happywife:
Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

bennyrazz:
I find this your story too big to swallow. You noticed missing condoms from your condom stash?? and it wasn't used by hubby on you it was used on his mistress. Really its funny cuz hubby thought you were not counting?? why can't hubby buy condoms outside? why would he have to take from your stash? could he have brought another woman into your house while you were away?? so many questions begging for answers. Supposing your story is true, you should have where to report him to. The major issue with marriage these days is money & cheating partner.

happywife:
Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

Katier00:
why are you calling me names, you just heard the woman, she wants to start xtra marital affair because her hubby is doing so, that is not life, why not leave , fall in love again and maybe that will be the right man instead of cheating

veave:


Were did you read that she wants to start extra marital affairs? She only said she doesn't want to be tempted to start.

omoharry:
Ya. I thought as much, nice analysis. Nairaland men, I hope you guys are seeing how your colleagues are using their own hand to destroy their marriage, later they will come here and start lamenting that their wives were not the women they married.

Nashville:
OP,

From your very first post, you seemed like one of those retired runs-girls who dated married men when she was single and was lucky enough to get married to some nice guy. You seem so comfortable with the belief that "most men cheat" so you are just trying to figure out how to cope with the "expected" cheating that comes with marriage. But I did not want to most.

happywife:
I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life .

jennykadry:


Why should she leave? She wants to open her legs so let her be.

I don't believe this story anyways

caesaraba:


Who cares if you believe it or not. Allow people to discuss the woman's issue meaningfully please. Haba.

San2ski:
Just
Take
A
Deep
Breath
And
Believe
That
You
Are
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wrong




because you could be.
My babe exactly does this (and worse) when actually I was hung out with my guys gambling somewhere in Mile 3.

Chiefpriest1:
There are basically three kinds of cheats, the serial cheat, the occasional cheat and those who stray once in a while. More than 95per cent of nigerian husbands would fall into this category at a point in their life.

Your decision would be informed by the category he falls, but I want to believe he just strayed since this is the first time you ve 'caught' him.

Matters like this require patience. Some kids who have never had a relationship talk more of getting married will soon be here to advice you to divorce your husband. Fact is that most men cheat and many of those who are not cheating probably havent had the chance.

Depending on the kind of man you married (you know him better than everyone here), I guess what you should do is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Dont be confrontational.

Ask him if hes willing to swap his happy family with whatever pleasure he's getting outside.

Appeal to his emotions without being judgmental. The intention is to break him, make him 'confess' , apologise and promise that it wont happen again.

If he does this, forgive him and try forgetting, though it might be difficult. If you see him as your last bus stop, you ll do everything to make the marriage work.

I am not advising you to start asking yourself unnecessary questions, but you might need to check if you haven't shifted attention from your husband to your children.

Women tend to do that alot, forgetting that they met the man first before the kids started coming(marriage counsellors know this).

Whatever it is, dont hate him, dont get violent. Dont let the devil take charge. He ll come around and things Will be normal again.

annita19:
More like how to tolerate abusive husband. That's infidelity, divorce his a$$. That's how

SirShymex:
It is a phase, especially with those who start early. It's just basically like being too outgoing - you are going to get bored of it after a while. But if ya husband started late - then you might need Jesus to take the wheel loool.

As long as he find peace at home, and you are not an insolent and problematic wife, with no manners and knowledge of how to treat a man right. He will outgrow it. All he needs is peace at home and a patient wife. And you'd be surprised when he becomes a new man with a whole new game plan.

jennykadry:


You care...thats why you took out time out of your busy schedule to quote and reply my post

Bizibi:
I don't know why some men will just keep doing things that is so wrong but humans ain't perfect,I am a man and what some men do say about cheating on their wives make me feel ashame of them....a happy home is far better than ..........but I have seen wonderful men that are so loyal to their wives that u feel like "I want to be like that man".the society is changing and I pray things don't go so awkward to the extent of making marriage look like a fantasy

What about the things women do before they get married? We still overlook those things and marry them.But they dwell so much on the things we do. After manhandling all the peni$e$ available, you want to have one(your husband's own) to yourself ehhh. Chai,these women sef.

happywife:
I need advice on how to cope with a cheating husband.

I have always suspected that my husband was cheating on me but confirmed it recently when i found some condoms were missing from our home n his bank statement showed payment for a hotel when i was away on a short trip .when i confronted him his stories ranged from his friend took it to i was mistaken in my counting n to i went to the room but changed my mind n left without doing anything. but his behaviour showed he was sorry for about 2 weeks then back to normal. problem now is i cant bring myself to trust him n my love for him is reducing daily.when he comes home late from work or doesn't take my calls all i can think about is that he is with another woman. To be honest it's killing me slowly cos i find myself calling him n quarrelling with him constantly.

I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life . Sometimes i feel like paying him in his own coin but i m a one man kind of babe.

I just want to concentrate on my kids now but how do i cope with being suspicious all d time n being jealous n bitter n a whole lot of emotions thats killing me.

happywife:


I dont know about this part i refuse to do it because its like encouraging bad behaviour. i feel it will make him think no matter wat he will be forgiven.

Nashville:
OP,

From your very first post, you seemed like one of those retired runs-girls who dated married men when she was single and was lucky enough to get married to some nice guy. You seem so comfortable with the belief that "most men cheat" so you are just trying to figure out how to cope with the "expected" cheating that comes with marriage. But I did not want to sound harsh, so I didn't respond to your first few posts.

When you now explained that your solution was to cheat on him as well, I was 95% sure that you dated married men in your past and cheating is no big deal to you. In fact, you just want to go back to your old ways of having aristo, sugar daddy, maga, uncle, sponsor etc. by the side. I am sure you have already lined up some ex-boyfriends to call.

But I became 100% sure that you were an ex-runs girls when you said your husband is a very good man. He might be a good man and a good father but he is certainly not a good husband. Good husbands are not serial cheats. Your mindset is completely skewed because you have come to accept it as the norm. I can bet 1 million naira you dated married men when you were single; so you now believe it is normal.

One thing I like about you though, is that you are not a hypocrite. For you, cheating is normal - for both men and women so you don't see anything wrong. You dated married men when you were single, now that it's happening to you, you are not really complaining; so I give you credit for being sincere and honest. You are not like some hypocrites that dated several married men when they were single and yet would come and complain their husbands are cheating on them. Those are the ones I dislike the most.

Mermaidoflife:

no don't say that yet dear. She needs to give him the silent treatment. Be strong and be cold for at least 2 weeks. No sex, no conversation, matter of fact, be too busy to care. If he cares he'll come through, and you can tell him what you know and what you want. Be wise....if it happens again, file for a divorce! so Annita is right

Sophyrocks:
This Op sef is even funny. She is asking how she can keep coping with the cheating without feeling bad or getting mad about it. How is that possible? Women who do that successfully are cheats. they cheat in return so they dnt feel bad about it. Seems she sees herself as log of wood with no feelings or emotions. Keep tolerating o till you get HIV and Hepatitis.