crackhaus:

You are in the spirit.

Makes one wonder if it's from their personal experiences or watching too many Nollywood movies...

overtime I found out majority of folks on here relate their personal experiences to majority, while these is just a problem with minor who have got different orientation and exposure. If majority of mother in laws are bad , how many women will still be willing to marry knowing fully well they will have to deal with a " wicked family inlaw".

cKaiser:




Most people think men are stupidd and dont know what they are doing.

I am sure some of MKO Abiolas wifes too thought he didnt know they were cheating until they saw he mandated them to have their kids do a DNA? You would think Kema Chikwe's husband, those Nollywood actresses, those celebrities husband too dont know

Even the average joes on the street, whose wife go to sleep with men around you think he is dumb and doesnt know a thing? The woman who was sleeping with one popular Pastor you would think her husband dont know.
I know guys who have caught their wife cheat and wont say a thing outside. One didnt even tell a single soul about it because of the shame the society would tag him for allowing a philandering wife, It was until he divorced her years later before he told people whereas if it was a woman immediately she would raise alarm

Because men have a way of internalising or rather ignoring things you think they dont know also?

So everyone in the area knows Mrs X is doing runs and her husband wont have any idea, any slipped text, calls, etc or no one would tell her husband

The men who know are either cheating themselves or stay for some reasons beneficial to them.If Kema Chikwe is cheating,I bet the husband must be enjoying the booty.She a strong PDP woman you know.What do you expect of Abiola's wives?They had a husband who was not available except for the money.Even Abiola couldn't hate on that.He only wanted to ensure he paid for the kids that were his.

thorpido:
First of all,the men don't and won't stay in such relationships long enough to be conditioned by it.
Again men have other places to let out their frustrations than in a son's house.......womanize,sit in bars and get drunk,gamble etc.

oh you have not met a frustrated man, he is worse than that mil you think is frustrated.

saucechilli:


100% correct.

I can't even wait for these crevettes to grow up fast so we continue from where we left off . Too much distractions.

Then it's to follow my Son and his wife about.
You also have men married to mummy, their wives are just for breeding, nothing else.

Then these group of women will focus on their sons for emotional support. What a dumbsh1t cycle

"You also have men married to mummy, their wives are just for breeding, nothing else."-- U have a mess up mentality

majekdom2:
There is this class of women I am yet to understand , this class complains about Nigerian men , complains about mother inlaws and family in law, complains about everyday living. How can they be pleased really ?

Now we are talking.

Nigerian men are evil unlike other races, Nigerian Mother in laws are evil, Sister In law are demons, Nigerian employers are evil, Nigerian drivers are evil, Nigerian family in laws are evil, drivers are bad, maids are terrible, co-workers are monsters

The only saints in this Nigeria are those women ONLY. Atimes the best question is to ask what they really want and how have they deserved it

Judging a story heard from one side is haif judgement-two wrongs don't make a right, if you want to pay him in his own coin,its you that will loose-reason,he can easily pick a 16yr old, dust and polished her to his taste and marry her, assuming you guys call it quits-but you, it will take the grace of God to have a suitor after 2,3... How many kids

Pls my dear,continuing giving him all the attension,he is your eartly LORD,by so doing,you'll be heaping coals of burning fire on him-it won't be easy,but its possible.

Goodluck

thorpido:
What determines chemistry or relationships?Usually personality.
What determines personality?Character
What determines character?A combination of nature,environment, thoughts and things that are fed into the subconscious.

Largely,the way you will relate with people is determined by who you are.

and so character flaws is never a gender thing... This has been my message.

majekdom2:
the same way you got no time is the same way many Nigerian mother in laws have got no time these days .The generalization poo is a problem with nigeria. The fact that you had this experience does not mean it happens to majority. This happens to women who are either solely dependent or are idle themselves. As a woman just as I wont take poo from my husband is the same way I won't take poo from my inlaws. Well I have lived the most part of my life on Nigeria, I don't believe in living abroad anyways and I have lived in 4 major cities in this country , I said its ancient and village because I have barely heard of these issues. There is this class of women I am yet to understand , this class complains about Nigerian men , complains about mother inlaws and family in law, complains about everyday living. How can they be pleased really ?

Bolded. ...
You may be onto something....

Interesting

crackhaus:

While you make some points, it's also presumptuous to ascribe a troublesome MIL to how well her own marriage fared.

She may not just like her DILs character/behaviour.

she may be right in the end.... You know problem with most couples is the like the " leave us alone , its our life"

thorpido:
Actually,I'm not saying a troublesome MIL is automatically a product of a failed marriage.Some people are naturally troublesome and can't be easily satisfied.
However,women who pick quarrels with their DILs usually are letting out some frustrations that to a great extent has to do with their own marriages.

My wife usually makes this statement whenever our daughter is disturbing her and she needs to do something for me: 'hey,let me have time for my husband'.By God's grace we grow into old age together,do you think she will have time for a DIL?Probably not.

Your first paragraph would have been enough until you added the next bit I put in bold.

cococandy:
interesting. So some men do hide and put up with infidelity? Ok I'm hearing this on nl for the first time.

Well because most men dont gather a pity party doesn't mean they dont know or are not dealing with it. Ini Edo's husband divorced her this year, They been married for 7yrs. Do you think he just found out about the cheating Ini this year?

The good thing about women is they think men are dumb who can't even think. You see a girl dump her 7yr boyfriend for a richer guy and claims it was because of love, the rich guy too wont say anything and simply play along. To women, they would believe their scheme worked.

WHen all those women were dumping their husband to marry Abiola they probably thought MKO was a fool.

A poor boy sleeps with them for 7yrs no pregnancy, one day a guy working in Shell sleeps with them the following week they are preganant WHy because na the Shell guy spermm strong pass.

majekdom2:
oh you have not met a frustrated man, he is worse than that mil you think is frustrated.

You're missing the point.There are frustrated men.They usually don't take out their frustrations on their children's families.

Someone said Nigerian married women cheat also, How come we dont usually have threads on here everyday of wifes cheating like we do for husbands

Well we can conclude Nigerian married women are saints who would/have never cheat

cKaiser:


Well because most men dont gather a pity party doesn't mean they dont know or are not dealing with it. Ini Edo's husband divorced her this year, They been married for 7yrs. Do you think he just found out about the cheating Ini this year?

The good thing about women is they think men are dumb who can't even think. You see a girl dump her 7yr boyfriend for a richer guy and claims it was because of love, the rich guy too wont say anything and simply play along. To women, they would believe their scheme worked.

WHen all those women were dumping their husband to marry Abiola they probably thought MKO was a fool.

A poor boy sleeps with them for 7yrs no pregnancy, one day a guy working in Shell sleeps with them the following week they are preganant WHy because na the Shell guy spermm strong pass.

cKaiser:


Well because most men dont gather a pity party doesn't mean they dont know or are not dealing with it. Ini Edo's husband divorced her this year, They been married for 7yrs. Do you think he just found out about the cheating Ini this year?

The good thing about women is they think men are dumb who can't even think. You see a girl dump her 7yr boyfriend for a richer guy and claims it was because of love, the rich guy too wont say anything and simply play along. To women, they would believe their scheme worked.

WHen all those women were dumping their husband to marry Abiola they probably thought MKO was a fool.

A poor boy sleeps with them for 7yrs no pregnancy, one day a guy working in Shell sleeps with them the following week they are preganant WHy because na the Shell guy spermm strong pass.

Please repeat "The good thing about women is they think men are dumb who can't even think"
Men are patient lion --women are not out smarting men
Lot of men just watch u out playing yourself

cKaiser:
Someone said Nigerian married women cheat also, How come we dont usually have threads on here everyday of wifes cheating like we do for husbands

Well we can conclude Nigerian married women are saints who would/have never cheat

Lying. secretive and manipulative soul

cococandy:
hardly.

Now do you understand your bias?
Women in blissful marriages make excellent mothers-in-law while women in sh1tty marriages make terrible mothers-in-law...this is your logic right?

Would you apply this same logic regarding children raised in single-mother homes/broken homes versus children raised in homes complete with both mom and dad?

Do you need me to tell you the similarities between the two?

crackhaus:

Now do you understand your bias?
Women in blissful marriages make excellent mothers-in-law while women in sh1tty marriages make terrible mothers-in-law...this is your logic right?

Would you apply this same logic regarding children raised in single-mother homes/broken homes versus children raised in homes complete with both mom and dad?

Do you need me to tell you the similarities between the two?

there is no similarity. How did you even THINK of such a comparison?

A woman can and should be able to decide when she's had enough. Rather than sit and watch a marriage ruin your person and who you set out to be in life. A kid has no control over who the parents are. A full grown woman has a measure of control over who she's spends the rest of her life with and if to continue in a marriage with a partner who's only goal in life is to make her as miserable as possible because he knows he can get away with it.

majekdom2:
overtime I found out majority of folks on here relate their personal experiences to majority, while these is just a problem with minor who have got different orientation and exposure. If majority of mother in laws are bad , how many women will still be willing to marry knowing fully well they will have to deal with a " wicked family inlaw".

It definitely has to be personal experience, which is why anytime I see comments about the evils of Nigerian men, my mind automatically assumes it must be from some terrible personal experience (boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, brother, father, husband, etc.)

No pun intended.

cKaiser:
Someone said Nigerian married women cheat also, How come we dont usually have threads on here everyday of wifes cheating like we do for husbands

Well we can conclude Nigerian married women are saints who would/have never cheat

I was the one who said it. Maybe for some reason you've been getting the last parts of my posts wrong.I'm fully aware women cheat as much as men. I just don't fancy the silly excuses ppl make for men who cheat and the women who clearly can't bear it but decide to stay put and then take out their frustrations on those around them.

majekdom2:
she may be right in the end.... You know problem with most couples is the like the " leave us alone , its our life"

Indeed.

majekdom2:
overtime I found out majority of folks on here relate their personal experiences to majority, while these is just a problem with minor who have got different orientation and exposure. If majority of mother in laws are bad , how many women will still be willing to marry knowing fully well they will have to deal with a " wicked family inlaw".

who said a majority of mothers in law are bad? So saying frustrated wives end up as mean mothers in law automatically means majority of mothers in law are bad?

I forgot it is nairaland where things are twisted out of context.

cKaiser:



A poor boy sleeps with them for 7yrs no pregnancy, one day a guy working in Shell sleeps with them the following week they are preganant WHy because na the Shell guy spermm strong pass.

this bit is funny. I had to laugh

cococandy:
there is no similarity. How did you even THINK of such a comparison?

A woman can and should be able to decide when she's had enough. Rather than sit and watch a marriage ruin your person and who you set out to be in life. A kid has no control over who the parents are. A full grown woman has a measure of control over who she's spends the rest of her life with and if to continue in a marriage with a partner who's only goal in life is to make her as miserable as possible because he knows he can get away with it.

A full grown woman(MIL) has a measure of control over how her own sh1tty marriage can directly affect her relationship with her DIL.

So you didn't deduce the similarity between the two huh?
That's what happens with someone who's biased.

GoodFaith:

"You also have men married to mummy, their wives are just for breeding, nothing else."-- U have a mess up mentality

E pain am!
I guess you are also used for breeding. Go unto the world and multiply

Interesting

cococandy:
who said a majority of mothers in law are bad? So saying frustrated wives end up as mean mothers in law automatically means majority of mothers in law are bad?

I forgot it is nairaland where things are twisted out of context.

that was how the other lady put it, been a fan of your posts until your wrong assumptions came up . An unhappy marriage isn't just about a partner cheating . There are faithful partners who are unhappy in their marriages. Isnt t right to conclude such women in these marriages can turn out to be frustrated MILs. You are who you are because of your orientation and exposure which defines your character. I won't compare myself with anyone, but I don't see myself doing evil to the next person because I am frustrated knowing fully well they are not the cause.

saucechilli:


E pain am!
I guess you are also used for breeding. Go unto the world and multiply

I am a dude
"You also have men married to mummy, their wives are just for breeding, nothing else."-- U have a mess up mentality
If any person think that people only marry for breeding is sickening
People don't have to marry but just have baby mama
Some people want to tell the world that the man just used her for breeding

GoldCircle:

Talk is cheap! Nairaland is an anonymous forum. peeps can rant all day, while concealing their true identity. I bet more than half the people who spew these sturvs here can't walk the talk.

Don't be deceived.

I know but there plenty of women who r thinking like that in real world. Loads of example of desperate wish of him to change loool. To be honest i regret marrying

Thanks everyone for the advice I really appreciate . believe it or not posting my story here and reading all your different opinions has help me make up my mind.
.also i talked to a lady who is married but once cheated on her husband and she explained that though it was fun at the time she totally regrets it now and spends nights feeling guilty n hoping her husband never finds out.

I have decided to fight for my marriage by prayer, making some personal changes and planning alot of family trips n outings . I have spoken to my man n explained that i m willing to try again so long as he is willing to change n ended with a warning that if it happens again he will never see me n d kids again.I will continue using the condoms 4 now till i can fully trust him again. I dont think it makes sense for me to give another woman power over my home.we ve worked too hard to get to where we at.

Well thanks again all. God bless u all.

Amebo!!!!!gbegborun

Sophyrocks:


Look at you. sorry to burst your bubble, she is already married. Stop fantasizing. You lots always using menopause to threaten women since the year 600 BC. Una no dey old too? U don marry urself?

GoodFaith:

I am a dude
"You also have men married to mummy, their wives are just for breeding, nothing else."-- U have a mess up mentality
If any person think that people only marry for breeding is sickening
People don't have to marry but just have baby mama
Some people want to tell the world that the man just used her for breeding

If you don't know that some men marry for breeding then we have nothing to talk about.

I don't even know what you are yapping about ?