. That is the meaning of love.

never get rude or physical on your husband. Talk like n educated woman to him! Polite and cultured.

He probably feels u hooked him with d pregnancy dats why he said u're d cause of his problems(increased responsibilities) . A woman shudnt ask her husband how he spent his salary, d man's pride will be hurt. he will feel threatened cos u earn than him. Pls don't 'lock him' next tym so he doesn't disfigure u with blows. I'm scared of marks on my body

Tiredwify:
He said that tonight after a heated argument, he even went as far as beating me up cos I locked his cloth. I asked him about his finances, how he spends money et al. I cant even type it all. I need to speak with matured christian woman. I am totally fed up. Our marriage is less than a year. We dated for two years. Someone should pls help me out. I dont want to leave my child behind. I need help. I am tired. I want a peaceful home and a good husband. Oh Lord, i never bargained for this, Oluwa saanu funmi.

Plls stop arguing with Ur hubby, it wounds a man's ego. 2pple no de craze d same time. They r oda ways of resolving issues without heated argument. Marriage is work and needs patience. Try to be calm when angry.

Uhmmm....

Just like some of you suggested, i went on my knees to beg him. I apologised for locking up his shirt and every of my action that might have gotten him upset. Meanwhile, he stopped eating my food and sleeping in our room.

He said he knew my intentions were right but my approach was wrong. I told him that if he had answered my question that night maybe there wouldn't have been need for quarrels.

He apologised for beating me and that he didn't mean to.

Okay! Quarrel settled. I have resolved to do the following:

1. Speak to my pastor to arrange counselling classes for us
2. I will ask him for monthly upkeep and whatever he says becomes the rule for that month.
3. I will never ask him how he spends his salary again.
4. I will start saving on my own (massively)
5. I will ask him for every need in the house, i will assist in meeting the ones he cant meet.


Please chip in one or two things concerning these resolutions of mine.

Thanks for being there always!!!

Nothing more to add. If you and your husband have agreed to these resolutions then God will bless your agreement.

Both of you are beginning to discover each other and what has happened is all part of you both understanding each other. Patience and good matured communication is always very important.

Nice one woman. You are a woman who wants peace in your home. May God bless your home.

iykedare:
Nice one woman. You are a woman who wants peace in your home. May God bless your home.

Amen. Thanks

Soyedele1:
I always feel sad hearing stories like this. I knw women are frustrating sometimes. While yu thinking towards west, some women will be thinking towards east. The OP locked her husband's cloths, FINE! but yet, I see no reason for her husband to beat her up. Why can't he just calm her down and explain how he spent his salary? What's the big deal there. Irresponsible men beat their wives. I have never slapped or beaten a lady before and I'm still praying to GOD to give the grace not to do such in my life.

OP, I'm so sorry about your situation, God will take control.

Are u married?

amtheone:


Are u married?

About to sir. Money is delaying me sir

emeraldoe:
A woman shudnt ask her husband how he spent his salary, d man's pride will be hurt. he will feel threatened cos u earn than him.

I'm sorry, I'll have to disagree with you on this. A spouse should know how much their partner earns. OP was well within her rights to ask how her husband's salary got drained, especially as needs couldn't be met.

Tiredwify:
Uhmmm....

Just like some of you suggested, i went on my knees to beg him. I apologised for locking up his shirt and every of my action that might have gotten him upset. Meanwhile, he stopped eating my food and sleeping in our room.

He said he knew my intentions were right but my approach was wrong. I told him that if he had answered my question that night maybe there wouldn't have been need for quarrels.

He apologised for beating me and that he didn't mean to.

Okay! Quarrel settled. I have resolved to do the following:

1. Speak to my pastor to arrange counselling classes for us
2. I will ask him for monthly upkeep and whatever he says becomes the rule for that month.
3. I will never ask him how he spends his salary again.
4. I will start saving on my own (massively)
5. I will ask him for every need in the house, i will assist in meeting the ones he cant meet.


Please chip in one or two things concerning these resolutions of mine.

Thanks for being there always!!!

Don't go to any pastor for any counseling .it turns out for the worst most times .see how most of them have ended up wifeless.

Tiredwify:
Uhmmm....

Just like some of you suggested, i went on my knees to beg him. I apologised for locking up his shirt and every of my action that might have gotten him upset. Meanwhile, he stopped eating my food and sleeping in our room.

He said he knew my intentions were right but my approach was wrong. I told him that if he had answered my question that night maybe there wouldn't have been need for quarrels.

He apologised for beating me and that he didn't mean to.

Okay! Quarrel settled. I have resolved to do the following:

1. Speak to my pastor to arrange counselling classes for us
2. I will ask him for monthly upkeep and whatever he says becomes the rule for that month.
3. I will never ask him how he spends his salary again.
4. I will start saving on my own (massively)
5. I will ask him for every need in the house, i will assist in meeting the ones he cant meet.


Please chip in one or two things concerning these resolutions of mine.

Thanks for being there always!!!

Nice one

However, I don't get 2, 3 and 5

Soyedele1:


About to sir. Money is delaying me sir

Do it within ur means and pls don't borrow. Ur wedding is just a Day while Ur Marriage is a life time.

God bless you real good. I have learnt something from this so I would say... Thanks for sharing (and not dying in silence).

This will come to pass dear... I can see you are on the right track dispite the foundation. With wisdom you shall overcome.

Tiredwify:
Uhmmm....

Just like some of you suggested, i went on my knees to beg him. I apologised for locking up his shirt and every of my action that might have gotten him upset. Meanwhile, he stopped eating my food and sleeping in our room.

He said he knew my intentions were right but my approach was wrong. I told him that if he had answered my question that night maybe there wouldn't have been need for quarrels.

He apologised for beating me and that he didn't mean to.

Okay! Quarrel settled. I have resolved to do the following:

1. Speak to my pastor to arrange counselling classes for us
2. I will ask him for monthly upkeep and whatever he says becomes the rule for that month.
3. I will never ask him how he spends his salary again.
4. I will start saving on my own (massively)
5. I will ask him for every need in the house, i will assist in meeting the ones he cant meet.


Please chip in one or two things concerning these resolutions of mine.

Thanks for being there always!!!