coogar:
i am not training any of my sons to be in the kitchen. they can mow the lawns, do heavy lifting and tasks normally associated with men but asking them to cook or do dishes is just totally out of the question.

kandiikane:

Unless you have changed your mind to be a househusband then that part of the training will be left to your housewife. Just make sure you get someone who doesn't believe in their male child fending for themselves.

coogar:


hahahaha
i like how you twisted this - so in which circumstance would you see a woman lifting heavy objects that can snap her spine into two while the hubby is in the kitchen slicing tomatoes?

not many cases. But not impossible. We have a family close to us where the husband is the main cook of the house simply because he does it better than the wife. And yes he's the main breadwinner too because momma patti surely makes peanuts compared to what he does

women aren't secondary beings
i don't think that's what he's saying - he only said some roles aren't perfectly interchangeable. men should stick to being men and women should stick to their traditional roles in the home. it's what it is - i don't intend to compete with my wife in the kitchen.

the thing is teaching boys how to be domesticated and girls to be ( erm, what? I don't know ) won't make any gender less of what they are. Even some roles aren't perfectly interchangeable, emphasis on perfectly,it doesn't hurt for one to try as much as possible to be as versed in them as they can. Times have changed,so the measure of womanhood has moved from how well a woman can cook.

coogar:


. they should be out there riding bikes, learning how to swim, play football with their mates or playing cops & robbers. that is what shapes men into what they are - not the amount of dishes they can do!

coogar:


i won't let any wife domesticate or emasculate my sons. they should be out there riding bikes, learning how to swim, play football with their mates or playing cops & robbers. that is what shapes men into what they are - not the amount of dishes they can do!

cococandy:
girls should learn that too. Whether football or any sport of their choice. It is not good to encourage "eat, lie down in the house and get fat in women "

kandiikane:

That's just sad especially this day and age. How does learning to cook or clean your house etc emasculate a man?

That man must live a very dirty life because It's not easy for a chick to come clean your house even those who have been prepared to be housewives from birth. They were made for the husbands not any other man.

No, being able to fend for yourself in all aspects and not having to always rely on a woman is what makes a man. It just shows that majority of men are nothing but pittance without women yet all they do is talk through their azz.

coogar:


see me thinking the girls do more in the kitchen - absorbing the heat from the boiling pepper and oozing out sweats in their pores. how can they get fat in that circumstance?

cococandy:
you're incorrigible

crackhaus:
Men who don't know how to cook are not dying of starvation and hunger, these topics of men being domesticated or not are totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

When hunger beckons, even those that can't boil water know what to do...period!

coogar:


see me thinking the girls do more in the kitchen - absorbing the heat from the boiling pepper and oozing out sweats in their pores. how can they get fat in that circumstance?



what's the worst possible scenario that will happen to a man that cannot cook? will he starve to death? will his marriage proposal to his woman be refused based on the fact that he cannot cook? come on - cooking adds nothing or removes nothing from men

the best chinese food in my area is just about £5 - singapore fried rice with shrimps(yummy). you eat, you dispose the pack and there's no soaking of pots or scrubbing burnt amala.



says who?
women love to care or be the nurturer. maybe you see this as a chore or punishment - some women genuinely love to cook & ask how delicious the meal is. i get offers every time to be cooked for. it must be because of my pink lips.



i don't rely on women....
i rely on my wallet. i am very finicky about food first & foremost. i don't 70% of the standard naija food - i am used to eating out. the persistent smell of food in the house kills my appetite sef......so i would rather eat out than rely on any woman to cook for me.

coogar:


thank you.....
when hunger beckons, men aren't so tight-fisted like women to pay for what they are not good at. i'm yet to hear of a man that died of starvation simply because he cannot cook for himself.

letting boys cook is a waste of time.

coogar:


i never change - too stuck in my ways.

the mission is to get my boys out there & learn survival skills.......after that, they can go after kandiikane's daughters in full force.

crackhaus:

I'm yet to hear of it too.

Last time I checked, women in reality take it as a thing of joy and pride to cook a fine meal for their man morning, noon, and night...and watch him devour their culinary greatness with delight and satisfaction.

I don't know what's wrong with these chics on the internet.

kandiikane:

crackhaus:

Fine girl, hawayu?

My offer is still on the table...

kandiikane:

lol you have been watching too many nollywood movies. If she is staring at you like that whilst eating her food, there is a high chance that food is poisoned.


I will go over your offer when I am 50 with 8 kids. Your son will probably be the one get my answer.

carefreewannabe:

I replied that what you call African culture today is what "Western culture" was some 50-100 years ago.
..
Please tell me, how traditional gender roles are unique of "the African culture"?

UjSizzle:
.. we don't live in the 13th century...

beeevan:
As long as you are in my house,you Must do chores( all chores) , reserve your manhood for who gives a heck .

DesChyko:


Have you ever heard this quotes "Be a man"? If certainly, you understand the origin and interpretations of that quote in all ramifications, I'm afraid, you certainly give two hecks about 'manhood'.

DesChyko:


So the world says but reality paints a different picture in our home country; much more similar to the world we 'verbally' left behind.

In the face of factual disposition, only a person who keeps 'wishes' and 'desires' out of his today's meaningful existence can be fit to face the nearest tomorrow.

I hear something different from people. I read something different from articles. And still, my relationship and experiences with elderly men and women sing the same old song.

Nah. I'll only commit these 'verbal' developments to memory but live today as it really is.

coogar:

. it must be because of my pink lips.

UjSizzle:

Let me tell you a story about my reality.

When my eldest brother was 10 (which put me at about 7), our parents got divorced.
There was one man struggling with 4 children. Do you know what out saving grace was? He knew his way around the house. For a while he cooked, took us to school, showered us...he literally dis everything his wife should be doing.
And he we as able to do that because despite having grown in a deeply patriarchal society(his brother is a testament to that), my dad fancies he has the spirit (reincarnated) of a woman. So he watched the women in his life and he learnt to handle domestic stuff normally attributed to the feminine gender. Just long enough till he could find someone (a help) to handle that, while he faced his more manly role of being the benefactor.

Now if you go back to the post you so smartly ignored, you'll see what I meant by taking into cognizance the factors at work in the 21st century ergo divorce rate and economic/political situations, and see why there is need to make adjustments in the manner our boys are trained.

We are suppose to work at equipping people to be their best possible selves at every point in their lives, and as self reliant as possible.

No one has asked you to make the primary responsibility of a man domestic work, sheesh then whose job will it be to provide a safety net for the woman and her children
But just like you teach women to recognise economical viable opportunities and taking advantage of them, we also need to teach men navigate their way round a home with ease.

It's not a gender war, it's survival.

crackhaus:

..It's when women make it seem compulsory that a boy-child must sit alongside his sister(s) in the kitchen to learn stuff, this is where I see it as overkill and not necessary...

DesChyko:


Ahaa.. The exact line I was looking to represent without contradicting myself.
I included 'primarily' there because while it is normal to see bachelors patronize eatries, it is obscence to happen upon women who have no influence on their kitchens and environments in the orthodox African environs.
The lessons are crucial for a woman-to-be, but quite excusable for the boy-child.
This is the reality.

carefreewannabe:


Because?